Friday, 10 July 2020

Gobby

The older I get , the more I call people out
I think it's a confidence thing rather than a don't give a shit thing

Staying silent is often a more pragmatic and safe option
But I'm sorry I just cannot shut my mouth when I think it should be open.
In Liverpool , I would be referred as a bit Gobby

Shortly before I retired I witnessed a senior member of staff talk down to and essentially bully a large group of experienced nurses. Hierarchy and habit prevented anyone from saying anything and I was so glad I turned and said clearly and assertively that I didn't agree with what she was saying.
Surprised the senior staff repeated herself with thin lips
And so did I, without emotion
And the atmosphere in the room became charged with uncomfortable embarrassment and stress.
I'm better with an audience when things like this happen
But I will only challenge in public if the other protagonist starts it in public.
She brought the problem to the table and I picked up the plate.

Generally disagreements , especially at work should be done behind closed doors.

I am a Gemini , so I am quick to temper and equally quick to settle
But I am also blessed with an ability to think quickly which is a useful thing when confronting an issue head on.
However if there is too much emotion in the arguement , as there was when I had to deal with my ex husband's lies, then that quick witted ability went out of the window!!
I am, however also cursed with the scourge which is the blush.
A childhood habit from a less than confident upbringing

Anyhow less about me

When did you last call someone out? What happened?
How did you feel....?
Over to the readers in this last blog today
Your stories are always so more interesting than mine

116 comments:

  1. I prefer to keep my own counsel and rarely call anybody out because I know that when I do I am like a raging bull. Past experience has taught me that it's normally best for me to keep quiet. However, I have a sneaking admiration for those - like yourself - whose instinct is to raise their heads above the parapet and challenge.

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    1. Like with the sister in my illustration , I find it useful just to repeat that I disagree
      That forces them to either back down or to ask for clarification

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  2. I don’t know if I’d called someone out but I tend to be blunt in my assessments if something is just gob shite. In that case, I’m gonna call it gob shite. Here in America, people from the mid west tend to be extremely passive aggressive and they’ll stab you in the back while looking concerned. I’ll have none of that. Nope.
    Well, I’m not a Midwesterner, so there’s that.LoL

    XoXo

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    1. Now this I find interesting, the cultural and demographic effect assertiveness

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    2. Oh, there's culture shock involved all the time. People on the Northeast Coast are more blunt. The South is superciliously polite (bless your heart means basically fuck you). The West is kinda mellow. And the Bible Belt is hell on earth.
      America is several countries in one.
      XOXO

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  3. At the moment, it seems too many folks are blathering on about wearing a mask ... they can come up with the weakest excuses you can imagine! And, when one of them starts in around me, I simply tell them it's all bull shit! It's always the ones who refuse to educate themselves with facts and the truth!
    So much needless ignorance is tiring!!

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    1. Well as a nurse of long standing, I am of the opinion that they will limit the spread of the virus
      Not only they a barrier
      But they serve to remind gobby people like me not to shout or talk powerfully in public
      Known precursors to the spread of the disease
      Sorry Marcia but I disagree with u

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    2. They are a barrier.....

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    3. Marcia it is you who should educate yourself with facts and the truth. Perhaps you're one of those people who think "it will never happen to me" or "I don't know anybody who has it" but the wearing of masks has been proven to help stop the spread of Covid-19.
      We should all do our duty to protect the more vulnerable in our country. My partner is in the vulnerable category and is shielding, at risk of severe illness if he catches the virus and he hasn't been out of the house for 16 weeks. Which means I haven't been out either, it isn't safe when there are irresponsible people like yourself not wearing masks. When there are uneducated people like yourself who refuse to wear a mask then the virus isn't going away. Think of the many grieving families who have lost loved ones, grow up and stop being so childish.

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    4. I read Marcia's comment the other way round, that she was calling out people who refused to wear a mask, coming up with "the weakest excuses" for not wearing one.

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    5. I agree with you, Jean.

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    6. I also read this the other way around. I've seen several news reports of Americans refusing to wear masks, saying that they 'interfere with God's wonderful breathing system', and, as Marcia says, refusing to educate themselves.

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    7. I think Marcia was saying the opposite, John

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    8. Apologies Marcia , I got the wrong end of the stick by your first sentence
      lol apologies xx

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    9. Wow! Sorry I wasn't more clear in my initial statement! I call BS on people who make excuses NOT to wear a mask ... holy crap ... I don't leave my apartment or the building without a mask on.
      The written word can so easily be misconstrued if you can't hear how it is being stated. So all who read me wrong ... I totally understand!
      Always wear your masks!

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  4. I don't recall ever having done so John. In spite of holding down a very responsible position for most of my working life (Head of a Unit and then Senior Mistress in a Comprehensive School) I honestly can't ever remember such a situation arising. I was brought up to keep my own counsel and I have always done so - even on the rare occasions when I wanted to say something.

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    1. I think that is useful for some people
      But the person involved must have the respect of their peers
      Which I suspect you had and have

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  5. Just yesterday. I went to a grocery store and when I returned to my car, someone had pulled in next to me inches from the side of my car. It was an old junker car, you know, many dents and rusty. He didn’t even care enough about his vehicle to close the windows or lock it. I had no choice but to wait for him to return. Being a woman of a certain age, I couldn’t crawl over the console. So I let him know how inconsiderate he was in no uncertain terms. . But he mumbled a vague “sorry” jumped in and drove off. . He didn’t really care. Life in the States these days. Comes from the top down.

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    Replies
    1. Yes and it's then easy for the emotion of the encounter tontwke over which often helps no one

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  6. The last time was in a grocery market, a fellow was wearing his mandatory mask as a chin warmer.

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  7. My professional life had a lot of keeping my mouth shut about it. Shut isn't exactly the right word, come to think of it. I usually tried an icy, dispassionate shredding of my opponent at department meetings, with a soupçon of disdain. That's when I was at my best. I learned the hard way that if I get emotional, I lose. Still, I feel I compromised my values "for the sake of the team" too often. The only regrets I had when I retired is that I didn't speak my mind on those occasions.

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    Replies
    1. Sometimes ( and I learnt this as a manager) you have to pick your battles

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  8. I can't recall ever having called anyone out though I'm sure I must have sometime. I'm your classic conflict- avoider, noting from early experiences that any confrontation I get involved in seems to upset me more than the other person. S'pose that makes me a coward. Oh well. C'est la vie.

    Btw; a year or two back I was described by one blogger as being one of those people who's always looking for a fight. This came as surprising news to me. I almost wish it were true.

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    Replies
    1. Raymondo, this made me gaffaw
      I can't think of someone so NOT looking for a fight lol

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    2. Well, we're agreed on that, JayGee. Thanks - if it's appropriate.

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    3. raybeard, you are the most gentle person I know. IN NO WAY do you seek conflict.

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  9. Years ago at work. A patient had made everyone's job more difficult time after time by not cooperating with simple requests and it was clear she was being deliberately awkward. Instead of pussyfooting around her I told her straight that all these things were to help us to do a better job for her and she could come back when she was prepared to work with us not against us. She said "f***k you, I'll go somewhere else" and stomped out. We all cheered (after she had left the building of course).

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    1. A little victory like that one felt sooo good x

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  10. It was last week. A woman had pulled her mask down below her mouth (masks are required in public in that county) and was advising an elderly employee that he needed to take his mask off and breathe and that no one had the right to force him to wear one. If she'd just been wearing her mask like that I would have avoided her and gone on with my day but I could not tolerate the anti-scientific crap she was spewing and I let her have it. I'm sure it did no good at all but as a nurse, as a person with sense, I could not let her go on with her conspiracy theorist lies. Besides that, the man had no choice if he wanted his job. All employees are required to mask. Period.

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    1. Yes I now say I'm protecting you
      When asking for social distancing x

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    2. Oh, I said that. And she said, "You're wearing that mask to protect YOU, not me." It's become a very political issue here in the states which is even further proof of our swift decline in every marker of civilization.

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  11. I have no story to tell. No intestinal fortitude. However, you have made my day with yours! Thank you sweet John.

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  12. The other day a friend of mine tried to hand me something -- he thought he was doing me a small favor -- and I asked him to please not touch my stuff, due to Coronavirus. He apologized and was very understanding. Still friends.

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    1. Getting upset with you would have been innapropritare

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  13. There were times when I should have called someone out but didn't.

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    1. I think we all have felt like this and regret our silence
      I know I have
      That's one of the reasons I'm quick to say things now

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    2. The other way around also applies, and maybe even more often. How often did you wish you d bitten your tongue?

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  14. A local woman, who is known internationally in a certain circle, posted something mocking another member. I jumped on it and called her out and she dropped out of the group and I haven’t heard from her since. I’ve heard from others what she says about me, but other than pointing out her rude behavior that one time, I’ve never talked smack about her.

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    1. I'm not venturing into blogland here lol

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  15. As I've gotten older I've maybe gotten more confident - I don't know - but I used to get SO annoyed with myself if I didn't speak up when I had the chance - so now I do. When I was still at work 10 of us signed a harassment complaint (out of about 750 staff) against the HR director who was universally hated. She was a batshit crazy malignant narcissist who didn't know her arse from a hole in the ground either. Oh and did I mention she also had diplomatic immunity. So we got pushed from pillar to post with the first head honcho (he was as bad as her actually, although more intelligent), they tried to set us up with an adjudicator who was a friend of batshit, so we fought and fought and people were getting sicker and sicker. Then we started dealing with the top guy's deputy, who was good but really just wanted to make our complaint go away - and I for one wasn't going to let that happen. So we finally ended up having our meeting with the (new) top guy (head of our large international organization in Geneva). He told us that she had been "invited to leave, like, yesterday, but did we have any questions"? And nobody spoke up!!! So I thought sod this, so I asked him point blank if he had actually taken the time to find out why she left the large international organization in Paris, the largest Swiss bank in Zurich and all the other places she had "suddenly" left. He said just the one in Paris and he found out she had been found guilty of "financial misappropriation". So I just said "thank god for that, NOW can you see why we had to fight"? and he winked at me. And he got rid of her. Just by the by, she was subsequently fired from a large international organization in Turin after 18 months, a large recruitment firm in Australia after about 2 years and is probably overdue for a firing from a very large organization in Lyon as we speak!

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    1. I love this story, it sounds like the sort of movie I would love to watch

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  16. Barbara Anne4:19 pm

    Oh, it was my crazy (not in a good way) FIL and the year was 2006 when he was about 80 years old. As the nurse in the family, it was left to me to tell him he could no longer takes baths but would have to shower. His legs were too wobbly at that point for him to safely get into and out of the tub despite the grab bars. He told me he could get in and out of the tub with ease "because I have Betty!" (Betty was my MIL). I looked him square in the face and told him he did NOT have Betty because she was a small woman, he was a big man, and if he fell, he'd squash her, and there were no soft landing places in the bathroom. He WOULD be taking showers from then on! He was astonished that I talked back to him. We were alone in the house when this exchange took place but as soon as MIL got home, FIL went to her and tattled about what I'd said. To his dismay, MIL agreed with me. :)

    Hugs!

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    1. Thank god she backed you up...I hate when the chips are down in a disagreement no one comes to your aid

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  17. A good friend of mine, who is very conservative in politics and values, starting saying something about the “wuhan virus” and I did say, “Let’s not go down that route. Better to call it COVID so as not to give racist people fuel for their hate fodder”. He looked shocked but did not say it again. I was glad as I don’t know
    If I would have been so polite a second time.

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    Replies
    1. " let's not go down that route!"
      A phrase every 1970s mother always used to say

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  18. Anonymous4:49 pm

    Well being a Leo and a proper Cockney, l am what's known as 'mouthy'.
    I have told loads of people off over social distancing etc. just lately and use a loud Cockney London voice to labour the point! Think Kathy Burke, same stable mate.
    Anyway, there we were in Sainsburys having breakfast a while back and some woman, power suit, shoes so high you couldn't walk in, clip board, lap top open sort of thing. There she was laying into 3 blokes about productivity, targets, underperformance blah blah. All this going on in Sainsburys supermarket cafe.
    Spoiling my grub l might add.
    Right, 'aint havin' this l thought.
    'Oi luv, l've paid for a meal here, not to hear you givin' it large to these blokes (who wern't saying a word to her l migh add!) Get yourself a boardroom or a better job but shut yer mouf or sling your hook 'cos l don't want to hear anymore.
    When she closed her open mouth,they all just got up and left the place.
    Some old geezer nodded at me and my husband just shook his head with that, you and your big gob again!
    I won't stand for injustice and do agree l will get myself in trouble one day, but l don't bleedin' care, if it has to be said l won't hold back and l sleep better for it.
    Tess xx

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    Replies
    1. Thinking of Babs Windsor in Eastenders
      " GET OTTA MY PUUUUUBBBBBBBBB!"

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    2. Anonymous5:59 pm

      Haha! and l've been a barmaid in a back street London Boozer! T x

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  19. Not me. I only squeak when squeezed. Always been a pushover for bullies.

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  20. Just yesterday. I was walking across the parking lot heading towards the grocery store and two young women (both smoking cigarettes) tossed their lit fags away...very close to me. I stopped, pulled down my mask and ordered them to go pick them up and dispose of them in the container provided near the entry. By god, they did so. My husband says someday I'll probably get beat the hell up by some thug. But I don't care, when I see stuff like that I must speak up. Besides, I'm older and have more insurance. X

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    Replies
    1. Terry wogan ( a famous radio presenter on the BBC) used to have a catch phrase " COURAGE CAMILLE!!!!!,"

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  21. good for you
    I think if more people did more pointing out society would be better off

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  22. I've been bullied a lot and have always run away and hid like a mouse,then I realised I had to speak out and told the local police whom I had varied response and a while ago I had reason to report further harassment which the local pc said"what do you want me to do about it?" I replied"you're a policeman!"and flabbergasted I ended the call-soon after he phoned back and apologised x

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  23. I once had a delivery person talk trash to me about a fellow co-worker of his. delivery person used the word "faggot" and said a few other nasty things about the co-worker.

    after he left, I called the delivery company district manager and told him what his employee had just said in my office and that I did not appreciate that kind of talk and that I wanted a different driver assigned to my route.

    the following week, the moron apologized to me and said he was "being reassigned" and that a new delivery person would be doing the route. the new person turned out to be the co-worker the moron had disparaged. mike (the co-worker) and I have become friends outside the office environment. the moron has since left the delivery company entirely.

    CALL OUT THE H8!

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  24. Like Sixpence Nonethewiser, i tend to be blunt and tell the truth. Even if it's not what people want to hear, but the situation warrants they hear it.

    One such meeting was years ago, when I was heading out to a school board meeting that was likely going to be contentious. Before i left the house, Himself said to me, 'I love you. Don't get arrested.'

    Boy, if that isn't a vote of confidence. LOL

    I did not get arrested. I did have my say. It was not popular, made many uncomfortable, but by the end of my soapbox speech, the majority of heads were nodding in agreement.

    Sometimes you have to say your piece, florid face notwithstanding; indeed, it often bespeaks earnestness.

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    1. I have friends who just cry when wanting to say their piece. It infuriates them

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    2. Yes that was me as a young woman, my emotions would get the better of me, But....as soon as I had my first baby the Tiger emerged. No more afraid of the dark, no more afraid to voice my opinion or stick up for myself or others...life changing.

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  25. I've rarely been one to let things pass. But, in recent years I've noticed I'm more confident and more calm when I speak up.

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    1. Calmness is the key .if you are calm you think your replies through in an orderly fashion

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  26. There are degrees of calling someone out. I've challenged people in small ways -- like the woman bumping the back of my legs with her shopping cart (which I mentioned in my post today). But I can't remember the last time I had to confront someone over a major issue. Which is probably a good thing.

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  27. A couple of years ago I witnessed two boys beating up another boy and throwing his belongings into the road. They were leaving the secondary school across the road from where I live.
    I shouted at the boys telling them they should be ashamed and made them pick up the other boys stuff from the road. They called me a selection of unflattering names but did it anyway.
    I'm glad I saved the boy from a beating.

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    Replies
    1. Yes teenage boys are much more threatening than ever they used to be
      That's brave
      But also an example how a woman can deal with a situation more safely than a man

      Delete
  28. I hate confrontation so avoid it like the plague ! .... BUT, on the odd occasions that I have stood up for myself, everyone is shocked and ask if we are OK .... it really works when you say your piece ! I must do it more often . I know a 94 year old woman who says she doesn’t give a stuff what anyone thinks of her anymore and speaks her mind when it’s necessary. I think we get stronger as we get older.
    How’s Winnie today ? XXXX

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    1. I think we all hate confrontations , the secret is to knowing how to handle yourself through the fear and social conditioning

      Winnie is better today . Has been seen by the vet
      We all agree that we wonr escalate any treatment next time shes I'll

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    2. Barbara Anne8:57 pm

      What good news that Winnie is better today!

      It is sad, but true for every living being, that there comes a time when enough is enough and it's time to go. Heartbreaking as that will be in this case, Winnie will never ever be forgotten by you or by many of your friends all over the planet.

      Hugs!

      Delete
  29. What bothers me more are the things and the times that I didn’t speak up.

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    Replies
    1. I think this is another fundamental issue on the subject
      Sometimes not speaking up can haunt u

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  30. I told a idiot last year to control his dog"put your dog on a lead" which he said "no"-I replied"you must have your dog under control at all times"-"it is" he said,I then replied"it's against the law not to have your dog under control"-The previous day his big black dog ran out of nowhere and attacked my thatch on his lead"arsefeatures said"she's a bit funny when she's on heat"-arsehole!x

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  31. I won't go into petty details, but last week I stood up and spoke out against my ex husband's self centered demands. Surprisingly he backed down--he is not used to me NOT being a doormat.

    And during this virus pandemic I have had to learn to politely refuse to allow people, often unmasked, not to pet my dog when we're out walking. I use a 6 foot leash which brings them closer than I like, plus I'd rather they not touch him. [he is a pug who never met a stranger, adores attention etc.]
    I do not pick fights though with strangers who offend, that can be dangerous, ya never know....

    lizzy

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  32. I hear you on this one lizzy and know the feeling of positivism when you say your piece

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  33. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  34. I once reduced an estate agent to tears, he was being a chauvinistic arsehole.

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    1. Anonymous9:32 pm

      This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous, he was the bully, I merely have him his own back.

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    3. anony-bullies are angry that you very dare to answer back and Then they twist and turn to try to look the victim themselves

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  35. I'm usually one to avoid confrontation at all costs because even watching someone else involved in confrontation makes me feel sick inside. Many years ago I spoke to (no raising of voices) another teacher about something he did which was unprofessional and against our "rules" and hopefully he never made the mistake again.
    There are only two circumstances where I wish I had the nerve to tear into someone but the backlash (professionally) could have been detrimental, so I did not. Now one of those people is no longer in power, so maybe some day... -Jenn

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  36. I won't go into the surprising details but my then to be x I didn't know what he had planed...told such lies before he walked out one morning about me. At a party several of his friends were there (I didn't know them) one of them ask if I was his wife ? They were shocked. We were in a group talking a laughing, He said that I was not at all like what he said I was.
    I just looked at him and said well you have to know the source. Just said it like it happened every day.
    Sometime speaking quiet is the best way.
    Be safe and well.

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  37. My headteacher called a whole staff meeting in school last month despite her own risk assessment document stating that we should NOT be in school for meetings, only for things that cannot be done at home. I called her out on it and it was hastily rearranged on Teams. Age is definitely an advantage as is being the teachers union rep!! ;-) Happy to be called gobby if it's the right thing to do

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  38. A high school classmate on FB, I told him to stop being an ass, He as asking for opinions, then arguing with the answers.

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  39. Anonymous10:31 pm

    Hi hun, I was on a bus returning from work in the middle of winter. Two young boys got on and gave the bus driver there fare. The driver argued that the boys should pay an adult fare they looked so young about 11 years old. They told the driver the money was correct for where they wanted to go. He refused and said they should get off his bus.not easy to anger I felt protective of these young lads on a dark and cold winters night. I stood up, realising I didn't have a lot of cash in my purse as it was near to payday and said * how much do you need lads?*. Everyone looked at them I walked towards the driver, purse open. He murmured get on taking there money. The two young lads were so thankful and so pleasant.i hope it stayed with them to speak up when it is needed. *hugs* goldensunflower x

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  40. The harder thing is to listen when someone calls you out, and perhaps accept that they may have a point. I have been there, and they did have.

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    1. Absolutely , the hardest thing to accept
      The fact YOU could be wrong

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  41. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  42. Yesterday called out two strapping young idiots who were talking and yelling loudly with their masks down around their chins and not social distancing. Masks are mandatory here indoors and on public transit - I'm barely 5'2", grey haired and walk with a cane. They looked stunned - apologized and pulled their masks up. Then they slunk out another exit.
    I am tired of idiots - of all ages mind you - who can't seem to follow a clearly marked directional arrow or wear a mask over their mouth & nose! It's not a chin strap people!!

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  43. My older sister is a bully and always has been. When I was younger she was in charge of babysitting me and my younger brother. I think I was 8 and he was 4. My sister's idea of babysitting was to lock us two out of the house all day in the heat of an Arizona summer. I can't tell you how bad that was with temps in the 100's. We drank our water out of the hose and she would throw us a peanut butter sandwich for lunch. Fast forward 52 years later at a Thanksgiving gathering with all the family. She talked about what a great sister she had been to us,how well she took care of us etc etc. Well that was it for me. I stood up and went on a rant that ripped her a new asshole. We haven't spoken since. :)

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  44. I don't like confrontation so I don't say near as much as I should

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    1. My DILs mother died of Huntington's and my DIL was in a university lecture where the lecturer said it was unethical for a Huntington's carrier to have children, then admitted they shouldn't be making a judgement like that in a lecture but said it was such a rare disease it wouldn't matter.

      I made a complaint to the uni about that

      Delete
  45. I epitomise gobby, but you already knew this

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  46. When teaching at a well known Prep' School (8-14) The music teacher announced one day that all pop music was rubbish. We had a small argument about this, and I ended up telling him that he couldn't know much about music! Others in the staff room were horrified that anyone could have said that, but they all knew it was true. This man had had works played on Radio 3, and was regarded as some sort of maestro. Eventually I half-heartedly apologised to him, but said that if I'd pronounced that all modern painting was rubbish, I would have expected exactly the same rebuke.

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  47. Anonymous11:24 am

    Pre-lock down, we were out having a meal and I went onto the premises garden for a cigarette. The premises backed onto a beautiful green cemetary with a river running through which was empty apart from a man with two children sitting on a wall. I saw him look around and walk towards a beautiful oak tree that is hundreds of years old and start to urinate up it. I shouted out very loudly 'DISGUSTING!'. He hadn't noticed me and after nearly jumping out of his skin, he ran back to the wall, collected his shopping and children and left!

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    Replies
    1. Reminds me of some of the older ladies, volunteers in samaritains whowould directly challengesex callersby stating. Very loudly ARE YOU MARPSTURBATING

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    2. Anonymous1:49 pm

      Lol!! Made me laugh! Yes, I'm rapidly turning into an older lady! It's more a put down than a call out but still think your 'cheap shoes' comment is the best! :):)

      Delete
  48. Having worked in The Nhs for the majority of my working life. I have met many a bully, management and otherwise.
    I have replied/complained about conditions and problems at work.
    I have seen staff bullied beyond comprehension. Which is when it all came to a head. Then they started on me. It went right through to a tribunal. Which no one really won.
    I was lucky not to have gone over the edge, to be honest. Afterwards management tip toed around me, until I retired.
    I don't really hear of any changes even now

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  49. In my work, I used to travel around the US ensuring social service agencies we provided funds to were in compliance--serving clients appropriately. At one such meeting, I had to deliver some stiff recommendations for improvement in front of the staff and did so in a professional manner indicating several ways they could improve services. Their executive director, however, started screaming at the staff, berating them in front of me (never appropriate)--finally telling them she would kill them. The look on staff faces indicated they believed she was quite capable of it. After a shocked moment, I quietly and calmly told her that death was not required to meet compliance and gave her a look that indicated she'd stepped over the line. She finally backed off. Was happy to hear that a few months after my report, she was "relieved of her duties".

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  50. I've spoken up more than once personally and professionally sometimes to no avail, sometimes to my detriment and sometimes for a good outcome. A co-worker's words compel me to speak up - The problem in this organization is when they put shite in front of you and tell you it's not shite. Like I don't know shite!

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    1. The " system" often patriarchal and closed is often the stumbling block of many whistleblowers
      This recent pandemic has seen its fair share

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  51. When trading in our car we had worked with a very pleasant sales man and come to an agreement after in the office we told the manager how lucky he was to have the salesman work there, while going through the paperwork he found a line that had not been ticked and went on about how he was going to have to reprimand the saleman, I reminded him that without the kind service from the salesman he would not be here at the moment counting the money and without that he would be out of a job, I also told him it was inapropriate to talk about the staff that way in front of a customer. I don't usually find my voice but I will always intervene if I don't think a dog is being treated well.

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  52. My 19 year old colleague broke the news to me - mid busiest day of the year in our workplace mind you - that our manager had sexually harassed her. It is a lucky thing for him that he was not at work that day. I was so furious, I would have yelled at him where there were people.

    She did not want to make an official report being new to the workplace, but I had a duty of care so I did report it on her behalf. I did make it very clear to her that it would happen again to someone else if she did not make an official report.

    Because there was no official report no official action could be taken but I made it very clear to the business owner what was going to happen next - we would take our orders directly from him in future and that person was to stay the F**k away from both of us.

    By the next day I had calmed down sufficiently to simply pull him aside and say - don't you ever go near her again, and don't you EVER say a word to me that isn't work related. Not a hello, not a goodbye, I do not want to hear anything like that from you. I know what you did to a vulnerable 19 year old girl and you disgust me.

    Every day when I saw his smirking face I wanted to punch it. I could not keep working there, it made me too angry. So I got out. And just a couple of months later, the new 19 year old girl that replaced me reported him officially for sexual harassment. Of course he did it again.

    Of course he did, because he got away with it before and he thought he'd get away with it again. Situations like that are when we **have** to stand up and speak up. :(

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  53. An example of doing the right thing
    We can all learn from

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  54. That is now my favourite saying 'she brought the problem to the table and I picked up the plate'! It perfectly sums me up. I won't go looking for trouble but if someone brings it to me......

    I'm often presented with moments of deciding to stand up or walk away, too many to recount here. Hugs to you.xx

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