Borborygmi


I've just eaten my first meal in 24 hours
As a friend has just texted
" Things could go either way!!!"
I am reminded of my favourite medical term here
Borborygmi
It's a fantastic word
Bor-Bor-yg-mi
It means abnormal and loud bowel sounds 

What a great word
It pissing down today and I don't want to venture out more than a frenetic wriggle walk away from the nearest loo just in case!
Subsequently I'm a bit bored.
The girls have just been taken out by the sexy bearded dog walker and are all wet and doggy smelling

I have a lump of clay underneath the sink
I think I may start my chess set

My borborygmi is loud !
Am I gonna blow?

Favourite words please , the odder the better

Pain

A friend of mine shared that they were sexually abused as a child, just the other day.
His eyes were dark and pained , even though he was smiling
The comment was almost hidden within another comment on another subject but it was there and screamed within a sentence like an Opera singer's High B
I've heard many confessions like this before. Being a former Samaritan it was an almost commonplace event on the phone lines
But it was only a second such sharing I had ever received from a friend
And I paused for a moment
Thinking carefully on how to respond.
" That was a brave thing to share" I told him after the pause
He nodded and made light of everything so I asked if he wanted to talk about things
"Not now!" he told me firmly
And that's where we left it

There is so much pain hidden away in some people
The secret of it sometimes showing in their eyes

The Barmaid and The Squits


Winnie's squits resolved yesterday
Mine started yesterday,
No connection there but conincidence
Serendipity is not a word to used when your bowels are playing up
and you are never so vulnerable as a human when you have the squits

I'm annoyed
I'm annoyed because I will off work at least three days
and I don't get paid for days off sick

Luckily I had already booked the sexy bearded dog walker , so at least the girls have had a good walk.
I dare not venture too far from home
Yesterday I had a " bit of an incident " in the lane which necessitated a quick-sticks gallop for home and a hot bath!
I won't paint a further picture of the afternoon!

Today I'm a little washed out.
I slept too long yesterday and already today, I have cat napped on the couch whilst the dogs were out.
This afternoon I took an Imodium and took a chance to go out to buy dog food

Being ill, when single makes for self pity
Everyone wants someone to stroke your hair when you're poorly.

However the positive of today was a brief moment listening to radio four .
It was an arbitrary arts programme where some articulate Boffin was discussing art
The painting he was discussing was A Bar At The Follies Bergere by Manet, which I suddenly realised was the piece of art I was most impressed with on a visit to The Courtauld Gallery back in 2017
The Boffin explained the painting's possible meanings in relation to the power of the barmaid Suzon
As well as the power of women in general and it was lovely to have that " ah ha!" moment, albeit years later when I realised just how complicated the set up and the positioning were to Manet.
I enjoy looking deeper into things like I did when I studied film at Sheffield Hallam University

It's time I did some serious study again
But not today


Agapanthus

The white agapanthus sun burst

I was up early dealing with Winnie's " accidents in the night" and now the cottage smells of dettol and grass cuttings as the cottage windows are wide and open and welcoming.and the sound of the washing machine wafts down the lane with a purr.

It's a bright lovely morning.

The velvet voiced Linda has already sent out her weekly morale boosting Warden message and like any good leader would expect the replies have been making my phone wriggle with excitement as they come in
Happy Sunday one and all. It's a truly beautiful morning. I hope you're all well and that life is good in your part of the village. HUGE thank yous for your kindness and generosity - you are a wonderful bunch ๐Ÿ’•๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿค— xxxxx
All seems well in the village, according to the warden replies anyhow .
There is a meeting in the village hall soon about the hall putting in for a drinks licence next week and work continues to obtain funding for the clearing of the village pond
Old Trevor rang me earlier  complaining that the binmen had taken his recycling bags.
I told him I had found them wedged in the fence and I would return them shortly
He wished me a good Sunday
There feels a change in the air , which I think Hattie sort of captured in her Warden reply to General Linda
"The outlying areas all quiet and we're all okay over here thank you lovely linda :) the world is slowly finding its way isn't it! Xx๐Ÿ’ž
Im going to visit a couple of friends later, but as the sun is shining and it's warm and comfortable  I'm off to plant foxgloves and salvia in the garden,


I note that the Ginger Bastard is sitting very erect  in the long grass of the old Church Yard. He is watching the cottage . Dotty and Albert are sunbathing on the path  and have no idea they are being watched
The white agapanthus I planted a couple of months ago has now started to flower with exuberant firework bursts blooms
They look quite magnificent against the dry stone wall

Counting Butterflies


Last night the Royal Opera House streamed the ballet Romeo And Juliet 
I missed it 
I had my third date with the same guy
He is an emotionally intelligent soul with a gift of the gab
He stayed over and enjoyed counting bufferfly species on the buddleia  in the front garden this morning over coffee
Gossip will be rife in this part of the village!
Tee hee

I'll catch up with the Ballet tonight on line
I so miss going in person

Gobby

The older I get , the more I call people out
I think it's a confidence thing rather than a don't give a shit thing

Staying silent is often a more pragmatic and safe option
But I'm sorry I just cannot shut my mouth when I think it should be open.
In Liverpool , I would be referred as a bit Gobby

Shortly before I retired I witnessed a senior member of staff talk down to and essentially bully a large group of experienced nurses. Hierarchy and habit prevented anyone from saying anything and I was so glad I turned and said clearly and assertively that I didn't agree with what she was saying.
Surprised the senior staff repeated herself with thin lips
And so did I, without emotion
And the atmosphere in the room became charged with uncomfortable embarrassment and stress.
I'm better with an audience when things like this happen
But I will only challenge in public if the other protagonist starts it in public.
She brought the problem to the table and I picked up the plate.

Generally disagreements , especially at work should be done behind closed doors.

I am a Gemini , so I am quick to temper and equally quick to settle
But I am also blessed with an ability to think quickly which is a useful thing when confronting an issue head on.
However if there is too much emotion in the arguement , as there was when I had to deal with my ex husband's lies, then that quick witted ability went out of the window!!
I am, however also cursed with the scourge which is the blush.
A childhood habit from a less than confident upbringing

Anyhow less about me

When did you last call someone out? What happened?
How did you feel....?
Over to the readers in this last blog today
Your stories are always so more interesting than mine

The Goats Of Llandudno

The wild goats that live on the Orme behind my hospice have been seen in Llandudno
centre again.
This time a group of Billy goats all queued up outside a barbers shop
You couldn't make it up

Attention to detail Nurse Gray ..attention to detail!!!!



" Pay particular attention to the details of your work. 
Paying attention to detail makes for the personal touch...it is thoughtful and  it is kind"

This was a particular manra of my tutor Mr Brint , back in my psychiatric days
I remember it well as in one lession we had, the class was taught how to put ladies hair rollers in! 
The ladies were a group of "patient volunteers" from the long stay ward and Mr Brint and a tired looking Occupational therapist were showing us all how to shampoo and set!
" Hair and make up are vital for good self esteem" Mr Brint trilled " Everyone can be made to feel beautiful " 
He looked over at me as I manfully tried to roll my patient's grey locks around a roller which resembled a hairy caterpillar 
" And how is your lady looking Nurse Gray?" he purred 
I looked at my lady's head thick with haphazard looking rollers 
" She looks like a German mine!" I told him honestly 
His heart was always in the right place 

Mr Brint was right. It is attention to detail that makes a difference 
I was reminded of that yesterday when I collected my mail from my work pidgeon box
In it was a thank you card. 

Hand written from a friend of a patient who had died  a couple of months ago now.
The friend thanked me , not for  any sparking nursing care  but for a small moment of attention to detail where I had " sneaked " into the patient's room , two large rum and cokes from the kitchen booze stores which I had presented to them both on a tray with a paper doily on it.

They had Mr Brint to thank for that one

" Attention to detail Nurse Gray, Attention to detail!" 

I was reminded again of all this by a gift pushed through the letterbox
It was a gift from fellow Chorister Hattie and the accompanying letter was written to me and another  choir member Heulwen 
We of the " Trelawnyd Sandwich" . 
Before lockdown we had all agreed to go to the cinema to see Military Wives.
You know the choir based  feel good movie
But real life and covid had gotten in the way, so on the first week of the DVD being released Hattie had bought us a copy to watch, one that we all three could talk about when we eventually meet up in Heulwen's garden.

Thoughtful and kind.....
Mr Brint would have approved of this attention to detail....


Ps thank you all for Winnie concern
She is brighter this morning x

Tick


6.00 am
Dogs walked ...tick
Uniform...........tick
Bucket of coffee.....tick
Low cal stew for lunch........tick
Winnie check.........tick

Back to work ....sigh

They tear my heart


It's ten pm and I'm off to bed soon. I'm working tomorrow,
the dog walker and Trendy Carol are on hand tomorrow !!
The steroids and other meds kicked in and Winnie rallied again this afternoon
She's had more comebacks than Lazarus
I have a feeling it will be her last.
At 8 pm she finished a second small bowl of chicken and rice and peed like a horse on my lovely new garden lawn.
She then climbed heavily onto the couch and promptly fell asleep with a  sharp fart
But not before she shlepped over to me in my armchair
Where she stood , and raised her head for a kiss goodnight

These dogs tear my heart 

Poorly


Winnie was sicker that I had probably realised yesterday.
Old dogs are often like children when poorly.
They compensate for so long then crash.
And enteritis is nasty
The vet was very pragmatic and between ourselves meds and steroids were given and a plan of action agreed upon .
She came home
But  was listless and sleepy later in the afternoon than I would have liked .
We both slept on the sofa cushions on the kitchen floor last night
And by around four am , I woke up with her walking around the kitchen searching for her food bowl.
She drank a gallon of water and sucked up a cocktail sausage before we went back to sleep and now she's eaten some chicken and rice and had a massive wee outside
Work have been fab as I've taken another day off
But , true to form ,
The old girl has started to bounce back

Bucket of coffee time 

A Dinner Gong At A Bulimics' Convention

I haven't gone to work today.
Winnie needed the vets.
Work was understanding and I owe them a day
She' s ok, weak with enteritis and old age
She's very still today and very lethargic
These animals will be the death of me !

That phrase haunts me daily

I was drinking my bucket of coffee at the kitchen table when there came an unholy and very angry howling from the garden
The Ginger Bastard was back!
Now for months a large ginger Tomcat has been tormenting Albert
Most of their interactions have been confined to bitch staring each other out along the perimeter of each other's territories, but occasionally the ginger Bastard , forgets the rules and ventures across the building site behind the cottage with a noticeable swagger , and enters my garden with a narrowing of his eyes.
He is younger and bigger than Albert
And unlike him, has four fully functioning legs.
Today Albert caught him in the garden and a cat fight began
It started suddenly and loudly with both cats yowling at the top of their voices
And to one Welsh terrier and one inexperienced bulldog bitch
The noise was as galvanising as a dinner gong at a bulimics' convention
The  girls thundered out of the cottage like rats up a drainpipe.

The gate into the garden proper stopped Mary short but being a little bundle of pure bulldog muscle Dorothy sailed over it with a single bound. Within a second she had barrelled into the  Tom like an American footballer and the Ginger Bastard bounced over the kitchen wall as if he was made of rubber.
Albert ran for the safety of the kitchen, wide eyed and ruffled .

I had to go after Dorothy and eventually found her grinning wildly and proud in old Trevor's miniature orchard
All for one and one for all is the motto of all dogs,
they love a good chase and an underdog to watch out for
Mary checking on Albert after the incident 


Iris in the window


I'm reading a book but am doing it slowly as I don't want the story to end
It's approaching  dusk
and it's my last day of holiday
I've facetimed friends whilst cooking and texted others
My nephew sent me the address of his new YouTube channel
I watched that for a while
I'm looking at the blue iris in the window
A gift from a recent date
Blue iris are my favourite flowers
All the Street Wardens called " all is well" to the Velvet Voiced Linda on what's app today and
my sister has almost finished reorganising the back garden and worked there quietly this afternoon as I pottered
Winnie isn't very well
I'm holding onto my holiday like I did my novel ...I don't want to go back to work tomorrow

Misbehaviour

Miss Grenada Gugu Mbatha Raw

A few months ago I listened to the BBC radio 4 programme The Reunion 
It brought together several characters involved in the 1970 Miss World competition , the televised event that featured  MC Bob Hope ,accusations of cheating  the pageant's first black winner and a show stopping demonstration by a women's rights group, and the subsequent revisiting of the story proved to be riveting radio.
The film Misbehaviour is a comic drama which explores multiple themes relation to this now defunked and archaic spectacle.
We follow disillusioned history student Sally ( Keira Knightly) as she joins in with a radical London feminist group in its efforts to disrupt the show at the same time as we follow three of the contestants of the pageant itself.
Miss Sweden ( Clare Roseger) is bored and rebellious of the constraints and treatment put on the girls and wants to study where as the newer black contestants Miss Grenada ( Gugu Mbatha Raw) and the token black South African ( Lorrie Harrison ) are just grateful for a new experience to travel and take part.
Add to the mix a womanising Bob Hope ( Greg Kinnear) and his somewhat strained relationship with his long suffering wife Delores ( Lesley Manville).A tragic and sexist Eric Morley ( Rhys Ifans) whose power lies in his soft spoken wife Julia ( Keely Hawes), a woman who realises that lip service has to be played to the black consentants on show and top heavy black biased judging panel.

As you can see, the film has a great deal to say , not only on feminism , but on racism and relationships in general and provides a facinating snapshot of a place in time, a place that feels sometimes( but not always) a million miles away from today

The disruption of the show, somewhat over shadowed the fact the two black contestants won first and second place, black women of spirit whose lives were inhanced by their success.
Indeed Miss Grenada ( Jennifer Hosten) in her gracious review of the competition in the radio some forty years later had only good things to say about the event and interestingly she went on to become  the Grenadan High Comissioner to Canada .

The cast , as you can see , are a dream bunch , and the performances are top notch .Ifans and Manville  almost steal the show with their tiny but very telling parts, Knightly is as good as she always is, but it's a very still and subtle performance by Gugu Mbatha Raw that impresses the most

It was lovely to be back in the cinema again
Social distancing kept chatting to a minimum and the Storyhouse in Chester had organised everything quite wonderfully 

Flabbergasted


I am in Chester just over the border
The city is busy, well it feels busy post lockdown
I'm having a take out coffee from my fave cafe
Then off to the storyhouse cinema
Hardly anyone is wearing a mask!
I cant quite understand it

A Constant

Sheffield triplets mike Jane and me 

Jane is a constant in my life
A former girlfriend from our joint salad days of 30 years ago
She had stood by my coming out with typical Yorkshire alacrity  and with true Sheffield pragmatism
She became one of my best friends of thirty years

I love her dearly

Now Lockdown has given us a what's app forum for conversation and We talk every week on line and laugh like children when we do so

She is as necessary to me as breathing x

What Ive Got

It's almost the end of my holiday.
And all but one job on my now slightly dog eared to do list have now been ticked off.

But I still have a few wants, a few objectives to complete once I save up enough money.
I have a dreadfully old fashioned bathroom which needs completely overhauling
The bed mattress still doesn't quite fit my bed frame and the carpet in the spare room is a total disgrace
The living room Carpet too is in need of a change and my bedroom needs an upgrade........

I want
I need
I haven't got

But let's get things in perspective
Let's look what I have got

I have this!!!!!


28

Sheffield  circa 1990 my sister is holding my cat Joan

I was 28 in this photo, it was sent to me this evening
Apparantly 28 is the age , almost everyone feels that they are no matter the actual truth
28 is an optimum year.....supposedly
I met my Samaritan friends this afternoon
We all sat on the beach with flasks of coffee and ice cream cones and we talked
Chic Eleanor was minus her signature pashmina which seemed odd.
We laughed and joked and talked about dating, and sex and life and work.
And we talked about being single
I was single for much of my twenties into my early thirties
Ten years alone all told apart from a lovely few years with jane
The photograph underlines many things but it certainly proved that
Singleton days forged  me friends for life

Joan died in Trelawnyd some 20 years later



Showroom

I'm on the last leg on my holiday
Just five more days left!
The next three days I am seeing different friends each day
It's face to face ( ish) meetings
More walks on the beach, coffee in flasks and windswept hairdos
But Saturday, I am doing something different
The story house

I am going to the cinema!!!!
It's been over four months since I last went and I am venturing over the border to Chester to Storyhouse
Ok I am not going to any pub and I will keep away from the shops
But I am going to socially distance inside my most loved cinema
And I will shed a tear at my return to this, most loved of treats!

Last night it was my choir's sixth birthday and as a surprise for Jamie ( and his 1940s RAF moustache) we his choristers made homemade posters declaring our affection for him
He was very moved and we, his choir ( mostly people that are old enough to be his parents) were happy that we had indeed made him happy!!


Talking Heads was a disappointment last night
Martin Freeman's portrayal of a mentally ill gay son carer of an elderly Yorkshire mother in A Chip In The Sugar had too much light and speed to it to be effective and Rochenda Sandall 's 
powerful performance in The Outside Dog, although undeniably well acted , remained a bleak study of an obsessive woman's gradual awareness that her husband was a serial killer, was totally devoid of Bennett's signature flashes of humour and light.





Beach Bitch Time



I wrote a worthy and rather indulgent post early this morning which I pulled
It was important to write but not to post if you get my meaning
Those that have already read it, will understand I am sure.
Now I post a photo of myself and the girls
Indulgent me!?
Naw!
Anyhow it's Tuesday, I think
Yes it's Tuesday .....Choir night !

I took the younger girls on an 8 mile beach walk and timed it well enough to meet an old friend for proper coffee overlooking Liverpool Bay

Yesterday, I found a heart shaped pebble tucked away on a book shelf
It was no larger than a postage stamp and it had been there perhaps 16 years
I painted it a cheerful yellow and wrote on it stay safe
And left it on the head of the ever growing covid snake which stretches from the lytch gate towards the church