Barabrith

I love the sound of the wind in the trees and the patter of rain on the windows. Distant growling thunder is another favourite and is now the one I fall asleep to most nights thanks to Hey Google.

It’s funny what habits you get into when left to your own devices.

Animal Helper Pat, called around yesterday with her traditional gifts of bara brith wrapped in silver paper with a tiny red bow in the centre and a large sprig of holly wrapped in a matching red ribbon. 

So today I will pop my gift in and deliver a dozen or so cards to other villagers not yet handed over

It’s blustery today but mild

Family

 

Long day today. College all day then got home , just in time to walk the dogs then out again for dinner with family.

Chic Eleanor’s wren

Treats

 

I thought I’d share Kelda’s latest village based video

It shows Trelawnyd in its full winter’s if brief best.

Last night I met up with Gorgeous Dave and we went for a meal at the Erskine hotel in Conway. (another treat). We sat and talked for two and a half hours and had some lovely food. 

After Uni today, I’m meeting my family for dinner at the Dinorban Arms which is treat two this week.

Tomorrow is treat three with an early doors meet with Chic Eleanor. 

I’ve  bought her a metal wren for Christmas .

Scruffy

 

I’ve had a beard since I was 24.

It’s a full beard at the moment 

Usually it’s trimmed and a goatee 

I quite like the Father Christmas look but I know it’s unkempt and lazy

I will trim it today and have washed my Christmas jumper too.

I’m going out for dinner with Gorgeous Dave so I will have to shape up 

He’s so ably turned out.

I wonder where this comes from, my two sisters are always impeccably turned out and my brother was no slouch in the dapper stakes either. my parents although old in their outlook always dressed well even in 1970 and my husband was neat, tidy and groomed within an inch of his life.

Is it habit I’m like this? 

Do I really don’t care? 

Have I let myself go? 

I’m off for a long hot shower and my beard trimmer is all charged up ready

Sunday Lunch

My bladder is playing up. 

It will do and has done if I forget to hydrate.

I’ve not slept well but I will be fine tomorrow.

Im embracing home today.

So I’m cooking.

A proper roast dinner. 

A British roast dinner is like Jewish penicillin Chicken soup

It does you good.

Of course I will make too much , so I will plate up another portion for Eirlys and will pop it, some mince pies and card a bit later.

Leftovers for tomorrow and Tuesday, fried and mixed together

Bloody lovely

I’ve got a few bits for the village telephone foodbank too, but by the look of things it looks like Sainsbury’s shelves already which is a lovely thing to see.

The real spirit of Christmas in one large red box

To Jim Davies, the following are two Winnie stories, just for you

https://disasterfilm.blogspot.com/2020/12/winnie-remembered.html

https://disasterfilm.blogspot.com/2021/01/rubber-chicken-immortalised.html

I never make a roast dinner for myself, a rare treat…

A Christmas Rubber Chicken, A Scarf and Cards To Die For

 The hunky Postman never got the change to “James Herriot” my cat flap today , as Roger caught sight of him early doors and marshalled the troops to meet him at the garden gate with big smiles and busy tail wags.

I opened the parcels and cards at the kitchen table and was amazed 

A beautiful scarf, simply wrapped ( I love it) 

And a Christmas decoration in the shape of Winnie’s much loved rubber chicken from Mistress Maddie.

Wearing the scarf, I cried real tears at the chicken and it’s significance 

I miss my old Queen Sálote of Tonga so

My favourite photo of Winnie

Getting pissed off with me Christmas Day 2018

When we were at the cold beach and she wanted to go home

Godzilla Minus One

 

Finally I got back to the movies and boy did I enjoy returning.

Today’s film was a Japanese  version of the country’s own original monster movie from 1954

A retelling of the Godzilla story from the perspective of the post war Japanese people.

It’s an interesting movie and strange as it would seem, a very emotional one as we follow the story of a thrown together nuclear ( literally) family of Shikishima ( Ryunosuke Kamiki) a kamiski pilot who refused to crash his plane, and Noriko ( Minami Hamabe) a young woman who saved a baby (Sae Nagatani) during the firestorm on Tokyo 

One pissed off Dinosaur

This chaste family Unit try to forge an existence in post war Japan where most of the population are haunted by ghosts of the war, living in squalor ,fear of the H bomb threat , and coping with the internalised anger at their own Government for dragging them through a war which degraded them. 

Indeed the whole message from Godzilla minus one ,is about redemption and one of saving face. 

Director Takashi Yamazaki interestingly has the general public, the old soldiers and sailors from the war to fight a rather bad tempered and nasty Godzilla and the destruction set pieces have a wonderfully vintage and slightly old fashioned feel to them, almost as if we were back in the man-in -a-suit 1954 original.

yamazaki also makes his protagonists incredibly real and somewhat vulnerable , and when Noriko is cornered by Godzilla as she travels in a train in the city of Ginza ( a total homage to the L train destruction scene in the original King Kong)  It is real hand to the mouth stuff , as Shikishima turns up to save her.

You care about this nuclear family, and you care about the real people devastated by a war most of them never wanted. Godzilla Minus One has lots to say about the horrors of war and less to say about a bad tempered dinosaur , which makes it such a better film than those recent American remakes who resemble the olympics in 1980 Los Angeles …..when too much thrown at them

Cards

 It’s Friday already and I’m working all day Saturday and Sunday so Christmas week is practically here.

I have another presentation to deliver on Tuesday at college but this is part of a group Ethical  presentation and only lasts five minutes so I have to write this up today, which will be pretty straightforward.

Shortly I’m taking Trendy Carol’s hubby Christmas Shopping and late afternoon I’m going to watch Godzilla minus one which is the Japanese movie reclaiming it’s own monster back

I think it will be fun .

Last night I hung my Christmas Cards, and they started to snake around the living room. With the cost of postage so high I’m not expecting the usual amount, but I’m secretly hoping I can fill the room.

It’s a tradition I got into when I moved into the cottage in 2005

My ex sent me a polite card, 

It’s up with the others.

I’ve bought my gifts, 

I found some rusting wrens online, the types you nail onto of a fence or on a tree branch and have sent them to friends

I think they are quite lovely and have bought one for myself 

My nephew sent me a beautifully wrapped gift, yesterday 

And I’ve had a few more with cards from bloggers which I’m very grateful for 

Mary has a sore foot which Dorothy is licking loudly in the kitchen reading chair

Everything in Wales feels damp

Erddig

 

My friend Ruth and I went out to do the Christmas Thing this afternoon and go to Erddig, a visit which turned into a hysterical sob fest during lunch where she found an extremely long blonde hair in her Turkey bap and proceeded to remove it from her throat like a magician pulling out a row of bunting.The moment was made more special by the fact it had a small knot of stuffing wrapped around its distal end.

We haven’t laughed so long in ages.

The house looked magical in the darkness of a winter’s day, and even though we could only see half of the rooms ( the house is for the most part without electric light so is unsafe to walk around ) what we saw was lovely 

It was good to see her x

Christmas

 

Finally a day for just myself no work and no study.

I’m late with my Christmas Cards, and the sending of gifts so I will get those done today. Next week I’ve arranged to meet up with Gorgeous Dave on Monday and my family for a meal on Tuesday. Wednesday I am having supper with Chic Eleanor and there’s a party most of the TCA are going to on Thursday

I’m working Christmas Eve and Christmas Day 

The Covid Nun

The covid inquiry continues

And I have one small story I wish they could hear.

It’s a story of people going one step further for another human being

Many such stories could be told of that time .

My patient was admitted from home, and I could immediately see , like the wide eyed paramedics that accomplished her, that she was imminently dying,

Her large family , requested just one thing as they ran in after her

She needed and wanted a priest.

I stayed with the patient and hissed a request at a pragmatic smart support worker   “ Get Me A Nun”

During lockdown , it had been almost impossible to get any chaplaincy support, but knowing that there was a nearby Convent I thought a nun was better than nothing , and even though nuns can’t give the last rights they can pray over the dying to give comfort.

An elderly nun duly arrived in what seemed like a minute or so .she was in her eighties and looked valiant as she glided in breathless but twinkle eyed. 

I had seldom seen anything so brave.

The nurses immediately surrounded her, 

Helping her into PPE and mask and gloves and  apron, with gentleness and respect

And clutching a bible the nun hurried to the patient’s bedside seconds before she passed away

I wish the inquest had heard that story , which stands up with a thousand others that should be heard 

A brave old nun, not frightened or bowed by covid 

Lie In

 My academic poster needed uploading to turnitin today , and happily  I did so around 2pm

Before that I had a proper lie in, which was lovely. 

A lie in ( after dog wees) with a cup of tea and hot buttered toast.

Of course the dogs ate the crusts with their sleepy eyes shut tight and we all slept in until 10am which I so needed.

This evening I’ve practiced my presentation ( which is tomorrow) then made noodles and chicken sprinkled with peanuts to eat on my knee in front of the fire.

Tomorrow after Uni , our group is off for an early supper

I’m still wearing my Christmas Jumper

It will need a few squirts of Fabreese tomorrow 

Nurse

 I didn’t want to be a nurse today.

I didn’t want to check scores of drug calculations, too many in most hours to cope with….

On cards and in books and at bedsides and with a tired colleague who smiled when she didn’t want to.

I didn’t want to carefully fill greedy little syringe drivers and set them up bleeping like tiny box robots under pillows and duvets as their patients relaxed and slept

I didn’t want to explain to lost families about the process of dying and I didn’t want to use a quip with a patient in order to make their tearful son laugh for the first time in weeks.

I didn’t want to teach a student nurse about complex pain in a way she understood as buzzers rang and jobs mounted up

And I didn’t want to write up notes , proving to auditors what I did that day and how I did it.

I wanted to lie on a couch in the warmth with someone rubbing my hair until I fell asleep.

And I wanted to eat a meal I hadn’t cooked myself 

But instead , I was a nurse today

….and it was ok 

 

Christina Perri - "A Thousand Years" captured in The Live Room

Coffee

6.21 

This is on the radio 

I don’t want to be a nurse today

Angel

I found this clip rather moving. 

I have no idea just why perhaps 

I’m just tired tonight, sad at the fact a colleague I value is moving to where the grass is obviously greener.

I’m sad too that some people visit here and have to leave negativity when they don’t really need to ,

I’d prefer that these people don’t visit anymore

You wouldn’t invite me into your home and have me be rude to you

Would you?

Like I said I’m tired tonight 

An Arm Through The Catflap

 Dorothy smashed the catflap during a fit of pique a month or so ago .

She’s been through three now since she arrived

She boxes the plastic door like Rocky then feigns any blame after walking back in, wide eyed and open mouthed .

She has no patience with closed doors.

And has muscles in her front legs like Popeye

I’m tell you this as a bit of colour as the new postman happily waved his arm through the flap yesterday  afternoon with the deep baritone welcome of “ Hello Dogs” 

He had no idea I was sat at the kitchen table banging away at my laptop

All he wanted was a mass of dog hellos which he received immediately from three goo goo eyed dogs who obviously have had a relationship with him for ages

He’s tall and butch and bearded

And I nearly grabbed  his outstretched hand myself 

I opened the door and dogs hugged him one by one

Even Mary was smitten 

He passed me my post as he apologised somewhat red faced

I told him to keep abusing my cat flap

He obviously adores dogs.

The above beautifully crafted glass Christmas bauble was in the post he gave me. No name , no note with it, but against the Sitges bulb , it looks iridescent   and rather beautiful 

Thank you whoever sent it.

Enjoy

 The hat on the guy in the woodwind makes me chuckle every time I watch this

Off to bed shortly, working all weekend 

I’ve only spoken to the postman today 

Suo-Gan

I found myself awake at three last night.

It was cold too, so the dogs we all called to bed to act as organic hot water bottles 

I asked Google Plus to play Suo Gan and this version  by Bryn Terfel played.

Suo Gan is a lullaby, usually sang by a woman, so this version was a surprise and a delight.

I’m finishing off my academic poster for college 

An exploration of the differences and similarities between counselling and confession, as experienced by counsellors who are, or have been , Catholic Priests

Oh er missus

Tell us the one about………

 My grandmother was a storyteller.

She filled our childhood with a dozen or so stories, all repeated at our request during bouts of ironing and cake making.

Hearing these tales repeated was just as much fun as hearing them for the very first time 

The anticipation of a punchline, or the denouement of daring wartime adventure was a delicious thing to children who grew up in a sad house. 

And we gulped up the repeats with gusto.

I’ve repeated this story 4 times now and always just before Christmas

I think it’s worth repeating every year, and I won’t apologise for its appearance here again

Christmas 1985

Christmas week 1985 I was  shadowing a community psychiatric nursing sister with her caseload in the deprived and depressing northern town of Runcorn.
Through a succession of faceless maisonettes, we sat on grubby sofas and listened to  sad stories of loneliness, mental illness and substance abuse and I watched as my mentor tried her best to keep heads above water and bums out of the local psychiatric unit.
The last visit of the day was to a woman called Jean.
Jean lived alone in the top of a ten story complex. She had suffered from severe mental health problems for forty years and had recently been placed in her home from long term psychiatric care only a few months before.
I remember her flat very well. There was no carpet in the hall and the living room but there was a tiny white tinsel Christmas tree standing on top of a large black and white tv.  A homemade fabric stocking was hung on the fire surround and just two Christmas cards  were perched on the mantle.
( one of those cards having been sent by my colleague) The flat was sparse but incredibly clean and it was evident that Jean had been waiting for our visit all day.
In mismatching cups we were offered coffee with powdered milk and a single mince pie served on a paper plate and I remember sharing a sad glance with the nurse when Jean presented us both with gifts hastily wrapped in cheap Christmas paper. My gift was two placemats with photos of cats on them. The nurse received a small yellow vase, and I remember Jean beaming with delight when we both thanked her effusively for her kindness. 
When we washed up our own cups, the nurse quietly checked the fridge, noting that several of the shelves were empty . There was a calender on the wall with the note " NURSE COMES TODAY" written on that day's date. Nothing else was written on it until the week of new year's eve, where the same sentence was written.
It was the very first time that I had experienced someone who was so totally isolated in a community setting and it shocked me to the core.

I listened as the nurse talked about medication, as  I waited patiently and when she took Jean into the bedroom to administer a regular injection I noticed a carrier bag which the nurse had tucked away by the side of the arm chair shortly after we arrived. In it was a package of cold meat, milk , bread and what looked like chocolates and a cake.
Before we left, we let Jean monopolize her only conversation of the week and as she retrieved our coats, I watched and grew a few years older as the nurse silently slipped a five pound note behind one of the cards on the mantle.

Note

I met an old friend cheryl for lunch in Chester today.

Which was lovely. 

She thought I was a little Frazzled 

I don’t think I am 

I’m still wearing my Christmas Jumper, I’ve not taken it off since Saturday, even sleeping in it last night as it was -3 outside.

The woman in the thai food stall liked it.

When I got home yesterday 

Outside the back kitchen wall was a container of soup and a lovely tiny card covered in flowers.

The card was from Brian 

And it was a gracious apology for what he said to me.

A big man 

And an apology I need to counter with another apology 

I’m sorry I posted about it 

Enjoy this video, I forgot just how good a good comic Grayson was