“ He has been with me for all of my life, so far, I’ve had no one as loyal or as long-standing in my life “
So did a patient describe her brother to me the other day.
It was a quote that lingered in my mind like a YouTube song
And is one that has a resonance for I got the quote as soon as it left the patient’s mouth.
I’ve mentioned it here on Going Gently a few times, that my childhood wasn’t a particularly happy one. Like many sixties and seventies kids , we were a product of our age…..emotionally absent parents but well looked after children, we had siblings and grandparents to nurture us, so we were the lucky ones.
But inside our own four walls things were often somewhat sad.
My patient shared a memory of her brother with me and told me of it’s significance. And over sixty years I thought of what one memory I could share that summed up my sisters’ and me.
I found one easily, perched happily in a cerebral cul de sac of childhood memories in 1972 or there abouts. Janet and I were around 10.
My sister Ann’s house One Saturday afternoon
I think we were making Christmas cards
Ann was singing badly. Singing the theme tune to a popular children’s magazine show at the time
And all I remember was laughter
Pure, unchecked, silly, belly laugh, laughter
I'm so glad that there was happy, belly laughs at Ann's home tucked in those memories of your childhood.
ReplyDeleteMay your life be rich with laughter f forever more.
Hugs!
And yours too Babs
DeleteI must be a rarity, as I had a very happy childhood. I am a great laugher. Occasionally I laugh myself into tears, and my family all laugh even louder, saying "He's off again".
ReplyDeleteTherefore ,You have given them, some lovely memories
DeleteIt is a good memory to retain. There is not enough proper good laughter in my life now.
ReplyDeleteThat’s such a sad thing to say
DeleteLaughing until your belly aches is rare, for me at least, but so good. Hold on to those happy memories, they're gold. xx
ReplyDeleteIt was, it is
DeleteIsn't it interesting that the richest and most enduring memories are of the smallest yet brightest and most bonding events? Pure moments in time always recalled in technicolour. Just lovely. Something precious that only children like me can envy.
ReplyDeleteI will steal that comment, as I like it’s way of picturing the time and place …” pure moments in time always recalled in technicolour”
DeleteMy pleasure to pass it along to you. Thrilled your post has drawn such wonderful memories and stories shared from your readers.
DeleteMy mum was very attentive and fussing over me - a bit much really - but as a teenager we were very close -Same humour which dad didn't grasp - He was protective of us though - my world x
ReplyDeleteAnd a nice world
DeleteWas it Magpie? One for sorrow, two for joy, three for a girl, four for a boy...... ma a a ag pie e i e i ..........! My sister and me used to use a patch of lino in the living room as a stage and perform our own 'show' called the Snow White and Jen show!!!!! :)
ReplyDeleteIt was magpie indeed
DeleteMy siblings, only 5 and 8 years older than me, cared for me and kept our home together after the death of both parents, but I also remember lots of laughter between us, including my 6'4" brother falling off the chair laughing at Tom and Jerry, and my sister and I laughing at him rolling around helpless on the floor.
ReplyDeleteMy sister and me reeling aimlessly in the street singing over and over again the entirety of John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt. It ended up being what I sang in my head to survive her funeral.
ReplyDeleteThis is one of the most moving comments I've ever read. Poignant. Beautiful. I'm glad you had a sister who meant the world to you. I'm sorry for your loss. I bet you feel it's sting still--at least sometimes.
DeleteI agree susan
DeleteMitchell how lovely
DeleteSusan Z: Thanks for your empathy. My sister died at the age of 29 and, yes, I will forever feel the sting of that loss.
DeleteI don't understand your reference to "My sister Ann’s house". Did Ann live in a different house from you and Janet?
ReplyDeleteMy sister was then married, she is older than us young uns
DeleteA happy memory! It's hard to beat a good, long laugh.
ReplyDeleteMutual laugh
DeleteI am lucky to have my 3 siblings living in the same city as I do. We can still make each other laugh (or cry together if we need to).
ReplyDeleteYour sisters and you seem to enjoy each other's company still. xx
We do
DeleteFamily dynamics include the good, bad and ugly. So it is.
ReplyDeleteAlways remember the good times. Laughter is the best medicine in the world.
Amen and well said . I”.met” a friend online tonight and they didn’t laugh , something they always usually do
DeleteThat's a lovely memory to have!
ReplyDeleteIt makes me smile
DeleteThis explains the reason why you are the nice man you are.
ReplyDeleteI think it explains why nurture is so important in our upbringings
DeleteNot all children can remember laughter in their lives - so in that sense you were lucky John - I think what was often lacking in that age was an open show of affection. The love was there but you didn;t show it.
ReplyDeleteYes a good point . I was lucky we had physical affection from my grandmother as well as my older sister
DeleteI think what you are describing is one of those rare moments of joy.
ReplyDeletePure joy ……I think children that have had sadder upbringings concentrate their memories on such moments
DeleteMagpie she was singing Magpie ! ♥️....very badly lol x
ReplyDeleteYes , spoken by someone who was there and who agrees
DeleteOh My Goodness, what a happy and most wonderful memory. It is the little joy filled times that we remember.
ReplyDeleteYour memories regarding nursing have been so moving to read over the years but this one kind of stands out to me because of it’s calm simplicity.
ReplyDeleteYou nurtured each other out of your sadness
We did indeed
DeleteIt's always such a gift to find good memories.
ReplyDeleteI remember my Auntie Pearl and my mum laughing so hard I thought they were going to pee their pants. They were playing bingo at the fair, and someone else called out bingo, when mum and Pearl only had one spot left. One of them said, "Shit!" loud enough for everyone to hear. They left in a hurry, laughing all the way.
I call it a steven Spielberg or woodyallen moment in their films when they capture something so similar we’ve seen in our childhoods
DeleteJohn in Palliative care like you I find I often get stopped in my tracks by something a patient says even if it’s a simple ThankYou At a difficult moment .I had older parents who loved me dearly and showed it but as an only child I longed for a sibling to share with mind by cousins hated each other !!!
ReplyDeleteYes, I think with patients there are hidden emotions behind comments which you pick up with a trained ear
DeleteI love your turn of phrase "cerebral cul-de-sac" and also the memory you found there. I'm glad you had openly loving siblings. My mother was mostly emotionally absent as well but I always attributed it to not having a mother of her own from a young age. Today you have made me take a look at how that might have affected me and my feelings toward her as she ages with dementia.
ReplyDeleteI was lucky as they were..we all hand our gran who the biggest of hearts
DeleteAt least you could come up with one memory. I have had to cut some toxic people out of my life, and that includes siblings.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
I’m sorry for that Janie x so sorry
DeleteI am better off without them, but thank you.
DeleteI cannot recall a single argument with my brother, and he's 70 now, while I am 67. I can recall a few things I did that should have annoyed him, but never did, as far as I recall.
ReplyDeleteBrothers often irritate each other drastically , you are lucky
DeleteThere was nothing "wrong" with my childhood but I don't remember laughing.
ReplyDeleteWith my own children we often found ourselves standing in the kitchen for no real reason and laughing until we cried.
I’m sure you did given the second paragraph
DeleteI'm an only child whose parents divorced when I was 13. My Mama and I had good times together, so just thinking about her makes me smile. xoxo
ReplyDeleteLaughter the best of life .
ReplyDeleteGemma's Person
DeleteJust wonderful how close and supportive your sisters are, and also your grandmother was.
ReplyDeleteAll happy families are the same. All unhappy families are unhappy in their own way...
ReplyDeleteA deep and happy memory stands out from the mundane and sometimes unpleasant.
ReplyDeleteIt is a rare thing to have someone in your life that you can unselfconsciously throw back your head and laugh until the tears flow. I can count those people on one hand at this point.
ReplyDeleteNu is another , Nigel, Mike, Jane, john are others
DeleteVery proud to be included in your circle of laughter.
Delete