Bloods

 New GP , jaunty practice nurse

Apologies for not being chased up

I’m not surprised but I’m diabetic 

Lots more tests, clinics, bloods, meetings booked

I’m back in the system 

GP thinks I’ve been depressed but have pushed through it ! 

Pulling bra straps come to mind.

Non of this is rocket science 

Get on with it John.

Bowls

 I usually work Sundays so with tonight free I went to the indoor bowls night at the village Hall

I really enjoyed it.

About sixteen villagers were there ( mostly men ) so I knew all but around four people . The ones I didn’t know were very friendly , including a farmer my own age who kept boosting my confidence after I told him I was always chosen second to last at games in school , and that was only because last place Alan Jones had a built up shoe!!!!

I was shit, but like I said I enjoyed the banter and the game itself …..

I shall go again 

Growing Up

 

Another bout of nasty weather approaches, so I thought it the right time to open the cat flap.

Weaver left the cottage first followed by Bun and as I predicted both didn’t venture too far in the cold and wet. Roger was beside himself and kept looking at the cat flap then to me as if to say “what’s happening Dad.?”

I tried to keep busy like parents do when their toddlers go to play school for the first time 

Hey ho

Hunkering Down

 I slept until 2 pm and did some shopping.

As usual , I parked in the mother and child spot and almost had a row with a woman who took umbrage with my explanation that the Welsh ARE my children. I say almost, I’m not in the mood for battling , not today. I just smiled sweetly 

She didn’t smile back.

Sometimes , I get a little weary of being the one who hires and fires all of the time. 

I have an appointment at the doctor’s surgery on Monday to discuss my recent blood tests and it was nice that a friend at work, who knows, gave me a kiss on the cheek as way as a support last night.

Like I said , I’m a little tired doing everything on my own.

But there is no alternative and we plod on, don’t we ? 

I’ve cooked butter beans and chillies, and made a thick fish soup with cod steaks and park Choi , walked the dogs and lit the fire . 

Tomorrow I’m going bowling in the village hall, which sounds rather third age but all rather fun, but tonight I’m hunkering down on the couch

Éowyn

 It’s rough.

I woke to the roar of the wind and Weaver angrily swiping claws at my toes.

The wind has a real edge to it, and even the Welsh who love a leisurely walk and sniff, kept their heads down and pulled for home. 

The ponies, as she had predicted stood with their backs to the wind in the shelter of the hawthorn hedges and the private windmill at Marion Mawr ,far across the valley, whirled crazily.

I checked the village Facebook page, 

The Arla cattle crossing near Sarn had been closed by fallen trees, but no one has suffered power cuts yet.

I think the school is closed too

I’m working a single night shift tonight which will be fun getting to, I will add to the post later

Gimmie

 I moved away from home properly when I was 23

I moved to York in the dead of winter

York which is the backdrop of the new police drama Patience

Patience is a police researcher who has autism , so that twist is the whole nuance of the series.

It’s a little predictable but it’s watchable and well done but more importantly it visited an old haunt I haven’t returned to in thirty six years.

In last night’s episode I grabbed a glimpse of the Hole In The Wall pub which still lies just inside Bootham Bar ( or gate in the Walls) 

I had been the new psychiatric nurse for only a few weeks when I joined the staff on a Christmas Night out at The Hole In The Wall, and as I walked in, all fearful and shy I was met by a roar of warmth by my new colleagues . Geordi Pete, Cath Sylvester, Tracey Birkin , Mandy, Anne O’Neil, Linda M, Brid, Gordon, and others

An hour or two later , arm in arm with whoever was near I found myself belting out the chorus of ABBA’s Gimmie Gimmie Gimmie ( a man after midnight) feeling I’d come  home 

The story comes full circle soon as I’ve planned to meet with one of that group, namely  Tracey Birkin in York in the spring. 

We reconnected on Facebook recently amid much emotion 

Nosfeatu

 

A couple of years I went to the Storyhouse to see a showing of the 1922 silent version of Nosferatu complete with a live musical score. One famous scene had Max Schreck climbing slowly out of a ship’s hold and this stands up to this day as one of cinema’s famous horror moment. The 2024 Roger Egger’s version pays homage to the original by presenting some amazing visual set pieces and truly impressive cinematic moments but by the end of 160 minutes I was praying for someone to dispatch a rather disgusting looking monster quick stix!!! 

It just wasn’t very scary 

I had a Phad Thai as a treat afterwards 

I will leave you with another fine blast of the lisping choir, I was there watching from the back row

Flirt

 

College until mid afternoon, before I took Trendy Carol’s hubby to an appointment in Prestatyn. I went to Tesco’s as I was waiting for him and got cruised by an attractive older man with a big beard who was working on the checkout. Lots of direct stares a couple of smiles and a big hello there as I passed his till.

I was very flattered. It made my day

When was your last flirt? 

I Will Not Forget You (From "Testament of Youth")

Today I spent half an hour , sat still and silent next to a hospital bed.

The door was open so I could see people stepping quietly by

This music was playing

I think I will always remember it.

Sipping Coffee

I heard the clip clop of the ponies’ hooves when I was sipping coffee in the kitchen. Roger barked as they passed the kitchen window and I could hear the twins scampering across the bedroom floorboards to watch from the window seat. 

The ponies return is a big deal on Cwm Road

Not fully caffeinated, I marshalled the Welsh and we drove to Parisellas in Colwyn Bay for breakfast. It was cold but we sat outside  and shared a table. By force of habit Mary sat on her own seat. Roger sat on the floor making googoo eyes at any passing dog.

I ordered a flame hot americano and a sausage bap which we shared

A group of people opposite seemed amused by Mary’s politeness and asked about her. 

She’s my old girl I told them and they smiled at her obvious age, the slightly milky eyes, the patchy coat then they “ oohed and aahed” as she sat on my knee, warming herself inside my coat flaps 

She is an old gal, not that long for this world now 

And as I thought that, I enjoyed the thump, thump thump of her heart as she pushed herself against my chest, and I sipped at my coffee

 

Faghags and Staghags

 I think most mature women with any sense will have one gay man as a friend.

These women are not faghags ( the derogatory name for a woman who spends most of her time in the company of gay men) nor are they lacking female friends.

It’s just that I think that most mature women who have an emotional intelligence like the company of a gay man .

And visa versa of course.

Having a gay bestie means you are in the sex and the City Club ! 

You are either a Carrie or a Charlotte

( but most women I think identify more with Miranda as she is the most sorted of the quartet) 

I don’t quite fit into the gay best mould mainly because I’m too scruffy

A gay best friend should be immaculately dressed and ideally look like Jonathan Bailey

I gain kudos points for being more emotionally intelligent than most and having a sense of humour

I’m not a stag hag either, which helps ( stag hags are gay men who just love the company of usually older gay men ) 

I’m eclectic in my friend choices but I do like women friends, they are special 

I think, I like them because they are more tactile than most. 

I can link arms and hug and kiss with my female friends with an ease

Now I must say here that I have gay and straight makes friends which I hug and even kiss but having a female friend is different in the heteronormative world .

I guess it’s easier all round.

Hey ho

Jobs Done

It’s taken all day but I’ve finally cleaned up and dried the kitchen and shampooed the living room carpets

Free of wet paw prints and slime. 

I’m knackered. 

But the cottage now smells of lemon and disinfectant and the humidifier given to me by the velvet voiced Linda has done its job rather well so that the windows are no longer misted.

There is something rather satisfying in a tidy house

Pizza for supper ( the Welsh love the crusts)

 

 

Bollocks

 

When we got home after counselling earlier I suddenly noticed Roger standing in the kitchen doorway looking worried.

He had his usual “It’s not my fault” expression on his face and suddenly I  heard the sound of dripping water.

The bathroom sink had overflowed and the water had leaked down into the kitchen to a depth of an inch.

The twins were sat on the kitchen table, marooned 

Both yowled at me loudly

I swore like a docker. 

Life is like this is it not?

Nice positives yesterday

Fuck off disasters today 

Bollocks twat cunt !!!!

Walking Out On Callas

 I’m running late.

Last night I caught up on sleep and although I’m not quite right, I feel a little more rested.

I drank tea from my new dinosaur cup and planned the day

I have to drive over to Abergele to see my clients, not too far but. 22 mile around trip.

Last night I went to see Maria 

It was dreadful. Lazily written and a showcase for Angeline Joline rather than Maria Callas herself., the story of the last two weeks of the Diva’s life was little more than a pout on screen. 

You see a lot of Joline and very little of Callas 

And that was a shame. 

I walked out

Sue was in the field yesterday.

The ponies return very soon

What fun

Praise

First thing I drove to Holywell Hospital for a blood test with an overly brusque phlebotomist, so treated myself to Avocado and eggs on sourdough at Sainsburys. 

It was nice to get out of my pyjamas, but I was tired out by lunchtime, so I had  small nap before supervision

Every two weeks I meet with a specially trained senior supervisor to discuss my clients 

Supervision is ..

 "A specialised form of mentoring provided for practitioners responsible for undertaking challenging work with people. Supervision is provided to ensure standards, enhance quality, advance learning, stimulate creativity, and support the sustainability and resilience of the work being undertaken."

I enjoy supervision

Today my supervisor shared something with me as I was discussing a somewhat challenging client. 

“ You’ve changed “  she observed simply 

The comment took me by surprise so much that I went quiet 

“ You are becoming an effective counsellor “ she added with a gentle smile

And suddenly I was a child again, thrilled at some much craved for praise and acceptance “ 

PTSD

 I couldn’t make college today but still had to get my podcast assignment turned in to turnitin to be marked. The podcast outlining best practice of the disorder PTSD was a ten minute snap shot recording which sounds simple enough to complete unless you have a wracking cough , flu and two kittens determined to get in on the action.

My fifth attempt had me swearing for fucks’  sake!!! at the eight minute mark as the twins yowled loudly  under the kitchen door. My sixth was aborted after some Typhoid Mary coughing and several more for fucks sake ! Yells.

I swear I was in tears by attempt twelve. 

I almost got dressed and went around to sailor John next door, to see if he would present the whole thing for me , but I pushed through, had a lemsip and thought What would Angela Rippon do in this situation?

Big breaths and carry on!

I nailed it on my 17th attempt save for several muffled coughs and one contained fart .

My recent academic poster earned me an A which I was tickled pink about, let’s see how this goes

A Man Eaten By His Cats

 I’ve just got up

Just before 8pm I realised that I’ve been in bed for 24 hours.

Ewan ( Trendy Carol’s hubby) kindly collected the dogs this morning so I could fester in my own Petrie dish of a bed all day. 

I’ve not moved except to feed the twins and to urinate 

And that was a trial 

I’m shivery so downed paracemol and was grateful to have some chicken soup left by Mrs Trellis in a vintage thermos ( the one with the cork stopper) to drink. I’ve forced myself to light the fire, and am wrapped in my duvet on the couch. 

Confused by it, Roger gave it a quick wee on the corner

I haven’t bothered wiping it yet

Being single and unwell is a ball ache

When I was in my late 30s and alone in my Hillsborough house I suffered a late bout of Chicken pox which floored me. 

It was the only time I honestly thought I was dying , and I remember then thinking my cats Betty and Joan would be happy eating my corpse after my demise.

I was effectively single then, 

My partner at the time was an arse.

Today Weaver watched me carefully from her corner of the bed. 

It was afternoon

I presumed it was Weaver as she refused to approach me , and sat there stoically with narrow eyes

“ fuck off” I moaned at her “ You’re only waiting for me to die” 

I’m sure she was smiling

The fire has gone out because I’ve not tended it

We are all off to bed again

Sunday

 It’s four pm and I’m not going into work

I’ve finally succumbed to that nasty virus which is doing the rounds,and have retired to bed with four organic hot water bottles. 

Two kittens on one side, two Welsh on the other.

My body is checkpoint Charlie, with Weaver darting occasionally over the border in order to smack an odd ear or wagging tail.

Best laid plans ! 

I’ve eaten some fruit that’s all 

It’s now not long after seven and I’ve just got up to walk the dogs, albeit briefly . 

I’ve showered in a hot shower ( with Mary who needed a bath) .the Welsh adore hot showers btw

And I’ve put beans and spiced sausage in the slow cooker to make soup and I’m going back to bed dressed in long johns and several walking dead t shirts 

This flu virus is vicious

Nothing Day

 I’m going to quiet on Going Gently for a few days

I will be on night shifts some extra to cover staff absences.

The extra money will be useful . 

It’s minus 2 here today and I’m going back to bed soon as a sleep before night shifts is the only way I make it through nowadays.

The Welsh love this siesta time and climb under the duvet with enthusiasm 

It’s antisocial though and for the next five days I’m not going to see a soul save for people at work

I hate that

I had brunch at sainsburys  

And lit the fire when I got home 

Counselling

 

I’m back counselling today. 

It was icy and road conditions were difficult, but I got to MIND early, had a zoom meeting with my supervisor then saw clients until three.

My head was full, so I dropped into the one and only Starbucks ( something I never do ) for a coffee, ham something and a self debrief.

The coffee house was filled by women and girls on laptops.

I sat and made mental notes about my clients, that way you leave the emotions they share with you at the door. Having Said this there is always the moment you can pick those emotions up and that’s a real no no Human , but a no no. 

If you have a headache after facilitating therapy, you need to roll the emotions out away from yourself 

The coffee and ham sandwich helped.

So did the self debrief.

An open window left screamingly open in the icy air clears the head too.

I bought coffee logs from Lidl and cheap scented candles from the reduced price shelf beforehand but the bustle didn’t help my reboot , so Starbucks here’s to you, no blaring music, quiet corners to hide away in

Few screaming kids

I watched the Baristas and thought about the fires in California 

A sequence where some homeowners were leading their horses to safety amid a flurry of sparks only to be “interviewed” by an over zealous insensitive reporter came to mind

It’s a mad world

Having said this, this reported showed much welcomed humanity when coming across a young man fleeing his burning house with hardly anything…..