Pause For Thought

 Many people grow up in difficult households. Those people often learn to read a room quickly, mainly because they have too. Because they have limited support, they learn to be as self sufficient as they can. They don’t ask for help, because help is not forthcoming . It’s simply not there. 

They do not trust easily. They can’t , so they soldier on often unseen and isolated. These are the children of a hidden abuse. They mask their hollow smiles, they can be loud and funny and therefore remain unseen. They are not victims because they’ve never acted as one, nor been treated as one.

They fall through the cracks.

This fact, alone makes this video so important 

Herd Mentality

I’m enjoying Celebrity Traitors but non but the murdered Bella Ramsey ( and perhaps the desperate Hannah Fry) have understood the phenomenon of herd mentality. The rest , over a dozen fairly bright celebs, are getting swayed by names thrown up as if everyone is an extra at the Salam witch Trials .

The one thing I’m proud of myself for, is that I’m not swayed by the mob.

I realised this early on , in life. 

I don’t bounce along with an hysterical concert audience 

I don’t scream chants at football games ( yes I  HAVE  been to one)

And I don’t panic in a crisis. 

And most importantly I understand the importance of standing back and reading the room 

 

Miranda Hart is my bet to be the saviour of the faithfuls 

Animal Review

Weaver is a vampire

 Bun has been gone for over two months now. 

She’s not coming back.

😔

Weaver only comes alive and friendly as darkness and silence takes over the cottage .

Only then does she playfully sits on my hip, or my catheter leg bag ( which is warm) or comes for a brief cuddle , eventually coming to rest in the arch of one of my feet. 

Daytime she sleeps upstairs, usually in a pile of untidy clothes , or on the orange cushion in the window seat of my bedroom.

No living animal ever sees her in the daylight. 

Mary continues to fade, rather like Lilian Gish did in Robert Altman’s The Wedding. She’s eating well, but does little more, but I was touched when she jumped up at the sky lesbian technician the other day, demanding a cuddle and marvellously getting one. 

Tonight she is asleep in my knee, coughing gently with pulmonary oedema. 

Roger remains the joy of my household 

He’s the new star of my daily gay man’s stream, with multi cultural screams of ooooooohhhhh and arrrhhhh from gay bears from around the world 

As I type this , he’s stalking a rather large household spider which has entered the kitchen through the broken cat flap , but is too frightened to actually pounce. 

He keeps my morale up with his gentle good humour 

Roger and his favourite plant pot

Take Heart

 I’m thinking of Yael today, and of Lee too. 

And stream follower Zachary in Tel Aviv got a message from me too as did Yael

Lee received a kiss , sent heavenward from the garden 

I do so miss her

We all know it’s the anniversary  of the 711 attacks

And most of us here want a lasting peace.

Today I streamed on a gay streaming site. 

Zachary joined in. He’s a bright  IT businessman  in his thirties with sharp witty asides to many a topic

The room had several gay men I know in it,; a polish actor, a doctor from the East Indies , an Englishman on chemo, a Spanish physio, and one of the last entrants was a Younger Palestinian student , who was living in Germany 

I was moved by one brief interaction between him and Zachary as the Arab said hello to the group, he typed a diplomatic and kind  “ Shalom” to all”, 

There was a brief gap in the correspondence 

After which the Israeli replied with an equally moving  “ As salamu Alaykum” 🌈                

It’s Tuesday already

 All of my counselling clients finished their sessions last week, so I thought I’d take 2 weeks off from a full day’s concentration. I worked last night at the hospice and won’t return until Saturday night

Tonight it’s relaxing in front of a coal fire with The Great British Bake Off. 

Little else to report. An old friend died over the weekend, which seems to be a sad and increasing trend in this life of a middle sixty year old someone….I was sad and reflective on Sunday….overly so with the gloom only lifted by a gift of dahlias from next door

Gina, the powerhouse who helped so hard in last year’s Christmas Show has been poorly too. I sent her some flowers on behalf of the TCA. I always use Bloom And Wild now because they deliver their flowers in a slim box through the letterbox. For some strange reason this always pleases me. 

I’ve bought tickets to see Ignacio Lopez at theatre Clwyd , he’ll cheer me up , we all need a handsome Spaniard in our lives don’t we? 

Ojalá tuviera un español guapo en mi vida.

The Trelawnyd Community Association Benefit Concert

 I was sat in the crowd for the first half so couldn’t film the mostly Welsh pieces, which were wonderful 

This piece is a famous Welsh Lullaby, I will post more pieces tomorrow but I will share with you these magnificent pieces. A lovely night and all Money to save our hall.

Bring Him Home from Les Miserables just for Cro

The choir had great fun with this one 

And to end the national anthem , I hope you can hear me singing 

Heaven sent

The village from the South East 

By villager David Hirst

 

Always be Nice To The Workpeople. Ps Traitors

 

Two engineers turned up this afternoon to replace the sky dish. The bloke , scouse and affable the woman , butch and very friendly. 

It was a juggle as their ladders were in the lane and the farm traffic is unpredictable . 

But as I kept plying them with coffee and custard creams even though they laughed at my 9 inch tv

So by the time they went ,they gave me free cinema watching credit 

Roger and Mary warmed their hearts with cuddles too

First episode of TRAITORS 

Richard E Grant is a National Treasure ( a male Celia Imrie)