And My Dick’s a kipper



 I went to see Enys Men this morning. Apparently Enys is the old Cornish word for Island which is interesting as the Welsh word for Island is Ynys. 
Anyhow Enys Men was advertised as a horror film set on a1973 Cornish Island. 
I see that the word horror was used somewhat loosely.

It’s an experimental, abstract film where the mundane daily routine of a wildlife volunteer almost morphs into the history, tragedy and nature of an old Cornish mining island. Set in 1973 we follow the naturalist’s daily routine until no one really knows their arses from their elbows, so atmospheric as it was , I lost the will to live by minute 45, so walked out even though I was sure that the leading lady’s red anorak had something to do with the killer dwarf in Dont Look Now ( filmed in 1973)
Subsequently I found out that Mark Kamode gave it 5 stars .
Fuck me that must have been a slow day for him.


One of the Storyhouse volunteers fussed around me with hand twitching when he saw me walk out.
“ Everything all right?” he twittered
It’s not very good “ I told him 
He made the mistake of arguing.
As a horror film it’s got a lot excellent reviews” he countered 
if this was a horror film, then my Dick’s a kipper” I told him.
It’s a favourite saying of mine, and did what it was meant to do 
It underlined a point. 

It was still lunchtime when I left the cinema so I went to the Thai and Thai food stall in Chester Market and ordered their chicken pad Thai , which is glorious. 
I like the new dining area in the market as it consists of long tables  which have to be shared.

Sirikorn Jones who runs Thai On Thai



I picked up my food as a take out and literally bumped into Faisal from book club who was waiting for some Bangladeshi food from Guroma.
He shook my hand formally as he did when we met at book club and we had a drink together before and after our beepers went off, signalling that our food was ready .
He’s a nice chap, very chatty.





52 comments:

  1. Oh, you KNOW I came for the title.
    And I feel you. I recently watched a David Cronenberg movie and I ask myself what I had gotten myself into. Body horror kind of freaks me out.
    And Yay for Thai food! So delish. I love lemongrass soup, but alas, I cannot take too much hot spice in it.

    XOXO

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    1. I used to have one title a week as fruity…lol.
      This Thai “ hut” provides one of the best meals I have tasted in recent years

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  2. Out of curiosity John, what would you pay for a Pad Thai over there? We love Thai and I always order that dish but with shrimp or tofu (I'm a non-meat eater). Your meal looked awesome.
    I hate bad movies - at least watching them on the TV I can always get up and go to another room, or pour myself a glass of wine, haha!

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    1. I think it was 9 £ with chicken mary

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  3. I like Faisal - I expect he doesn't own a kipper x 🐟

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    1. I have no idea what that sentence means lol

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    2. I just wondered if he may have a pet baluga John x

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    3. Hahaha!

      Jo in Auckland

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  4. Barbara Anne4:43 pm

    Too bad your Thursday morning movie wasn't worth enduring.
    Am glad worthy food and a friend helped save the day!
    We had a dusting of snow this morning, first snow thei winter.
    I'm making a Rail Fence baby quilt and am enjoying the happy fabrics I'm suing.

    Hugs!

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    1. Even a bad film is worth seeing , they all can’t be great …..I never read reviews if I can, well only until AFTER I have seen it and I just didn’t get Kamode’s thoughts on the movie .
      He did somewhat patronisingly state he thought some people would find it frustrating

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  5. Please make that 'the happy fabrics I am using'. Ta.

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  6. Anonymous4:58 pm

    Several things came together for you two to meet again out. Nice to have a new friend.

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    Replies
    1. He’s quite charming . I look forward in discussing the book in a couple of weeks time

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  7. I read the reviews, think I'll pass on the movie.
    Your dick's a kipper? I had to look up kipper. I like the expression though, even though I lack the requisite dick.

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    1. Interestingly I cannot find any reference to my saying except this slightly different one

      https://www.phrases.org.uk/bulletin_board/49/messages/812.html

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  8. I'm always suspicious of 5 star reviews. Generally means the film is average at best. I can imagine the reaction you got from "My dick's a kipper." Wish I had the necessary to be able to use that one! Faisal seems like a nice, interesting chap. Let's hope a deep friendship develops there. xx

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    1. Reading many of the reviews this afternoon, I’m wondering if I was watching the same movie

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  9. Any sparks between you and Faisal? Yes, I'm a nosy bitch.

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  10. Replies
    1. Not by your experiences lol

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    2. Says that man who has had more casual sex than a Queensferry hooker x

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  11. Yorkshire Liz7:01 pm

    Mark Kermode is not always right! In fact some times he spectacularly gets the wrong end of the stick! This looks like one of these times. When you are a professional critic it is too easy to get too deep into the academia of the thing, and forget that films are there to entertain as well as educate; and when you see parallels with other things you can often be looking at something lazily knocked together, using too much borrowed imagery, or far too far up it's own - er - concept. I also prefer going to the cinema in the morning; no popcorn, no kids who don't know how to behave in a communal viewing space, audiences that know what they are seeing....plus, I think, the critical faculty is pretty sharp in the mornings. I too would have preferred that delicious looking meal!

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    1. I could sense that several of the other 8 patrons were restless just before I left…I had a feeling a couple more would have liked to follow me

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  12. I hope your dick doesn't turn out to be a kipper, although I love the expression. (And it's so you.)

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    1. Well it’s certainly past it’s sell by date xx

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  13. It's unusual for me to walk out of a film, it has to be so bad I just can't endure another minute. Jenny and I went to a live stream of the National Theatre's The Crucible a few days ago and there was something wrong with the sound level. We walked out and got some complimentary tickets for future showings.

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    1. That’s different ..I once went to a filmshowing in theatre clwyd many years ago and two reels were put the wrong way around, and me and my friend were the only people who noticed

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  14. Interesting expression no doubt, one they will never forget ha. Warm greetings!

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  15. Anonymous9:17 pm

    I know of the saying "I don't give a kippers dick" meaning not to care about something. Obviously a kippers dick would be very small!
    Are you perhaps getting mixed up with that saying?

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    1. My dicks a kipper means to me that I don’t believe you

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    2. So either I’ve amended it ( which I doubt ) as I often steal good comments

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    3. Anonymous9:53 pm

      Fawning over a new younger and ethic face John ?

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    4. No , but you think what u like

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    5. Anonymous12:58 am

      I mixed up making a silk purse out of a sow's ear and gilding to lily, and ever since we've said don't gild the sow's ear. :D My other fave home saying is, don't over-egg the Marri-anne (sp), as we're Jane Austen fans and love watching the dramatics of said character in the versions of sense and sensibility we own. If one says it to the other, we know we're overdoing something. :D Tina in West Oz.

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  16. The only film I have walked out of was The Bourne Supremacy. I felt sick by the way it had been filmed. Camera moving all over the place! No time to focus on anything before it was off again. Paul Greengrass was the director.I watched it later on dvd .Not a bad film when your senses aren't swamped by a huge screen.

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    1. His film about 9/11 was amazing , but I get what you say

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  17. Sounds like your afternoon went exactly as it should have. Also- I am now going to start saying, "My dick's a kipper." That should confuse a few people.

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  18. The Thai food sounds delicious. You have not walked out of a movie recently. I guess they all can't be winners. A chance meeting with your book club friend and a friendly chat, added nicely to your day.

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  19. 'Enys' - 'Ynys' - both coming from Brythonic languages. 'Enez' is 'isle' in the other Brythonic tongue, Breton. If they're not then my dick's a kipper too! Useful phrase that, a must use. Haven't seen the film so can't comment - supposedly a 'folk-horror' - but on your review, not the 'Wicker Man'. Buy or stream 'The Shout' (1978) instead. John Hurt, a rugged 70s Alan Bates, and the lovely Susannah York.

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  20. The Power of the Dog. Everyone loved that. I settled in to watch a good movie. It was excruciating. I couldn't bear to watch that poor miserable woman. About half way through, Tim said, 'That's it. I can't take this...'

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  21. I have always known 'kipper' as the word for the female bit.

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    1. That makes more sense

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    2. A Kipper ! - If I may say - I - have a darling oyster x

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  22. Ha! That's a good expression. I hope the guy at the cinema got a laugh from it. Now I'm curious about this movie and whether I'd have the same reaction, but I'm not sure I'm curious enough to see it.

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  23. You just know when you have to walk out on a film don't you. I do it very rarely, but when I do I am usually in a bit of a daze, wondering what the bloody hell was supposed to be going on.

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  24. Anonymous2:20 pm

    I have never heard that expression before but then I am hardly likely to ever use it am I?

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  25. Anne Brew3:54 pm

    Everyone Loved The Banshees of Inisherin but I was maddened by its inaccuracies.

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  26. I have only walked out on a movie once. These days I barely go to the movies as most are not worth the price of admission.

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