One of the privileges of working in palliative care is that you work alongside people that truly love each other.
Looking after someone who is dying that you care about is a labour of love and where as it is not always possible or practical to always achieve the death that so many of us want ie at home in your own bed, there are a whole plethora of services , like ours, which are specifically designed to help that wish be realised but not without commitment and care from loved ones .
I have witnessed true love at these times.
And I have just witnessed it today, so powerful it was that on my way back from the community to the hospice I had to sit in my car on north Shore for a few moments and watch the sea with the windows wide open and with the breeze gathering my thoughts and soothing my feelings.
I have witnessed.....
Pure, undiluted, warts and all love
Desperate love
Tired and hopeful and hopeless love
And I am moved , every time I witness it.
To be loved that strongly is such a privilege.
You, John, show people you love them every day at work, the true definition of end of life care. Sadly, not all in the caring professions have the empathy needed. I thank all those who do. xx
ReplyDeleteI don’t love them ...deArheart x. I respect them, in some instances like them , but not love x
DeleteSorry, I didn't express myself very well. What I meant is that caring for someone is an act of love. Not everyone can do it. To some, it is "just a job". They might as well be stacking shelves in a supermarket. xx
DeleteI know HH
DeleteI didnt want today’s blog to be about me, it wasn’t
hepes cure should contact dr okosun
DeleteThe sadness is how few of us achieve such love.
ReplyDeleteHave I ever told you that I love you John? I do, and in response to my question of trust the other night....Yes, you can x
You are a sweetheart mave x
DeleteI have been suffering from (Herpes Infection) for the last 2 years and had constant pain, especially in my knees. During the first year, I had faith in God that i would be healed someday.This disease started circulating all over my body and i have been taking treatment from my doctor, few weeks ago i was searching on the internet if i could get any information concerning the prevention of this disease, on my search i saw a testimony of someone who has been healed from (Herpes Infection) by this Man Dr Edidia and she also gave the email address of this man and advise we should contact him for any sickness that he would be of help, so i wrote to Dr.Edidia telling him
Deleteabout my (Herpes Infection) he told me not to worry that i was going to be cured!! hmm
i never believed it,, well after all the procedures and remedy given to me by this man few weeks later i started experiencing changes all over me as the Dr.Edidia assured me that i have cured, after some time i went to my doctor to confirmed if i have be finally healed behold it was TRUE So friends my advise is if you have such sickness or any other at all you can email him on (dredidiaherbalhome@gmail.com) or call his mobile or WHATSAPP (+2349074505296) I am indeed grateful for the help, i will forever recommend
you to my friends!!
DOCTOR EDIDIA CAN ALSO HELP YOU WITH ALL THIS FOLLOWING PROBLEM
1. HIV/AIDS
2. HERPES
3. ALS
4. Hepatitis
5.LOVE SPELL
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE GOOD WORK..
HOW DR EDIDIA CURE MY HERPES INFECTION HIS HERBAL MEDICINE IS VERY POWERFUL TO CURE ANY DEADLY ILLNESS MORE INFORMATION WEB/SITE https://dredidiaherbalhome.wixsite.com/dredidiaherbalhome
FACEBOOK PAGE:https://www.facebook.com/Dr-Edidia-Herbal-Cure-105172711331669?_rdc=1&_rdr
I can honestly say I've never felt truly embraced by love from anyone but my mum-(I've had several relationships)My absolute unconditional love is for my dogs and gut wrenching x
ReplyDeleteAnother honest and brave comment.....I get the dog love x
DeleteHello viewer’s
DeleteI don’t have much to say. There are so many scammers going on online so we can't detect the real herbal medicine doctors. Thank GOD for leading me, please don’t ignore this post is real Dr Edidia is a real herbal Doctor, he cured me from Herpes infection, i am living so happy and free , i was fully recovered within 2 weeks of usage of dr Edidia herbal medicine ,please viewers out there that have any deadly disease don't fail to contact him via his email; am now free from herpes. dredidiaherbalhome@gmail.com or WhatsApp/Call: +2349074505296 thanks once again to dr Edidia GOD bless you abundantly
he also cured HPV, HIV/AIDS,CANCER,GENITAL WART,COPD,BRAIN TUMOR
Re: "the death that so many of us want i.e. at home in your own bed", Forever somewhat the contrarian, which I don't do deliberately, I have often thought that dying at home is the last thing I would want, unless unexpectedly in my sleep of course. If bed-bound for long then I would rather be in a hospital or home and hopefully less bother to everyone, other than those whose job it is to deal with the bother. But just dropping down suddenly while out for a walk or playing golf would be far better for all concerned. Of course we often don't get what we want. I have been contemplated at what age it would be ideal for me to take up ever more dangerous sports. As for your day, sitting gazing at the sea with a fresh breeze blowing over you sounds like a good idea.
ReplyDelete"...been contemplating..." I mean
DeleteMost research underlines that most people want to die at home. It’s a rarity nowadays unfortunately
DeleteI don't doubt the research. I doubt my tendency to be like most. "Odd from the day you were born," my Father once said, perhaps affectionately, when I was middle-aged, but I am not sure quite how it was meant. Also, I would probably find your line of work impossible, and I am glad there are those who find it possible.
DeleteAndrew, I heartily agree. My mom lived to 102, and during those last few very difficult and heart wrenching years, when occasionally I couldn't escape thoughts of my own genetic lottery, I kept thinking I will need to take up skydiving, etc.
DeleteNina
Ah Nina, let me know when it is time for us to set up the "Skydiving with Shoddy Cheap Parachutes Club" and we could perhaps jump out hand in hand... Or "Cliff Diving for Oldies Club".
DeleteYou do a difficult job with huge professionalism and immense love John. I don't think anyone apart from my father has ever truly loved me, I assume it's because I'm unloveable. However I am lucky enough to have someone I truly love.
ReplyDeleteThis was difficult to read , thank you for your honesty x
Deletewe should all be so lucky.
ReplyDeleteThis post has touched me to the very soul John.
ReplyDeleteThanks Cherie. I didn’t have the words...you did
DeleteBless you pet. x
DeleteHello everyone, I want to say a special thanks to Dr OGU. for helping me get cured from herpes virus 2019 , I contacted him base on the testimonies I saw about him on the internet I was diagnosed of HERPES Virus i have tried all I can to get cured but all to know avail, until i saw a post in a health forum about a herbal man who prepare herbal medication to cure all kind of diseases including HERPES virus, at first i doubted if it was real but decided to give it a try I was cured by his herbal medicine and natural herbs, kindly contact him today through his email: drogugusolutionhome@gmail.com or text/call: +1 (719) 629 0982
DeleteHe’s waiting to help you.
HE ALSO SPECIALIZE IN THE FOLLOWING Illness;
If you have any sickness like : H I V/AIDS , CANCER , HERPES 1 or 2 , GENITAL WARTS (HPV), and Hepatitis B. Trichomoniasis Gonorrhea, Epilepsy, and Syphilis.
Palliative care IS love. For some people that's the last they see. Sitting by the sea sounds like paradise to me....
ReplyDeleteXOXO
I hope the people receiving love as they near death also received it when they were healthy on this earth from those same people.
ReplyDeleteI may have misunderstood the post.
DeleteWell I hope so too, but it wasn’t the gist of my post, I am just commentating on what I see at work
DeleteHappy birthday again deArheart x
DeleteThanks John. I thought I understood the post and then later I read the other comments and thought maybe I had completely misunderstood. xx
DeleteLove...such a small word for such an enormous feeling and emotion...we all need it and if we have had it we miss its loss greatly.x
ReplyDeleteYes Libby
DeleteI think you are a very, very special person John and judging by the many comments are very much respected and loved. Your work is proof of the huge amount of love you have for others, this in and of itself a very gift. Love Ro xx
ReplyDeleteKind but this blog was about what I see at work...and how it’s overwhelming to see
Delete...".. a very special gift.." (sorry left out special)! Ro
ReplyDeleteTo die at home takes planning every detail. My Uncle planned this to perfection. His first priority was to feel no pain and medical science provided this. The team included: a wonderful Hospice RN calling the shots on a daily basis, home care aids assisting around the clock, MD weekly visits occurring, and me the family member with legal standing. We had meals and cocktails together and everybody shared. On nice days, there was tea in the garden. It was hard at times but also loving and a very peaceful passing. Many thanks to Hospice.
ReplyDeleteMy parents both died alone in the hospital, many years ago. I was told I was "too young" at the time, but of course, as the years have passed, I realize my grief would have been easier if I could have participated.
ReplyDeleteXXO
Bonnie in Minneapolis
To witness that sort of love is a privilege too John. X
ReplyDeleteI, too, have been privileged to witness a couple or family saying good bye in the last hours of life for one they love and cherish. It has always brought me to tears and often while still in their presence. What grace there is when people can speak what is in their hearts at that time. No wonder you needed to stop the car to collect yourself, John.
ReplyDeleteHugs!
Is the pain you feel when your loved one is gone the price you have to pay for the love?
ReplyDeleteI have ben lucky enough to experience that kind of love twice - both times it was hard to see my beloved husbands pass but both times I felt that love between us to the end and it does ease the burden.
ReplyDeleteIn the end everything seems to winnow down to what is important...and it is always love. To be reminded of that truth daily is a blessing.
ReplyDeleteAnd they are blessed to have you to provide care
ReplyDeleteKindness and care at the end and, if we're lucky, freedom from suffering. To help someone have that is, to my mind, an honour and privilege that many of us don't realize and also we don't have the guts to step up to the plate to help, or to work in that area. People who do the work you do are angels when you are the one who needs them, and they are seen as angels by the families of those who are dying. You know all this. It must be a real workout for your heart sometimes, even when you have the big soft heart you have. I can't imagine that, seeing what you do, you don't feel a part of some kind of magic beauty in spite of all, sometimes, as ruthless as death can be. -Kate
ReplyDeleteTen years later it still breaks my heart that my mom passed alone, before any of us could get to her to hold her hand and say I love you. I hope she knew that.
ReplyDeleteThe care you facilitate means so much to those left behind.
I nursed my husband alone until he passed at home, in our bed, with me by his side. I loved him so deeply and I know he felt the same. We found each other too late in life.
ReplyDeleteI have wondered what it's like to be immersed in those most intimate moments of other families' lives as one's work. I've been there to help friends a bit a few times and have felt overwhelmed by their love and loss. Yours is a true vocation, and vocations do come at a cost sometimes to those who are called. Blessings upon you.
ReplyDeleteJohn, I so admire the work that you do. I don't know if I could do it. Every day when I go to the cancer center for my treatments, I have such heaviness in my heart after seeing all of the really sick people. Day after day I see them, and it breaks my heart. You have a beautiful way with words. Thanks for sharing this as it helps give me perspective on things.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
DeleteBeautiful.
ReplyDeleteThat is all.
My husband, beloved, light and love of my life spent his last two weeks in a private room in a public hospital and was adamant he did not want to go home to
ReplyDeletedie (the reasons don't matter) he just didn't. So the staff set up a bed in the room for me and we spent the last two weeks together. The hospital fed me and nurtured us as a couple. I have been a little and a big bit broken since our last day together...I was blessed to be loved and adored by this magnificent man. That was 17 years ago. Feels like 17 minutes to me. Sorry, have no idea where all that came from. I don't usually comment much.
Rose xxxxxxx
DeleteThank u rose x
DeleteAnd to be witness to that love as a hospice nurse is also a rare privilege given the stuff you had to deal with in the rest of your nursing career.
ReplyDeleteI cared for my husband at home until he died. We were young, I was in my thirties. He had been ill for several years. We decided that this was best for us and I am so grateful that we did. Rarely does one have the opportunity to express one's love so fully.
ReplyDeleteNicely put x
DeleteThis was lovely. I copied it for my friend who does your same sort of work.
ReplyDeleteThank u
DeleteHaving someone you deeply love and who deeply loves you in return is a great privilege. It's very moving to witness that.
ReplyDeleteOnce again I want to appreciate Dr Ubarlo for helping me with his herbal medicine to cure my herpes. virus completely, I really suffered from this virus for the past 2 yrs, Right now I'm herpes negative after using the herbal medicine Dr Ubarlo sent to me .l give all thanks to God for leading me to Dr Ubarlo was able to cure me completely from herpes virus, Dr Ubarlo you are the best traditional doctor in the world God bless you sir, contact Dr Ubarlo for cure if you have been passing through similar diseases or virus like. herpes. HIV .gastritis. fibroid. etc via Email drubarlohome@gmail.com or Whats App contact +2348119508814 God bless you all
DeleteAm here to let the whole world know that I was diagnose of herpes 3 years ago where all hope was lost and I had nothing to do about it,I just accepted the faith that one day I will cure of this disease and I just pray everyday for a helper and one day my sister introduce me to a herbal doctor man called Dr Aire that she saw him on internet well I contact him on his email,I was not fully convinced until he sent me the herbal medicine which he ask me to take for two weeks I took it with faith and i went for a retest in different hospitals and today am cured of this disease and am also using this medium to let all those having STD,like herpes and the rest not to give up,their is a man who can cure you,his name is Dr Aire . contact the great herbalist via his email; (drairehome@gmail.com) or /WhatsApp +2347036740271 ..............
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ReplyDeleteAm here to appreciate Dr Agbonhale for using his herbal medicine to cure my Herpes virus. since 3 years now I have been living with this virus and it has been giving me challenges, I was so perplexed cause i have been taking several drugs to be cured but all of my effort was in vain,one morning i was browsing through the internet then i saw several testimonies about Dr.Agbonhale curing people from Herpes virus and immediately i contacted Dr.Agbonhale on his email:dragbonhaleherbalhome@gmail.com , i told him about my troubles and he told me that i must be cured, gave me some instructions and which i rightly followed. so he prepared a herbal medicine for me and sent it to me which i used for 2 weeks and everything was like a dream to me and my Herpes virus was totally gone, why don't you contact him today and be free from your diseases because he is very good and honest Doctor. contact him via email; dragbonhaleherbalhome@gmail.com or whatsApp him on +2349073130326.
ReplyDeleteHello viewer’s
ReplyDeleteI don’t have much to say. There are so many scammers going on online so we can't detect the real herbal medicine doctors. Thank GOD for leading me, please don’t ignore this post is real Dr Edidia is a real herbal Doctor, he cured me from Herpes infection, i am living so happy and free , i was fully recovered within 2 weeks of usage of dr Edidia herbal medicine ,please viewers out there that have any deadly disease don't fail to contact him via his email; am now free from herpes. dredidiaherbalhome@gmail.com or WhatsApp/Call: +2349074505296 thanks once again to dr Edidia GOD bless you abundantly
he also cured HPV, HIV/AIDS,CANCER,GENITAL WART,COPD,BRAIN TUMOR
Once again I want to appreciate Dr Ubarlo for helping me with his herbal medicine to cure my herpes. virus completely, I really suffered from this virus for the past 2 yrs, Right now I'm herpes negative after using the herbal medicine Dr Ubarlo sent to me .l give all thanks to God for leading me to Dr Ubarlo was able to cure me completely from herpes virus, Dr Ubarlo you are the best traditional doctor in the world God bless you sir, contact Dr Ubarlo for cure if you have been passing through similar diseases or virus like. herpes. HIV .gastritis. fibroid. etc via Email drubarlohome@gmail.com or Whats App contact +2348119508814 God bless you all
ReplyDeleteNatural herbs have cured so many illness that drugs and injection cant
ReplyDeletecure. I've seen the great importance of natural herbs and the wonderful
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Appreciation is the key to doing more. That is why I have taken some time out to thank someone who cured me of my 5 years of HSV problem. It became a major problem to me as it was affecting my marital life and I was no longer comfortable so I decided to look for a solution and I came across a post of Dr.Godday and how he has been helping people of the same problem I quickly contacted him and told him all I have been facing in my life. He told me how to get his product and how to take it after everything. I found out that all was now okay with me and that my HSV problem was gone. That is why I have come out today to say thank you to Dr.Godday . if you need cure for HIV/AIDS, Herpes, Cancer or Diabetes of all types you can contact his via email: goddayspiritualhome@gmail.com or Whats App no +2349018437588.
ReplyDeleteNever give up in life they all say no cure to HSV 2 which is a big lie I have pass through many process also i never believe there is really cure to HERPES until I meet Dr.Edaghonghon the doctor that have been helping many people for many years, I come across this doctor online when I was searching for cure online I found out about this man, and to my greatest surprise this man have the herbal medicine which I have been looking for years I explain my problem to him through the email I found on someone who testify about him also, Dr.Edaghonghon write me a reply and explain how the process work so after ordering for the medicine I got it within 4 days and I took it according to the way Dr.Edaghonghon instructed, I was so happy after two week I took the medicine there was very big change in my health when I was done with the process I go for test, I found out I am negative that was the day I have the tears of joy you can also get in contact with my doctor through his email now dr.edaghonghonherbalhome@gmail.com or you can also WhatsApp him +2349056731866. And He also have herbs medicine to cured the following diseases; eczema,urethra wart,chronic problems. Herpes, Cancer, Als,Hepatitis, Diabetes, HPV,Infections,ulcer ETC.
ReplyDelete