Thursday, 15 April 2021

The Daughters I Never Had.


Albert and his deformed leg

For this week I have been working one day off one day on. 
And apart from meeting up with an old friend this afternoon, all I have done today is sleep.
Feeling that I’ve wasted a bit of the day , I woke up enough this evening to be more productive, and in the warmth of dusk I’ve listened to David Sidaris as I potted up more cheap coloured plants by the back door.


Albert watched me from the sunny garden wall, his deformed  leg stretching out painfully  before him. 
He blinked slowly at me in that silent hello that cats do when when you catch their eye.
Then sat still pretending to be asleep.
He remained there, until the sun shifted and I had retreated to the kitchen in order to oil the work tops and feed the dogs.
The cottage is tidy and I’m pleased.
I sit at the kitchen table and reviewed my to do list.
I didn’t cross anything off today.
In the middle of my list, just under 
Inform car insurance company about my speeding fines
And just above,
Pay fucking vets bill
Was the words
Hattie’s gift

Hattie leaves the village in a few days.
For several years she has lived in one of the cottages by the old post office. They are tiny street based cottages accessed to the rear by a tunnelled ginnel located every third home. and hers had its own pretty little back garden which faced south .
Now she and her boyfriend are moving out of the village to a new build in the next village a jump to their own home which is wonderfully exciting and fortunate in this time where the housing ladder is so difficult for young people to climb.
I will see Hattie in choir of course, but some of me will still miss her move from just around the corner. 
She is a young woman of warmth who possess a big heart and she is a person who has the envious and innate talent for making people smile. 
The villages took her to their heart readily and easily . 
She reminds me of my nephew’s partner, Rebecca who possesses similar traits, the both of them, in my mind ideal daughter material.
The daughters I never had. I thought idly today.
I would have made a good dad me thinks, and I told Albert that when he followed me indoors 
He blinked at me in his agreement

Hattie and I at the Folk concert at the village Hall 

 

78 comments:

  1. Methinks so too, John. A good, and fun Dad. By the way, if those pots aren't in a sheltered spot, take care. If the frost gets them, they'll be gone. I'm sure Hattie will miss you and the rest of the village. She has a lovely smile. xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She’s still in Trelawnyds women’s institute x

      Delete
    2. He's lucky, Happy Hooker...if those lovely pots were in Kidderminster, they'd really be gone.

      Delete
    3. It’s a frost protected area xx

      Delete
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      Delete
  2. You'd have made a good wife had you possessed a fanny darling x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol hidden under my apron x

      Delete
    2. He perhaps still could make a great wife, post surgery, hormone therapy, weight loss, a good tooth flossing tongue brushing, long scented bath, hair transplant and boob job. Probably too much work though.

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    3. HOW VERY DARE U lol

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    4. Fat wives have tighter fannies

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    5. And you would know, Mavis?

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    6. They all have tight fannies to me because of my massive cock 🤪

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    7. Stop it you are not at the big gay quiz tonight xxx

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    8. Are you three done?!? Jeez!

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    9. I concur with John: "Oh Lord"

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    10. How interesting Mavis-I am a lady of a certain age and unfortunately am frequently rushing to the loo-perhaps I should eat more cake(the yoga teachers suggestion had little effect)x

      Delete
  3. Yes, you’d have been a great dad - warm and supportive. You ARE a great friend, colleague, partner, brother, neighbour, community enabler and General Good Guy. That’s enough!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous9:00 pm

      A crap husband , don’t forget that

      Delete
    2. Oh dear....perhaps you are right ....

      Delete
    3. A marriage sometimes doesn't work out without either party being "crap". I have no idea about your case however, and of course neither does Dear Anastymous (Unless they are your ex-husband, of course, but even then they will be biased...)

      Delete
    4. Andrew it’s nearly three years since he left .....if he wasn’t happy and he fell out of love with me I don’t begrudge him going
      You can’t change someone else’s feelings
      Xx

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    5. It doesn’t matter anymore x

      Delete
    6. Of course it does.,.......hey ho

      Delete
    7. Think Phil S and all negativity disappears x

      Delete
  4. A daughter may move away and even to another country so Hattie won't be so far.Strangely today and I don't know why I recall you mentioning here once in passing-you "would have made a good father"-You can continue to care for Hattie and hopefully she can still occasionally meet up for doggy cuddles x

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    Replies
    1. Oh yes , I’m sure she and Adam will still be walking Mary

      Delete
  5. Wonderful photo of Albert. Does his leg really pain him? If you have related the cause of it I forget. Being a good Dad is harder than imagining to be one. Almost every week some of the regrets at failures in my attempts return to hurt me. Still, overall, perhaps I was just about ok. My fine son and daughter still speak to me pleasantly and visit and allow me to buy them dinner! Being a good husband is not as easy as it may sound either, but after nearly 44 years I am still trying. Apologies, this became a self-indulgent musing of a comment.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy to hear your story xx
      Albert had an accident when he was young I suspect he was hit by a car and I found him in the garden with a badly broken leg. The vets mismanaged him with a plaster cast and finally operated on him . The fracture was not aligned properly ......so his leg is deformed ....I think it pains him especially in winter

      Delete
    2. On behalf of Albert I thank you for your kindness and care given to him. He is an internet star (as are you, I mean you even have your own Troll, which is a sure sign that you have made it).

      Delete
    3. The troll tires me somewhat but they don’t bother me
      Albert is the true star of Going Gently
      He sees everything and puts up with any changes with alacrity.

      Delete
    4. Anonymous9:59 pm

      This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

      Delete
    5. Ha ha (Re "this comment has been removed..."). Although rather sad, for Anonynasty, really. Surely a better use of time than spouting bile every day could be found? But in allowing a release of bile perhaps you are providing a caring service John? Well done.

      Delete
    6. Andrew ,. It’s not a problem but when things get too personal everything will be deleted x

      Delete
  6. saying Thank You for all your posts and sharing

    ReplyDelete
  7. A good person is a good person...no matter what role they fall into.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm a good father in the sense that I'm pretty good at being embarrassing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love that in a dad

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    2. Agreed Tasker, although being embarrassing is the easy bit.

      Delete
  9. Barbara Anne10:14 pm

    As the saying goes, "Friends are the family we choose for ourselves." Therefore, both Hattie and Rebecca can be your 'daughters' to care about and love as you love your sisters. Seems perfect to me and I'm sure Albert would agree.
    I was sorry to read that Albert has a deformed leg that causes him pain.
    I have to say that always disliked the working 1 on, 1 off and most of the time our schedules weren't like that. Wishing you well in dealing with this annoying schedule.

    Hugs!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I’m fine babs ...that extra sleep , with a bulldog lying on my throat
      Has revived me

      Delete
  10. You are very much Uncle-John, kind of like Aunt-Glad, but not the same. For Albert, discomfort is just a part of life and he gets on with it. Many people know that experience.

    ReplyDelete
  11. You have many connections and are very well liked exactly as you are. What's not to like?
    Congratulations to Hattie on her new home. Great that she is still nearby. She is your chosen adopted daughter.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I also agree you are "Dad" material, but some Dads I know are not the friend type to their daughters or indeed their sons.. anyone can be a good friend/mentor if a) They are genuine in their manner and b) They actually care about the person. You would fall into both I fee. Poor Albert he looks a tad uncomfortable maybe arthritis is in the joint and pains him when it's cold.... I know it pains my thumb!

    Jo in Auckland

    ReplyDelete
  13. Gah that should read "You would fall into both I feel". Sorry fingers are not quite working this morning.

    Jo in Auckland

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hattie looks a lovely girl and yes you would have made the perfect Dad John.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Sometimes the main thing I want to say to you is that you are a very talented writer. Today is one of those days.

    ReplyDelete
  16. She would be glad to hear the words,with a plant for her new home.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Your flowers are pretty. I'm sure you are a father figure to some young folks, and you're definitely a great dad to many animals.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
  18. It is, indeed, difficult to have longtime friends move away. But at least you have that winking, blinking, beautiful ebony feline.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I like that you think of them like daughters.

    ReplyDelete
  20. She has a 'smiling face'; something that has always appealed to me. When David Sidaris comes on the radio; I turn off. There is something about his voice that I cannot take!

    ReplyDelete
  21. You are a good Dad to all your lovely furry children! I know you will miss Hattie and I imagine she will miss you. I'm glad you will be able to see one another in choir at least. Albert is indeed a very special cat!

    ReplyDelete
  22. So wonderful to have people like that in your life.

    ReplyDelete
  23. You would have made a great dad but you are a great friend and that's just as important. Albert is such a great character and you are lucky to have found each other.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Probably best pic to date of Albert, which I'm now going to save for my 'JayGee file'. My heart goes out to him, with that gammy leg, poor thing.

    ReplyDelete
  25. My love to Albert, a superb black cat. And also to you; it's obvious that you're a caring person and a great friend, much loved by all except your Troll. xx

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  26. I dont often comment but love the blog...

    ReplyDelete
  27. Judging by things you have said on your blog I think you would make a fair,firm and fun father! :)

    ReplyDelete
  28. Good to know Hattie won't be far away and you will still see her, how brilliant to get to buy her first home.

    ReplyDelete
  29. My uncle was not a biological father but he was always fun company for me growing up and so interesting and knowledgable when I was older.He had friends of all ages who were fond of him and his friends children and then grandchildren loved to hear his amusing,far fetched tales of all sorts-when he died the smallies sent a rocket to the sky to make a star for him x

    ReplyDelete
  30. The slow eye blink of a cat is a precious thing.

    ReplyDelete
  31. I wonder if you have EVER considered having Albert's painful leg amputated! Animals seem to adapt and remain quite active with only 3 legs and, by all accounts, pain free!
    Just a suggestion!
    Got up to snow this lovely, cold, S. Colorado morning!! Enjoy your day!!

    ReplyDelete
  32. dear sweet albert. hope hattie will continue to "borrow" mary.

    ReplyDelete
  33. I love your bright potted flowers, together they are glorious.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Luckily, you will still see Hattie in choir. Hope her move goes smoothly.
    Your flowers look terrific and you will enjoy sitting out there when the weather warms up a bit.
    Thanks for another nice post! xx

    ReplyDelete
  35. Tinkerbell is the daughter I never had but seemed to raise, she was a handful but I think it was worth it now.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Vous auriez fait un père formidable,John attentif ferme et sensible,intelligent ,amities

    ReplyDelete
  37. You would be a wonderful dad, I remember all the fun times you spend baking and crafting with the two young girls after school I feel guilty because I can't remember their names and how thoughtful you were to get a hold of the book Little Women for one of them, yes a good father and friend.

    I'm so happy for Hattie and glad that she will still be able to take Mary for a walk.

    ReplyDelete
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