No kittens today, I will collect them tomorrow.
Sunday, I heard that it was an old friend’s funeral today.
Not a case of bad news travelled fast
It didn’t.
I wanted to go and did so without reservation, this is the second such funeral I’ve attended
I’d dated David sporadically in the 1990s up to the Millennium but he was in the closet and my temper wore thin with secrecy . So I finished my relationship with him to date a more volatile and handsome Philip
Who was only slightly less closeted than David
It wasn’t a good time lol.
David and I romantically crossed paths only when I was single. When I was in a relationship my rules were always platonic and he respected that.
He was the last friend I had that still wrote proper letters
My last to him was only three months ago.
Our last meet was in 2022 at the Ibis Hotel in Chesterfield
I met his partner this afternoon. An old Yorkshireman with a ready but sad smile
“ I’m sorry , I don’t know who you are “ he said to me in the Crematorium line
“ an old mate from the 90s “ I told him
There were a few single guys my age dotted around I noticed, a few smiled when Laura Brannigan was played as the curtains closed
A sad post today, John. Don't know what to say, but wish I could give you a hug. I think you need one. Funerals are always draining. xx
ReplyDeleteYes I feel incredibly tired tonight
DeleteA short post , but I suspect a long back story .
ReplyDeleteI don’t think I would have gone but I have quite a few “Davinia’s ”in my history
Lee
Yes Lee, but a back story blurred by time
DeleteIt was very nice of you to make the last minute effort to get to David's funeral. It was long ago but he once really meant something to you.
ReplyDeleteMaster Pudding,
Deletekind words. I wonder if John now makes sure he has closure at times like these. As long as David’s partner was not hurt by the skeletons?
“An old mate” vague enough to be kind
Keith
Xx
Keith , I didn’t know David had a partner but he did refer to this chap as a close friend
DeleteYP
DeleteThank u x
How kind of you to pay your respects. I imagine this stirred many memories, of a time long ago. It's lovely that you stayed friends, and even wrote real letters. Condolences to his partner and family, and to you.
ReplyDeleteHe was perhaps the most amazing sexual partner I ever had
DeleteSteady !!!!!
DeleteA lovely thought to have of someone at their funeral.
DeleteI am sorry that your old friend is now gone.
ReplyDeleteHe was 64. Too young
DeleteIt does the soul good I think to be able to say goodbye to past acquaintances; romantic or otherwise. Glad you were able to go and pay your respects. I'm sorry a friend is no longer around.
ReplyDeleteI agree, it’s important to me to go to funerals generally
DeleteIt’s the last time you can officially honour someone
I'm glad you were able to go. Hugs to you. Out of curiousity (and you are welcome to tell me that I'm incredibly rude and refuse to answer) how old were you when you decided that you would not be secretive?
ReplyDeleteAround 1993 Debby and I was serious about it, Philip’s inability to be out , signalled the end of that relationship too ( amongst other things)
DeleteI really think that once you took that monumental step forward, being with someone who has yet to be able to do this is almost like someone tugging you backwards.
DeleteIt was a big deal and I thank u for recognising it
DeleteSorry for your loss. Your diplomatic answer to his partner's question was very kind. x
ReplyDeleteI had to hoof it, I didn’t know he had a recent partner
DeleteWell done for going.
ReplyDeleteRespect xx
If it was me, I’d want David to turn up
DeleteSorry about your friend David. Nice that you were able to go and say a last goodbye at his service.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear that a friend has died John. It was nice that you went to the funeral.... and, how lovely that you still corresponded. I still love receiving a letter. XXXX
ReplyDeleteHope you are getting a good rest - funerals are taxing emotionally and mentally. Warmest regards (and looking forward to kitten pictures and dear Roger's reaction!)
ReplyDeleteCeci
I'm glad you could go to the funeral no matter how many years ago your friendship was. A friend is a friend.
ReplyDeleteGlad Weaver and Lily will come home tomorrow,
Hugs!
A man who perhaps played a similar part in my life died this year, also at 64. There's barely a day passes that I am not astonished he's gone.
ReplyDeleteI hope your grief is easier xo
Saying a "proper" goodbye is so important I find. And a good funeral is a large part of that for me. That you still corresponded says he was still an active part of your life, not just of your past.
ReplyDeleteI wonder of David was a Roman Catholic? It is particularly hard for some of them to come out, as their faith is so adamantly opposed to sexual openness.
I, too, am looking forward to the advent(ures) of Weaver and Lily!
That one last final goodbye is important. i am sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid I can't do funerals. I always go to the church door, greet everyone, make sure I've been seen, then when they're all inside I head for home. I become too emotional.
ReplyDeleteI also struggle too with funerals, although I completely understand the desire to honour the life of your loved one and also closure. I'm glad you were able to go to David's and I hope you feel more rested soon.
ReplyDeleteA final goodbye is very important. You were very tactful with his partner, I'm sure he appreciated it. ❤️
ReplyDeleteGood that you were able to say a final goodbye (and that was a hell of an accolade to give in the comments!) Good, too, that you kept in touch. Hugs to you, these things are draining. Good luck with the kittens today!
ReplyDeleteNever easy. He was indeed part of your history.
ReplyDeleteAnd in retrospect an important one
DeleteI'm glad you heard about it in time to go to the funeral. It brings back many memories. xxoo
ReplyDeleteI was annoyed to be informed so late
DeletePossibly there was a reason for that.
DeleteI'm sorry. Losing a friend, especially an intimate one, has got to be hard.
ReplyDeleteWas "Gloria" the Laura Branigan song that was played? That's an interesting choice.
It was Steve , apparently it was his party piece karaoke
DeleteAh, well, it makes sense then!
DeleteI understand your need to do this. A dear friend has asked all the women from his past to consider attending his eventual funeral.
ReplyDeleteSome will go to ensure that he is actually dead.
I'll be there because despite all his flaws, I loved him.
I agree x
DeleteThese funerals as you have attend, are here too, Folks are passing to the HereAfter at a rapid pace, Its a sad commentary but age is creepiing up on me.
ReplyDeleteI have always liked your blog, I should read it more.
Thompson