Best Laid Plans

Ten minutes past eight
I finish a twelve hour shift at eight
And the agency nurse that was due to take over from me had not turned up.
A couple of minutes before this one of the patients had pulled out her catheter, and followed this miniature disaster with the biggest " Code Brown " this side of the Welsh Border
It was only the second shift for my support worker colleague and he had forgotten to take two patient's blood sugar results as he was trying to sort out some breakfasts
I managed to take them in between answering a call bell and ringing the care home manager at home, demanding to know what agency I needed to chase up.
Before catching my train to London I was mindful that I had to walk and feed the dogs, get changed and drive to the station.
Best laid plans
The lady with the code brown wailed a repetitive call of " ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?!!!" 
Which I answered with a calming " Of course not!"   But I did mutter under my breath "But I 'll fucking kill that agency nurse if she doesn't turn up!" 
Another buzzer went off , I heard another patient shout " I want a hot cup of tea!" which was followed by a plaintive " in a minute!"  and then the cook put her head around the door and said cheerfully " Someone has just put the tv remote and the Radio Times down a USED toilet" 
I lost the will to live by that point...........

It's 12.04 and the Virgin Train to London has just approached Milton Keynes
I got to my seat in B coach with just 2 minutes to spare  

Great Call

My new Christmas decs remind me of a Ukrainian village 

My last phonecall at Samaraitans was from a guy in prison
Many prisoners get free access to call us if they need to.
The prisioner called himself The Samaritan Angel and he was cheerful and clearly enjoying himself
" I've rang 35 Samaritans already tonight" he quipped
" And I just wanted to tell you all that I love the work you do, am grateful for it and want you to have a lovely Christmas " 
"Thank you mate!" I told him genuiningly amused and moved by his good nature
" Respect to you !" The Angel laughed and he was gone to ring another Samaritan sitting in some phone booth somewhere in the Uk.

A Chatty Post

I'll start with another video sent to me by a choir relative who loves carpets
This time it's us singing Tebe Poem which is  Russian Slavonic hymn which I think we in the bass section actually performed exceptionally well given our small numbers..
After hearing it again, I was rather moved
Enjoy

I had an appointment with the bank today but that got rained Off because of work flu so instead we delivered the outlying village Christmas Cards and gifts  then the dogs and I went for a walk down the old railway line.
With William gone George has been elevated in the pecking order and now has teamed up with Winnie, with whom he now sleeps with on the blue arm chair in the living room every night.
Both potter along nicely together when out which is odd as for the past 5 years they have allbut ignored each other.....pack dynamics eh? Who would have thought it .

Old Scottie and Old Bulldog side by side

I've treated myself to a return ticket to London for Saturday . I know it will be busy and I know I shall be tired after working a night shift tomorrow night but I'm going down to spend the day with Nu. She and her hubby Jimbo had very kindly invited me for Christmas with the dogs but I think it best if I go down for the day on Saturday which will be absolutely lovely.....tiring but lovely ......thank goodness I'm not in work until the 29th after that.

Pat the animal helper called round with my usual Christmas Barabrith which was wrapped in silver foil crowned by a red bow and yesterday I had lunch with an old ITU friend Naomi who bought me some chalet Christmas lights which are incredibly sweet...I've had several gifts of decorations this year.......

I'll leave you with a final carpet based video of the Choir's version of soul Wind from Tuesday night..followed by a fallorn looking Father Christmas on a bench

A dapper middle aged guy watched me photograph him with mild interest
" he looks like I feel" he said with feeling
 " I hate Fucking Christmas"

My Christmas Card To You

Our first song of the evening
A bit ropey but we got there in the end
I'm hidden at the back
My love and best wishes to you all.....enjoy

The Concert

Heulwen and Hattie in the front row 

I'm hidden away back left 

We sang 11 songs to a packed pub and novices Heulwen, Hattie and I could have given at least four more encores as fame went to our heads somewhat.
Singing for an audience has a charm all of its own and even if we slightly bollocked up the Maori hymn Jamie our choirmaster ( now sporting a new 1940's RAF moustache ) looked suitably proud of us as we finished with a rousing multi layered version of Auld Lang Syne
I was stood next to one of the Altos ( a chic looking tall lesbian who had indulged in too many gin and tonics during the meal) and she kept trying to grab my hand and sway with me to the African songs which I found a little disconcerting but I had drunk three pints of beer and one gin and tonic by that stage so swayed like a schoolgirl in a Take That concert with the best of them.
Halfway through the concert a concerned Soprano tiptoed into the bass section to see if our. 92 year old Albert needed a chair and was shooed off by the men who informed her that Albert was doing very well thank you.....the old guy buoyed up with masculine good nature and bright humour lasted the course with only a minor sweat on

I'll post some videos of the concert tomorrow when I get them.
It's been a genuinely sweet .......sweet night.

14 lbs

I've lost my first stone at fat club
I was given lots of praise this morning and a star sticker to go home with !
As I left one woman asked me how I've lost the weight in just five weeks
" Geing petitioned in a divorce" I told her

A Wedding Ring and What WOULD Josh Groban do?

The Christmas Wreath on the front of the cottage

The day before my wedding my sisters gave me a series of gifts
Something old , something new
Something borrowed 
Something Blue.......
The something old was my grandmother's wedding ring, one of the very few bits of jewellery she ever possessed.
I found out this morning that I had mislaid it.
And I was distraught.
Click here to see original blog

After turning the cottage upside down without success and feeling somewhat jaded, depressed and still full of cold
I left the mess to it's own affair and went out to deliver the Village Christmas Cards thinking this mundane job would blow away the cobwebs.
Our choir concert takes place tomorrow night and I am in no way prepared for it. I doubt I shall be able to sing properly given the nature of my man flu but I am determined to give it a go,so I picked one song that I have not been able to practice yet, downloaded the bass section of it onto my phone , put in my earphones and marched around Trelawnyd trying to sing the harmony of You raise me up! as I went....
I almost nailed the first verse when Trendy Carol ( in a very nice cream ski jacket) caught me for a chat. I'd sung it twice more when David from Well Street stopped his van to ,tell me I looked " hip" with my earphones in and one look at Jo's three legged whippet in a pair of hot pants on at the old policehouse made me totally forget the difficult bit where the basses have to La La as the Tenors belt out " on your shoulders!" 
( the hot pants, I was informed , were an effort to stop mini accidents around the house)
A car stopped on London Road just after I dropped Hattie's card at her tiny cottage and two sopranos from the choir waved excitedly, they live in the next village along
" Are you ready for tomorrow?" Soprano 1 asked
I told them both I was heavy with cold
Soprano 2 looked worried after I asked if they could suggest anything would help, and she turned to her friend saying " What would Josh Grobin do at times like this?"
" Mime " answered Soprano 1
It's an option, I thought as I walked for home

In all it took me almost 90 minutes to deliver all 50 cards and when I got back home I was Cold but certainly feeling less stir crazy than I was even though I was faced with the depressing mayhem of untidy drawers and hastily searched boxes and files.
I'd just started to clear up my ring searching mess when the phone went.
It was my sweet natured Welsh solicitor in her best sing song voice.
" I've rung you several times John " she explained and my heart sank thinking what else can go wrong in one day
" I opened some documents you sent me the other week and found a small gold wedding ring tied with a blue ribbon tucked away amongst things " 
She had found my grandmother's wedding ring!!!!

Poor Baby Baby

There is a famous photo of the writer Dorothy Parker that shows her haunted depressive nature. It may of been just a fleeting moment, caught by luck by a journalist's camera but the deadness behind the eyes is unmistakable .
I defy anyone to see any hope in it whatsoever.

I have a patient with such an expression.
She is dementing and at night spends long periods awake in the darkness, her gaze as fixed as Miss Parker's as she waits and longs to go back to a home she has most certainly has forgotten .
She refuses the comfort of a bedroom light, asking for the  one I set hastily set up to be " put out"
The darkness shrouds the reality of a care home bedroom that's not home.

A couple of weeks ago, I called into work to complete some paperwork and took Mary with me.We sought the patient that looked like Dorothy Parker out and carefully I sat  a wounded post op Mary onto her lap.
Mary sniffed a whiskered  chin with good nature as she was patted with a flat palm
And the deadness behind the eyes lifted
" Baby Baby Baby" the patient whispered " poor baby , baby baby"
It's a cruel disease 

Santa's Sack

Ten days to go and I think Ive bought all the gifts I need to. The craze for buying your pets Christmas gifts has thankfully passed me by as I find the whole phenomenon of doggie stockings a pointless and somewhat perplexing activity
So ive saved some money there

Its our choir concert on Tuesday night and as instructed by Jamie our choir master , I invested in a cheapo Christmas Jumper for the night...its my
last major Christmas indulgence..working tonight again do Im off to bed after rubbing the soles of my feet with vicks

Clingy

Strangely, out of all of the cottage animals, it is Winnifred that has been most affected by William's death. Although she remains her usual lugubrious self, the old girl has become more clingy as of late and now will follow me upstairs when I go to the loo or when I go up to make the bed .
Just now, she is sitting my my side as I splutter my way through a lem sip and a packet of tissues, and will no doubt follow me to bed when I go up in an effort to shake this cold I am suffering from.
She's a giant emotional sponge is Winnie.
That's one of her strengths.
And one of her weaknesses.

I'm feeling sorry for myself today as my cold is making me headachey and muzzy.
Being alone with man flu.....made me envious of a gay couple I followed as they were doing their good natured shop around Sainsbury's this morning.
My basket of cold meds, tissues, small bottle of milk and cat food made me feel like a right sad sack.
I miss a cool hand on a hot forehead and a gift of a cup of hot lemon

I have to go into work tonight and tomorrow too..
No work
No pay.

Hey ho

An Unexpected Gift

It's over to you today, dear blog readers! 

Let's have a celebration of nice behaviour! 

Can you share a time when you received an unexpected gift?

A gift out-of-the- blue.

Something that warmed the cockles!

Today I've just did a runaround ...a long list of jobs including another trip to the solicitors 🙁

When I got home I found a lidded saucepan sat at the back door.

A saucepan full to the brim of the most delicious stew

No note, no fanfare  

Just a bloody lovely pan of stew! 

So what unexpected gift have you been given? 

Share it with the group! 

An Invite

The day couldn't get any worse
But it did.......as shit days often do when you don't want them to.
I eventually had a very hot bath and breathed Vicks steam through a flannel over my face, which was nice.
I drank another lemsip with real lemon.
The phone went late afternoon, just after I had lit the Christmas Tree
It was Mrs Trellis, in her usual precise sing song voice
" I just wanted to invite you to share a mince pie and a glass of something one afternoon next week" she said carefully, enunciating every word with care
" I have a rather good sherry and the new range in the kitchen is ever so cosy" 
I started to think of some excuse or other when she added
"It would be lovely for me if you could come " and suddenly all of the day's shite was lifted away by the simple and sincere invitation  of a mince pie and a schooner of sherry.

"I'll shove that Celery Stick up yer........."

I'm not in the mood for bullshit today.
A heavy cold, headache and a run in with a rat run driver who refused to slow down in the lane this morning and almost ran over Albert set me up for a bollock morning which was capped off by more solicitor stress, a small dent in Bluebell where some old fart backed into her in Tesco's car park and finally a minor disagreement with George's groomers  about an uncharacteristic ally hairy tail.......
I should not have got out of bed

Glass Thingies!

Time for some national and international adulation! 

I'm full of cold after night shift so have to miss choir practice  but things have been brightened up by my sister dropping off my homemade glass Christmas decs

How talented am I? 

The Nativity ( alternative use of)

I have a friend called Ruth who I know regards nursing practice through very individualised eyes.
I havent spoken to her in an age but I am sure she will forgive me for sharing this nativity based post which underlines her humour and slight lack of professionalism.

Just before Christmas 1991 we nursed a new patient on our spinal injury ward. The patient was a young nurse from a busy inner city intensive care unit, I shall called her Siohban .A fitness fanatic, she had worked hard in the gym, and at work and typically had not eaten properly. In the middle of the night she had got up for a wee and had become dizzy due to low blood sugers. Unfortunately she had fallen down the stairs paralyzing herself from the chest down.
Siohban came from a large Irish catholic family who visited daily, and they were a family heavily dependent on the hope things would improve for their daughter, a daughter who allowed them to rub her with holywater that would never heal
Faced with her family's blind faith and the reality drummed into her by her career. Siohban finally shut down psychologically and more or less went into a coma or fugue state.
Sometimes this mental 'downtime' lasts mere hours but in Siohban's case hours turned into days and so a concerned Ruth took it unto herself to move things on a bit with the help of several wise men, a couple of wooden donkeys,6  sheep, a cow or two and Mary, Joseph and a fat baby jesus in a manger

" I found these in the store room" Ruth told me breathlessly unpacking a robust looking shepherd
...she was always breathless because she was overweight and always rushing, but she was also excited with an idea to gently bring Siohban back to the world of the living.
" Help me arrange these around her bed" Ruth gasped and like two giggling children we grouped the figures on and around Siohban's prostate figure, so still in her bed.
In sone strange way we found a devout catholic paralyzed patient being surrounded by nativity characters insanely funny.

In retrospect, the whole thing looked totally mad bordering on dreadful bad taste of the biggest order .... but it kind of worked snapping her out of her mental isolation .
Whether it was the giggling that made Siohban open her eyes or the fact a passing staff nurse asked us what the fuck were we up to, but open them she did and after she focused immediately upon the virgin mary looking at her with a benign smile and outstretched arms she swore at Ruth with the practiced ease only the Irish could muster.
The figures were left around Siohban's bed until well after Christmas and Ruth and I became firm friends with Siohban even after her discharge home nearly a year later.

Roasts

I still have no clue who dropped off my Christmas Tree yesterday.
I'm off to bed now for a few hours...work again tonight, so I guess I won't find out today.
One of my patients mentioned just how funny Don Rickles was so , having no real clue of who he was , I googled him the other day.
Not PC nowadays but incredibly funny,
He's entertained me before sleep

Christmas Tree

I think I've got this Christmas Shopping this sorted
Got to Chester for 10 am, buttonholed Marks and Spencer's sales lady to show me where requested "items" were located and boom!!!! All done dusted and sorted before the shopping hoards arrived and the streets were nose-to-nipple with bored looking shoppers.
I rang my friend Nigel for a chat as I sat under an umbrella by the river then went to the Storyhouse to see  midday screening of the Japanese movie Shoplifters which is a powerful but meandering and slightly depressing story of the importance of family.
When I got home I found a miniature Christmas Tree on the doorstep with a simple unsigned  note pinned to it which said " Everyone Needs A Christmas Tree xxx" 
I've set it up in the living room
Whoever left it.....thank you

Diprobase

I was out longer than I anticipated today
The village coffee morning, interviewing for Samaritans then Christmas Shopping in Llandudno

I bought myself a tiny " pourer" from the Mostyn Art Gallery  which I shall use for flowers.
The same camp salesperson  who sold me my chicken print saw to me.
"You like your birds!" he cooed

It was dark when I got home and I found that Mary, bored with my absence, had broken into a tub of diprobase emollient
It's taken a very hot bath and some swafega to clean her properly

Wild Night

It's a wild night outside and the living room is lit only by the fire and some battery run Christmas lights hung around my beloved Manhattan snow globe on the mantelpiece.
The wind is howling around the cottage almost with a roar.
My remaining dogs ( and cat)  are all curled up with me on the sofa......sleeping the night away

"It's an Unfair Cop Gov"

I was stopped by the police today just after entering Sainsbury's car park in Bluebell.
The policeman was nothing but polite and told me he'd just seen me talking on a mobile phone as I was going around the mini roundabout. He was still in his car so it was just a friendly warning through driver's windows.
As I told him I had left my mobile phone on the kitchen table, Winnie blew him sloppy moo moo kisses from the back seat.
And he looked slightly perplexed at my explaination
Apparantly I had been adjusting my bobble hat whilst practicing to the choir version of Freedom Is Coming on the car cd at full pelt.