I’m awake an hour before I need to be up
And I dreamt of snogging Pedro Pascal at a party in the village hall before I opened my eyes.
God I was disappointed to be living today’s life!
He’s a great kisser is Pedro
It’s the moustache
Bliss
Friday night
After work most people have a Prosecco now.
A takeaway.
A scented bubble bath with avocado candles
A Netflix binge with exotic beers and parsnip crisps
Sex in front of the fire
Korean noodles
Hot sugary tea
An Indian head massage
What do I do ?
A lie down with no socks
And a well trained bulldog licking every inch of my feet
Bloody lovely
Ps this blissful scene was turned on it’s head minutes before bed as when I moved all the dogs to get off the couch the resulting growls of upset caused a fight between Mary and Dorothy
Resulting in the damage of the above tv……..
Sigh
When Darkness Falls
When Darkness Falls is a play , that if written in the 1950s would have toured in rep around Yorkshire for most of 1957.
It wasn’t dreadful
It was just static, slightly boring and remarkably not scary.
Ok the one big scare moment was foiled by a man on our row ,getting twenty people up to go to the toilet ,but having said this , I was bored silly. .
But it was nice to go out though. I enjoyed the event.
One of my besties was seeing the revival of Oklahoma in London last night ….wish I was there lol
I’m on three 12.5 hour days shifts now ( don’t ask )
Blogs will be short xxx
November Ultra
Thank you all for your suggestions in yesterday’s post. They have galvanised me somewhat for next weeks sub committee meeting which was running the risk of being overwhelmed of what we can’t do instead of looking of what we can do.
I’ve reflected long and hard over this recently .
That’s why I’m attracted to warm “ can do” personalities
The negative ones, walk to the beat of my mother’s “can’t do “ old drum
That’s why I’m trying to distance myself from those with negative energy
You know the sort….people that can suck the life blood from a lemon without really trying.
I just don’t want to deal with it .
Anyhow, Tonight I’m off to the theatre clwyd to see the play When Darkness Falls.which is described by the Guardian as being able , to leave you cowering in your seat!
Ooh arhhh
I’m going on my own , which is fine.
I need to get out tonight and can’t always rely on the company of friends.
I will leave you with the above song by November Ultra
A song which was playing this morning on the radio, when Mary was sat on my knee bumming toast crusts.
She’s getting on now, and is slower, slightly arthritic and more cranky than her pack mates.
And for a couple of minutes we danced slowly around the kitchen together to this tune ,
Her head tucked under my chin, like a puppy
Making Money
I am one of the trustees for the Trelawnyd Community Association which is a charity .
It’s “official remit is as follows
The TCA was formed in 2018 by a group of friends to try and enhance social cohesion and reduce loneliness in our small rural village. The aim was to provide activities, entertainment and education as well as advocacy and help for those that needed it
A recent subgroup of the charity has been formed to take on the running of the Memorial Hall, a building which given the recent financial crash , has proved to be an expensive place to run. I am a member of the sub committee which is in the process of marketing and fundraising for the hall.
One of my ideas is to make use of the buildings massive windows
There are five in the hall proper , each with 48 individual panes of glass in it.
That’s 336 panes of glass in total.
I was thinking that we could offer each of the panes out for sponsorship , in memory of a loved one and that person’s name could be memorialised on a plaque or on the window itself
After all the Hall itself was built at the turn of the century by Michael Ralli, in memory of his wife Polynmia
Sponsoring a pane for say 30£ Could earn the hall over 10, 000£
Watching The World
The choice of film wasn’t good this afternoon Women Talking was worthy and painful and an acting masterclass but boy was it grim .
So today, the lightest moment came from Roger
Two male blackbirds have been fighting in the garden with pre spring hormones and Roger, fascinated in the fisticuffs sat himself comfortably in the kitchen doorway to watch them for an absolute age
I photographed him and realised I love him even more than I thought I did
Women Talking
I forgot it was half term today.
So no college and no late night home journey.👏🏻
I gave the dogs an extra long walk this afternoon then came to Chester where I treated myself to a beef pitta, coffee strong enough to blow your tits off and a film.
The film is Women Talking .
Sarah Polley’s version of Miriam Toews’ novel which tells the true story of a group of Mennonite Women in an isolated Bolivian community, is a serious watch. A grim and talky piece with a stella cast, has the women beaten, sexually abused and degraded by their men folk.
Taking what time they have together, the women young and old have to decide whether to fight the abuse from within the community, acquiesce to it, or escape to form a new life , albeit one which is excommunicated from their community . The parallels with Weinstein’s Hollywood are only too clear.
Claire Foy shines with anger as Salome as does Rooney Mara and the powerhouse Jessie Buckley and their scenes are compelling to watch but, after a while the film feels as though it’s constrained and is what it is ….a sort of filmed play
Gladys ….Auntie Glad
How strange it was that yesterday , I found myself thinking of Auntie Gladys
I posted a blog about her , months and months after I had done so before
She crept into my head like she often did when she lived in the village,
Vital, and with purpose
Her milky blue eyes, smiling, unless you vexed her.
Aunty Glad’s daughter messaged me this morning. To tell me that Gladys had died yesterday just a couple of months short of 103. She commented on the timing of my post.
How strange it was.
I took a moment to take the news in.
How strange that a woman in her 80s and 90s could have such an effect on a middle aged gay man who was new to her village .
She was my friend from the day I met her and she accepted me and my husband without falseness so common in many long term churchgoers.
I remember her walking to the cottage to give me a wedding gift when she was 95 and added to it a bag of scones , fresh from the oven. Her head to one side,, looking smart in her winter coat she made her way back to her home after refusing a lift home .
“ I like to get my face to the sun” she explained “ God bless You Both”
I need to go to the village Hall now, it’s the soup and roll lunchtime
But I sat at the kitchen table for a short time
And had a small weep.
Gladys opening the flower show six years ago
Something Beautiful
Auntie Gladys was famous for her homespun quotes about doing the right things
Many were bible-esque type quotes
Economical and not too flowery
Having said that I remember her walking around the last Flower Show, the one that she herself opened as guest of honour ,
She was looking at the baking section with bright , critical blue eyes,
Her gaze running across, loaves of bread,and tarts and plates of biscuits and mounds of her own scones
And she smiled and waved her arms like a school girl
“ Always look for the beautiful every day “
She said excitedly
Nice things
My Matsumoto Hogi Frog print arrived yesterday it’s huge and benign and will look lovely in my hallway
I loved this video of a thoughtful gay man sharing a thought about his very straight best friend
Roger watching The Bourne Identity tonight
A recent impulse purchase a Japanese tea bowl ( not arrived as yet)
Raquel Welsh actor and celebrity died aged 82 three days ago
Never one to take herself too seriously she was a talented actress and comedian
She was offered the Faye Dunaway part in Towering Inferno
Day Shifts Again
I haven’t done day shifts for ages
Up before 6 am,
Five pairs of blurry eyes blinking in the light.
LBC radio on the alarm
Dogs walked,
Avocado on toast with egg
Proper coffee( no time for bucket)
Shower very hot.
Clinique happy on uniform
Put Roger in his crate with an egg to play with, Trendy Carol won’t be long
Storm Otto is outside
Albert is up late for breakfast
Noodles and left overs for lunch, with fruit and Diet Coke
Radio is silenced
I want to go back to bed
A Quiet Day
Coffee time at the kitchen sink
David Sidaris then Lesley Manville on Desert Island Discs
Both nice people .
I’ve put a bacon joint in the slow cooker and covered it with butter beans
That will do for supper.
Lunch will be noodles, with walnuts and some boiled rice
Apart from dog walking, I’m not leaving the house today
The weather is blustery
Book Club
Book Club was an interesting meet tonight
Smaller in numbers than meeting one , I missed the presence of the cheerful Faisal but the group was certainly buoyed up by two new members, a bright, chatty lesbian couple from Savannah, Georgia .
Our book was Three Hours by Rosamund Lupton which is an exploration into white supremacy radicalisation within a private English School and the subsequent armed attack on teachers and pupils one snowy morning.
I enjoyed the book , unlike most of the group , but the conversation grew rather intense when one of the facilitators asked the American couple their take on it, given the fact they had only just arrived in the country and that school shootings were very. Much a product of the US
The women looked at each other carefully and the dark haired girl told her story of when she experienced a school shooting as a child where many children , her friends, were killed.
It was a sobering, moving and total unexpected moment that shocked us all.
And in the silence that followed ,the blonde partner , smiled a big smile and said simply
“ why do you think we have come to the UK to live?”
These two women, bright democrats both then told us stories of their experiences of guns, gun crime and gun mentality .
They were neither exaggerating or angry, just resigned and tired of it all
And when they had finished
Discussing a novel didn’t quite seem the most pressing thing to do
People Watching
After dog walking, I treated myself to breakfast in Sainsbury’s cafe.
I also bought two large coffees and read my book in a comfortable booth.
When I was eating breakfast I people watched .
Next to me two middle aged friends met up for tea and sympathy.
They hadn’t seen each other since December and hugged a greeting
Their conversations were animated and warm and loud and as I looked around I noticed a frail slightly older lady with a crutch leaning against her table watching them.
Her expression looked sad but there was more to it and I know I read it correctly
It was envy.
Trelawnyd
This tiktok video has been made by recent Trelawnyd resident Kelda as she climbed up Gop Hill which stands guard over the village
Sweet
A Good Read
I’ve read recently that Going Gently is now sanitized.
I guess it depends on what you understand the word to mean .
As a nurse sanitized means cleansed
I will leave the debate there .
Today will be an indulgent and rare day for me as I will be reading
All day.
It’s book club tomorrow and I want to finish Three Hours by Rosamund Lupton
I’ve had to get up early though and have walked the dogs, blogged, straightened the house and tidied Bluebell
Only then can I allow myself to read and nothing else
Paradise Road-
I miss choir
So tonight I watched the film Paradise Road, a fictional account of the true story of Margaret Dryburgh a gentle hearted Scottish missionary who championed the prisoners of the Japanese in WW2 Sumatra and formed a choir to raise morale
Her story is an inspiration .
Look for the moment where the lumpy and always a burden Mrs Roberts ( Elizabeth Spriggs) gets the harmony right ….heartbreaking
Enjoy
Valentines Day Flirt
There were eleven of us in my morning class on line.
The film class was interesting Horror Stereotypes with a heavy biased towards Jamie Lee Curtis
Three of the participants were from the US and one very attractive middle aged man was from New York and was drinking lots of coffee as it was 4.30 am over there.
His name was Richard and he wrote screenplays ( so he told us)
He had a lovely thick beard, glowing American teeth and academic specs so he looked the part.
He also called out his name in his thick New York brougue ( before anyone else could when asked if we could introduce ourselves ) and added a rather friendly and flirtatious
“ And who is that big handsome charmer on the love seat John Gray?”
I was flummoxed for a second as I had my second best Herbivore T shirt on as well as a cheap Sainsbury’s green hoodie and hadn’t even washed my face, but I started to preen at the potential prospect of an early morning Valentine’s Day flirt
Then I realised that the American was in fact referring to Dorothy who was sat on the sofa behind me
Is it me?
Is it me ?
Or instead of one past-his-sale- by-date homosexual living a pretty hum drum single existence in a picturesque Welsh cottage
Does it look ( and smell ) like four hormonal smelly teenage boys live in my house?
Finishing nights, and after a few hours sleep , I’ve reviewed the wreckage .
Now some of the blame must be given to Roger who not only has gleefully stockpiled three discarded pairs of underpants in his crate but who managed to locate my new beard trimmer from inside a wash bag hidden underneath the bathroom sink and dismantle it over the living room Carpet when I was sleeping.
The rest of the mess , I’m afraid is down to me.
Cups and spoons clutter the kitchen tops, the bed looks like I’ve had a troupe of strippers in and I can’t even share what the bathroom looks like without an antiemetic
On Friday the place was pristine
Bugger knows how it happens
I took the dogs around to Trendy Carol’s when I did her shop ( she’s still got covid )
And I made myself a late bucket of coffee before getting stuck in
Dusk
Apart from walking the dogs in the middle of the day ,I’ve slept the whole Sunday.
I woke at 5.30 with Dorothy gazing at me like a worried Buster Keaton, had a shower , got dressed and took the dogs out again, this time with Albert in tow
I leave the cottage for work around 6.30.
It’s silent at our part of the village. I presume Mandy & Sailor John are busy with family and trendy Carol remains a bit poorly. Their houses are dark and quiet.
Only mine shines a light.
We walk down the lane and I look at the sky
It’s a Gone With The Wind red and looks magnificent .
It’s at these times solitude turns into loneliness but fleetingly so.
The time when you want to say to another human
“ Look at that marvellous sky “
So Instead I photograph it
And send it to you my friends here
And from now on, no one will sneak in a comment of how indulgently depressed I am being, or now inappropriate it is to feel a feeling and share it .
I’m not depressed , or generally indulgent. ( no more that most regular bloggers I guess.) but I am sharing a feeling and this wonderful photograph of the sky
Taken over the cold fields of Trelawnyd Village on Sunday the 12th of February 2023
Before I leave for work.
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