On the way home

The Piazza Restaurant at the Royal Opera Housewas lovely, the Maître d charming and she soon found out we were twins sort of celebrating our birthday. (Hence the chocolate message )

The ballet was lovely not as charming as Don Quixote, but robust and dramatic with more death scenes you could shake a cod piece at

 

Amanda Holden’s Breasts

 

Titanique is bonkers

Bonkers, bonkers, bonkers

The musical journey of Jack and Rose as seen through the eyes of gay diva Celene Dion ( Lauren Drew) has to be seen to be believed. 

With just 8 performers., all with voices to die for, the songs of Mz Dion as well as favourites like All on my Own and I drove all night, are belted out inbetween dirty injokes, , slapstick and Dion’s accent which sounded more Colombian than French Canadian .

We even had the grinning Layton Williams bursting onto the stage as the Bitch Iceberg dressed as Tina Turner

God it was funny, and everything was made more camp when Amanda Holden appeared above Janet’s head to take her seat, dressed in a low cut leopard print jump suit.and Mick Jaggers lips

London

My sister and I are on our way to London 

It’s my Christmas gift to her

A ticket to see Romeo & Juliet at the Royal Opera House and lunch before hand in the Piazza Restaurant 

I love giving gifts like this

It always means I’m going too !!!! Lol The train is usually relaxing and we are not going to get knackered running around so im not going to stress the arm in any way, which is prudent

we are on the train,  booked into our favourite Z hotel in the centre of Covent Garden

Tonight we are off to see the camp-as-Christmas musical Titanique tomorrow is the ballet matinee of Romeo and Juliet

Janet and I get on in aneasy way

That’s the strength of twins 

We just are

Hope

 

I was driving home from counselling when I heard the news that the Conclave had elected Pope Leo

I was strangely moved to tears.

Coffee with Eleanor

 I went for an X-ray on my neck and shoulder today, more healthcare but this time professional and very slick. I was in a local cafe by 11am which is owned by the family of Mike Peters,the frontman of the band The Alarm , who died a few days ago. My brother looked after his guitars for him and they were kindred spirits so to speak. The cafe was surrounded by floral tributes from fans, friends and villagers which was sweet

Chic Eleanor turned up looking every inch the English lady she is and hugged me for the longest time

“Darling you need a hug and I have them in abundance “ she purred

I didn’t argue.

I moaned and she listened over coffee

It was good to see her

This afternoon I completed a literature search for uni, 

I will leave you with these two videos of well known songs

Genius

Adele’s someone like you and Abba

White Coat Syndrome

 

I was reviewed by the eye clinic consultant today

Apparently I have an abnormal Right eye from a blood vessel bleed which  probably occurred a few years ago

I cannot abide anyone assessing my eyes

A no nonsense nurse that felt as though she could handle herself in a pub fight squeezed painkillers and a pupil dilator in and as I half struggled to stop her , she held me down like a reluctant Virgin to complete her pressure studies 

LOOK FORWARD ! She instructed as if she was training a horse and I tried to comply…..

By the time the consultant reviewed my scans and asked for my blood pressure to be taken it was 200/100

I wasn’t fucking surprised

He frowned and said “This is not good”.

My blood sugar was a little high too but hadn’t dipped after my lunch only an hour before 

I tried to explain I was stressed but he was convinced I was devoid of any moderately healthy symptoms 

I nearly fainted when he said the treatment for my condition was injections into the eye itself 

I wondered if the robust clinic nurse would be doing it? And when? 

An hour later at home my blood pressure was 140/88 and my blood sugar was 6

The Twins

 

I woke with Weaver's serious face staring at me

Bun was sat on my legs

Both purring like German war planes

Drama

 

Blogging can attract a certain type of commentator, a personality that can identify as the persecutor or Critical Parent. In the context of Karpman’s Drama Triangle the Persecutor is an overly critical, demanding and controlling type who actively seeks to maintain power by blaming, criticising and punishing others. 

They are often judgemental and can seek to dominate the interaction by manipulation and the adherence to rules.

They bully.

lol are any of you having a light bulb moment? 

The other roles within the triangle are the Rescuers and the victims and by playing each role the drama can continue. Awareness is the key, awareness and recognising what roles you are playing in the interaction, having the ability to laugh and point at it or like an adult to be able to remove the interaction from play.

Trolls are personality damaged people, they seem unable or unwilling to leave their persecutor role which is an awfully sad place to find yourself in.

Mary Used To Like Cats

7 years ago 

Mary and Albert 

 

Saturday

 

If you are of a certain age and British, this clip will bring back many happy memories of an early Saturday evening. 

Not much to report or talk about today. 

Shut Up And Dance

This is my favourite dance song, not that I do a lot of dancing nowadays.

The video has been edited well as you can see.

It always brings a smile to my face

I met my friend Polly for coffee at breakfast time . She is a doctor and a friend I can trust and bizarre as it sounds she gave me a neurological exam whilst we sat in the Bryn Williams cafe window.

She thinks my arm weakness may be a result of muscle damage and suggested I go for an ultrasound .

I’ve emailed my doctor with her suggestions 

Skirmish

A quiet war has been raging in the cottage 

It’s all very subtle

So subtle I have missed it 

Last night I noticed that Mary wasn’t curled up asleep on the couch as per her norm

I found her sat next to the cat flap looking innocent

If she could whistle, she would have done it

I knew something was afoot.

A flash of eyes told me the story, golden eyes outside the cat flap 

Bun or Weaver were waiting to come in

Mary was the gatekeeper 

And was letting no bugger inside

Old dogs eh ? 

They can be real twats

 

Being Looked After

 Sometimes as Karpman postulated in the 1960s there is a need for some of us to take on the victim role.

I don’t say this lightly or sarcastically, I just think that sometimes us human beings need and want to be looked after. 

My GP asked me what I thought about trying out work with my weakened arm. 

I was wearing my big boys pants and was just about to say let’s give it a go! When something stopped me , 

I wasn’t sure , I was in two minds and I wanted him to make the decision .

Sometimes all you need is for someone to take over.

And he did. 

He signed me off for a month and promised to chase my tests up.

He was kind, and I needed him to be kind.

This morning I rang my old counsellor up and asked her if she had a free moment

She did

And  an hour later I was sat with her talking about my feelings of being ill and the vulnerabilities that unleashes. 

I talked myself quiet for a therapeutic hour

And I talked myself still.

My counsellor shook her head when I prepared to pay her,

She simply smiled and said “ Im retired”

Bees

 I’ve been in college today, only two more official weeks to go and that’s it! 

I got home around 3.30 and was faced with the oddest thing

30 or so honey bees on the inside of the closed window

All buzzing loudly

I opened the window wide to let them out

How odd

Flowers

 

I pick wild flowers from the hedgerow sides some mornings. The hedges are cut regularly to keep the lane open, so I’m not doing a disservice to any species

So Lonely

 The hidden disease in the Modern world is loneliness .

I see this in many of my clients where isolation and loneliness contributes to brittle mental health 

If the nhs can make a friend for people in need, the country would be saved literally millions I can tell u.

It’s so true.

The video is from Trelawnyd villager Kelda who produces a daily video entitled 

“ This is the day in the life of a lonely person who wants to tell someone about their day” 

Kelda is a talented video maker and manager and I hope to get her on board for this years flower show

Watch her tiktok videos they are a hoot, but a hoot with a serious message 

Loneliness  is a nasty affliction .

I know I’ve told the story of the woman I once washed on Intensive Care who shared the fact tha I had been the first person to physically touch her in 17 years. 

Such a fact is more than sobering 

That woman gave me two baby turkeys as a sort of thank you

That in itself says enough. 

I saw my friend Ruth for breakfast last Friday and we hugged a goodbye.

I held on to that hug a second or two more than I usually would 

Such is the physical need of loneliness .

I can own it ….and share it

This afternoon one of my clients had a crisis related to isolation and together, with  the pro active mental health team on call, tragedy has been averted 

And so if you meet someone who talks to you a little too long at the shops or a friend who rings you a little late at night please take a big breath and realise that that person may be in need your input a little more than you realise. 

As a new counsellor one of my clients shared that she had spoken to no one else but me for the whole week. I reminded her that I had heard her and that she had a voice and that made her cry 

And cry hard to hear…….

We should all have a voice

We should all be heard.

I understand loneliness 

I’ve lived it. 

I’ve coped with it 

It’s nasty affliction that no one should suffer from it, so reach out! 

Please do something about it if you can 

  

A Siamese Cat in a Wind Tunnel

 Me and my sister Janet went to the cinema last night. The film The Accountant 2 was shite but we both said it was nice to get out of the house even though the best we could say about the film was that it was short . Ben Afflick’s Botox stole the acting honours.

My first boyfriend overused Botox in later yearsand the last photograph I saw of him ( on a gay dating site) he looked like a Siamese cat caught in a wind tunnel .

Thank fuck I’m not that vain.

Mind you there are no wrinkles on a balloon as they say in Sheffield 

 

Today I’m writing an essay, my last one for university 

I’ve put chilli broth in the slow cooker for supper and breakfast is

Avocado on whole meal toast with poached eggs with The Archers Omnibus of course

Bliss

I’ve given the Welsh an extra large eggs each to play with and eat

Eggs make their coats shine

Solala from Sweden

Ps

The scene of Pope Francis’ lifelong friend the nun, Sister Genevieve breaking protocol unchecked to say goodbye to her friend left me in tears….I loved that the Vatican staff respected her and left her alone 

20 Years

 Arfon stopped his van to chat. 

He’s done it now for twenty years

Always cheerful, in his sing song Welsh way.

His mother Gwyneth lived in the family farm across the shallow valley and was a firm favourite of mine

She too had a sing song voice, which she never raised beyond a whisper.

She and Olwenna Hughes were the First Ladies I met when I came to Trelawnyd

They were peeping in the lounge window, pretty sure that the cottage was empty. 

I caught them in the lane and introduced myself, Olwenna had fat ankles and couldn’t be hurried.

Arfon asked me how long I had lived in the village before we had discussed heat pumps and how he had used the wrong grout to point his farmhouse 

“ Twenty Years” I told him

It is twenty years this summer.

I’ve never lived in one place for twenty years

Sheffield, my spiritual home took 16 of my salad years, York before that only four or so

Arfon was surprised it was two decades at Bwthyn y Llan

I’m still collating my counselling portfolio today and will do so until 7 pm when I’m off to the cinema with my sister, some trashy thriller but it gets me out of the house

I will leave you with the latest offering from my lisping choir

Enjoy

Coffee

 I'm early 

I'm always early.

I hate being late for anything.

Its a trait thats endearing to some( Nu finds it amusing) but irritating to othets ( my sisters are fashionably late for EVERYTHING.)

Im meeting a friend for breakfast and Im 30 minutes early.

Who cares.

I have a counselling mentor at the mental health centre I've been working at, who is no nonsense and Yorkshire in her ways.

She calls a spade a spade which I like and after a long wait, she's given me my portfolio feedback which included a comment about punctuality. 

"John is always well prepared for client appointments with his usual smile and cup of coffee in hand.

He is consistant and has a natural unforced warmth which he uses well to welcome clients and collegues alike"

I liked this informal burst of feedback and thanked her for it, making her blush a little

" dont get too big headed" she added " I could have mentioned the usual coffee drip stains on your T shirts but I didnt"

Im sat here and looked down at my trendy brown hoodie front

Yeap, there they were!

Vinegar Tits and The Crackhead Whores

Vinegar Tits on patrol

 A Memory,

Yesterday I  rested at home. 

The power was off in my cottage and Mandy and John's next door from 6 am ( how odd given yesterday's drama) so we had to wait for the linesmen to put up another line to replace the faulty one which took most of the day.

I wrote notes and made tea from boiling water donated by neighbours

Mr Posnân stopped to chat ( after he spied the flashing lights of the linesman truck)

He chatted about the Ukrainian village like old men do about the past

 He reminded me that over Fourteen years ago, I took in a group of a dozen hens that had been badly mistreated. (He watched me offload them from the belingo)

They had been housed in dreadful conditions , were underfed, bald and dreadfully bullied. 

But I hoped they had potential so I took them in and housed them in their own warm , clean hen house with plenty of food.

They had no cockerel but were watched over by a black eyed grey alpha female who had attitude and like all hens in a large group, they had the potential for trouble, as they outnumbered most of the smaller hen groups in the Ukrainian village

Rather uncharitably I nicknamed them The Crackhead Whores with the alpha singled out as Vinegar Tits ( the hero of the Australian Prison Soap Prisoner Cell Block H

The surviving group, well fed and happy

I learned a great deal from The Crackheads. I learned that With patience, space, time and good conditions the group that survived their first winter would become beautiful hens and great layers And Vinegar Tits became more of a cockerel than any of the resident males, even to the extent of running towards an attacking fox when the less dominant hens and ducks and turkeys galloped for the cover and the safety of the village buildings and the Guinea fowl flew up into the Churchyard Ash trees, screaming their warnings to the field.

I miss those days sometimes but couldn’t return to the hard physical slog it was to keep the field population healthy and happy

Mr Posnän agreed thoughhe still missed the duck eggs

It was lovely to see the photos again yesterday