Knives Out (Spoilers)

Director Rian Johnson is reportedly a huge fan of Peter Ustinov's 1980's cinematic Poirot, and so it seemed unsurprising that he would pay homage to the genre by creating his very own movie whodunnit in the shape of the entertaining and rather good quality Knives Out

Knives Out has the crime novelist patriarch (Christopher Plummer) apparently committing suicide on the night of his 85th birthday. All of the guests at his birthday party have good reasons for wishing the old guy dead, and his visiting and reassuringly dysfunctional family are all played by a delicious selection of Hollywood elite ,
We have Don Johnson, Jamie Lee Curtis ( on fantastic scene stealing form)  and Michael Shannon playing Plummer's high achieving children whilst Chris Evans and Toni Collette support as evil grandson and dippy daughter in law respectively.
Only the family nurse (Ana de Armas) seems innocent, a "fact" which is overturned as the plot takes on a twist after twist when a famous detective Benoit Blanc ( Daniel Craig) mysteriously turns up in the big dark family house to interview the suspects.

Like I said it's an entertaining romp which zigzags nicely between laughs and tension, and the final " arhh haa!" moment is clever enough for most of the audience to enjoy with gusto even though I was slightly let down by who eventually did it!
Unfortunately Craig is no Peter Ustinov - he simply cannot command respect and interest in the main role and his miscasting as the detective ( and almost bloated continual close ups ) almost ruins the film.
Thank goodness for Jamie Lee Curtis . I won't be at all surprised if she doesn't win an oscar for best supporting actress as her few scenes as the straight talking bitter business woman daughter are a delight to watch.

My Life Is A Movie

Jamie ( centre) with our choir

Tonight our choir was asked to perform in a charity concert in a school down on the coast.
We were booked to perform six songs, three in each half of the concert and our slots mirrored the ones of another local community choir whose conductor had organised the evening.
The finale was a selection of Christmas carols sung by both choirs.

I know we shouldn't of...but the general consensus from my fellow choristers made it clear to me that there was quite a large good natured rivalry between the two choirs.
I guess it was natural for us to want to be the best choir on the night.

Ring any bells?
Yes, The Gwaenysgor Community Choir suddenly entered the cinematic world of Whoopie Goldberg's Sister Act II - Back in the Habit with Our Jamie with his 1940's RAF moustache playing the flamboyant Delores Van Cartier ! 

We had a worrying start as our rival choir looked so effin smart when they took their places!!!
They were dressed in black, all the ladies with matching appliqué flower trim on their blouses. The men wore natty red bow ties and waistcoats and the whole ensemble stood well rehursed and neat in front of their matching conductor who waved her baton with confidence and power!

As the choir took their places , our motley group looked at each other nervously as we were all dressed in a mismatch collection of coloured shirts and dark trousers. But we need not have worried as when it was our turn ( when Jamie wiggled his arse towards the audience- something he does when conducting) we knew our more eclectic performance had worked some of its usual magic

My twin sister Janet loved his wiggle..as did Chic Eleanor and my friends from Conwy who had come over to see us perform and in the end both choirs needed a pat on their backs as comparing us was really like comparing apples to oranges! We both did very well
On her way home, Chic Eleanor flipped her pashmina and purred " Darling John Your conductor's buttocks are simply amazing!!"

After a bit of reflection  I think our Finnish Reindeer clapping song swung it for us in the end.

Not the Reindeer song but our Welsh one x

A Golden Gift

The cottage phone went around 8 pm last night.
It was neighbour Mandy
" I have a scotch egg for you" she said seductively " I thought you could have it for your lunch"
She popped the egg over the kitchen wall a few minutes ago

It looked magnificent on it's plate 

The Best Christmas Card ....well one of them

It has to be this one which arrived today

A big cocked Santa ! 

I'm still judging!!!

A Blog Christmas Card🎄🎄🎄

🎄

It's a quiet night so far at the hospice.
I've just written my Christmas cards and wrapped them into elastic banded bundles ---ones to hand deliver and ones to be posted.
The number of posted ones seem to diminish in number every year
I've just done a check of all of the patients with my trust pen torch....not so much The Lady of The Lamp .....more like The old fart with the torch.....
Everyone is peaceful and sleeping

Now...It's time to send my generic blog Christmas card
I picked the above photo because I think it sums up the past year for me
A bit sad, a bit emotional but a bit hopeful....
( BTW I did try to add two Christmas hats to the photo but got somewhat befuddled with the software!!)

Say what you will about the content of Going Gently ( And I have plenty of knockers!!! [ ohh arrhhh missus!]) I am constantly amazed that so many people pop in from time to time to read the ongoing saga of a middle aged Welsh homo and his eclectic brood of friends, fellow villagers and pets.
It's been a somewhat one sided year...one which has been noticeably lacking in humour, but I think I have hiked up the old bra straps and have raised, at least , a few titters along the way.

Thank you all for your contributions , support, humour, challenging, occasional bad temper, postcards , art works, questions and most importantly your kindnesses over the past year.
The blog has been a strange source of therapy for me, And it's weird to realise that so many people are occasionally plodding alongside as I trundle through life of a middle aged, newly single poof who is just getting back onto his two hairy and often aching legs again.

So I am wishing you a very Happy Christmas from Trelawnyd
I hope it's a good one for all of us....
Thank you for being there over 2019
And as the Golden Girls theme put it so eloquently
Thank You for being a friend.

Friday

I have now turned my car radio to radio 4 now on my morning commute
I cannot abide the all-too-early Christmas songs blaring out
To me Christmas songs on the radio should only start around the 20th

I'm on a one off night shift tonight...
My friend John from Sheffield rang me earlier and told me to get my Christmas lights up
" You need to get yourself going!"  He said kindly

The postman gave me a shove in the same direction when he dropped off a bundle of cards
He's a new postie who looks a cheerful soul,
As did the cards he delivered

Lights

Lord
I went to bed before 6pm last night and woke up at 6.30 am this morning
I was tired and unwell
Dorothy was performing a rather frantic cross legged CPR before dawn in order to wake me
But I needed to sleep
Long and hard.

I am aware I've not seen much of the village, or indeed anyone but work people for days and days now, and so during a blustery and cold teatime Mary, Albert and I ventured out to blow away the cobwebs and to see the Christmas lights. Albert didn't last long, he returned home after the gales whistled hard through the Churchyard Yews , but Mary dug in and lowered her head against the wind, and like the terrier she is, she pushed on bravely with me as I pulled my scarf around my face.

We stopped first at the old police house who always put on a good show of lights and winter animals, they didn't disappoint but you have to venture up their drive in order to see everything!
The village Hall's impressive Christmas tree swayed madly and looked sweet  but the award for the best show must be awarded to Wendy and Mervin's covered Cherry tree
Simple but effective

I passed the Randa's bright little house in the centre of the village and it's cheerfulness reminded me that I need to buy the Randa girls some Christmas decorations .
It's a silly tradition that I've done for a few years now.
I would have led Mary all the way up high Street to look down on the village from above but the wind was gusting like mad and a Shepherd's pie in the oven was calling me gently.

As we turned down Bron Haul and headed back towards the Church
Mary quickened her pace towards home

Matt Alber

Working today
So enjoy Matt alber

A Year Ago...William

Sweet William
Click on the above line
This was a year ago!!!
He's second on the left
I do miss him

Wreck Of The Hesperus

"She's a sweetie!" 
So crooned the new vet at the surgery after I had lifted Mary onto his examining table
He has floppy hair and looks like a Greek god
I had a snotty nose and had tomato sauce dripped down my jumper
"She is !" I agreed, mesmerised by his gleaming teeth
The vet touched my hand by accident as he moved her harness in order to look into her ear.
And I jumped as if electrocuted
He said something vaguely funny
And I laughed a too loud a laugh like a loon!
And inwardly I laughed at myself  for doing so.

Half an hour later I was in sainsburys and I bumped into an old friend from Intensive Care
" You look rough" he said
" A mixture of long shifts and looming decri absolute" I told him
I bought provisions and ended up at the till of a cashier I have a kind of man crush on
The cashier always blushes when I speak to him
I still had a snotty nose and tomato down my front
And I did look rough as a bear' s arse!
He didn't blush much today I noted

Although I couldn't really afford it, I bought a Christmas wreath from Sainsbury's
My cashier told me it looked nice.
It was my turn to blush

I've put the wreath up on the front of the cottage when I got home
Mrs Trellis coooeeed as I did so
She was walking Blue who was wearing a matching red coat to hers
" You look tired " she trilled " Are you on night shift?

Hugs

I hugged a patient goodbye today
It's a common thing for hospice staff to do when their patients go home
Contrary to expectations
Many patients get to go home

In my experience there are two types of hugs
The first is the polite hug. The hug of affection that perhaps lasts only a second or two
It's heartfelt and warm and sometimes unexpected !!

For many hugs are rare as hen's teeth

The second type of hug is the bear hug. That long, long hug of need and want
The kind where back slaps tighten into embraces that hate to be opened.
The all enveloping hug

Tonight I came home to a dark ......silent cottage
And near empty, in my psychological  reserves
I sat and cried sad selfish tears for a short while

Moments later the dogs arrived home,
In a blast of hairy, goggle eyed  Bon viveur !
And bulldog and terrier hugs commenced in earnest
Big, fat, long fuck off bulldogs and terrier hugs

How lucky am I ?

The Best Agony Aunt Question

Dear Deirdre

I am 29 and have just had my first period?
Is this normal?

Best wishes
Dave ( Bristol )

Chic Eleanor and a bag of chips

Living in the big house, East of Trelawnyd, Chic Eleanor has been pretty quiet of late.

We have two mutual friends who live in a nearby walled town of Conwy so today went to meet them.

The venue, the Art Deco real ale pub The Albion  was a place Eleanor had never been to before, but she was game and walked into the public bar with a swirl of her lovely pashmina

She stopped short when she saw the little puddles of dogs all sat at their owner's feet ( the pub is a renown doggy pub) and she beamed

" Darling John.....the. Dogs!!! Look at all of the dogs!" She cried

And she went around the tables saying hello to each one.

I love this about Eleanor

Her ability to find joy in the simplest of things.

We met our friends Sara and Pask in the snug and put the world to rights over a few beers and when the subject of dinner came up, I suggested chips on the little seaside quayside that borders the east of the town.

Eleanor beamed again 

" Darling.. chips, mushy peas and gravy sound absolutely divine" 

and with a swirl of classy cologne she led the walk across town 

And we ate our chips on the little harbour wall overlooking the estuary in the dark!!

A late thought over tired feet

One of my favourite patients died early this morning.
It wasn't the only death we had to deal with today
Her husband returned to the hospice later in our shift
And the staff quietly gathered in a respectful and impromptu vanguard to say their goodbyes to him and his family
His reaction was terribly moving

I work with some incredible people

Kissed on the cheek

Billy wilder said of her
" God kissed her on the cheek and there she was,..."

Deeper......Deeper

My recent foray into hypnosis has been met with a limited success
The therapist involved made the mistake of thinking it was a panacea to all of the ills they thought I was suffering from
I hadn't thought the offer of one off session through enough
The sadness of my impending divorce made me needy enough just to give it ago.
Their blind belief in the power of their therapy pushed them into offering

Now I'm left with the feeling that I've let them down as the suggested and expected eureka moment just has not materialised and this in turn has made me feel let down and frustrated
Feeling let down is something I don't do very well.....
I wondered if I had actually been hypnotised at first, as I was very aware that some post had been pushed through the letter box and a dog in the kitchen was scraping his nails on the laminate flooring!
But the longer I sat there, the more convinced I was that I had indeed moved into some parallel state.
One of relaxation
But nothing really more.

The eureka moment didn't show itself during the session, nor did it arrive after it

A salient lesson for both of us I guess 

A blog from a decade ago.....

I wrote this when I was on fox watch a long, long  while ago, and have only just remembered I saved it on the laptop...

It was written ten years ago

I hope you enjoy it

........It is 8.30 and the evening remains warm, dry and quiet. I am sat under the elm which borders the Churchyard and from this advantage point I can see every corner of the field. No sightings of Mr Fox as yet!

George is sat quietly in Maddie's old spot at my feet and the Welsh terriers are tied up next to the water butts and look asleep in the evening sun. Everything seems calm and serene.

The pace of the animals is slowing down in preparation for the night. The four female turkeys have separated from their daytime meet up and in two groups of two are ambling slowly towards their respective stags. Jane and Lizzy (the slate and Bourbon girls) make their way down towards Bingley in the far pig house and Gloria and an almost bald Theresa wait patiently just a few feet away. They know I will be shortly moving them into their shelter with Boris, who is still huffing and puffing away in the back ground.

The indian runners stand uncertainly just beyond the turkeys. They are eyeing me nervously and are also waiting for me to direct them into their duckhouse. I am late tonight and they know it............. and I am just that little bit amused that it seems to bother them.

The hens are all gliding their way to their own hen houses in groups of two and three. The buffs swinging their fat bottoms as they walk heavily home. The only birds that don't move home wards are the six battery hens in the furthest coop. They remain still and silent in a sad looking flat group in the warmth of the sun, yet the very fact they have all taken the chance to leave the safety of the hen house proves to me that at least the natural light and heat they now feel is in fact healing.

The two new foals in the field beyond the stream are galloping around is silly circles together and I can see Albert sitting on top of the Church wall watching them with some interest before he jumps down into the grass and rubs his head against those of William and Meg waking both dogs up.

The guinea fowl totter past and leap the 6 feet to enter the old Graveyard. They chatter noisily when they spy Albert, then move on to sit under their roosting tree, muttering to themselves like grumpy old people 

I take a long measured breath in, as one of the roosters crow

I am home

Up With The Drawbridge

The cottage looks at its best by candlelight
I got home after a work half day, walked the dogs and cooked a casserole.
The candles were lit just before 4 pm
Sometimes it's nice just to come home and shut the doors to the world.

I'm watching the TCM movie channel
The Four Musketeers is on...I forgot just how good Oliver Reed ( Athos) and Faye Dunaway ( as the evil Milady) actually were.

I'm lying on the couch with Dotty and Mary
And thinking of the song Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol

" ....if I lay here

            If I just lay here........

            Would you lie with me

            And just forget the world ......?"

           

 

Most Original Christmas Card

Jamie, with his 1940's RAF moustache actually flew in from Helsinki this evening and was conducting choir practice only a half hour later than usual.
Now that's real dedication.

We are having a "sing off" with another local community choir on the 8th of December. It's a charity event and so it's all good natured
But we want to be the best choir on the night!
Choir practice has gone all a bit Sister Act 2 Back in the Habit

We nailed the Reindeer calling song tonight and battled with Unison in Harmony 

Apparantly the number of Christmas cards bought in the Uk has plummeted over the last couple of years and, to me, this fact is disappointing to say the least.
I love the tradition, especially as the ritual and the time spent in writing the card and posting it to a loved one, is an important part of Christmas to me, as is the ritual of opening the cards in the cottage and hanging them around the living room.
And so dear readers I'm setting you another mini competition
Send me an original Christmas card! The most bizarre and different the better
The most original will be picked on Christmas Eve and the winner will get an " original " prize which will be a special and robust donation by me to a charity in their name!
Christmas Eve is only day I have off over Christmas so let's make it fun !
Send you entries to me

John Gray,

          Bwthyn y Llan , Cwm Road,

          Trelawnyd

          Flintshire,

          North Wales

          LL 18 6EF  UK

Sharing A Bed

I was going to start by saying I miss sharing my bed.
I miss sharing my bed with another man
The alternative to many is a very attractive one.
Cool, crisp white linen sheets
A warm duvet
Pillows soft and easily moulded
Silence
The double bed all to yourself
The ability to do " snow angels " uninterrupted on the bottom sheet
Long, undisturbed slumber
Bliss

Without a naked man in my bed do I tick all of those wonderful singleton boxes?
Do I fucking hell as like?!

Yesterday I got into bed at 10.30 am  The sheets were fresh, the duvet wrinkle free and the pillows plumped
Then like the children out of The Sound Of Music did to Maria when the thunderstorm started , the dogs start to appear.
Dotty and Mary are always first
Each battling for the armpit position.
Mary tends to win because I allow her first dibs
With a mini flounce that would but Vivian Leigh to shame, Dorothy collapses next to her.
She snores loudly in protest of not being closest .
Then Winnie appears and we have the "wandering around on the wooden floor ten minutes" torture until she is ready to haul her great carcass onto the bed.
One on the bed she immediately collapses with a loud fart, snort, or groan
She too then stats to snore.
Albert is always last.
He chooses last as there is less chance of his receiving a rather unwelcomed and rather shocking arse lick.....
He curls up anywhere he can fit.
There isn't any space for bleeding Tatoo from Fantasy Island to squeeze a buttock next to mine, let alone the prospect of any hairy arsed potential boyfriend to manage to creep under my duvet with lascivious intent!
Perhaps Im destined to be single