I always listen to my inner voice.
It’s rarely let me down even when it’s being fickle or playful or god forbid sexual in any way.
Yesterday my inner voice saw a guy in the supermarket. Broad and bearded like me, we held a look a millisecond longer than “ normal” and my inner voice told me repeat the process, which we did at the checkout where the hint of a smile was shared.
In counselling that inner voice can can be useful, it can cut through, bullshit, or a lack of client awareness to the truth of a situation or feeling and like a benign basset hound, can lead you to psychologically sniff again at a certain spot, in order to clarify or to probe.
At the hospice the inner voice will pick on the imminently dying, recognising that the light in a person being extinguished
We all need to listen to this voice when it is trying to protect us too.
The moment it makes us hesitate, to pause, to breathe.
It’s primeval
Innate
And is there for a reason
Thank you John
ReplyDeleteAlison in Wales x
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DeleteI agree completely. At my age (66) I find myself reflecting back on my life and often thinking that mistakes I have made is when I have ignored my inner voice. - Jackie
ReplyDeleteAnother name for the "inner voice" might be instinct.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to sound nit picky but that's not my intention.
DeleteI always think instinct is innate, like the ability of a bird to migrate.
The knowing John refers to seems to be a result of accumulated wisdom?
I think it’s a mixture of both, we as humans have an innate ability to work out situations using learned information as well as something more prehistoric.
DeleteThe inner voice is a faraway touch with the self we hardly know
I agree John. Instinct is not fixed. It is informed and develops through experience.
DeleteSo did he follow you to the car, and offer to meet for coffee?
ReplyDeleteDid he hell as like
DeleteThis reminds me of the book The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker. It's all about listening to your inner voice when something seems "off" in your interactions with other people. A valuable read.
ReplyDeleteOne to look out for Jennifer
DeleteI totally am on board with the feeling of something being “ off”;, this feeling has saved many a person
If you're interested in the book, you can read it for free over at Internet Archive. It's available to borrow online under the Open Library part.
DeleteI will look tonight when at work
DeleteSo true. We can be drawn to one person, whilst another we instinctively shy away from. Nothing to do with looks or sexual attraction, just gut instinct. We ignore it at our peril.
ReplyDeleteI hope there was more than just a couple of smiles exchanged? Phone numbers, names? xx
And? What was the result of your shared smiles? Otherwise what was the point of blogging about it.
ReplyDeleteExactly. Like a lot of things on John's blog, they are more fantasy than fact. Have you noticed that most people who comment on here have never actually met him in person, but just like to believe it all.
DeleteAnd you would know?
DeleteHow many times have you met me anon?
Well I have met him. Added to what I read about him here, he is a thoroughly decent man.
DeleteAnons, I have been reading this blog for many years, I don't do so because "I believe it all" I do so because what John say's resonates with me and it's a very good read. First anon, what's the point of any shared smiles, it happens every day with me, it's part of who I am and the job I do. Personally you both sound like miserable unhappy nit pickers who have got nothing better to do. Why bother commenting if you so dislike what John writes in fact why bother reading?? Both ridiculous things to do to aggravate yourselves to the point of the bile that you spill.
DeleteMeanqueen wasn't your meeting with John just a few exchanged words outside his house when you turned up unannounced?
DeleteTo Ilona and John - anon has a strange obsession with E very little detail of John's life - it's weird x
DeleteIt seems like John's troll is also my troll. Very sad person indeed.
DeleteWell I have met John in person as well, on numerous occasions. At his place, at my place and at the annual Trelawnyd Flower Show ... what you read, is what you see in person and the guy you get in person is the same warm, articulate and thoughtful guy that comes across in the words he writes. There is no second side to John, just as there is no second side to me.
DeleteOoh Sue do you swoon when you see him and go all girly and giggly?
DeleteI have followed Sue for a long time. She was nice to me early on, but then I found out that she hates me.
DeleteSue is a lovely person, who loves her pets. She's not one who would leave an elderly arthritic little dog in a freezing house while blogging about being a meanqueen super scrimper who doesn't have the heating on. You Ilona are not in a position to criticise Sue.
DeleteAnonymous, you talk utter bollocks. Afraid to give your name.
DeleteJohn, I apologise for the trolls following me around.
DeleteIs the name Rocky familiar? A picture of the little terrier is still on your sidebar. Not utter bollocks. You posted pictures of yourself sat on your sofa huddled up in many clothes boasting that you didn't use any heating. The little terrier was elderly and had arthritis.
DeleteHow you can criticise Sue is the utter bollocks.
I'm not a troll following you around, I stopped reading your blog as I felt so sad about Rocky.
In future look at your own past actions before you criticise anyone else.
I remain anonymous because that is my choice of the options given when I comment. Many readers have made up names, your own for instance.
To Ilona - ( I have commented here because I see you have had to turn comments off again because of a troll ) I know you rescued Rocky - You gave him a wonderful life - even took him on holidays - You loved him and he loved you - If your house was cold - I know he would have been cosy himself as you would cover him with a blanket - My house is very cold and the dogs are very happy and cosy with fleece blankets - snug as bugs in a rug xx
DeleteHere you are again flis, joining in to anonymous comments. John gave you a very clear warning not to do that. What on earth is the matter with you that you have to try to stir up ill feeling on this blog? Why can't you mind your own business?
DeleteFliss why do you jump to the defence of someone you don't actually know except for blog content? The subject here isn't anything to do with you and as always you try to incite unrest between commenters. You are now addressing your comments to other readers (Lee, Ilona etc) in answer to anonymous comments in the hope of continuing unrest.
DeletePerhaps John hasn't read these comments as he did say anyone replying to anon would be deleted. You yourself have had many warnings yet you persist.
Totally John, sometimes it is the "knowing" without rhyme or reason, or "feeling" that is the most important thing in life. Life is just not black and white it is grey and other colours too. We all have innate gifts that vary from person to person, even those that project their Demons on others have something to bring to the table, although not the right to inflict their fears or problems on others. Finding one's people, Tribe or important friends in life those that understand you without speaking is meant to be - we just find things that are needed when we least expect them. A smile is a blessing that make's someone's day. Glad you had the blessing of a smile today x
ReplyDeleteTo look at the world in black and white, to me , is a dreadful waste. Sometimes to disappear into a simpler way of being is safe and clear cut, but, for me, is terribly sad
DeleteMe too John, as so much is missed and so much wastedxx
DeleteWoohoooo. I get that!
ReplyDelete😍🌈🇬🇧
DeleteMy problem is I have too many voices to listen to.
ReplyDeleteI get that too, and it’s an interesting concept where learned responses( not always positive) can get you into trouble
DeleteThank you, John. Wisely said.
ReplyDeleteIt’s an interesting concept isn’t it ?
DeleteI'm good at listening to my inner nursing voice that tells me when something is wrong. One time I had a young woman with abdominal pain. I ended up talking to her oncologist who was in the middle of surgery at another hospital, but I knew something was wrong, just didn't know what. The patient had a perforated bowel and had emergency surgery that evening.
ReplyDeleteAs for my inner voice that deals with me, sometimes it lies to me and sometimes I lie to it. Not as reliable sadly.
Good nurses develop a nose for a critical condition , I still see this daily
DeleteSo true. Paying attention to the little voice can save a world of regret. I have oly one little voice, thank goodness.
ReplyDeleteHugs!
Many people have multiple voices, some for specific situations and with their own responses , understanding they might not always be healthy responses is vital
DeleteSo did you slip your phone number in his grocery bag?
ReplyDeleteLol, no
DeleteIf I did, I would have failed too, as I never remember it
I m picturing this ''cute meet'' in a gay rom-com, hero bumbling around trying to find his own phone number in his contacts....///I am not intuitive, no inner voice so I won't comment on the main point of your post.
DeleteIt wasn’t a megRyan moment
DeleteMy inner voice - now my wisest voice, especially since I have done much healing through years of sobriety and counseling. Before that, my inner voice was kind of unhinged by fear most of the time, and felt that most things were a threat. I lived in fight/flight/fawn/freeze. Now my inner voice is calm and has clarity, and can tell the difference between an imagined threat, and a real one.
ReplyDeleteI liked this reply the most , thank you Karla , you have articulated the benefits of counselling and self awareness much better than I ever could.
DeleteWe are all creatures of responses and these are learned from childhood.
Thank you, John. Sticking with counseling long enough to get to the inner child work was not easy. My counselor is wise and kind, and created the safety and structure in which I could grow. I have a feeling that you will do the same for your clients.
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ReplyDeleteWe all have this inner voice, with the exception of one anonymous commentator here, who can only think in 2 dimensions and who hides behind psycho babble and cowardly anonymity
DeleteDid your inner voice become your outer voice and talk to the guy??? Inquiring minds ....
ReplyDeleteWhat do you think??? Lol
DeleteWell, you ARE the strong silent type....
Deletececi
I hear my dad's voice - He is the protective calm voice who reassures me during difficult times - The other inner voice I experience is a strong gut feeling - enough to make me heave x
ReplyDeleteThis came at a good time for me, so thank you. I have been questioning my inner voice and whether I can trust it.
ReplyDeleteI have always figured that humans have more than the senses we are aware of that evolved long ago when we needed them for protection and knowledge- which we still do. People who seem to be very prescient just have more highly developed senses in this area. At least that's my theory.
ReplyDeleteIt's an age thing. Learn as you go along. Listen to your gut instincts. Four years ago something told me to wait and see what happens next.
ReplyDeleteYou should have stopped once through the checkout to see if he looked back as he passed you by.
ReplyDeleteI equate the voice you speak of as the gut feeling. Reading people is a very useful skill. Did your grocery store glance result in coffee or name/phone exchange? I once met a great guy in a line waiting for ice cream. Chance meetings can be very good.
ReplyDeleteI have just finished a book which is probably relevant to listening to the "inner voice". It's called "Fully Human" by Steve Biddulph and I found it really useful. If you haven't already come across it then it might be worth adding to your reading list for if you have time in the future.
ReplyDeleteSo interesting reading the comments here today too.
You need to go to the same shop again next week....same time . If he is there......do more than smile ...say Hello?
ReplyDeleteI was always doubtful of my intuition....and paid for it.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I started going with my intuition..when I'm brave enough it gives me a future and happiness...however brief
Frances makes a good point...
ReplyDeleteWhere straight-acting guys in places you expect to see straight-acting guys are concerned I have a force field in place no inner voice can shatter. Safer that way.
ReplyDeleteIn my work as an advocate for sexual assault survivors, I always spoke of that inner voice that senses something off and the need to respect and rely on this intuition. To me, this voice is an empowering resource.
ReplyDelete