I’ve got three long shifts together
This just about kills me , what with PPE and the fact that I’m wearing a couple of hats because yesterday I was community working and now I’m on in patients covering sickness
Hey ho
Enjoy the music
A Wisteria Arch
Yesterday the weather was superb, very much like the skies and temperature over Windsor.
After the funeral the dogs and I pottered around the garden.
Dorothy shadowed my every move with sad eyes. Mary just laid by the gate , hopeful that someone would say hello to her and Albert sat under the honeysuckle and pretended to be asleep.
The ponies saw me in the garden and ambled up to watch us.
I love having them in my field,
Their presence makes the field come alive again, like it used to be.
My sister has transformed the garden , the bluebells and pockets of aquilegia, iris and euphorbia are all springing up as is the hydrangea in the old french cooking pot I placed in the gap by the holly bush .
This year I thing I will plant a wisteria and will trail it over an arch by the front gate.
It may bloom before I die....
I’m working in the community today,
Nice weather for it!
My tiny hamster ears do not cope well with face masks
A Touch Of Class
Nuala texted me around three to see if I was watching
Of course she knew I would have been.
I found the whole thing rather moving.
It wasn’t grand, I thought, but more beautifully choreographed and the more personal touches such as the use of the land rover and his riding carriage with his gloves left quietly on his seat were simple and powerful reminders of the man.
A Kiss Is Just A Kiss
Last night I got home just in time for The Big Gay Quiz. Our team won a respectable fourth place, which was fun. Afterwards I watched the lovely gay, Yorkshire Farmer film Gods Own Country which is a delight and incredibly moving.
It must rank as my favourite gay movie
Anyhow....
There is a famous line in Gone With The Wind when Rhett Butler turns on the spoilt and game playing Scarlet O’Hara
“Open your eyes and look at me. No, I don't think I will kiss you, although you need kissing, badly. That's what's wrong with you. You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how."
It’s a cracking quote and is one that got me thinking on my commute home yesterday.
Where did I have my first proper kiss?
I’m discounting the time I was unexpected kissed by a policeman in full uniform when he came around to the psychiatric unit I was working in for a brew on night shift.
I was more surprised than romantically aroused when that happened, so much so , I just stood there like a pudding and was still puckering with closed eyes long after he had exited the building...
Hey ho
Happy days
I think my first, properly romantic gay kiss was with the older brother of my first girlfriend .
I was 18. He was 26
He was in the RAF ( hummm there is a uniform theme going on here) and I was a bank clerk and I ended up sharing his bedroom with him at my girlfriend’s house when he was home on leave.
I can’t remember the whys and wherefores
But I do remember the kiss
Chaste and gentle and of so pivotal in the life of gauche teen
It would be several years later when the kiss’s ripple spread wide on my life’s pond
But it sowed the seed towards my coming out
Luxury
I’m writing this on my lunch break...it’s 17.29 lol
Hard shift made better by a gift from a local ice cream parlour to all the staff
Bloody lovely
The Daughters I Never Had.
Albert and his deformed leg
For this week I have been working one day off one day on.
And apart from meeting up with an old friend this afternoon, all I have done today is sleep.
Feeling that I’ve wasted a bit of the day , I woke up enough this evening to be more productive, and in the warmth of dusk I’ve listened to David Sidaris as I potted up more cheap coloured plants by the back door.
Albert watched me from the sunny garden wall, his deformed leg stretching out painfully before him.
He blinked slowly at me in that silent hello that cats do when when you catch their eye.
Then sat still pretending to be asleep.
He remained there, until the sun shifted and I had retreated to the kitchen in order to oil the work tops and feed the dogs.
The cottage is tidy and I’m pleased.
I sit at the kitchen table and reviewed my to do list.
I didn’t cross anything off today.
In the middle of my list, just under
Inform car insurance company about my speeding fines
And just above,
Pay fucking vets bill
Was the words
Hattie’s gift
Hattie leaves the village in a few days.
For several years she has lived in one of the cottages by the old post office. They are tiny street based cottages accessed to the rear by a tunnelled ginnel located every third home. and hers had its own pretty little back garden which faced south .
Now she and her boyfriend are moving out of the village to a new build in the next village a jump to their own home which is wonderfully exciting and fortunate in this time where the housing ladder is so difficult for young people to climb.
I will see Hattie in choir of course, but some of me will still miss her move from just around the corner.
She is a young woman of warmth who possess a big heart and she is a person who has the envious and innate talent for making people smile.
The villages took her to their heart readily and easily .
She reminds me of my nephew’s partner, Rebecca who possesses similar traits, the both of them, in my mind ideal daughter material.
The daughters I never had. I thought idly today.
I would have made a good dad me thinks, and I told Albert that when he followed me indoors
He blinked at me in his agreement
Hattie and I at the Folk concert at the village Hall
Every Day , say something
I’ve blogged ( more or less) every day since 2006
It’s a labour of love and strange as it may seem, it’s never been a chore, even on days like today when I’ve finally managed to sit down after a work shift minutes after 9 pm, I never not want to write at least something.
Blogging is a friend I need to say hello to every day
The Great British Sewing Bee is on the tv, the dogs have been fed and walked and I’m wondering what to chat about.
I want to be urbane and witty and wisecracking tonight, but it just won’t bounce forth and that’s fine ,
And so I’ve slipped on my fat bastard jogger bottoms , lit the fire and am now watching the 12 talented and rather sweet sewing nerds do their thing, as my feet throb gently like two hairy and slightly podgy Belisha beacons.
Hey ho.........hey ho
Horses Noses
The ponies are back in my field.
A mare and a colt
Two friendly souls who like to blow down their noses then breathe in your smell.
They please me
I drove to the Mostyn Gallery shop and bought a print for my bedroom and some bespoke greetings cards
I had take out coffee on the beach
 |
Love
One of the privileges of working in palliative care is that you work alongside people that truly love each other.
Looking after someone who is dying that you care about is a labour of love and where as it is not always possible or practical to always achieve the death that so many of us want ie at home in your own bed, there are a whole plethora of services , like ours, which are specifically designed to help that wish be realised but not without commitment and care from loved ones .
I have witnessed true love at these times.
And I have just witnessed it today, so powerful it was that on my way back from the community to the hospice I had to sit in my car on north Shore for a few moments and watch the sea with the windows wide open and with the breeze gathering my thoughts and soothing my feelings.
I have witnessed.....
Pure, undiluted, warts and all love
Desperate love
Tired and hopeful and hopeless love
And I am moved , every time I witness it.
To be loved that strongly is such a privilege.
Nutmeg Gnocchi with a chilli courgette sauce
This is a therapeutic and easy supper dish
I made it from scratch today
Here is my masterclass
You will need
2 potatoes
Garlic
Chilli x 1 red
Butter
1 cup flour
Nutmeg
1 egg
1 courgette
Seasoning
Parmesan
Mash 2 potatoes and allow to cool
Grate one courgette, chop three cloves garlic and finely cut one red chilli
( this is for the sauce)
Measure out Half a teaspoon of grated nutmeg
Put one cup of mash into a bowl add nutmeg
Add One cup of plain flour
Add one egg
Mix and kneed into a dough
Cut into quarters
Roll into rough rolls
Cut into 3/4 inch pieces and flatten sides with fork
Boil a saucepan of water and drop gnocchi in. Meantime fry off chilli, garlic in a little oil and large knob of butter. Season well.
Wait for gnocchi to float
Add courgette and fry gently until cooked
Add gnocchi and ensure all is heated through
Season well if needed , add Parmesan cheese and Basil
Eat with rocket salad
Bloody lovely
41 Guns?
The ruins of the Elizabethan house Siamber Wen located just a stones’ throw South of the centre of the village
According to the village Facebook page there was going to be a 41 gun salute to the Duke Of Edinburgh at midday. I went to collect eggs from the livery stables and managed to snap a brief video of the “ excitement” from the centre of the village.
The salute took place on top of the Gop
You can here me and villager Mandy discussing the spectacle
On my walk I bumped into Affable Despot Jason who is a staunch republican.
On my walk I bumped into Affable Despot Jason who is a staunch republican.
“ 100,000 dead from covid and they are shooting guns off the Gop for Philip...makes my piss boil” he commented ....not his usual smiling self. Mrs Trellis passed with her over erect bobble hat on, and she waved
Jason and Mrs Trellis ( with Blue)
Jason invited me for a drink in the garden.
More sporadic gunfire echoed over the valley as I headed for home.
The sun is shining and the sky is an azure blue
I’m making home made gnocchi in a chilli and courgette sauce for supper
Chic Eleanor has invited me for an outside gin at 6pm
The Wall
Yesterday I rearranged the paintings and the lithographs, and the drawings and the photographs and the embroideries and the ceramics and the tiny piece of the antique Japanese Kimono on the art wall of the kitchen.
The exhibition looked clean and tidy and comfortable once I had finished
A history of my years post retirement
Every framed piece, a step forward to independence .
The wall has significance and it has power.
Where I once had a great deal of pleasure showing joint treasures, and dreams and memories in such a medium now I show my own milestones and art and loves and likes in one place and it feels nice to do so...kind of empowering.....kind of significant .
A while ago a friend asked me about the art wall
He acknowledged how important it was to me
And he understood when I said
It is something real , very real to me ...and nothing .....that is a lie
Ok ....that’s enough of all that.....me and Mave won the Big Gay Quiz last night which was fun. Today me and the girls are going to Colwyn Bay beach for a walk and a proper coffee
I’m counting the days until I can go to the cinema, I maybe able to book a seat very soon!!!!!!
Philip
I’ve always rather liked his chutzpah
My favourite quote of his was about his daughter Anne
“If it doesn’t fart or eat hay, she’s not interested”
he told reporters.
If he had a mop of white hair he would remind me of Tom Stephenson
Chirp
Lots of wonderful replies to yesterday’s bit of fun
Some moving , many funny, all interesting
Thank you
Keep them coming if you want ,
I’m listening to this song as a certain bulldog licks my tired tired feet
Conchita
I just realised that I need a bit of glitter in my life!
How about all of you ?
What do you need........
Just one short sentence !
Prize for the best answer!
14
Hello deArheart,
I’ve got 4 minutes to blog before work.
Clinique Happy has been squirted, face washed, eggs on sourdough eaten, dogs walked, Mary given her antibiotic, coffee made and decanted into my travel cup
Three minutes to go
Soup in the slow cooker liquidised.....it’s butter bean and chorizo again tonight.
One minute to go.
Hair brushed, teeth brushed ,
One minute late
Back home in 14 hours
Fish Pie
Yesterday my bubble friend Ruth was over.
We ate fish pie ( completed with quarters of hard boiled eggs), drank wine and watched Amelie
It was a nice evening.
Amelie is a movie that only gets better when rewatching .
It’s film in which it’s editing takes centre stage and where a million visual ideas joint together seamlessly
I adore it.
Today I’ve bought eggs from Rachel at the village riding stables and have dodged snow showers in favour of cold sunny breaks, then I’ve picked up antibiotics for Mary ( at last my demand for a swab on her ear has yielded a bacterial and not fungal infection as I suspected ) and bought flowers for Trendy Carol who never takes any payment for looking after the girls when I’m at work.
It’s a no news, bland blogging day today.
I will leave you with this excruciatingly funny clip of Nick Mohammed
He sings the plot of a film to its score
Enjoy x
He sings the plot of a film to its score
Enjoy x
Theatre Again
I haven’t much spare cash.
This is merely an observation rather than a moan.
Fuck me if it was a moan the trolls out there would wet their knickers in the scrum to message what a truly awful person I am .
No, it’s a truism. I have to watch my money.
True I treat myself to the odd desk and very trendy sofa .
But generally I have to be frugal, and generally I am
I have a tv the size of large cornflakes packet, I never buy new clothes and my main extravagance is never on expensive cars, men and liquor!
But I have just bought a couple of tickets to the outside production of Pride and Prejudice in Grovensor Park in Chester.
How lovely to be sat watching a play again
Old Enough.....Ugly Enough
I went to bed early last night.
It was 8 pm....unheard of for me.
Subsequently I was wide awake before five, woken by Dorothy who had noticed one of my psoriasis covered kneecaps sticking out from under the duvet and was busy plucking off the scabs with her teeth and tongue.
It wasn’t an unpleasant sensation, to be sure , so I sipped my coffee ( I leave a flask by my bed now for early morning get ups), left her to it and prepared myself for another day at work.
We all have our own sayings, I’ve always thought.....
Many of them are inherited by parents or significant others or we just have them evolve through the general trails and tribulations of life.
One of mine is .....
“ I’m old enough and ugly enough to deal with it.....”
This is all about not keeping your gob shut, whether it be in a conflict situation or just in everyday life.
I have an example
Last Monday I went to the garden centre in the village for bedding plants.
The lockdown rules had just been relaxed and the place was busy.
On one till, in front of me a middle aged woman was having an argument with the cashier. The wrong price had been accidentally left on a plant pot and the woman was insisting that she was only going to pay the price advertised on the pot which was ludicrously cheaper than the right one .
The cashier politely pointed out that all of the other similar pots had the correct pricing on them and only this one had been incorrectly labelled. She apologised for the mistake but the woman was not having any of it and became belligerent and rude in her manner.
The manager was called and she too was polite , only to be shot down moments later by a louder voice and harsher words and buoyed up by her own adrenalin she looked around the waiting queue for any sign of support.
No one caught her eye but me
“ Oh pay the proper price you miserable cow” I said
It wasn’t the reply she was expecting.
I should have added something here, but I didn’t as to be the sub text is plain to see
“ If you don’t want my thoughts on the matter don’t ask for me to comment”
And so it’s Easter Sunday.
Easter has always been a non event for me.
For me it was a bland day, filled with Jeffrey Hunter in King Of Kings, a half decent roast dinner and my ex husband going to church. Even as a child the day was marked with bad tv and too many Easter Eggs
So the prospect of working in the community and driving around the pretty places here such as Llanfairfechan can only be a bonus from the old norm.
I will try to keep to the speed limit too, I suspect I was clocked in the hospice car doing 35 in a 30 mile an hour zone on Monday......another 3 points on my licence !
I’m not complaining by the way, just commenting
I’m not as nice as Jeffrey Hunter.....
Hey ho
Happy Easter All
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