I went out to lunch with my sister in law today. Tonight I’d planned to meet Chic Eleanor for supper.
Lots of foody things today.
Eleanor messaged me that she couldn’t come as her mother was poorly…very poorly as it turned out and I’ve just dropped some cheerful tulips off at her house on the other side of the village.
Her house was deserted, it’s going to be a tough 24 hours for her.
I’m scruffy as I’ve grown a full beard, a friend in the village who I haven’t seen in a long time commented on it today.
He called me a hipster.
I told him I’m too old
I will have to make a decision to temper it soon
I’ve had a beard most of my adult life, but never one as unruly
In the supermarket I overheard two women complaining about the nurses’ strike.
They said nurses were putting people at risk now, and that they shouldn’t complain
Now it starts , I said to myself.
And I wish everyone would watch this American medical soap’s nurse speech
It sort of captures some of the essence that I think a lot of nurses feel
I went to see Enys Men this morning. Apparently Enys is the old Cornish word for Island which is interesting as the Welsh word for Island is Ynys.
Anyhow Enys Men was advertised as a horror film set on a1973 Cornish Island.
I see that the word horror was used somewhat loosely.
It’s an experimental, abstract film where the mundane daily routine of a wildlife volunteer almost morphs into the history, tragedy and nature of an old Cornish mining island. Set in 1973 we follow the naturalist’s daily routine until no one really knows their arses from their elbows, so atmospheric as it was , I lost the will to live by minute 45, so walked out even though I was sure that the leading lady’s red anorak had something to do with the killer dwarf in Dont Look Now ( filmed in 1973)
Subsequently I found out that Mark Kamode gave it 5 stars .
Fuck me that must have been a slow day for him.
One of the Storyhouse volunteers fussed around me with hand twitching when he saw me walk out.
“ Everything all right?” he twittered
“It’s not very good “ I told him
He made the mistake of arguing.
“ As a horror film it’s got a lot excellent reviews” he countered
“if this was a horror film, then my Dick’s a kipper” I told him.
It’s a favourite saying of mine, and did what it was meant to do
It underlined a point.
It was still lunchtime when I left the cinema so I went to the Thai and Thai food stall in Chester Market and ordered their chicken pad Thai , which is glorious.
I like the new dining area in the market as it consists of long tables which have to be shared.
Sirikorn Jones who runs Thai On Thai
I picked up my food as a take out and literally bumped into Faisal from book club who was waiting for some Bangladeshi food from Guroma.
He shook my hand formally as he did when we met at book club and we had a drink together before and after our beepers went off, signalling that our food was ready .
Roger found a packet of panini in the footwell of the car. It had fallen out of the shopping bag unnoticed and the resulting hysteria from Dorothy who shouldered her way out of her cage in the back seat like a fat faced drug raiding policeman in order to grab one out of Mary’s mouth would have caused a car wreck if we weren’t stuck in the workman’s traffic lights just outside the village.
The bickering over the crumbs lasted at least 25 minutes so I had a headache brewing when I finally got to the dentists in Llandudno.
After my appointment we all had a walk along the Promenade to blow away the cobwebs and I turned listening to Spotify on my phone as the waves flung spray horizontally into our faces.
We sat down in a beach shelter as Max Richter’s On The Nature Of Daylight was playing.
It’s a deeply melancholy and rather beautiful piece of music
And as I listened the dogs crammed in closer, on either side of me in an effort to keep warm.
The pressure of each body just noticeable in three places
Ask my ex mother in law that one, she was a friggin expert on the subject..anyway
Yesterday I went to see The Fabelmans which has been hailed as Spielberg’s oh so personal homage to cinema and his upbringing.
I enjoyed it , with reservations
The reservations came from Spielberg’s need to re-edit and if not re write, reshoot those vital and cinematic moments that punctuate all of our lives when growing up.
As a small child we see Sam ( Steve) recreate the famous train crash from The Greatest Show On Earth as we are introduced to his Elf like mother Mitzi ( Michelle Williams) a former concert pianist who still protects her hands by not washing up a dish, and who chases a tornado with her children in the car.
She is this ethereal character who despite being incredibly selfish, and at times depressed is shown, in a rather affectionate spotlight and centre stage. Sam’s father (Paul Dano) is benign and sweet as the man who finally accepts that his best friend Uncle Benny ( a restrained Seth Rogen) is the true love of Mitzi’s life.
It is clear that Spielberg’s childhood was unconventional to say the least, so it would be forgivable for the audience to accept how his love of cinema helped rewrite and certainly re-edit reality .
Labelle ( right)
The trouble with the whole film is that certain parts are simply not true. I listened to Lauren Lavern’s detailed interview with Spielberg on Desert Island Discs last year, where Spielberg admitted that he didn’t speak to his father for many years, a fact not even eluded to in the movie.
When a film makes the point of re-editing reality, does not the final version feel all a bit sanitised ?
Perhaps that is what Spielberg was wanting to get across?
It’s overlong by 30 minutes too 🥲
Having said all this Gabriel Labelle gave a gentle and intelligent performance as the 16 year old Spielberg and Michele Williams was incredibly moving and restrained as the rather lost Mitzi.
Bill and Frank in The Last Of Us
The Last Of Us is now on episode three on Sky Atlantic
This is a big budget, rather sprawling re working of a popular video game set in the zombie apocalypse where the undead sport feather like growths on their faces and where Joel ( Pedro Pascal) has to protect teenage Ellie ( Bella Ramsey) who is immune to the infection and who may be humanity’s only salvation .
It’s a bleak watch to be sure and until episode 3 ( shown last night) I wasn’t really happy with how things were going.
Last night the tables turned and we were introduced to two new characters Bill and Frank.( Nick Offerman and Murray Bartlet)
Bill, is a survivalist, the only character to remain in his tiny town of just a few streets. He had amassed a stockpile of weapons, gasoline, food and know how to fortify his home but after years of solitude is lonely as he enjoys the finer things in life which he can’t share. In one of his traps he captures the middle aged, garrulous Frank, the only survivor from a group from the city and suddenly the bleak zombie drama takes a severe right hand turn into a gentle and thoughtful character study about the love affair between two middle aged men.
It was quite, quite charming and wonderfully played by both actors who really made you believe that such an unlikely pair could make a go of things.
“ He has been with me for all of my life, so far, I’ve had no one as loyal or as long-standing in my life “
So did a patient describe her brother to me the other day.
It was a quote that lingered in my mind like a YouTube song
And is one that has a resonance for I got the quote as soon as it left the patient’s mouth.
I’ve mentioned it here on Going Gently a few times, that my childhood wasn’t a particularly happy one. Like many sixties and seventies kids , we were a product of our age…..emotionally absent parents but well looked after children, we had siblings and grandparents to nurture us, so we were the lucky ones.
But inside our own four walls things were often somewhat sad.
My patient shared a memory of her brother with me and told me of it’s significance. And over sixty years I thought of what one memory I could share that summed up my sisters’ and me.
I found one easily, perched happily in a cerebral cul de sac of childhood memories in 1972 or there abouts. Janet and I were around 10.
My sister Ann’s house One Saturday afternoon
I think we were making Christmas cards
Ann was singing badly. Singing the theme tune to a popular children’s magazine show at the time
My sister has been working in the garden and on the patio this morning. We’ve chatted in between jobs.
It’s nice to have someone around the cottage.
The sound of someone else pottering has been somewhat comforting.
Roger has adored the new company and has galloped good heartedly when the leaf blower was unleashed.
He’s watched Janet carefully, enjoying the novelty of a fresh face.
He hugged her before she left, as Welsh Terriers do
Eirlys called round with some free range eggs. You may remember I took her a beef stew the other day.
Not one for sentiment she told me that there was a letter for me in the egg box, thanking me for the thought. She held my eyes for a second longer than usual which was her way of hugging me.
I nodded that I understood.
She would have done the same for me.
I’m working tonight and tomorrow. I’m going to see Spielberg’s The Fabelmans on Monday afternoon. I’d planned to see it today but it’s a long film and needs a clear afternoon.
Spielberg’s upbringing was interesting and his family dynamic complicated.
I suspect the film was his therapy in a way……
I will leave you with this little ballet video…..enjoy your Saturday
Life is like a permanent kindergarten visit when they are always about.
Constant neediness, noise, motion and squabbles.
And of course, those are the very reasons I have them,
But just occasionally they can be exhausting and occasionally you have the need for silence
Total silence without burbs, farts, itches and barks.
And I went to sit in the churchyard for a while
Where it was cold and quiet with only the chirp of hedge sparrows for company.
I wrote this blog in my head as I sat there.
I’m having a grown up day today, which means that I’m going out to dinner with my friend Colin.
It was his birthday a few days ago and he was fed up at being alone on a work night, so I’m taking him out to dinner in Chester and will wear something ironed.
For the past few weeks have been exploring the knotty subject of self awareness in college and have been using the concept of the Johari Window in the look at self which is an interesting if not a bit clumsy psychological romp in itself. It’s always interesting to see yourself as others see you, especially when there is a real I see moment to be had.
I’m not good in asking for things I want off people
This is the simple jug I bought from Sainsbury’s yesterday . It’s robust and pleasing and suits the daffodils which I’ve now filled it. Tulips will look good in it too.
I took the dogs to Colwyn Bay Promenade first thing and bought daffodils from a little florist in the town before meeting a friend for brunch.
I think brunch is the go to eating event popular with people now. I love it much more that a late dinner out , not that I’m invited out late much anymore .
I popped in Eirlys’ beef casserole, wrote up some college notes and that’s it for the day.
A recent blood test showed I’m a bit anaemic so a crafty little snooze-Ette is the order of the late afternoon
It’s cool , but I cover me and the dogs in a throw and soon all of us will be asleep on the trendy couch .
Organic hot water bottles for each other
I will light the fire later.
Ps fire roaring , curried fish soup for supper, 2 hour chat with friend Nige on the phone
In my book and in my family Food can often be a metaphor for affection
I’m meeting my friend Colin on Friday and he’s a been a bit low as of late.
We are going out for supper.
Today I cooked a huge beef stew thickened with left over mash potato.
I left it cooking on low for hours, so tonight the meat fell apart as it should for the best comfort food.
I’ve plated a bowl up and wrapped it in foil .
I will take it around to Eirlys tomorrow morning. I can’t believe it’s been eight weeks since her husbands funeral. Food is always a good gift when grief is involved .
I skimmed a small bowl of gravy from the casserole and let it cool on the garden wall before taking it up to Albert who has been under the weather today .
He finished the lot
I was going out to a forensic talk on serial killers in llandudno tonight but couldn’t justify the 30 quid ticket cost ! Having said that I bought a pair of wellies and a reduced priced jug from Sainsbury’s this afternoon.
Last night, as I was driving home after college I listened to a little gem of a radio programme on radio 4
Set in a northern city school File On Four learning to survive , was a gentle, but honest look of how an inner city school deals with a population ravaged by the financial crisis .
One sequence, had me geared up at Bluebell’s wheel
It was the moment the school organised a “day in pyjamas”
The children and staff all turned up in nightware, which was not just a bit of fun , but a crafty way for the senior teacher to see which children needed a proper fitting set of pyjamas later in the year.
“Of course we provide the new Pj’s “ she added “;but only after they won them in a raffle”
And it was that lie that really broke my heart just a little.
I took the iris and lilies my sister donated to the TCA down to the pond this morning and submerged them in a space I found beyond the little jetty.
I checked with Nick who was one of the TCA that spearheaded the pond if I had done ok then came back home to shower all of the dogs, all of whom had acquired a real doggy pong.
Not surprisingly it was taking a neighbour to Dyserth for a doctor appointment that sealed their showers, the neighbour opened the passenger door window and poked a nose through when they thought I wasn’t looking.
I’ve been washing bedding and throws all morning.
Tuesdays , I’m in college 6pm until 9 but will get the library early to catch up on my workbooks and journal.
Jennifer Aldridge died rather fittingly with a glass of Prosecco in her hand and her sister, Lilian by her side, but all rather strangely this happened off screen as her son Adam burnt the carrots for a family dinner, and husband Brian shared a cheese cracker with Justin Elliot .
I was so surprised I had to stop the car on the Promenade in order to listen
Angela Piper has played Jennifer since 1963
A year after I was born
Jennifer always reminded me of my sister Ann in a way.
A fierce mother, a community stalwart, popular , and funny
She visited me today with lilies and iris for the village pond
And left on the patio table was homemade marmalade , cheese and chutney
I’ve not had much free time over the weekend but I’ve knuckled down and made more than a start on the Community Association web page, which I’m pleased about.
That’s one less thing to get done. I have yet to expand the page suggesting the hall is an ideal venture for a “ do it yourself “ wedding. We’ve had a few of those over the years and they have proved to be quite delightful.
There is nothing I want to see at the cinema this week.
Spielberg’s homage to cinema and his family is on next week but this week’s offering of Babylon has left me somewhat cold.
My book club book arrived Three Hours By Rosamund Lupton
“ John can you sort out the visitors for your patient ? we have more requesting to come in”
So asked one of the support workers on Intensive Care when I was at my busiest time.
My patient was dying and we as a team were withdrawing treatment from him which meant that extra ventilatory support and meds keeping his blood pressure elevated would be discontinued after a long discussion with family.
The patient’s family was with him but as the patient was a popular man, extended family and friends kept turning up at the door. At these times the next of kin would organise which people would be able to visit and who wouldn’t and it was my job to sensitively put those wishes into practice.
I entered our small sitting area outside the ICU and fielded requests to come in.
I had almost finished when a man in his sixties approached and said he was an old friend of my patient.
He had been told earlier of the present dire situation the patient was in and was clutching a small sunflower in both hands. He had been crying.
I know visiting is only for family” he said quietly “ But could you give him this ?”
He gave me the sunflower
I said I would even though it was against policy to accept flowers and as the man nodded a tearful thank you he almost stumbled through the automatic door back into the hospital corridor.
Something made me follow him and as he caught his breath. I asked him if he was alright
He pointed back to intensive care
“ He was my sunshine” the visitor said crying and he reached out to hold my hand for a moment
“He was always my sunshine”
His words and his grief has always stuck with me even until now, some fifteen years later
And I was glad to have been able to place the sunflower next to that patient
