Monday, 2 December 2019

Hugs


I hugged a patient goodbye today
It's a common thing for hospice staff to do when their patients go home
Contrary to expectations
Many patients get to go home

In my experience there are two types of hugs
The first is the polite hug. The hug of affection that perhaps lasts only a second or two
It's heartfelt and warm and sometimes unexpected !!

For many hugs are rare as hen's teeth

The second type of hug is the bear hug. That long, long hug of need and want
The kind where back slaps tighten into embraces that hate to be opened.
The all enveloping hug

Tonight I came home to a dark ......silent cottage
And near empty, in my psychological  reserves
I sat and cried sad selfish tears for a short while

Moments later the dogs arrived home,
In a blast of hairy, goggle eyed  Bon viveur !
And bulldog and terrier hugs commenced in earnest
Big, fat, long fuck off bulldogs and terrier hugs

How lucky am I ?


56 comments:

  1. I come home to a dark home every night, except for the dogs. This is life.

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    1. I knew you would understand this one x

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  2. I love my stamped of gud dug hugs, buffs and a kiss or two!
    parsnip

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  3. Anonymous10:28 pm

    Were it not for my two once feral cats my life and home would offer me very little loving affection. It pleases me more than I can express that you have your animals to love you. It would tear at my heart to know you had none giving you that warm connection with another living being when you are home with no other human there. - Mary

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    1. Mary I hug humans as easily as I do my dogs.
      I just miss husband hugs

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    2. Anonymous10:41 pm

      I know, me too, it's the lack of his love being at home that's a heart breaker.- Mary

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  4. When I go out I leave the radio on to keep my dog company, it's also nicer to come home to.

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  5. I hugged my mum's care worker today. I don't know why I felt the sudden need.

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    1. Andi... as a care worker who rarely gets a kind word let alone a hug they would have appreciated it very much indeed. Thank you on behalf of care workers all over the world.

      Jo in Auckland

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  6. John, if anyone deserves hugs it's you. I will be surprised if you don't find another S.O. ere long.

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  7. Nothing better than returning home to a hug, human or animal. I always leave at least two lamps on, and my radio in the bedroom, I don't like returning to a dark house.
    Bless your heart.
    Hugs,
    ~Jo

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  8. I get cat rubs when I come home. I also leave the kitchen light on so that I do not walk into a dark house.

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  9. You light up their days also.

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  10. Doggies are always so happy to see their owners!
    Bear hugs are the best. Really.

    XoXo

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  11. Hugs are appropriate in too many sad situations, hugs are welcome in so many happy situations. The common part is that hugs are welcome and heartfelt in all situations. You have had the opportunity to experience both today, John. Rue the sad ones, revel in the joyous ones, and be ever grateful you have experienced both all in the course of your day. I am humbled by your empathy and grace.

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  12. I still haven't learned to do alone very well. They say you cannot be a good partner until you can be alone but I say hogwash to that shit. I spend a lot of nights alone and still have trouble figuring out what to do with myself. Ah well.....

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  13. I hug you from afar....

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  14. I prefer to be alone rather than the alternative sadly.I feel badly let down by certain people.I much prefer my darling dogs who are happy,honest and loving and I am at my happiest living my life with them even though there is a lot of poo and wee at the moment x

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    1. I'm with you flis. I'm perfectly fine on my own (and I don't even have pets), but a god-awful marriage did that to me! Still, I'm happy!

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  15. I only hug my wife and my daughter. I don't hug men as this was not part of British manners in the middle of the last century. It is something that has crept in like slovenly eating and pizza. However, on Friday evening I made a point of hugging the father of the young man who killed himself.

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    1. Anonymous12:34 pm

      That is so sad YP.

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    2. I'm glad you made the exception YP.. I am sure the father was glad of the hug.

      Jo in Auckland

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  16. It can be a difficult transition to live alone after having not lived alone. I tend to hug... and most of my Friends and Family are Huggers too... Human Contact and the Love of a Pet are a basic Need being met for most people, unless they prefer being reclusive and solitary.

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  17. I remember visiting my sister a couple of weeks after my ex left me, and as soon as she opened the door I broke down and asked for a hug, sobbing 'nobody touches me anymore'! It was that simple physical, skin to skin contact I was so missing ..

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  18. More loyal and loving than humans, although they will eat you when you are dead. It's all about the cocktail sausage 😘

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  19. If Alfred greeted you, very lucky.

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  20. Hugs are so important. My ex-husband hated being hugged and didn't like hugging me. My favorite husband or my present husband, or my last husband, or all of the above is an amazing hugger. He's a huge man and he wraps his arms around me and holds me.

    Sending hugs to you, not the same and not enough but still, I know how important human touch is.

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  21. I have a nice source of Cat Hugs, and an old blue eyed boy who purrs loudly in my ear when we hug.
    A little slinky grey blue cat/kitten who enjoys purring,hugging and biting my nose...then there's Honey,the 2 ton cat...just out of kitten hood...my inheritance..
    My husband died so I moved to Florida to be close to my mom.
    She died right after I moved here.
    I got her cat.

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  22. Sending hugs to you 💕

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  23. Your words are so true. My dogs have helped me through very difficult times. I'm so glad your dogs do the same for you.

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  24. Oh, if only cats cared about one as much as dogs do. I get no acknowledgement at all from my Famous Four when I return - unless they want to feed, when it's a case of rubbing against ones legs until they're served, then scoff followed by a wash and then return to sleep, with me totally ignored having done my duty. Ah me! Such is life!

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    1. We've been very lucky with our current little cat. A stray when tiny, she considers her role in life to be that of a lap cat. Every evening she has to sit on my lap for at least an hour, and my husband's, if he's here, then onto her blanket on the back of the settee. She purrs when picked up and loves being stroked. Our previous cat, while very fond of us, would not stay in the house at all - he'd been born on a farm, and liked the outdoor life.
      You have to take what you get with cats!

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    2. The veg artist ..... 💕

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  25. What would we do without our beloved animals? They truly enrich our lives!

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  26. Leave a light on, for heaven's sake. Better to come home to an empty space than to sit outside in the car dreading having to go in. And I am not a hugger tho I have managed to accept/adopt the NYC air kisses near one's face.

    And..no sense crying over a man who didn't value the wonderful person you are.

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  27. virtual bear hug is on its way across the ocean...

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  28. My best hugs these days are from my two small grandsons. They really know how to hug; it's wonderful.

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  29. Barbara Anne5:29 am

    Yes, leave a lamp on and the radio playing to welcome yourself home. Am glad the dogs and Albert arrived home soon after you did to remind you that you are loved.

    Hugs from from me to you. I'm quite a bit shorter and smaller than you are but I'd do my best!

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  30. Yes you are lucky to have doggy hugs, John. I know my dog loves me but, being half Shar Pei, she's a bit aloof and doesn't really do hugs. The Shar Pei side wins out over the Bulldog half in that respect.

    I'd hug you, I'm a great hugger. And I love great big bear hugs. xx

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  31. At this time of year those tears are never far from the surface - and brace yourself, John - working the Christmas period in a Hospice played havoc with my normally fairly restrained emotions! I used to ball my eyes out in the car on my drive home to "get it out of my system" - until the next time.

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  32. We are born to skin to skin contact. We need hugs.
    Sending a virtual ((hug))

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  33. Is my birthday so please accept a huge hug that has got 69years if hug experience in it.xxx

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  34. You have a very emotional job now, I'd be surprised if you didn't come home and cry at times even if another person was there. Sending you a virtual bear hug - I feel you'd be a bear hug sort of a person! x

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  35. Virtual bear hug to you too. It's a tough time of year for many of us.Glad your dogs are so loving; my 2 rescue cats are the same. Re the dark cottage, could you get one of those motion light sensors above the front door? My son fitted one for me and it's a welcoming sight.

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    1. I usually leave the lights on for when I got home

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  36. I’d give you a bear hug, John, but I’ve been told hugging me is like hugging a block of wood... because there’s no fat to grab onto not because I’m unfeeling. But I still give good hugs, and my heart is always with you.

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  37. It's time we had another hug :-)

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    1. It is!!! I'm very tired at the moment...physically

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  38. As much as we love our pets we all need human contact December can be a difficult month to get through as we are all expected to be happy but life is not like the pretty pictures of family around the Christmas tree,
    I have a lot to be thankful for but at Christmas we tend to miss the people who were part of this happy scene be it parents children or friends who have passed.
    I understand all the pain you have gone through and handled with panache this year is right back staring you in the face with your final divorce papers.
    Sending hugs your way there are better times ahead.

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