Love You

 It’s twenty to six! 

Jesus! 

I slept till 3 pm 

Grabbed a coffee and had 90 minutes on line supervision for all of my clients.

Tomorrow I’m counselling all day

I feel better than I did

Apparently I’m doing ok with my clients! 

Validation that I needed

On Friday I’m off to Wrexham to see Nish Kumar a well known British stand up 

Saturday is the annual Trelawnyd Male Voice Choir concert at the village Hall

Sunday lunch out with a friend. 

A nice balance now.

Suddenly it’s felt that it’s all or nothing 

I’ve been aware that I’ve been somewhat introspective of late, and I think that is true 

A trip to Sheffield has been put on hold because my theatrical friend John swan dived on a wet pavement ! ( ouch) a planned trip to Italy was put on hold by catheter issues

I booked to see Operation Mincemeat in London in December which made me smile, London at Christmas can be magical

But what I really needed today, was that virtual hug, that silly message, that comes out of the blue 

Saw this and thought of you……love  you x

I’m still here

 Oh bless Carol from Atlanta , she missis me! 

Alas I’m not in some faraway place 

I’m on my last shift of three 

36 hours working in three days 

Not much time but work, eat, shit , eat.

But today in my dreams, one’s laced with a sleeping tablet 

I Was the inside of the Sagrada Família 

Invisible

 

Do you ever feel insignificant ? 

I must admit I don’t very often.

But I did today, strangely enough when buttering a piece of toast.

The toast wasn’t the issue, 

Even though it was a German hard bread, 

The sort you have to run at to bite.

I was watching the Papal visit to France

His inaugural concert with thousands of smiling young faces, of fireworks and music

And suddenly felt very small

It was the same at the eye hospital when I read the happy boast 

We have seen 1328 patients this month! 

I was one of the 1328!

I understand the insignificance 

I’m not a part of any religion and I don’t want to be a part of an nhs statistic 

Late middle age is an invisible time too

It’s this why I wear t shirts with dinosaurs,on them? 

The German sent me a T shirt with a roaring T rex on the front 

“ Daddy-o-saurus” was the caption

I wore it today and only one person looked at it in the supermarket.

Sense and Sensibility revisited

Eleanor and Marianne

 I own the fact that I adored Ang Lee’s 1995 adaptation , with the gloriously amusing and heartbreaking Emma Thompson leading the charge. Of course Thompson was far too old for the role but she made it her own , as did Alan Rickman as the weary Colonel Brandon, an unlikely suitor to Kate Winslet’s Marianne.

It would be unfair of me to list all what was bad in this recent remake by Georgia Oakley, suffice to say that cinematographer Arnaud Poitier chose to film the whole piece with drab subdued colours, the antithesis of Lee’s Chocolate box version. 

Colonel Brandon 

I shall however underline what I DID like about this version .

The character of Marianne ( played by Esmé Creed Miles) was more flighty and fickle than Winslet’s Cupid’s bow version, I believed it more when her affections changed towards Colonel Brandon ( played rather well by the Norwegian actor ( Herbert Nordrum) and I loved how Nordrum gave the Colonel a sudden rush of temper and menace towards the sneering Willoughby( Frank Dillane), it made him rather dangerous and ever so sexy, unlike his 1995’s character) 

Mrs Jennings

Fiona Shaw recreated the wonderfully overblown Elizabeth Spriggs ( Mrs Jennings) wonderfully and gave this film its only real humour which was unfortunate as Fanny Dashwood, mr Palmer and  Sir John  were great comic asides in the “ original”

I enjoyed it, I must say It was worthy but a touch bland ,and I must also admit the choreography at the ball was abysmal if not bizarre . 

Bring back Thompson I say 

Dear Tom - The Germans

A funny day….the eye clinic this morning with a new, perfectly polite and precise German Doctor who was a dream . I may eventually go blind in my right eye but I made sure she knew her bedside manner was  exemplary. I came home , made more beef stew and completed some of my counselling tax returns

Hey ho

 Now Operation Mincemeat seems to be the slow burning musical winner in the west End and on Broadway .Based upon the British wartime ruse of tricking the Germans of the date and place of the invasion, it has MI5’s aging spinster Hester Leggart’s chatty letter to her fictitious boyfriend Tom which was placed in a corpse’s uniform pocket to give credibility to him and rank.

The letter has been crafted into a song which is possibly one of the most moving songs about loss and grief and war ever written, I hope you enjoy it 

Speaking of Germans my friend The German is in Austria 

I asked him to reenact Julie Andrew’s famous Sound of Music spin for me

And he did …..

Counselling going forward

 I have been qualified as a practicing counsellor for a year now.

That’s approximately 240 hours of client centred therapy.

Quite a lot, you may think, given the fact that said counsellor has been occasionally suffering from bouts of imposter syndrome during the past year.

I’m only just emerging from imposter syndrome and today was an example of feeling stretched and truly challenged as a professional counsellor as I was not only faced with a safeguarding issue which necessitated liaising with a host of medical professionals but had to deal with a client , I felt I couldn’t help in the way they wanted me to. 

You can feel somewhat isolated as a counsellor

You have to think on your feet,

You have to remain honest and objective 

And you have to be able to listen to that inner voice, the one that sometimes screams to high heaven 

When all about you is silent. 

I needed that challenge this week 

And I enjoyed dealing with it all in a professional, slightly stressed sort of way

Bake Off

I bought sunflowers from Aldi tonight.

They look cheerful in the kitchen as the autumn evening draws in. 

The Great British Bake Off starts tonight

Another signal that winter is almost here.

I’ve lit the fire as Roger is gleefully chasing a daddy long legs around the kitchen . 

It’s a habit William used to do with honey bees in the garden and it pleases me to see Roger playing the same games

Weaver is sat under my desk and has already grumbled at Mary as she ambled to the sofa to sleep her old lady sleep.

I’m counselling all day tomorrow so have put beef and vegetables in the slow cooker with stock , chillies and Worcestershire sauce…..beef stew is a great supper on an autumn night.

I will leave you with this video , which a friend sent me this morning , a memory from 2018

The best memory of an awful year…..thanks to you guys I raised 5 grand for Samaritans , even though I looked like Shelley Winters in a sleeping bag

Bullerengue

 My Spanish Lisping Choir has been going for many years. This is one of their early pieces and a bloody powerful one it is too. I loved its Columbian/ Negro Slave origins.

Lovely to see faces I’ve got to know , but oh so young! 

Enjoy.

This video is priceless. 

It also sums up my day 

As I was lifting Mary out of Bluebell , I dropped my phone

Roger jumped past me with me still holding his lead spinning me around

And in my fat, ungainly, 64 year old way 

I almost fell over 

I Staggered

Founced around 

And crushed said phone with a large plastic left foot croc ! 

Alas phone is no more! 

Fuckity fuck , fuck fuck !