I have just re watched the film The Impossible
A story of the Boxing Day Tsunami
This scene broke my heart just a little
Tomorrow my bubble friend Ruth and I will be watching Central Station more sobs xxx
What Day Is it?
It’s cold in Llandudno too and the Goats are down in the town again
I’ve been busy on line shopping
New chew proof leads for Dorothy
Underpants x 6
Some zombie dvds
A footstool
A hand blender
I paid my speeding fines on line too
Spoke to an old friend who is poorly
Read some more of my book
And realised I have absolutely nothing to talk about
Snowdrops
It’s a soup day, butter bean and chicken with paprika .
After three consecutive twelve hour shifts, I had a lie in with a book this morning, then walked the dogs, shopped and photographed the churchyard snowdrops before the cold ushered me back to the cottage in order to light the fire.
Incoming
“ You have to be kidding”
I managed to leave out the fucking in “you have to be FUCKING kidding”
But it really DID deserve to be inserted there as I stood for a mini second with urine in my face, urine seeping under my mask into my mouth and eyes and all across my head.
The patient and the nurse-who had forgotten that she had left the urine standing inside a covered bedpan looked at me open mouthed
I lost my usual bouncy sense of humour and bolted to the sluice where I ripped off my sodden mask and washed my face and hair
Urine in open eyes and mouth is the equivalent to a needle stick injury and has to be taken seriously
After a shower, a failed blood taking effort by the hospice doctor, a long talk to occupational health and cup of hot tea, my sense of humour slowly started to reappear.....just !
Once I nursed a psychiatric patient who would intermittently delve down his pants , grab a large and rather wet turd and fling it at the nearest nurse.
The staff would get used to the melodramatic warning cries of “incoming !!” as turd left hand and a blob of brown hurtled through the air of the ward like a smelly hand grenade .
* photo of Dorothy tonight , sleeping in front of Trendy Carol’s log burner
A Dialogue
My husband left back in the summer of 2018....three years this summer and I’ve been thinking for a good while now that I was still a bit stuck with the anger of how he left rather than the why he left.
I’ve already written about my recent approach to his mother where hurts were put to bed so it only seemed Common sense that he and I finally had a dialogue of sorts sans blame and anger.
The impetus for me to initiate the contact came from a recent video call I set up with a dear friend who has a cancer. He had lost considerable weight since our last meeting and I blurted out the fact as soon as I saw him......like a broken hearted loon . Our conversation ,as conversations always do with friends that are deeply loved, then descended into gossip and chat and laughter but the call left me with the aching reminder of the fragility of the every day and underlined the pointless nature of prolonged anger and hurt when a relationship goes south.
The dialogue I had today with my ex husband The “ Prof” wasn’t prolonged, but it was to the point. It was honest and most importantly .....and by celebrating the good times ......it was mutually kind.
Time to swim on.........in that big river......
From Now On
Some lovely welsh voices for a Sunday
6 am and off to work
Just bumped into Mrs Trellis who was out with Blue
It is very cold and she had her usual tall babble hat on and a matching super long scarf
She told me that she missed Church so very much
The cockerel is still alive and crowing lustily from the graveyard
I told her
Blossom of snow, may you bloom and grow
Long day
Home at 9 pm
Listened to Christopher Plummer in the dark, as I ate homemade soup
.......Now Off to bed
Lazy Blog today
I found this video
Mary is now the only survivor
Bittersweet to watch again
Fancy A Chat?
Hello,
Let’s have a chat.
I’ve been out for a long walk hoping for a chat but strange as it may seem, I didn’t bump into anyone I knew.
The walk was so long that half way through Dorothy had a mini gay-man’s flounce and sat miserably at the back door of a parked car in the blind hope that it was Bluebell.
She’s only just forgiven me now, and that was after the fact I let her lick the eggy bits from my Brunch plate.
Yes people as part of my diet I only have Brunch and Dinner now and alongside a reduction of alcohol and eating crap after 6 pm at night. It seems to be working
Well....I had to do something , my underwear drawer needed a mercy killing initiative.
Stretched to buggery and with too many holes.
Thank god for Amazon.
As Mrs Doubtfire would say
So in these final moments of lockdown I am polishing those tarnished bits of me, I missed when pulling up my bra straps over the last year. Something, I think we all do, when there is a whiff of spring in the air and the weak sun, warms your bones when out with the dogs.
Takes a long sip of coffee from my trusty bucket
I’m feeling happy today. Happy with my new resolve. I’ve started to read the 20 books collected and stacked on my new ( ultra trendy John Lewis) side table and I’ve started the first of my on line courses which remind me I still have a brain and the capacity to debate.
............phone rings ...I answer
I’ve returned after a long phonecall from Nu which was as invigorating as an icy plunge in the sea. We haven’t physically met for a year and we are now making tentative plans what we will do when we can...more adventures afoot more laughter ahead.
Blogland has settled down too, with less troll activity spoiling the chatter and it’s nice to feel more kindness and less game playing around........oh and as I’m talking about blogs .....
Go visit Libby at
https://libbysaidok.blogspot.com/ her new blog needs a few virtual hugs of welcome
I’ve just video called my friend John in Sheffield. We discuss Hitchcock at length, it’s one of those conversations we used to have over too much red wine in All Bar One.
I miss him
Time for a coffee refill
Bloody hell it’s 2pm ....I’m working the next three days so I have jobs to do.
Operation dog snot removal, more sooty cobwebs to scoop up, ones I missed last week.
I’m glad We’ve had this chat.
I will leave you with a photo of the primroses I planted by the front door.
They are optimistic and cheerful and mirror my mood
Enjoy them
Hitchcock
Had my first lecture from the The City Literary Institute tonight on The Master of Suspense:Alfred Hitchcock’s Spy Thrillers. It’s an eight week course which, from my first experience , seemed very interesting and stimulating
It’s nice learning stuff just for my interest only and not something confined to work it’s a bit like pampering yourself with a long bubble bath and a facial
It’s the BIG GAY QUIZ tomorrow night
At this rate I’m going to be all zoomed out!
Sunset Phonecall
Was it five years ago?
I think it was.
Sunset on a summers’ night and a phone call from a stranger.
He was sat in a car, near a beach and it was clear he had been crying.
I could tell he was young, perhaps thirty.
He had a clear English accent almost devoid of local lilt or twang.
He told me he was a teacher but refused to give me his name.
I worked so hard on that phone call.
I kept him engaged and I listened.
And he talked so sadly about how he felt and how much he wanted to die.
His class had scored poor marks in their A levels and he felt a failure.
He had felt a failure all of his life.
For an hour he talked and he even laughed when I asked him to share with me what music he had listened to in the car.
He didn’t know that I was sensing I was losing him and that I was playing every trick in the book to keep him talking.
I heard him open the blister pack of tablets and he admitted he was piling them on the passenger seat
My colleague mouthed are you ok from her booth and I shook my head. She came over to listen on the spare headset and jotted down ideas to help.
They helped, the man talked a little more.
We talked about the nice things in his life, his friends, his family but he grew sad when the sunset finished and he told me it was almost dark.
I asked if we could call him at another time , to support him, to listen, but he refused politely
I listened as he took a few of the pills.
And he cried a bit more
Before gently ending the call with a click.
My colleague blocked all further calls and brought me a coffee and a hankie and
I ate some chocolate digestives and I cried a little
Cried in frustration and for the futility and waste of it all.
I will always remember that call
Loyalty
There is one thing you have to know about me and that is the fact that I am always very loyal .
Totally so.......
Loyal to romances
Loyal to friends, to my family
And loyal to my obsessions
The Walking Dead returns this month for a final flourish !
I’m so excited
I’m wearing my fifth best Walking Dead T shirt tonight in anticipation
It has soup dripped down the front
In true form
Carol and Daryl have almost made it to the end ....
Who would have thought?
Heaven Knows
I had my first ordinary flu jab yesterday evening and had a surprising reaction to it ( I had never had one previously)
Last night I felt rather poorly, lots of aches and pains and a banging headache.
I had a lie in, took paracetamol and am feeling more human today.
John Huston’s Heaven Knows Mr Allison is playing on TCM with Mr Mitchum at his sexy masculine best
One Is Fun
Back in the 1980s my mother, thinking she was kind, bought me a copy of Delia Smith’s One is Fun cookbook.
I was mortified .
She might as well have accused me of being the last spinster in the parish
How sad I felt.
Tonight I decided to support the village pub with their takeaway initiative and ordered myself a minted lamb burger with a side of macaroni cheese.
“ Is that the order in full?” I was asked professionally
“ Yes it’s just me “ I replied suddenly feeling like a right sad sack
Another singleton of the parish.
Do you remember that episode of Sex And The City when single Miranda felt judged by the Chinese takeaway lady?
I was reminded of that today
The meal was expensive for a treat for one, but it was a treat and I’ve got enough macaroni for supper tomorrow .
The food was bloody delicious
But I did feel a bit like a sad sack
Cobwebs and kindness
I’ve only just finished sucking up the sooty Miss Haversham cobwebs from the beams in the living room.
Smoke leaves everything foul smelling and grimy.
My chimney sweep turned up today to help sort my mini crisis out.
It was his day off but he troubleshot the problem and kindly worked out that there is a kink in the lining of my chimney which has been constricted by tar.
He cleaned the chimney yet again and I’ve set up special cleaning logs to loosen the residue.
As he beavered away and I cleaned everything in sight my sister turned up and tidied up the front garden. She’s wavered her fee asking me to put it towards my speeding ticket charge which arrived today
200£
Bollocks for the ticket but big thanks to her and again big thanks to the chimney sweep who helped on his day off
I met Chic Eleanor for a walk , she started to teach me mindfulness
Smoke
My chimney blocked again tonight
Yeah right..........just after I got home after a long day and I lit the log burner!!!
As the cottage filled with smoke
I opened the door and windows to let out the fumes and went into the kitchen to hide as the temperature dropped to just above zero
I sat in the reading chair, with the dogs and Albert jammed all together on my knee and I covered us all with a wool throw as we listened to radio 4
My family
A feisty Welsh terrier, a sad bulldog with issues and a wide eyed black cat with a deformed leg
And we sat together in the warmth of my reading chair
Four souls
Together
Near Miss
I got off shift early yesterday and took some time owing
I rang the vets before I left work and organised they leave me some medicated shampoo for Mary .
The weather has been extraordinary wet of late and I drove up through unfamiliar roads to the country practice and hit a flooded piece of road along a deserted stretch .
Bluebell aquaplaned on the slick road and veered across the road with her backside into oncoming traffic and we slid for what seeming like an age before sliding the other way and eventually stopping on the drivers’ side verge with a loud bump.
I checked for damage and could only find a few strands of grass sandwiched into the bumper
I was still shaking by the time I got home twenty five minutes later and I’d only just walked into the cottage when there was a knock at the door
It was my neighbour Mandy with cake wrapped in silver foil .
“Thought you could use some”
She said
And I said I really could
I ate the cake with a coffee , in a silent cottage
We are all a fraction away from that accident which could change our lives forever I thought
to myself as I ate the cake whilst still in my coat.
Hotel Mumbai
It’s bucket of coffee time before a 12 hour shift and I didn’t sleep well.
It’s a while since a film has given me nightmares ( United 93 was the last) so I should not have been so surprised to find out that Hotel Mumbai had done the same.
For those that don’t know Hotel Mumbai is a fictional depiction of the Islamic terrorist attack on the prestigious Raj Hotel in Mumbai in 2009. The hotel was effectively put into a siege by six heavily armed terrorists and for days those terrorists systematically killed as many guests and staff members as they could before being defeated by special forces flown in from the capital.
This film isn’t an exhilarating Romp Die Hard style.
It is a visceral, very real cat and mouse drama where the protagonists spend most of their time hiding under tables and in cupboards until their captors corner them.
In once scene an elderly house maid is shot sat on the lavatory in the bathroom where she is hiding whilst in another the hotel receptionists are forced to ring the guests in their rooms telling them to come out to be saved by police who are not there.
The film depicts the courage of many of the Hotel staff who stayed behind to protect their guests, but it’s a real and downbeat film which underlines the savagery of the indoctrinated.
It game me nightmares ..... hey ho...off to work
Trim
Needs must.
Mary had a haircut this morning. She will also have a shampoo once the knots and clingons have been removed.
Mrs Trellis spied her through the lane window and mouthed that she was going quite mad due to lockdown.
I’ve made spiced butternut soup ( before the clingon removal ) and this afternoon will watch the movie Hotel Mumbai
Tonight it’s the big gay quiz and I’m working all weekend
So that’s my itinerary
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