How strange it was that yesterday , I found myself thinking of Auntie Gladys
I posted a blog about her , months and months after I had done so before
She crept into my head like she often did when she lived in the village,
Vital, and with purpose
Her milky blue eyes, smiling, unless you vexed her.
Aunty Glad’s daughter messaged me this morning. To tell me that Gladys had died yesterday just a couple of months short of 103. She commented on the timing of my post.
How strange it was.
I took a moment to take the news in.
How strange that a woman in her 80s and 90s could have such an effect on a middle aged gay man who was new to her village .
She was my friend from the day I met her and she accepted me and my husband without falseness so common in many long term churchgoers.
I remember her walking to the cottage to give me a wedding gift when she was 95 and added to it a bag of scones , fresh from the oven. Her head to one side,, looking smart in her winter coat she made her way back to her home after refusing a lift home .
“ I like to get my face to the sun” she explained “ God bless You Both”
I need to go to the village Hall now, it’s the soup and roll lunchtime
But I sat at the kitchen table for a short time
And had a small weep.
Gladys opening the flower show six years ago
strange how these coincidences happen; or perhaps it's not a coincidence. I loved reading about Gladys. A peaceful end to a long and remarkable life.
ReplyDeleteYes I will blog a more fitting epitaph this week , thank you for that x
DeleteRIP Auntie Glad. How strange that you posted about her yesterday. Makes me think maybe she popped into your head to say a final goodbye. Am I being sentimental? xx
ReplyDeleteNo, not sentimental exactly, however, you are simply acknowledging the fact that the spirit reaches out to the hearts of those the person loved in life! ❤
DeleteIt was odd yesterday , when I was giving a patient some meds and she was falling asleep, all I kept thinking of was Gladys , completely out of the blue
DeleteHer soul dropped in to say goodbye and you sensed it.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure she's having a lot of wonderful reunions.
Bless you, John
I sooooo hope so
DeleteI'm so sorry John. I know how much you valued and liked her and shared with us what a wonderful person she was. Sending love.
ReplyDeleteThank you, I know her family will be reading many of these tributes and will be gaining comfort too from them x
DeleteGod be with you, John, and Aunt Gladys, too. With love from Kentucky.
ReplyDeleteThank u x
DeleteI also had a small weep for a lovely lady I never met but feel I knew.
ReplyDeleteThank you for that Peter xx
DeleteI'm so sorry for your loss. I can tell from your posts that she was a very special person.
ReplyDeleteShe was wartime Britain, she was Welsh and proud
DeleteShe loved her adopted village and was always a part of it .
She was strong and not always sweet but she was greatly respected , admired and loved
I like to think Gladys had a wonderful life, probably because she made it so. Glad that you shared her with all of us over the years.
ReplyDeleteElle
DeleteWonderfully put
Gladys was karma personified
I was so sad to hear this news, she was a lovely lady and a very special friend to you. She will be missed.
ReplyDeleteRIP Auntie Gladys xx
I’m so glad you met her
DeleteA life well lived. RIP Aunty Glad xx
ReplyDelete🥰
DeleteSad to hear, take care of yourself.
ReplyDeleteI’m fine david , just reflective , I did my grieving a while ago
DeleteJohn, I loved your stories about Auntie Glad. Some people are angels masquerading as humans, and can love like no other. Sending you much love.
ReplyDeleteMy condolences to the family, the village and especially to you. I am not surprised at all that you knew something before the message came from her daughter, John. May her spirit live on in your lovely village. Jackie in Georgia USA
ReplyDeleteXx
DeleteA lovely lady who will be very much missed. X
ReplyDeleteSimply and nicely put
DeleteJohn, I am so sorry. I always loved hearing your stories about Auntie Glad.
ReplyDeleteThank you Robin
DeleteTo be honest she was a “writers” dream
A wonderful connection between you and Auntie Gladys - and may now continue in spirit x🍰 🌺🌼
ReplyDeleteI’m not dead yet x
DeleteIt must have been Saint Gladys Day!!! My dearly departed sister, Gladys, was also so "with" me yesterday...
ReplyDeleteXxx
DeleteSo sorry to hear this news. Auntie Glad was one of a kind. I always loved reading about her on your blog. Your sensitive spirit detected her departure from this life at a subconscious level, I have no doubt of that.
ReplyDeleteThat moves me debra
DeleteThank u
Sounds like something more than mere coincidence that you thought of Gladys yesterday. She sounded like a wonderful warm and thoughtful character and I enjoyed reading about her over the years. Condolences John x
ReplyDeleteShe taught me never to be ageist
DeleteEver
Perhaps Auntie Glad came to visit you after she was free of her aged body? I've seen my father twice since he died and that's a fact. You were indeed special to her and still are.
ReplyDeleteHugs!
She had a long and full life. You are lucky you got to know her, John. xx
ReplyDeleteYou have hit the nail on the head Ellen
DeleteI was incredibly lucky to know her
You do know that yesterday's post reads as if you already knew she had left? Sounds to me as if she had come to say goodbye, and left you at her own time, and having made her peace with the world. Consider yourself as having been special to each other. No small praise, no bad memories.
ReplyDeleteDo you know , your comment really did move me greatly
DeleteI do hope it was so
Synchronicity. She was such a pillar of the community. I'm sorry for your and her family's loss. It was obvious that she was always very special to you. -Jenn
ReplyDeleteI was incredibly close to my grandmother who died in 1982….I guess my affinity to a loving, full powered strong elderly lady later in life isn’t rocket science to understand x
DeleteRIP Auntie Gladys. x
ReplyDeleteXx
DeleteShe lives on as long as people remember her. Memory eternal
ReplyDelete2 generations more perhaps xx
DeleteShe sounds like a lovely lady.
ReplyDeletePixie, as a fair newbie you have missed older posts with lots of Gladys stories …I will perhaps rehash the best stories in one post this week
DeleteWhat a great lady. RIP Auntie Glad. You will be missed.
ReplyDeleteThank you jennifer
DeleteI will think of her saying out loud, as she looked proudly at all the baked goods, "Always look for the beautiful everyday." I will make more of a point to look.
ReplyDeleteI need to dig out all of her old quotes from past blog posts
DeleteThese things happen so often that I cannot help but believe that we humans have senses that science is not yet aware of. Sort of sparks-of-energy reception, perhaps. But whatever- you had a lovely connection with Auntie Glad and she played an important role in your life as you did in hers. Thank you for sharing her with us.
ReplyDeleteThis moved me greatly my friend x
DeleteRest in peace, Auntie Glad. And thank you, John, for introducing us to her. I wish there was someway to commemorate her life there in the village. A small plaque or planting perhaps. Sending condolences from California.
ReplyDeleteDo you know I’ve already thought of this
DeleteOne of my plans for supporting the TCA ‘S upkeep of the memorial hall , is to organise a subscription to adopt a pane of glass in the many widows of the hall
In memory of of a loved one
We hope to be holding the flower show too this year
I would like to buy a Gladys jones memorial cup
So sorry for your loss! Many times the same has happened I think people we love come to say farewell and sometimes to comfort us. Faithful reader! From Chicago I am trying to comment more to blogs I love!
ReplyDeleteI would love to think that you are right
DeleteI wondered about Gladys when I read yesterday's post, it was ambiguous. Such an odd cosmic coincidence---synchronicity?, her spirit was with you. 103 is a fine age, may she rest in peace.
ReplyDeleteI expect john is exaggerating as always and he knew the truth already last night.
DeleteNo , it was rue, I didn’t know she had died until this morning
DeleteIt's a shame that you didn't go to visit her more often,how long was it since you last saw your "special friend?"
ReplyDeletePerhaps she no longer recognised you? Even when they forget who someone is a visit can still bring comfort.
Perhaps you've just been too busy.
I will answer this as soon as I moderated it anon for despite its snideness, I feel I need to agree with it.
DeleteAuntie Gladys was in three care homes before and during covid. Since covid hit going on three years so now , I could not of visited her at all.
Before that , I will be honest I visited her four times.
The last visit was in the nursing home that my mother died in.
Gladys was frail and didn’t recognise me , though she did interact a little when I gave her a lovely crochet blanket , which was made by a blog reader.
It broke my heart seeing her like that and in some ways when covid came I was glad I wasn’t able to visit
I was never too busy to call on her then, some of me just didn’t want to see her so frail , and so not the Gladys I will always choose to remember .
You imply I could have done more
And you are right I could of and I didn’t.
The “ special friend” snide remark hurts anon.
For I will always consider her a special friend
I was lucky to have met her, lucky I witnessed her pragmatic powerhouse determined nature
She was loved by so many people
You should have deleted the troll comment John now you are moderated, but I understand just why you didn’t .
DeleteShoulda, coulda woulda!
Using an old lady’s death as stick to beat anyone with is shameful .
Troll you should be ashamed .
Jan
When a loved one has dementia your grief comes forward years before the death itself, something that your blog kind of covered .
DeleteTake no notice of the troll who just wants to tweak your guilt .
I know their motivation, I just wanted to acknowledge that I didn’t see her in the run up to her death
DeleteIt was all too painful
A cowards way of coping perhaps
What an honest response to a negative comment with the intention to bring you down. For what it is worth, I would have done the same. I wouldn’t call it a coward’s way out I would say it was a pragmatic approach. She didn’t recognize you and it broke your heart.
DeleteGiven her daughter reads this blog, you have been very honest in your response. From what I learnt of Gladys from your earlier blog entries, I suspect she would have approved.
Be kind to yourself tonight JG. Give Albert a hug from me and, after tending to your scratches, take care….
And get going on that bloody book!
Traveller
DeleteThat was kind, and I’m moved by it and by you
Thank u
Dementia is a hard slog. They don't remember their visitors, and visitors see very little of their old friends. The question will always be 'when do we leave this world?' Is it when we draw our last breath? Or is it when we cease to recognize the world around us? And I agree. The comment should have been deleted.
DeleteKind words back…one day I might get one of those strange dear hearts.
DeleteI have a relative in a nursing home with dementia, yes it's very hard to cope with and most times when I leave him I cry when I get back in the car. But I visit, he doesn't always recognise me but I visit because I care about him, the staff tell me that he's obviously at peace when I'm there, sitting with him and quietly chatting holding his hand. Who knows what goes on in a dementia riddled mind?
DeleteFor you to say Covid has prevented you from visiting for 3 years isn't quite correct John, yes homes have stopped visiting when there have been outbreaks but there has been visiting at other times even if it's been in a dedicated visiting area without being able to have physical contact. It's not correct to say they've been closed to visitors for the whole 3 years.
I understand that you and others who feel the same can't cope with visiting as it causes you to feel unhappy but to blame some of that on Covid isn't correct.
Cherish your memories.
I agree in part with your point and I wasn’t blaming covid. I made it very clear I could have visited more, especially before covid hit.
DeleteBut as someone who nursed covid patients every day , I would not have visited Gladys anyway. I did not see my own elderly and vulnerable aunt Judy throughout the entire lockdowns and since given her vulnerability
I could cope with visiting anon, I just , didn’t want to
I didn’t want to see the woman and friend so changed .
On reflection , I wish things had been different
I acted in the way I did and on reflection , I’m not beating myself up for it.
I will cherish my memories
And I hope that if dementia comes my way, my loved ones don’t visit me if it causes them sadness
John , you should have moderated this ‘ jan’ comment , she is clearly your troll
DeleteNo worries concerned anon xx troll or not the question has been answered
DeleteThank you for replying John. However you called me Anon and I'm not your anonymous commenter, troll or otherwise, and my name Jan is at the top of the comment. I have commented before on some of your other posts however not often.
DeleteWell I hope you now know where I stand on the matter jan and I feel ok with things
DeleteMay her memory be for a blessing. She seems like a real gem.
ReplyDeleteShe was
DeleteRIP Auntie Glad. She will live on in hearts and minds forever. She was one of a kind, genuine person. You and Auntie Glad shared a lovely connection.
ReplyDeleteMany people still in the village did , only yesterday Bridget from well Street sent me this message
DeleteB ridget Richards
Aunty Glad, I didn't know many people in the village. A young mum with two little girls and a little bit lost. She invited me to her house for tea and cake and made me feel part of this beautiful village. She has lots of stories and a huge heart. I'm really not surprised that she's 102, Emily is now 20 and still has find memories of Aunty Glad xxxx
I too, wondered if you knew she was passing. What a coincidence you should think and write about her. She was a remarkable lady and we will all remember her. My condolences.
ReplyDeleteI had no idea sue. I had been thinking about her all day though …how odd
DeleteI'm so sorry to read this John. Auntie glad certainly live the life. Just imagine all she saw in her lifetime. I'm glad you always have your memories of her. My apologies if my comment shows up twice I'm not sure my first one might have went through.
ReplyDeleteFat fingers I deleted it by mistake
DeleteThank you for your message
Rest Well Auntie Glad. May Angels Sing You To Your Rest.
ReplyDelete🙂
DeleteI'd be interested to know more about her earlier life, did she live in the village all her life? I can't remember if you've done a post about her before you moved there.
ReplyDeleteMay her memory be a blessing to you, John.
Mike
Deletehttps://www.facebook.com/trelawnydmvc/?locale=en_GB
And
http://trelawnydhistory.blogspot.com/2011/04/mrs-gladys-jones-auntie-glad.html
Xxx
Thank you John. What a time and life, eh?
DeleteJohn so sorry for your loss . It’s amazing how people like Gladys who live apparently ordinary lives touch so many hearts .
ReplyDeleteIt is a sad day for the family and friends in the village, everyone was talking about her at the soup hub today
DeleteA beautiful lady! Such fire!
ReplyDeleteThe spirit that won the war
DeleteNot strange, though, really, is it? Just a particularly no-doubt moment that your intuition is working well. Beautiful. -Kate
ReplyDeleteIt was an odd coincidence otherwise…..
DeleteJohn, I'm sorry for the loss of Auntie Glad, although with dementia and frailty it was surely a blessing to her to slip away. She seems like the kind of person who affects many peoples' lives through example.
ReplyDeleteIt was sad to see her when frailty took over but I shall always remember one of the first times I ever saw her…in her mid 80 S leading a long line of villagers walking down the lane when I staged my first allotment open day
DeleteIt could have been a film scene , so amazing
A life well lived John - a tear well spent for you - she deserved it. I remember you talking of her.
ReplyDeleteYes pat ….a lady of similar sensibilities to yourself xx
DeleteGodspeed auntie Glad, a life well-lived. Your kind and gentle ways shone through. Rest in Peace. Jo AbritinTN
ReplyDeleteI’ve always been moved by the way so many people who never knew her , felt that they did
DeleteRiP Auntie Glad.
ReplyDeleteSometimes the last people you expect to be understanding, are the most
She had seen tough times ( she lost a teenage daughter in a car accident, a story which she told me one day which broke my heart) but she was a practical woman who moved to the village when she married her husband ( Bob Railway) and made it her home
DeleteAww Auntie Glad; when you posted yesterday my first instinct was that you were posting to say that she had passed away..coincidence or not she made her presence known before her passing and why not you were friends who meant a lot to each other. She was a wonderfully loyal and practical person who made it easy to love her. I did and never met her. RIP Gladys Jones...your memory will live on in mine and I will speak of you often when my scones fail.. as they usually do; she of perfect scones every time.
ReplyDeleteJo in Auckland
Nicely put Jo
DeleteThank u
ReplyDeleteRIP Auntie Glad. She is a legend on Going Gently. John, your answer to the anon comment is understood. My mum had dementia and was in care. When we were allowed to visit between lockdowns it was painful to see her in that condition and most times I went home in tears. You mourn long before they die.
ReplyDeleteYou do indeed x
DeleteI am at this stage with my mum.
DeleteMost weeks I see her once and take her dog to visit whenever I do unless it is too hot or we have a mission. I frequently leave and cry, and she's been in care for 2 years and was in mine for 8 before that so the journey is hardly new, but the grief does not lessen.
And good for you for continuing , take care of yourself xxx
DeleteI was thinking when I read your last post, gee, Auntie Glad must be rather old now and I couldn't remember you saying she had died. Your life is enriched by having known her.
ReplyDeleteShe’d be touched so many are thinking of her
DeleteMy thoughts are with you for the loss of your beautiful friend.
ReplyDeleteLinda from Alabama
I think the family have gained a lot of support from the blog replies here
DeleteSo sorry for your loss John. RIP Auntie Glad
ReplyDelete👍
DeleteShe touched many who had not me her through your words.
ReplyDeleteHugs
Thank you xx
DeleteHail Aunty Gladys, I too need the sky to shine on my face. You are remembered, and who is remembered lives! No more aging body. May your spirit travel swiftly to beloved arms!
ReplyDeleteTina in west oz.
Nicely put x
DeleteWhat a special lady xx
ReplyDeleteLike so many women of that generation , x
DeleteYes - so strange how you decided to blog about Aunt Gladys on the very day she died. From all you have said about her in the past, she was a special human being - blessed with goodwill, kindness and a real zest for life.
ReplyDeleteyou john, with your gift of storytelling, made her shine for all of us. i've always felt like i knew her personally. people want to be known and remembered and this is the gift you gave her. though she 'left' in some ways a while back, she thanked you on her way out. how wonderful and awe inspiring.
ReplyDeleteThank u x
DeleteJohn, Aunt Gladys loved you, but not for beating yourself up over some anonymous comments. Good-night, Aunt Gladys. We all loved you, like John loved you.
ReplyDeleteMy condolences. I appreciate your honest response to the troll, although I don't understand why anyone treats you the way that "person" does.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
I don’t either , hey ho
DeleteJust imagine how much "fun" that troll person is to know offline! Sheesh. I feel sorry for their family, if any of them have stuck around to be shat upon. Good for you, John, for taking up the mantle of moderation -- particularly as trolls are mostly looking for attention and this way, they won't get it enough to keep them coming back for more. -Kate
DeleteAwww, I think I might shed a tear as well. I think she came to visit. This has happened to me a few times recently, thinking of people out of the blue and found out they passed. What a life well led, RIP Gladys...
ReplyDeleteCheers x
DeleteThe end of an era. I hope someone will pay for a plaque to remember her by.
ReplyDeleteIt’s not easy when the time comes and we loose someone we care about. But you still have lots of happy memories of that special person Mary D
ReplyDeleteShe could fill three chapters in a book
DeleteRest in Peace, Auntie Glad.
ReplyDeleteWhat a very special lady. I feel sad but rejoice at her life.
She made an impact on people she had never met, how remarkable, thank you for sharing her with us all.
I think we shall all weep a little bit for Auntie Gladys. x
ReplyDeleteRest in Peace Auntie Glad. My heartfelt condolences to her family, and to you, John. I too shall shed a tear for that wonderful, indomitable lady who you kindly shared with us. I know I am not alone amongst your readers in wishing that I'd had the good fortune to have met her in real life. x
ReplyDeleteSending condolences from across the pond as Auntie Glad always felt like your relative. May she rest in a better place and know we are remembering her. . . .and her scones X
ReplyDeleteI think you had a special place in her heart too. She wanted to say goodbye.
ReplyDeleteI’m so sorry John. Like so many of your other readers, I felt like I knew her. Thank you for sharing her with us. Big hugs.
ReplyDeleteXoxo
Barbara
My eyes are brimming with tears and I never even met her. I always loved hearing about Auntie Glad. She was an inspiration. Thank you for sharing her and, through your great story telling, making me feel like I knew her.
ReplyDelete