A Turd On The Picnic Rug

Bulldogs have no inhibitions.

It’s one of their less charming of traits

They are not self conscious about anything, unlike Welsh Terriers who will back into a bush in order to have a poo whilst on a walk and who will hesitate politely when offered a morsel of food from a stranger.

Years ago you may remember that Winnie held up the traffic on the  village zebra crossing at school pick up time in order to have her bowels well and truly opened and was well known for stealing food out of people’s hands if allowed.

She once stole a Farley’s rusk from the bottom shelf of a baby pram in the churchyard and even forced her entire head into an old lady’s handbag in order to retrieve a discarded polo mint.   

One time she even went missing when I had a British telecom workman in and I found her sitting in the passenger seat of his van eating a packet of cheese and onion crisps.

Anyhow, back to this morning and on our morning walk Dorothy spied a group of people preparing a picnic breakfast at the Dyserth Walkway and before I could stop her , had ambled over.  

Now before I get berated for not controlling my bulldog here, in my defence, the woman who had just laid one of those tartan, plastic backed picnic rugs on the ground,  did welcome Dorothy over with a “Well hello beautiful , are you coming to say hi ?”and being a sociable sort Dorothy nonchalantly  walked across the rug to say hello.

I could already see that there was no food on the rug, only a selection of crockery mugs and a Basket so I walked on giving the group a proud smile as they crooned and patted over a smiling Dorothy.

The ooohhhs and arrhhhhs of welcome suddenly changed however to embarrassed laughter, a shriek !! and a panicked no no no no !!!! and I turned quickly to see Dorothy squatting manfully in the the centre of the rug where she was in the final process of laying  a very large industrial sized Steaming turd.

She smiled encouragingly to all as it plopped onto the rug like a bucketful of wet cement 

 

The shame