Thursday, 22 August 2019

The Bum Deal

I went to the Storyhouse in Chester to see the 1974 Spanish/ Italian Zombie movie The Living Dead at the Manchester Morgue tonight
I should have known where the " special showing" was going when the two geeky looking middle aged men in front of me started a rather long debate about the Daleks in Dr Who before the screening started .
" I've seen that episode 50 times!!" I heard one chap say and I believed him
I walked out after thirty minutes of bad dubbing and felt awful as the organiser chased me and asked me if everything was ok.
" It's not the film it's me !" I told him as I left....I wanted to be kind

I video messaged a friend on the way home to have a moan , he was watching Guardians of the Galaxy in bed
I think he had the best deal


I'm in the process of sorting my life insurance out and foolishly put my details into one of those " we'll do everything for you" kind of websites this morning.
My mobile has been ringing out of it's tiny mind since.

I've rejected all of the calls so far as I am still drinking my bucket of coffee for the day sat at the kitchen table underneath a mound of paperwork, but they keep on coming! 

Finally, only a few minutes ago I answered the call!
I was all breathless and pretended to sound upset! 
Meryl  Streep couldn't have given a better performance

" Can you PLEASE stop calling my phone" I gasped....."I am presently lying face down and in a great deal of pain at the outpatients of my local hospital . 
I am having my haemorrhoids lanced and my doctor has requested I lie very still
Thank you"

That will make for a bit of amused gossip around the Basingstoke call centre

Wednesday, 21 August 2019

Thank You

Tarantino's ok and overlong movie
DeCaprio was very good though

It's been another hard day.
2 hours in the building society and everything IS going forward as planned I will have wait a bit longer to get everything signed and sealed but the mortgage has been agreed.
It's a sobering thought that when I was single in 2000 I had a large Victorian house and a mortgage of 30 grand
Now I am single in 2019 I have a cottage and a mortgage of three times + that figure!
Everyone involved seemed impatient with the whole process which didn't help
And afterwards I did what I do when real life gets a bit knotty

I went to the cinema

Thank you all for your concern xxx


When I was younger, so much younger than today
I never needed anybody's help in any way
But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured
Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors
Choir practice was a bit tougher than usual last night
Jamie ( sans his RAF 1940s moustache ) had us all grappling with The Beatles' hit HELP last night, which was somewhat of a challenge to most of us
It's such an upbeat song with a knotty downbeat message which I never realised before and halfway through our singing our oldest choir member , a retired Professor , gave us all an impromptu lecture of just how the song discusses the worries of aging.
" Research has proved that friendships in older people maintain independence " she told us at the end of her speech and the choir gave her a respectful round of applause before she sat down.

I feel a bit sick this morning
In an hour or so I am going to see the building society about my application for the cottage mortgage and I feel churned and out of sorts because of it all. Yesterday I went into the hospice and realised that the staff now know who my soon to be ex husband is. He had dealings with some of the academic life of the unit and in interview I was careful not to mention who he was.
Such gossip is perfectly normal I guess, but coupled with my worry about today, it wrong footed me slightly.

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being round
Help me get my feet back on the ground
Won't you please, please help me

Tuesday, 20 August 2019

First Aid

Around 4pm there was a sharp knocking at the lane window
It was Trendy Carol ( white blouse, natty informal skirt) who was all a bit breathless
Villager Susan had had a fall down the lane and could I come
" She's cut her arm rather badly" Carol reported before we turned the corner.

Susan was sat on the lane by Sailor John's house and looked rather shocked. Several people had already stopped to help.
There is a rule of thumb with any first aid " assessment"
Is the casulty conscious and rational?
Have they got pain?
and can they move normally?
Susan was apologetic, and had obviously banged her arm and shoulder. Her arm wound was bloody but superficial which I told her and she could wiggle her toes nicely.
People that potentially have fractured their hip can invariably not move at all and often have a shortened and rotated leg on the side of the fracture.
Susan's legs were fine.
I wrapped a tea towel around her arm and allowed her shock to dissipate and then
Carol and I stood her up when she was ready.

Over the years I, like most people, have been involved in scores of such situations. As a student nurse , I was always told to walk away from any incident if there was someone else who has taken charge but that takes a strong will as nurses have an ingrained pressure to go and help. 

I once saw a small crowd gathered around a large figure of a woman who was lying on the pavement outside Sheffield's City Hall. Several people were trying to take charge of the situation including a loud middle aged man who kept shouting " Rip her bra off!" somewhat unhelpfully.
Luckily the other bystander who had just started to administer CPR was stopped from continuing by the patient herself, as she let out a very loud "Get offfffffff" to all and sundry.

Thank goodness we don't really have to administer mouth to mouth anymore.
Ive done that several times in the past and I can tell you now that the casualties have never looked like Russell Crowe with breath as sweet as a nut.
I once had someone vomit directly into my mouth at an arrest situation in York and gratefully accepted the offer of a mouth wash gargle from a local sporting a bottle of Brandy!

Situations like the ones I describe, bring the selfless and the kindness out of people so very much.
Of course there is always a few people that walk on by but in the main, innate human concern and genuine selflessness take over .
A connection between humans I guess.

I remember, as a ward manager accepting an elderly spinal injury patient from our own hospital's
A&E dept. Getting a patient from our own hospital was a rarity, and the patent , who was in his
80s , had suffered a catastrophic paralysing neck injury following a fall in the street.
After several hours in the emergency department , the patient arrived, confused and incredibly poorly and I asked his daughter who accompanied him to wait in my office until we nurses took time to transfer him safely.
I noted his daughter had a large shopping bag filled with food.

The daughter wasn't a daughter.
She was just a passing shopper who had witnessed the man's fall some six hours earlier
She had sat with him as he lay paralysed in the street.
She had sat with him in the ambulance and  in  A&E
And she had accompanied him to the ward where he would eventually die of his injuries an hour after arriving .
The elderly man had no family and no next of kin
And that Stranger, a regular Yorkshire housewife, who had been out shopping for her family, sat with him and kept him company until the very end.
Now that's class....

Monday, 19 August 2019


Dan.   "  Are you free for a coffee?" 
John.  " When are you thinking of?" 
Dan.   " Are you free now?"
John.   " I can't now, I'm heating fish and chips in the oven and Mary's been stung in the gob by a wasp!"
Dan.    " Poor Mary.......Fish and chips? It's only 9.30 am....?"
John.    " It's for Trevor...he's got a frozen shoulder and hasn't eaten anything for 24 hours"
Dan.     " who is Trevor?" 
John.    " My 95 year old neighbour"
Dan.     " Fish and chips for breakfast that's a bit wacky"
John.     " It's what he fancied"
Dan.      " Where did you get fish and chips on a Monday morning?"
John.      " Sainsbury's"
Dan.       " With mushy peas?"
John.       " No regular peas!"
Dan.        " How awful!" 

Sunday, 18 August 2019


The hypericum flowers in the hedge of Della's bungalow have now died back and the vibrant yellow hedge that lit up the village like a torch has now gone leaving dirty mounds of brown petals on the pavement.
It's a sign we are slowly heading for Autumn
A real breeze is getting up and though the open windows the cackling of crows can be heard as they surf the wind above the trees in the graveyard.
The cockerels are quiet today, and I had to smile as twice yesterday a villager sought me out to say they were bothered by their crowing.
I'm getting better at deflecting moans and gripes than I was
I just smiled and said "You'll have to shoot them !" before moving on.

My Eagle carving by Colin Endres won second place at the show which was nice. Colin died a little while ago and to my knowledge never entered the show when he was alive.
I rested his certificate at the eagle's feet.
Winnie farted from her place on the couch.

Mary and I have already been for a walk and early Sunday morning the village is always deserted, like a film set .Winnie doesn't come for a village walk anymore  as her bulldog years have caught up with her somewhat. She sleeps the sleep of an old dog
One eye open, not against danger
but just in case she misses a cocktail sausage
She knows there is a small supply in the fridge!
I'm prepared for the enevitable now, it doesn't hold that cold shape fear for me anymore as it once did
The old vanguard making away for the new .....
The way of the world so many ways.

I've hated Sundays over the past year.
Horrid, empty days
But today I have a lunch date at the Black Lion at the mouthful Llanfair Talhaiarn with a old work friend, then I am training at Samaritans before catching up with Gorgous Dave, who is babysitting his kids later.
Being a single parent can be just as isolating as being a single middle aged old pongo!

Presently it's a bucket of coffee and The Archers

There is some talk of an Under Milk Wood night at the Hall.
With readings and reminiscences
I told Mrs Trellis yesterday as she sipped her tea primly at the Show.
She didn't seem overly impressed, I think she was miffed that she had reached the event late

Saturday, 17 August 2019

Flower Show

Terry unhappy at our draw

Terry beat me in the biscuits and I won the quiche , so it was a wash given our eggs and boiled fruit cakes were not placed.
We have sworn that next year we will fight to the death in the cookery section.
I have to add here that Terry is not my new boyfriend ( I have just been asked on messenger by an excited blog reader if he is! ) 

Wendy from round the corner won the cup...she can bake with one hand tied behind her back.

The Ressurected flower show has gone very well. Now Obviously, because of a hiatus of two years, the number of exhibits were lower than they were in our day, but the Show was impressive given that and the fact that a new less experienced committee was at the reins.
I really enjoyed entering...and actually won a cup for my vase of garden flowers!!!

I saw lots of people I haven't seen in a while,....I was especially moved when villager Alan W shook my hand and with much emotion told me that he was pleased that I was staying in the village
" you are well loved here" he told me over my boiled egg exhibit
And I believed him

The domestic classes

My garden flowers

The Women's Institute provided the refreshments!

Friday, 16 August 2019

Flower Show Eve

The kitchen looks like the Wreck Of The Hesperus 
I've been busy preparing my entries in support of the new Flower Show.

I've made a couple of novelty animals out of veg and fruit, baked buiscuits and a fruit cake and am presently waiting for my Quiche Lorraine to fly free of the oven. I will boil my egg entries and pick my flower entries tomorrow.
Tonight I'll pop up to the Hall to arrange my " art" entries.

Mary and I called up to the hall to see how the preparations were going, and everything looked calm and sorted . I am intrigued to see how many entries come in. 

Thursday, 15 August 2019

A " Tough" Crowd.

I'm behind Jamie, doing bunny ears! 

One table in our audience tonight proved to be , what is said to be in the trade, as a challenge!!!
It was the top right hand table , where all of the ladies ate their crackers and cheese without looking up!
Not once , during out first set!
That takes some doing when you are belting out You Raise me up at full effin pelt I can tell you!!
The rest of the lady golfers of Meliden seemed appreciative enough , well
all expect one old dear who looked semi conscious on the front row, but Jamie , as always, was his usual 1940s avuncular self and we all sang and enjoyed the night because we all love to please him and we all love the songs we sing.....
Btw, gentleman farmer, Peter, never commented on my new Sainsbury's trousers and lovely mustard coloured new top!
Hey ho
I've got to try a little harder

Sizing Up A Satsuma

I'm double booked.
I've got baking to do for the flower show which coincides with lunch with gay friend
I differentiate his sexuality only because I need to whip my sass up in readiness for meeting
He has more one liners than the indomitable Tallulah 
And so the Boiled fruit cake, quiche and novelty animal made from a butternut squash can wait until 
At least I've done the shopping in readiness. When I was sizing up the satsumas in Sainsbury's yesterday ( large ones can be fashioned into a passable snail btw!) I had an eye flirt with a man who was fumbling through the organic carrots. He is a nurse in A&E and I once took a patient from him in ITU who was very poorly many moons ago.....I remember he was cute but very  stressed.
I doubt he remembered me , but he smiled, which was nice.