I'm early
I'm always early.
I hate being late for anything.
Its a trait thats endearing to some( Nu finds it amusing) but irritating to othets ( my sisters are fashionably late for EVERYTHING.)
Im meeting a friend for breakfast and Im 30 minutes early.
Who cares.
I have a counselling mentor at the mental health centre I've been working at, who is no nonsense and Yorkshire in her ways.
She calls a spade a spade which I like and after a long wait, she's given me my portfolio feedback which included a comment about punctuality.
"John is always well prepared for client appointments with his usual smile and cup of coffee in hand.
He is consistant and has a natural unforced warmth which he uses well to welcome clients and collegues alike"
I liked this informal burst of feedback and thanked her for it, making her blush a little
" dont get too big headed" she added " I could have mentioned the usual coffee drip stains on your T shirts but I didnt"
Im sat here and looked down at my trendy brown hoodie front
Yeap, there they were!
What lovely feedback. The comment about the coffee drip made me laugh.
ReplyDeleteShe said it somewhat wryly, another Yorkshire trait as I recall
DeleteVery cool feedback, but we all see that in you, even though we have never met. I guess you need to bring a clean, unstained tee for your client meetings, or not. Maybe they will relate better seeing that you are not perfect. Gigi
ReplyDeleteI always have a spare jumper in the car, just in case
DeleteI am always early too. My kids say that if I am not a half hour early that I am late. It really annoys me when someone is late. I feel lateness is disrespectful. Gigi
ReplyDeleteI’ve blogged about my hatred ( and it is that powerful a reaction ) before. Mine stems from my father who used to give us a lift to school in winter but would do so begrugingly and at the last possible minute, I’ve wrapped my anger at him with anyone acting late
DeleteLatecomers in the theatre drive me bananas
With our little granddaughters, we avoid drips on their fronts by choosing from a selection of bibs. There's no reason why a dyspraxic adult should not wear a bib. Maybe you can get a "Walking Dead" themed bib or one with Welsh terriers on the front.
ReplyDeleteI was sent one by a blogger at Christmas , an adult bib lol
DeleteShe has your number, John!
ReplyDeleteShe’s not a bullshitter , and you can’t “ kid a kidder”
DeleteNice feedback for you. I'm sure that made you feel warm inside.
ReplyDeleteMy middle daughter is always early, ridiculously so. She arrives so early for a train that she's often able to catch the previous one!
I'm skin-of-the-teeth on time.
I’m shallow and needy enough to adore nice feedback
DeleteWe all are.
DeleteWhat lovely words from your mentor. Your personality and your ability to feel is what makes you a good counselor; you cannot teach innate warmth or true caring which counselors need to establish good client relationships. I am an always-early person. I was taught that being continually late is quite rude, and is a sign of selfishness.
ReplyDeleteI’ve wrong footed amany at the centre as
Delete1. I’m male ( a rarity in counselling)
2 I’m older
I tend to be early, always early. But rarely drip.
ReplyDeletelol I can say nothing to that lol
DeleteEarly is the only correct way.
ReplyDeleteI hear u 🛩️✈️🤗
DeleteI'm always early, too. I always allow for traffic or getting lost.
ReplyDeleteBe prepared …I should have been a scout
DeleteShe seems to know you well. I’m usually very early for everything. If I’m not, I get stressed. But I also usually do NOT have coffee stains on my shirts. Usually.
ReplyDeleteMy ex husband was and is fastidious , I mousy have driven him bananas lol
DeleteAnother early bird here. I find it interesting that many of your readers (so far) have commented we are early people. I have always felt it rude to be late. I have friends on both sides of that thought - some think it is rude to be early. However, I will add that in my 60+ years of living I have only had one person directly scold me for being early. It was a neighborhood book club meeting.
ReplyDeleteEarly people In my view are more control freaks
DeleteGo figure
Interesting comment from you John. I need to think about that as I have never been accused of being a control freak.
DeleteI'm also an early bird. Airports especially.
ReplyDeleteOh welcome to my word dear sir
DeleteWorld
DeleteCoffee stains? Do you have a hole in your cup that the coffee dribbles out of?
ReplyDeleteThat was some lovely feedback. Well done.
I have a degree of dyspraxia
DeleteAnd my recent weakness in my r arm has made that more difficult to navigate
Well now I feel like shit. Sorry. The dirty t-shirts make sense now.
DeleteMy father was Air Force and raised us to believe that Early was On Time, On Time was Late, and Late was Unacceptable.
ReplyDeleteMy dad was AF too and he was always very late! His mantra as a pilot was ''the plane won't leave without me."
DeleteBob
DeleteI hate to rush
I hate to be stressed
So early stops both negatives stone dead
Lizzy
DeleteI enjoyed that x✈️
Oh well. Coffee drip stains on the front of your shirt might well be reassuring to clients who will immediately sense that you are as human as they are and not apt to judge. A sense of comfort will ensue.
ReplyDeleteThat's my theory.
Mary
DeleteI use my size and age to good use
As I know I come over as warm and benign which in counselling can be useful .
.
I seem to remember you used to have bleach stains everywhere as well - Bel Ami
ReplyDeleteOh deArheart you know me well ……and has seen me at my worst ( as best friend and long time Yorkshire neighbour)
DeleteAh, so that's why I am part of the Going Gently family - clearly recognised a kindred spirit!
ReplyDeleteI am also always obsessively early, and also always messy. My husband always insisted I should never wear anything white as I was " a muck magnet." Hardly elegant! But I like to think such imperfection is seen as oddly endearing (nothing to do with not being clean, just cack handed) and, even more oddly, trustworthy.
Which explains such human and heartening remarks. Be proud of such an assessment, and such honesty. Truly 'seeing ourself as others see us.'
Oh the phrase “ crack handed”
DeleteMy mother’s favourite description of me
Years of critical parenting in two words
My mother always said “cack handed”.
DeleteLol
DeleteI looked it up, cack not crack seems the usual. So mum wasn't always right, was she.
DeleteI too thought it was "cack handed" - regional variation perhaps? And yes, people seem oblivious to hurting children by these careless critical phrases! My gran used to say "I hope you are a GOOD boy (girl)" in very skeptical tones. She asked my son (then maybe 4) who said, being a fan of the Mary Poppins movie, "I am practically perfect in every way". She was speechless, I was delighted.
DeleteCeci
I love this post! Such lovely feedback. I'd rather be an hour early than a minute late. And I usually have a fine dusting of food or drink down my front, too. We're human after all! xx
ReplyDeleteMy sister x
DeleteYour sister !! A or J ??
DeleteIgnore that last post…..
DeleteJohn do they not make stain remover where you live?? lol A little spritz before you throw it in the wash usually does the trick...lol Nice that she took the time to give you such personal feedback... thats invaluable... Hugs! deb
ReplyDeleteDeb , see the comment below, I’m evolving xx🩷🙏🌈
DeleteThat is great feedback.
ReplyDeleteOn time or a bit early works for me too.
A friend carries a small spray bottle of stain remover for occasional accidents. Surprisingly, to me, it works.
Susan, I read your advice earlier and bought some leaving it in bluebell…I hang my head in shame
DeleteDo you remember "dabitoff" ?
DeleteWhatever was in it I'm sure you could get high on it..took ones breath away 😳
I’m on a learning curve
DeleteGood to receive such lovely feedback from someone who doesn't do bullsh*t.
ReplyDeleteShe has also offered me sessional work in the department after I qualify
DeleteI spill stuff on myself all the time. I bought three new t-shirts this week and the first thing my husband said was, "Better not eat or drink in them or they'll be ruined.." and he's 100% right.
ReplyDeleteWith me, it always seems to end up being oil stains (from cooking) that just won't come out. But I've spilled my fair share of coffee and wine, too. And tomato based sauces? Forget it. Right onto the girls, if you know what I mean!
Oh Jennifer are you my daughter????
DeleteOnly if you got started (ahem!) REALLY young. Ha!
DeleteWe will have that gin one day xx
DeleteI look forward to it my friend!!
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteNice feedback! Tho I can't believe she actually mentioned your drippy tee shirts, was that a bit rude? The little stain remover spray is really useful and works. Going forward w new clients you may wish to seem self respecting and clean, lol.
ReplyDeleteEarly/ late. I'd be late if left to my own wishes but I try to respect others and be on time. Never ever early. ''Early is such bad manners'' [I was taught growing up]. My ex was always early, very early, and then angry when I'd arrive on time---''late'' in his high expectations world view.
Not rude, just playful , I think it signified a change in our relationship which had initially been somewhat forced upon her ( my original mentor left the department unexpectedly )
Deletebtw I don't think you are needy or shallow at all to want and enjoy positive feedback! You have worked so hard and put in so much effort, the motivating assessment from a mentor is so well deserved.
DeleteOh I can be xx
DeleteI too am always early and would rather be much too early than a little late. Lovely compliments for you apart from the drips but shows you are only human.
ReplyDeleteShe was playing with me, which I liked because it was a first , and proved that our relationship had evolved
DeleteWhat a lovely comment about you. I too am an early bird and have a tendency to wear what I have been eating.
ReplyDeleteI must admit just before one client arriving I noticed Roger footprints on my top.
DeleteI apologised to my client which broke the ice as she was a dog lover
I would find the coffee/food stains distracting and unprofessional. Shallow? Perhaps, but first impressions do count. Carry a spare shirt!
ReplyDeleteI’d go with if I clicked with a counsellor rather than if he dribbled like a bulldog
DeleteLee
Veg, it is like all stereotypes …just generally true…a lot of the time I’m professionally neat, which is new for me as an usual uniform wearer
DeleteLee..it’s ok you don’t have to defend me all of the time xxx 🌈🩷🙏😊
DeleteI’m very protective Squire
Delete🌈🐻
lol xx
DeleteHow endearing.
ReplyDeleteHugs!
I concede that to some it’s disrespectful , I blame my dyspraxia
DeleteOf course! That's beyond your control so is totally at fault.
DeleteHugs!
Good feedback. You got the important stuff right - you can't train warmth or empathy, however, for dripped on shirts there are always "stain sticks" and laundering.
ReplyDeleteWill Jay
I do endeavour to be neat and tidy
DeleteAt home, I wear an bibbed apron since I drip and spill stuff. Mine are calico, but men here in Pennsylvania have white bibbed ones made for grilling. Aprons seem more adult than just bibs. Out and about, I usually have a spare shirt in my car. At 67, I don’t think I’ll ever outgrow this small problem.
ReplyDeleteYou seem to have the important things well in hand!
I use napkins more than I did
DeleteLovely feedback JG.
ReplyDeleteXx
DeleteI am always getting drips of something on my clothes, I now wear scarves most of the time which can be easily removed to present a clean outfit 🙂
ReplyDeleteThat is a great tip, one I shall take up, being a "mucky pup" as my mum always called me 😄
DeleteI am annoyingly 'ON TIME'. It was beaten into me at school, and has remained with me ever since.
ReplyDeleteI am always early too as I am no good at rushing and feel I am being rude if late. Also it makes me feel very on edge if late.
ReplyDeleteGreat feedback, and I love that she noticed the drip stains, but found that the lovely attitude you have, far outweighed any reason to mention them.
ReplyDeleteWell, at least the hoodie was brown!
ReplyDeleteI would be in the always early camp. I would rather be an hour early than a minute late, whenever I go anywhere new for a "client" I used to drive to wherever the day before so I knew where to park, recognised the house, etc. These day's it's so much easier because of Google maps but I am still early. I always present on time but arrive early, I would rather inconvenience myself than my client. Don't know what that says about me but I'm too old to change now! I always check my clothing before I go out as I have a tendency to put my clothes on inside out! Many a time I have someone tell me my label is showing!
ReplyDelete