A lazy Post
1. The first guy I had a relationship with, was a cheerful scouse medic called Roger...... he lived in Manchester and I lived in Sheffield, so we basically saw each other at weekends, high days and holidays......
After 9 months a friend of his, who decided that she liked me more than him, rang me up one day to inform me that he had a fiance ( A WOMAN!) ,(who he lived with) ...suffice to say I didn't get an invite to the day do!
2. In 1984 I did a parachute jump for charity even though I cannot abide heights.
Luckily I was connected to a static line, which thankfully opened my chute automatically as I totally forgot any of my pre jump training...........
I wore one of my Brother's old all in one silver rally suits ( I was showing off ) which totally got covered in shit when I crash landed into a ploughed field, subsequently broke my collar bone and got dragged around it for an age when the wind caught in my canvas!
3. I was once voted "best arse" in the Prestatyn High School 6th form awards ( no jokes please!)
4. I never owned a dog until I was 40
5. I was once attacked by an 80 year old hebephrenic schizophrenic when I was kneeling on the floor putting on her slippers..........she blacked both my eyes and knocked me unconscious .
6. As a child I nearly died twice...... I once choked on a mint imperial when I was around 8, and was saved by my quick thinking mother who upended me over a sink in my father's shop to dislodge the offending sweet .
I also very nearly drowned in a hotel swimming pool in Loret del Mar (Spain).....I went under for the third time.....silently ( I didn;t want to make a fuss) and was only saved when a man noticing my hand poking up through the water, lifted me onto the side of the pool.....
I have never liked water since! (and to be honest I have never been too keen on mint imperials either!)
7. I suffer from sleep apnoea.....once, at the Guttman's Paralympic village when I was sharing a dormitory with a score a paraplegics...... the lads got so sick of my snoring so much so, that in the middle of the night they got up in their wheelchairs and pushed my bed through the emergency exit!
8. I am colour blind........(take a look at my fashion sense if you find that a difficult one to believe)
9. Walking down 2nd Avenue in New York on one rainy Monday morning, I once literally bumped into Sigourney Weaver
10. I have never been arrested but I was once cautioned by two York policemen having a pee in the street dressed as a gorilla
11. I can play chess moderately well
12. I have a deformity of my left index finger called dupuytren’s contracture
13. I have traveled on the fastest zip wire in the world, velocity 2 in Snowdonia
14. I have written Going Gently almost every day since 29th December 2005
15. I have watched 5 babies born including twin girls. I have used a defibrillator 3 times and have been involved in one hospital fire and evacuation.
16. My favourite city to visit is New York which I have gone to eight times ( or is it 9?)
17. I have no middle name
18. I can dispatch a chicken if needed and have been trained to gut , pluck and prepare a carcass
19. I learned to Swim when I was 41
20. My first job was at the Nat West Bank. On my reference for psychiatric nursing Mr Williams the sub manager wrote “ As a bank clerk John clearly shows the potential for psychiatric nursing”
