After dog walking, I treated myself to breakfast in Sainsbury’s cafe.
I also bought two large coffees and read my book in a comfortable booth.
When I was eating breakfast I people watched .
Next to me two middle aged friends met up for tea and sympathy.
They hadn’t seen each other since December and hugged a greeting
Their conversations were animated and warm and loud and as I looked around I noticed a frail slightly older lady with a crutch leaning against her table watching them.
Her expression looked sad but there was more to it and I know I read it correctly
It was envy.
So sad. I always try to at least smile at someone who looks lonely, if not pass a comment. For some, it may be the only human contact all week. xx
ReplyDeleteI dont eant to appear patronising
DeleteI didn't think you were being patronising, just commenting on what most of us have seen. My comment wasn't a reflection on you. Sorry if it came across that way. xx
DeleteThe booths in that Sainsbury's really are cosy and good for people watching aren't they.
ReplyDeleteI was always amazed if I was there first thing in the morning how many building site bosses would be sat at the middle tables with their computers fired up and the workers would come in grab a breakfast-to-go and come and get their instructions for the day.
If I see someone on their own in a café I usually try and make a comment as I pass them on the way out, just a smile and a 'isn't it lovely and warm/busy/peaceful in here' type comment. But it's always nice to acknowledge someone isn't it.
A good point...nothing worse than feeling invisable ...i know how that feels
DeleteAlways makes me thing of the song “Hello in There.”
ReplyDeleteA longing for human connection, for someone, anyone to talk with.
ReplyDeleteYes, I know that feeling all too well
DeleteThere's a real difference between someone who's comfortably on one's own and someone who is alone, isn't there? I must admit that that I've been both at different times in my life. Full range of human existence. You are most observant and gracious and deeply kind to observe the full range of experiences in others. We all deserve to be seen.
ReplyDeleteI speak to almost everyone - not only dog walking but in shop queues and waiting in doorways for others if it's easier for all - I have occasionally been snubbed but rarely - Some seem surprised that anyone would chat at all - they then happily tell me all sorts - I like to see people smile x 👵
Deleteafter I became a nurse, it was easy for me to talk to anyone and everyone. I get some strange looks at time, but most people are happy to chat briefly.
DeleteYes being seen and being heard seems very important sometimes
DeleteI'm the same Flis. I love it when people pass the time of day with me. The odd one looks at you strangely but on the whole people love a chat wherever it is - at the bus stop, in the shop, at the traffic lights when crossing the road. I live alone and work alone from home so popping round the shop or to the post office and having a friendly chat is good for me and hopefully is nice for others too.
DeleteSorry my reply to Flis probably came up as Anonymous - I'm Ruth
DeleteI tend to smile and say good morning a lot. Perhaps it has something to do with living in a small town in the Midwest. The local cafe has a sign that says, "There are no strangers, only friends we haven't yet met".
ReplyDeleteReading non verbal signals is important .some people just dont eant to interact
DeleteWant
DeletePeople watching is always fun as well as also sad. Seeing someone very alone and clearly looking for human contact is heartbreaking. I bet others noticed too and for whatever reason decided not to reach out. (See Fils comment; I agree with Fil.)
ReplyDeleteReaching out is not an aquired skill of the British
DeleteThat's sad but probably reflects life for a lot of lonely elderly people. It reminds me of the Beatles song, 'Eleanor Rigby'. An employee at my local Waitrose told me of one elderly lady who would literally spend most of the day in the store and cafe - for the warmth and human company. Sadly, the elderly get left out of the national discussion - the world is very much about youth. Retirement is a boon to some - and a dread to others.
ReplyDeleteI discussed this recently and chatted about the difference between solitude and lonliness
DeleteSurrounded by other people but even in big cities it is very possible to feel alone and unwanted - as if you are excluded from the game for reasons you cannot quite understand.
ReplyDeleteI like the bustle of people YP much more than i ever did
DeleteWe live close to a country store that caters to a senior crowd. Customers enjoy picking up their baked goods and eggs while having a look at all the pretty tchotchkes at the back. The two main cashiers are probably seventy-ish. They were each born with the gift of gab as well as a generous dose of compassion. Everyone leaves the check- out line feeling like they were the best customer of the day. I love watching these ladies work their magic.
ReplyDeleteMany of the deli staff i loved in new york were fast talking broads over a certain age
DeleteI think you are correct. I think she was lonely and envious. Perhaps she was thinking of a partner or friends or both who have died. It leaves such emptiness. A hole impossible to fill. Aging is about loss (whether we like it or not) from what I observe from my parents and aging friends.
ReplyDeleteIt was the look on her face that caught my eye
Deleteits funny John - although I live alone and love friends calling but I never feel lonely - a large part of that I think is my forays into Blogland.
ReplyDeletePerhaps thats why we all are here
DeleteAnother poignant moment captured in this blog!
ReplyDeleteWhen u sit alone you see things
DeleteI've rarely felt lonely but I know a change in life circumstances could alter that overnight.
ReplyDeleteSo I keep in regular touch with the people in my life that matter, either by phone, or letter, or text, or maybe coffee - whatever their preferred way.
We all need genuine friends throughout our lives - in good times and bad.
I am like you anne, friends are important and need to be culivated
DeleteInteresting comment above made about blog land. I agree that blogs such as John's form a community as such - and more power to blogs if people are conversant with them... but I think a lot of elderly (such as my parents in their 80s) still live in the 'land of pounds, shillings, and pence' and are utterly clueless about social media. My dad couldn't even figure out how to use a mouse - a VHS video recorder was as high tech as it got for him. The modern world can draw people together - but it can also exclude others who can't keep up with the pace of change.
ReplyDeleteInteresting points
DeleteId like to start a silver surfers group in tbe village hall..i wonder if i will get any takers over BINGO
That lady on her own could have been me - it wasn't as I now can't afford to go in cafes, now life is even more lonely. There is very little to do if you don't have the money available, there's a coffee morning in the town but it's £3, an extragance for a drink and piece of cake that I can't afford. Thankfully the library is free to visit and use the computers but life is indeed lonely when you're left on your own and all friends have died.
ReplyDeleteIm sorry you feel so isolated.ive just had a thai noodle supper on my own . I dont begruge the 9 quid, but i can afford it
DeletePerhaps you could have said hello and joined her to relieve her loneliness for five minutes x
ReplyDeleteA scene played out everywhere on a daily basis, And one many people neither like to see or acknowledge. All the lonely people indeed.
ReplyDeleteWhere do they all come from ?
DeleteEverywhere, sadly. A plague of our times.
DeleteAwww ...that tugs at my heartstrings. May she find some new freinds soon.
ReplyDeleteHugs!
I came down here to say the same as Mavis. I wish that you would have put down your book and spoken with her. I know that look. I've been behind that look many times.
ReplyDeleteI wish i had..im naturally a little shy
DeleteI hope you finished the book and enjoy you book club tonight. I seem to recall a snide comment when you announced you had joined it.
ReplyDeleteAt my book club last night everyone enjoyed the book more that me..it was interesting as it made be re-evaluate why I hadn’t enjoyed it more.
Not released yet but a mega plug from me for Birnam Woods by Eleanor Catton. Loved it
Im having coffee before "club" happy that i finished it
DeleteI felt envious before I got to the end of your post. I miss my coffee pals desperately, but a big wedge was driven in by the dam Covid. We just can't seem to get it back together. It's like we have been isolated so long there is nothing to talk about anymore.
ReplyDeleteSometimes it is even lonelier when the friend or friendly stranger goes on their way, and one is left alone, missing human contact even more acutely.
ReplyDeleteI am surprised you think of yourself as shy, you seem so outgoing and charming. Good of you to make that effort so often,
lizzy
It may surprise a few here when I say that I’m incredibly shy in certain social situations
DeleteI used to be incredibly shy in my early 20's; I hated walking into a room where I knew no one. These days I no longer give a flying yuk what people think of me but the honest truth is I walk into a room these days and no one notices.... the Physio, where I was telling this story, and I were in stitches because it is so true. Hahaha!
DeleteI have also seen people with that look; a far away envious sad look when they realise that they are on the outer. I work with the elderly everyday and since cyclone Gabrielle have become acutely aware how isolated the elderly can be.
Jo in Auckland
I'm not going into details, but I can understand how that lady felt.
ReplyDeleteI can too some days
DeleteI recently read an interesting article about those little interractions with strangers, and how we often feel silly afterwards or like we intruded or said the wrong thing, and yet studies have shown they still make us happier to have had them! We're funny creatures,but knoeing that makes me feel better about starting up those stranger chats, something I picked up off my mum. Tina in west oz.
ReplyDeleteMy favourite place for 'people watching' is in foreign hotels.
ReplyDelete