The Gangs Of New York

 Chester Storyhouse, houses the professional Grovenesor Park Outdoor Theatre each year.

We went to see the impressive production of The Gangs Of New York by Kieran Lynn last night and we’re pleasantly surprised to me more entertained than I ever was with the awful film version.

The messages about how corruption, power and American politics go hand in hand were not lost on the audience or the ad-libbing  actors and although the drama was often played for laughs the violence on stage felt visceral, graphic and at times shocking. 

Great performances by Hanora Kamen, Yondola Ovide, and a rather sexy but menacing James Sheldon as Bill The Butcher.

A lovely evening

My girl

 

 

My laburnum, like us all, is another year older.

The council workmen and gardeners came for their first grass cut of the year at the Churchyard today and I found myself hurrying like a pioneer woman in an Indian Attack to the stockade which was the Church wall to check on the safety of my laburnum.

I should not have worried

Standing firm and with a mop of grand leaves, she stands strong and robust against the other trees d,And

I’m proud as any parent would be

No Twins

 Yesterday left me feeling , if not sad, certainly a tad melancholy.

Subsequently all those little jobs I had planned , didn’t get done, 

And the cat flap has yet to be fixed.

The kittens ( who will be henceforth now be referred to as the twins ) will not be arriving today as planned either,

Lily’s hernia is not quite right and because of that the Cat Manager agreed to keep her under observation at home until the 5th of August, the day I’m back after London, and of course Weaver will be staying with her. The twins will have their own room upstairs until they are more robust. 

It’s already decked out with cat litter, a few toys and old copies of the Guardian 

The next three videos are random, my favourite Italian cook, who hangs her tea towel on her bra strap ( love that) a video of the Gop Hill behind Trelawnyd at dusk and Conwy Castle ,the beautiful castle I see everyday going to work.

A Gay Funeral

 

No kittens today, I will collect them tomorrow.

Sunday, I heard that it was an old friend’s funeral today. 

Not a case of bad news travelled fast

It didn’t. 

I wanted to go and did so without reservation, this is the second such funeral I’ve attended

I’d dated David sporadically in the 1990s up to the Millennium  but he was in the closet and my temper wore thin with secrecy . So I finished my relationship with him to date a more volatile  and handsome Philip

Who was only slightly less closeted than David

It wasn’t a good time lol.

David and I romantically crossed paths only when I was single. When I was in a relationship my rules were always platonic and he respected that. 

He was the last friend I had that still wrote proper letters 

My last to him was only three months ago. 

Our last meet was in 2022 at the Ibis Hotel in Chesterfield

I met his partner this afternoon. An old Yorkshireman with a ready but sad smile 

“ I’m sorry , I don’t know who you are “ he said to me in the Crematorium line 

“ an old mate from the 90s “ I told him 

There were a few single guys my age dotted around  I noticed, a few smiled when Laura Brannigan was played as the curtains closed

Good Practice

 I have always focused my nursing on best practice 

And I have always made it a priority to praise good practice when I see it.

Both here and within the clinical areas.

Best practice isn’t always evidence based , and research supported .

It is often the small, and vital and the very human 

And I see it every day 

I once decided that a support worker was going to be a good friend by the way she brushed a patient.’s hair

She sang feed the birds as she did so

Thankful - Grupo Talia

It was warm when I got home, and dusk allowed me to lie on the damp grass of the front garden for a little while. Roger under my right arm, Mary under my right

After a 12 hour shift, it’s the best way to clear your head, 

Listening to my lisping choir, gently pulling their punches

I’m two thirds through my counselling course and am actually on track with my academic work and my practical assessments and experience.

I’m working to finish my final nursing revalidation this month ( the last time I will need to prove to the NMC that I am a nurse worthy of practice) 

I am expecting new kittens on Tuesday and the 49th Trelawnyd Flower Show takes place next month 

In ten days I’m in London seeing A Chorus Line at Saddler’s Wells followed by the trip around the gardens and state rooms of Buckingham Palace. 

Trips to see Come From Away, The Gangs Of New York, and some old friends from Sheffield plug some of gaps 

I’m 62

There’s a lot to be thankful for

Asparagus and pea

 The bin men have just been.

As usual Roger has been bouncing up and down at the kitchen wall in order to greet them. 

They miss Dorothy and said so, as big gloved hands patted smiling bouncing Terrier on the head.

Mary can’t be bothered.

Last night I went to Chester with a friend and we say Ghost The Musical.

It was dreadful 

We walked out at the half time interval, but laughed a lot.

It was an amateur production, which of course, you make allowances for, but dire is dire is dire and We are too long in the tooth to waste too much time on crap.

The sun was still shining when we talked out so we sat in the still crowded market place and ate cake and people watched. 

It felt as though we were on holiday.

Today, I have nothing planned , no films, no lunches out, no company.

I’m working all day tomorrow, to today will be rest day

However

I am going to make an Asparagus and pea risotto now thickened with lots of Parmesan 

Bloody lovely

Weaver and………

 I wasn’t swayed by the cuteness overload, I’ve never found kittens or puppies totally adorable if the truth be known , but Weaver turned up unexpectedly followed by a sister, on which I found a tiny hernia, only minutes after handing her.

12 week old kittens are vaccinated, chipped and spayed nowadays and after getting assurances the little one had gotten the hernia repair sorted, I have agreed to adopt them both next week. 

Meet Weaver and Lily

String

 

And there it was tucked into the flap of my passport cover.

A small piece of black string perhaps 8 inches long.

I recognised it as soon as I pulled it out .

2019 Sitges 

Snogging a guy called Jon on the beach lounger

That was my one and only proper venture into a recent romance 

Four years ago now.

He was getting over a destructive gaslighting  relationship and was not only brittle and very sad, but had insight and an openness to new beginnings 

He was staying on another two weeks on his own. 

I was flying back the next day

And so pragmatic me saw it as a holiday snog, nothing more, a couple of days after we me

But he was tall and good looking and emotionally intelligent and 

It did me the world of good, even though I thought he was out of my league 

To be fair to him, he never gave that impression.

He tied the black string around my left wrist when we were curled up on the sun lounger

It should be red, he told me, in order to ward off the evil eye

Black isn’t as powerful, but it will do the job well enough.

I’m not a lover of bracelets, I can’t even wear a watch, but I liked it’s simplicity even though as a nurse I couldn’t wear it full time 

And yesterday there it was , curled up in my passport cover. 

Jon lives in Brighton with his new boyfriend now, they met the week after I left.

We all met up in London a few years ago, for a drink between jaunts. 

Jon looked happy, but his boyfriend didn’t trust me as far as he could throw me

And it was what it was

I’ve been wearing the string, as will do so until my next shift

Funny what you remember.

Hot & Sweaty

 I’m hot and sweaty

It’s humid and hotter than I’m used to recently.

Supervision this morning was useful, she’s making me think hard at other levels and I came out with a good headache. 

Walked Welsh on the beach then long chat with Sarah at the animal rescue about Weave. She wants me to review all of the kittens up for adoption, in order to select the best fit.

I didn’t have time today so Friday will have to suffice.

I went to Chester

Had pad Thai noodles at the market

Then treated myself to a one off showing of the 50th anniversary showing of Frances Ford Coppola’s The Conversation at The Storyhouse.

I’ve never seen this neo noir thriller and I enjoyed it even though it was a cold affair all told.

Got home late and talked to Nu in the car on the drive as the Welsh barked a welcome through the broken cat flap I need to repair before Weaver arrives

Old Friends and New

Time to share again, this time it’s the lisping Spanish Choir ( with their junior Choir),The Metropolitan Orchestra and the gentle Unidos Por Un Seuño by Alejandro Vivas.

I love the way the music and voices swell together.

A few days away from writing has been useful and allows for some perspective. 

I’m not hear to be insulted, or taught a lesion, or even to allow a benign old blog to become a school ground for silly bickering or personal attack.

Things will just stop if they’re need to and no messages will shared.

Like I said before, I have plenty else to do

Dear Pat from http://weaverofgrass.blogspot.com/ has said her blog goodbye in her usual diplomatic, and gentle way. She was blogging before me in the early 2000s and is a dear friend, I’ve never met. She has asked me to relay messages to blogland in order to update it on her condition and I am moved to be asked to do so. 

So today I’m back. The Spanish Choir’s piece today was first performed during lockdown and originally saw each performer in their own home, performing to camera . 

Was it 4 years now since we did that? With Mary and Albert in the background watching the proceedings with mild interest and some confusion.

Singing at full pelt, with earphones is a scary scene, even if you can sing well

Yesterday I went to the animal rescue to look at the cats. Only one potential caught my eye, and after some thought I filled in the show an interest on line paperwork last night.  

Most rescue places will physically check your home to see if it’s suitable, so I’m hoping for a phone call or email presently. 

The kitten reminded me of Albert when he arrived at Bwthyn y Llan. He settled in when I had three dogs on the go and the new girl has that same look. 

Scruffy and serious 

And wide eyed

I’ve been mulling over several names already but chose the right one as soon as I saw her.

If she arrives, as planned

She will be called Weaver

Be Kind

 I’ve turned off comments 

Yesterday the blog became ridiculous with immature, angry, and nasty reply’s  filling the comment boxes. These  can’t all be filtered pre post and most ( though not all) come from the same person. 

I’m not upset at the content of these posts ( they are easily enough deleted)  but I am a little tired and concerned  that the troll is escalating her output. 

I just don’t understand how someone can hate another person they have never met. 

And so I am having a break from GoingGently , not for long, as on normal good days the writing of a blog entry is such an enjoyable pastime.

I’ve got plenty to do

DeBrief

Mary, carefully waiting for her sausage to arrive

 If my counselling day is dull and cool, then I am getting into the habit to taking the Welsh with me. They are walked before hand, and patiently sleep in the car for the hour and a half I am away, after which it’s a walk on the beach and a shared sausage sandwich at Parisella’s.

I’ve said it before, but the beach provides a wonderful debrief for me, where the off shore wind, literally sweeps through my head like a new broom.

Mary, sits with me, bolt upright, careful to miss nothing.

Roger is pulling on the lead, trying to beg crumbs from the next table .

He’s succeeding to , 

I let my brain wash away from the sadness, of complicated lives, and of anxious thoughts 

And I watch my aged Welsh Girl patiently waiting for her part of the sandwich

Her old brown eyes, bright in the anticipation . 

And I realise, all over again, that I love her so very much

Over to the magnificent lisping Spanish choir

Have I ever told you that I went to Madrid to hear them live?

It’s them at their best with a love Matters Medley 

A Conversation

 “ I didn’t want to leave my brothers”

1989 Walkley, Sheffield

My father was talking about joining the RAF at the height of the War 

He became a navigator on a Wellington Bomber

I would have picked up on that statement now, and would have explored it.

Then, aged 27, it lurked just there

Hanging between us.

He died three months after visiting, 

Just three months

My father never spoke of his relationship with his father, 

All I knew was that his father was bad tempered, Scottish and old fashioned

When I was nearly sixty, I found out from an aunt that he was physically abused 

Typical of the first born in a family of three boys 

his abuse, protecting his younger brothers.

My father had no voice about all this

He never was shown how,

And I wish I known then, what I know now.

Then I would have told him that despite our own problems in the father/son timeline 

Just for the fact he coped and protected his siblings 

He was my hero

The Vulture

Daily, I try to read a vintage post. 

One that is at least a decade old, if not older 

This one amused me today 

It was written in 2011

The shed behind the cottage, has always been nicknamed "The High Dependency Unit" by Chris, who is almost always  exasperated by the fact that it always seems to be populated with some sick animal receiving treatment.

Today Theresa is the patient. Theresa for those that don't know is the turkey that turned up two years ago sitting quite comfortably thank you very much in the boot of car. I was asked by her owner if I could mate her with Boris to he could rear some turkey poults. I agreed and Boris duly "did the deed", but then the owner seemed rather reluctant to collect her again........and bless she kind of ...well...just stayed

Presently, Theresa has a bit of a bad chest, so has been receiving intensive tit bit therapy as well as oral antibiotics. She has perked up quite nicely, and as she is one lazy bird, I think she has actually enjoyed the rest and comfort of a quiet shed with everything "laid on" as it were.

To give her a bit of UV therapy first thing, I opened the shed door for a bit and went to have my morning coffee, and as the shed opens up to the lane,any occupant can be seen by anyone passing the cottage.

A while later,through the window, I spied a man with his son out walking. The boy must have been around seven and I could hear him chattering excitedly as they both saw Theresa sunning herself by the egg boxes.

"Dadddddd....look! there's a vulture in that shed" the boy gasped

The father sounded like one of those new-age dads..encouraging and gentle natured. 

"I don't think it would be a vulture Ben" he said "they can be rather dangerous"

"Is it an eagle then?" Ben asked

"I am not sure" Ben's father said making things up as he went along "It's not a bird of prey"

"What is it then?" Ben asked " a white pheasant?"

"No I think it is some sort of exotic bird" his father continued to bullshit and started to sound testy

"He's got a bald head" Ben said "like a vulture...I bet you it's a white vulture" 

"I don't think he's a vulture" Dad repeated with a loud dismissive sigh....

I couldn't resist it...

I walked out of the cottage, pretending to put out the rubbish and said hello as the two of them continued to lean over the wall looking at Theresa who now was asleep

"What's kind of bird is that" the father asked brightly?

I didn't hesitate

"It's a white vulture" I said with a smile.

Felipe

 The car goes in to the garage for a couple of days, so I’m marooned.

Before this happened, I shopped, ran errands and met my sister in law for lunch.

It was raining and humid when I got home and I found myself reading an article on King Juan Carlos and

Queen Sophia of Spain.

He was a bit of a dog to her by all accounts, 

I got enthralled in the Spanish Royal family and forgot to blog 

Silly me. 

I like Felipe, he is also an arguably more progressive monarch than Queen Elizabeth or King Charles In 2015, Felipe became the first monarch to appear on the cover of gay magazine, Ragap. The cover photo was in connection with a profile the magazine ran on King Felipe's progressiveness with regards to "homosexual, bisexual, and transsexual topics." That is not the first or only progressive move King Felipe has made in this area, though. He was the first Spanish head of state to meet with LGBT groups — and he did so during his very first week in office. 

Bloody lovely

I remember that I never mentioned the death of Donald Sutherland an interesting actor who became a firm favourite after shining in the likes of Dont Look Now, Mash, Klute and Ordinary People. 

As an old man, his best performance was in this scene as Mr Bennett in Pride and Prejudice. Underplaying Knightly and winning the scene

A few examples of what I binged on Netflix 

The Fox and The Dog

 

In 41 years nursing, I have done my fair share of nights. 

During that time, I have had one enduring memory of a favourite shift. 

This was at the Princess Royal Spinal Injuries Unit in Sheffield where I was the senior nurse in Charge of the four Osborn wards.

It was summer and around five dawn was bringing warmth and light to FirthPark, FirVale and Longly, the poorer parts of the Steel  city. The Northern General Hospital with its 1000 beds was located centrally, effectively separated  from the real world by a wall, railings and small copses of trees. Such a copse featured as the backdrop to the spinal unit and this morning I remember watching a Jack Russell Terrier play with an adult urban fox in the urban meadow formed by my buildings.

It was a glorious and intensely personal experience, seen only, I presume by me and I was captivated by the pair who chased and rolled and yapped and jumped around the small field together like puppies

Sometimes, an experience like that lifts the heart in its warm reality, and to this day I remember it as if it was only yesterday. 

The fox, magnificent in russet red, and the little white terrier, open mouthed smiling and breathless, frolicking as most of Sheffield slept on

Aladdin - Grupo Talía

Voice

 I always listen to my inner voice.

It’s rarely let me down even when it’s being fickle or playful or god forbid sexual in any way.

Yesterday my inner voice saw a guy in the supermarket. Broad and bearded like me, we held a look a millisecond longer than “ normal” and my inner voice told me repeat the process, which we did at the checkout where the hint of a smile was shared. 

In counselling that inner voice can can be useful, it can cut through, bullshit, or a lack of client awareness to the truth of a situation or feeling and like a benign basset hound, can lead you to psychologically sniff again at a certain spot, in order to clarify or to probe. 

At the hospice the inner voice will pick on the imminently dying, recognising that the light in a person being extinguished

We all need to listen to this voice when it is trying to protect us too.

The moment it makes us hesitate, to pause, to breathe.

It’s primeval 

Innate

And is there for a reason

Blood Red Geraniums

 

Trelawnyd is quieter today.

Well it is, down beyond the lane.

You can still hear the rumble of traffic on London Road, but it feels muted, allowing for bird song to filter through as well as the cried and shrieks of the children over in the school. 

I’ve walked the dogs down the lane to Graham’s fields and house martins ( only 6 of them mind you) are swimming the grass tops for insects. 

Through his fringe Roger is watching them and he sits. 

I pick lumps of moss from inside the dry stone wall of the field which I shall mulch around the stems of the geraniums.

Red geraniums are Spain to me

Of well looked after window boxes and of cheerful happy days of bright sunshine .

They lift the cottage out of its Welshness

And hint at a woman’s touch.

The old fragrant roses I planted a few years ago are doing well. The glorious yellow of the 1940s Ice Cream that my friend Colin gave me for my 60th hints at its vintage scent as does the Raspberry Ripple on the back garden arch

The wren that Janet bought me for this year’s birthday has weathered in nicely already, blink and you’d miss it as it stands guard over the back door. 

I’m making proper Chinese chicken and sweet corn soup for supper and have cut more yellow hawkbit from the lane to mix with Albert’s old catnip flowers as I let the stock stand . 

It’s good to have sun on my face