Day Off

 Today is my only proper day off, so I met my friend Ruth for lunch and an exhibition at Mostyn Gallery. The lunch ( Greek salad with chicken) was lovely and the exhibition by Vanessa da Silva rather beautiful. 

Ruth bought me an original sketch of an old dog which was delightful and I bought a small globe from a shop in town. I used to have one that lit up as a child and have always wanted to own another. 

Then we sat on the Promenade in the cold and watched the world walk by

Sunshine and Meatballs

 Apparantly it’s a thing….

Yesterday was a wake up call.

Roger off his lead like a loon

Things can go tits up in an instant.

One wrong move, one accident of fate, 

And whoosh 

Roger has been at Trendy Carol’s all day.

I’ve been in college

Both he and Mary were stood by Carol’s Trendy Conservatory and when they saw me, Roger galloped over with his sister tottering slowly behind

And the welcome broke my heart just a little.

A dim silly boy with a gentle heart and a scruffy old bitch with tired eyes

They are my world and my sunshine

And I’m glad I bought them a packet of Swedish meatballs from the garage on the way home( see link below)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqv6DfiKJYE

My Sunshine

 

Roger slipped his lead this afternoon and in a fit of excitement got himself lost on the Dyserth walkway for over two hours! .

I was frantic as his dim nature belies any common sense homing instinct and was filled with that hollow dread any parent feels when their child slips a hand and gets lost in the crowd.

I walked up and down the old railway line until dusk with Mary tiredly in tow, until a young couple told me that he was sat in the car park with their mother after climbing into their car in the faint hope he was going home.

He whimpered when he saw us, wrapping his paws around my forearm until I got him home and there he sat on my knee as I rocked him like a baby .

I found myself tearfully half-singing a song to him as he fell fast asleep, his muddy paws twitching gently in tired stress

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine

You make me happy when skys are Grey, 

You’ll never know dear, 

How much I love you, 

please don’t take my sunshine away ……

MÚSICA Y JUGUETES - CARROS DE FUEGO

The metropolitan Orchestra of Madrid and lisping Talia Choir massacre Chariots of fire

It’s all rather fun.

Off to bed for a sneaky sleep as I’m back on nights. The Welsh have been walked in the cold and when I got back, I ordered Mary a coat from Amazon.

I will leave you with this video

It made me smile

Filthy Bitch

 Family meal for my brother in law’s 70th. Great fun.

Nice to see everyone. We were all still full of Bridget Jones and would have drunk some Filthy Bitch 

Cocktails if they made them.

 

Valentine

 I’ve never bothered too much about Valentine’s Day

And today I realise that I never will.

At 63 I’ve given up on the idea of romance in its most romantic of terms now.

And that’s fine

It’s also realistic, and positive 

Concentrate on other things

On friends and family , 

Work and study, 

Pastimes and new experiences

Hey ho

There’s hope For All Of Us

 

Renée Zellweger has always made a lovable Bridget Jones. She is everyone, every woman and every man , she is flawed, sweet, well meaning and oh so lucky. Now a widow, she has two children who love her, an urban family that adore her, a beautiful quirky home in  romanticised London and a 29 year old boyfriend ….she also has a Randy wisecracking friend and baby sitter ( Hugh Grant) on wonderful form btw , a down to earth stand in GP (a scene stealing Emma Thompson) and a glam tv front woman (Josette Simon) below who brings the house down with a simple well timed  fuck off.

Emma Thompson

It’s a funny , and properly funny and strangely sad film, which has a lot to say about grief and the power of friendships as it does about romance, hope and reinvention .

She’s a hopeful hero who I cried buckets over

Bridget gives us all hope.

Hope that any of us ordinary folk can be happy at the end of the day .

Hands

 I have a new doctor.

He’s thorough, polite, unhurried and personable 

I like and respect him and healthcare is not the chore it once was. 

I watched him tap away at his computer and realised that he had tiny hands.

A surgeon’s hands I thought

My blood results are fine

Pity the doctor’s remit doesn’t cover diabetes

The nurse hasn’t impressed me as yet.

September 5

 

Magaro

 I didn’t know the story behind the live reporting of the hostage fiasco that was the 1972 Munich Olympics. Sure I knew that 11 Israeli athletes and their coaches were held at gunpoint by members of the black September terrorist group and that all of the hostages were killed mainly due to the inept response by the German police, but what I didn’t know what it was the first international terrorist attack that was filmed and reported on live television. 

September 5 is a gripping, claustrophobic and taunt retelling of the story from the perspective of the American ABC on site sports department team, who assumed responsibility ( over the US based News Team) to run and report the drama.

Although a professional tv team, the technicians and producers, were totally out of their depth , however they did rise to the occasion ( helped by a quick thinking and cool German interpreter Leonie Benench.) 

Rookie producer Geoffrey Mason ( a sexy, intense John Magaro) leads the team well through the crisis supported by the always interesting Peter Sarsgaard as his tv veteran boss, and everything is filmed by hand held cameras giving the film an authentic 1970s feel to it. 

The inexperience of the sports reporters showed in one pivotal moment when they all suddenly realised that the terrorists were actually gaining the upper hand by watching their live feed on tvs in the Olympic village

. A  Chilling and terrifying moment in an impressive historical drama

I loved it

Can I Thrust By …..I’m a Diabetic ?

 The dietitian over faced me with information today.

Teaching wasn’t her forte

My head was reeling and by the time she explained what whole foods where I could have stuck an avocado up my arse and called myself a salad. 

When I got up to leave she asked me what I’d got planned for the rest of the day 

She didn’t laugh when I told her I was off to McDonald’s 

Ps I wasn’t btw

I have my insulin and needles but no one yet to officially teach me what to do with them.

Thank goodness my blood sugars are more stable this week , at least I have enough energy to get out of bed.

I went to the surgery for a blood pressure check and the nursing assistant told me it was dangerously high

I’m not bleeding surprised I told her but had the presence of mind to give her a collection of my blood pressure readings taken from the week at home, which placated her

No one in primary care today seemed to have a sense of humour today 

Hey ho

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/tv/0/victoria-wood-greatest-sketch-julie-walters/

It’s a start

 It’s chilly, 

On one of those murky, winter days when everything feels damp and cold and miserable.

Mrs Trellis was out in her winter coat and erect bobble hat. But she was the only one in the village I saw, as everyone else were hidden away behind curtains and blinds backed by the cheerful glow of lamps and fires.

It is a night for fires, and throws and for wrapping my lovely green cashmere scarf around my head like a 

Bedouin.

It’s not a good look

But it’s warm 

The twins are in front of the fire and I’m pleased that Bun walked over to sit on my knee next to Roger who was so surprised he showed Goo goo eyes whoever was watching.

They sat together for twenty minutes

It’s a start

A busy week ahead , 

Too busy

Dean Martin & Caterina Valente - One Note Samba

Enjoy

Thank You

 Cro, took the opportunity in his morning blog post to thank people in his past for kindnesses they had done for him.

It made for an interesting read, and cathartic one all told. 

Over coffee I made a mental list

It was interesting as it meandered.

I wish I told my grandparents just how important they were as they moulded me into the best version of myself I could be, whilst at the same time thanking my parents for doing the bet they could with what skills they had.

Thank you to the unknown man who saved my life in a Spanish swimming pool in 1972

Thank you to the birdlike Miss Betts and the sexy Mr Smiler who shared their love of writing stories at Prestatyn High School

And Thank You Mr Brint my tutor in psychiatry who showed me that men could be soft as putty

Thank you to Ally who took me to my first opera at the Grand in Leeds

And thank you to Robert who made my first kiss with a man as sweet as it could be.

Thank you to too many nurses who have moulded my career and my practice 

And to Ceri who helped me see that death wasn’t so frightening a prospect when you are dying

Thank you to that British Rail employee who was kind to me after I foolishly went to my father in laws funeral 

And thank you to my sisters who are constants in a life lived.

I am grateful that I could go on

And on

And on

Tarts’ knickers

This week has been somewhat strange. 

Emotionally I’ve been up and down like a tart’s knickers.

I’m not stressing over the diabetes. 

It’s just been a very long week.  

Today I’ve driven a ninety mile round trip for a study day

Tomorrow I’m on a night shift again. 

Thank goodness my blood sugars have stabilised somewhat given my diet

To feel so fatigued on top of things , I would have been a basket case

And so I’m sat on the Promenade near home

I’m being mindful, helped by Max Richter.

The Welsh are noisily sharing some Swedish meatballs on the passenger seat 

And I’ve opened the window wide to let in the icy air.

At Last…..

 Busy day.

Clients for most of the day, dreaded paperwork then a foray into the communication abyss that is a GP s surgery where un joined up writing means that a clinic appointment in another town was cancelled without me being informed and another made without thought to work and life.

I didn’t get angry, I couldn’t 

And I will tell you all for why

I had a last session with a client today.

Without me knowing they left a gift and card on Bluebell 

The gift was a homemade pottery figure which loosely resembled me. 

The card was hand painted with a selection of what looked like spring flowers

In it, written carefully were the words

“ At last I’ve been heard”

How Others See You

 I rang up about joining a local cinema discussion group the other day. 

The man organising it was enthusiastic and chatty up to me mentioning that I was of retirement age and then he went all evasive . 

You sounded younger he said backtracking on his initial excitement and there was an awkward silence before he told me that he’d be in touch, after he had received all applications.

I’m usually pretty assertive in these cases but soon after I felt deflated and judged and suddenly surplus to requirements .

How Yorkshire Pudding sees me

Money

 Am I destined to return to Italy?

I hope so . 

Ive cancelled my trip to Rome in five weeks only because I’m up in the air with my diabetes 

I’ve no problem with that, I’ve got refunds on my accommodation and have swapped flights to July when Ruth and I are going to Madrid to see my lisping choir in person ( again) 

Their summer concert is Eurovision based and will be camp fun

The four months in between will allow for my health to stabilise.

I’m skint too, that’s just an observation not a gripe. 

Every bill has increased this year, including my mortgage, so I’ve booked a few extra shifts and have tightened my belt.

I will still try to go to the theatre and cinema when able ,as these treats keep me sane and I’m happy that I saved up for my sister’s 2025 birthday and Christmas gift last year, so our trip to the Royal Opera house to see Romeo and Juliet won’t come as a real shock.

Next year my friend Nige and I have tentatively planned to visit Naples

Only 141 miles to Rome

Fantasy

 I have a whole selection of day dream fantasies, doesn’t everyone?

Places you go and visit when you’re warm in bed and your conscious minds flits like pond skaters do on the surface of the village pond.

My favourite recently is that I’m on a night train to somewhere. The sleeper is decked out ala North by Northwest or if not that American then say the train in From Russia With Love. 

Faded but smart

If you get the gist.

Of course I won’t be sharing ( that idea repulses me) but the thought of getting lulled to sleep by the noise of the train, intrigues me.

The man with a hole in his jumper doesn’t figure on any train, but the idea of meeting remains cinematic and dramatic in nature. It’s a scene from a gentle comedy film, wholly British with mr Jumper being scruffy but sweet and our meeting romantic and chaste

I have the money no object fantasy but it’s transported to a tv makeover where the cottage is a tardis with every to do task completed to the highest level of style and competence. 

The programme ends with me being presented with a baby bulldog from grateful friends in the village.

lol

Mememememe!, 

Sometimes I’m walking in New York like an aged Sarah Jessica Parker, off to meet friends for lunch at some bistro or other. And fantasies like these are fleeting and are almost like snapshots rather like little movies. 

I’m on stage singing ……singing like Ruby Rossi from Coda or Hyde from belting out This is the Moment ( you would never know I was gay would you?)

Sometimes I day dream of loved ones gone too

Bittersweet day dreams, like I said , that flit in and out of consciousness like pond skaters on the village pond

Better

 I’m feeling a bit better, even before I am to start on insulin,

I’m pleased by this.

I suspect my diabetic diet , is responsible for this as the peaks and troughs of my blood sugar have been ironed out a little.

And I have been strict .

Yesterday I spent the whole day cleaning out the kitchen cupboards without an afternoon nap .

Last night I read most of a book without falling asleep

Warmed by the fire , I was still awake at nine , as the twins swaggered down the stairs to take their place near the hearth .

Only then did I go to bed.

Today I’ve made bacon soup ( from the diabetic menu) and had a hot shower with Roger ( which he loves)

I listened to The Archers Omnibus on IPlayer, spoke to a friend and listened to music as the Welsh sat on my chest and the twins hovered nearby.

I listened with interest to the eloquent speech from Justin Trudeau waging economic war on Trump

Animal Helper Pat stopped for a chat and moments later Mrs Trellis dropped off dog treats wrapped in serviettes 

Sundays are a little long as they always say to me couple time 

Hey ho

My Untidy Desk