Who IS James?

The nice thing about blogging in the public view is sometimes you receive some lovely gifts.
I count my huge box of international postcards in that category, all of which I am going to use as a "Wall of all nations" very soon, even though a close friend thought the whole exercise was all a bit creepy.
"Thousands of people know your address" he commented, shivering
"Just like the Queen!" I responded gayly

Today I got home after a set of night shifts to some post and an unexpected gift.
The post I could do without as It was a somewhat prudent bill for George's Euthanasia and cremation
(I would have buried him but the ground here has been too saturated to dig)

The gift, however, was quite lovely.
Balanced by the front door was a bunch of sunflowers and a homemade scotch egg wrapped in grease proof paper. An accompanying note, which was saturated into mush by the rain said simply
"I hope you enjoy...James"
I don't know any James'
I know a Jim (Jimbo) and a Jerry and that's about it!
No James' comes to mind at all

I asked a neighbour but they hadn't spotted any gorgeous Russell Crowe lookalike looking furtive amongst my honeysuckle last night but they shook their heads
"Perhaps James is an alias?" one of them ventured

The plot thickened.
and so did my fantasy

Perhaps I am doing James a disservice by imagining him as a floppy haired, beefy hunk-of spunk with a loyal black Labrador and a sense of self depreciating humour which would put Jo Brand to shame.
whatever the reality I want to thank him and others like Wendy and Alun, Naomi and Especially Brian for their kindnesses recently.
A kind thought goes a long way

and so could James to be sure
especially if he looks like Russell Crowe

It's Only Me!

"It's only me!"
How many times have we heard these few words on the other end of the phone or on our smart answerphones?
I wonder if is a typically English statement?
One that starts a conversation with almost an apology
Its only me...sorry for bothering you!
I use this greeting all of the time, as many of the people I know do.
It's only me ! Do you mind a chat?

But it's NOT only you...….is it?
It your investment in time and friendship and care
It's a positive and a kind word.
It's contact
It's important.

So next time you leave a message or call out a greeting
say
"It's Me!"
Don't say "It's ONLY me!"

Ta Muchly

Been busy today,
Just going to bed now as I am working the next couple of nights
Thank you all for your best wishes

"What's All This fuss about?"

George, Meg and William 

George died this morning
It was peaceful and calm and he was looking at me as if to say " what's all this stupid fuss about?" 

He had become very ill very quickly, it was something in his abdomen - a massive inflammatory reaction and what felt like a mass
The young vet was relieved when I agreed it was time for him to go.
I kissed George one too many times on the head and he moved away in typical Scotty style.
No fuss. No messing
Scotties hate it all.
It bothers them.

I asked if I could inject the anaesthetic so he could see me and the vet allowed me to although she still held the syringe and as he felt the oddness of the medication react, George let out a very faint " aroo!" 
Scotties aroo a great deal when puzzled.
A good AROO! can burst an eardrum

Always, last in the pecking order
Always last in the car
Always last on a walk
He never demanded a thing

I couldn't face going home after the vets, and so I went to Mostyn Gallery in Llandudno to look at the art......over coffee I recalled one single memory of this self contained little dog which was his obvious and oh so contagious joy at bedtimes when he alone was singled out from the others  and chased up the stairs by his Prof and master to bed.

Healing

We sang our lungs out at choir tonight.
We are giving a mini concert at the village Hall next Tuesday and went through our repertoire
1940's moustached RAF Pilot Jamie was almost in tears in surprised shock
We did so well.

The choir sang a late happy birthday to me and a tenor and Alto
They congratulated me on my new job....in song
Hattie had spilled the beans

Oh , I didn't say did I?
I have a new job! .......I found out at tea time!!!!

My whole nursing career  has been centred around people dealing with catastrophic change
I have worked with devastating mental illness', paralysis after spinal cord injury and multi organ failure on intensive care and so it seemed quite natural for me to be drawn to work in a hospice.
Last Wednesday I had an interview for a full time post at St David's Hospice in Llandudno.
Today I was accepted.
I cried when I received the home call.
Good luck has been a long time coming.

I can't tell you just how I feel tonight.
But I can share just how much my brittle self esteem has started to repair itself at last.
For too long I have felt somewhat discarded and ashamed, bruised and just sad.
Now I feel some control has been returned to me

I stood in the centre of the choir as they sang to me tonight
And I felt............happy

Waiting

I had an interview for a new job last week.
I interviewed well.
I am now Waiting to hear if I've got the job and it has been a trial .
I now, won't know until next week , perhaps longer.

There is a lot riding on this new job.
Amongst other things my self esteem will take a considerable boost if I do get it..
I need that lift

Affable despot Jason sent his good wishes with this photo today
It's perky optimism is contagious

One Way Or T'other

I will be back tomorrow...

The video has nothing to do with things
But it's an enjoyable classic
I've just given a lecture to the Trelawnyd Women's Institute
I knew most of the ladies there
We had cake and tea and shared local history stories
I handed over my history blog to the village history group

😞

Day Off

Going Gently is taking a couple of days off

Not much to say......xx

Grayson Perry's Cottage?

Summer Storm

I am watching a storm unleash itself over the village.
It's a cracker
The estate agent is late to complete his paperwork  and I have just battled with a load of Samaritans admin which is a necessary chore as we have seven new volunteers starting soon
The thunder woke up Winnie from her slumbers and you can see she's slightly worried.
Mary has been banished to the car.
I cant unleash her paws on the estate agent's powder blue suit
I can see her looking over the garden back at the cottage. George and Albert are in the car with her for company.
I hope the estate agent comes soon
I am going to see the new Godzilla film
he wouldn't understand

Rotterdam

Alice (Bethan Cullinane) and Fiona ( Lucy Jane Parkinson) are lesbian lovers living in Rotterdam
Alice wants to come out to her parents. Fiona is secretly feeling that she was born a male
As Alice's former boyfriend ( and Fiona's brother ) look on the couple's relationship begins to change under the strain

This sounds complicated and the play ROTTERDAM  performed at Theatr Clwyd tonight is indeed intricate, witty and at times an incredibly moving exploration of a very complex issue.

The small audience were at their feet at the curtain call
I loved it

What Goes Around

Last year the old Flower Show Committee met for the last time in order to divide up monies to the village good causes. It was a bitter sweet meeting for sure but with me leaving the village, it was deemed time for the entire committee to resign with me, a change I was very moved by.

Now,  with the New Community Association going from strength to strength, a new Flower Show Committee has resurrected our old format and the show will go on this August!

How wonderful is that

Looking through the schedule I was rather moved to see that I have had a trophy named after me!

Thank you , it was a lovely surprise!

I'm typing this on my phone
another day
another early morning vet visit!
what goes around!

Memories

Sometimes ( and certainly not often) Facebook delivers an interestingly little game to be played

This one came to me from a colleague from ITU which I answered

Somewhat intrigued and full of Its all about ME!!!

I posted the same question

And the answers, well really surprised me!

Peoples' memory of friendships suddenly seem so wonderfully fickle and odd.

Something that you had forgotten ( I didn't remember putting my mother's false teeth in Roland Robert's tea cup) was something they first recall about you when asked

How weird and how wonderful.

I have no recollection of the budgie incident, nor the cream cracker eating contest or the eating of fat rascals in the snow...and so the messages received have a certain poignancy to them

I was once washing a lady's face who was dying. 

This was when I was a student nurse working at the Royal Hallamshire Hospital in Sheffield

Her large extended family had left her exhausted but happy and I was preparing her for the next wave of visitors to arrive

Out of nowhere I asked how she would like to be remembered

And she smiled 

" fondly" she whispered " fondly" 

I Can only apologise for the under[pant thing

I have to say that my poor shoes were the subject of much ridicule on ITU

well the lesbian with the screwdriver conjures up some thoughts

I may have to explain Dale Card's message

as he was a patient on spinal injuries and I helped him (chemically)

Once A Diva

The Estate Agent photographer turned up at 4pm
It will be the only sunny day this week he explained, sunshine necessary to show off the cottage views and garden to their best advantage
I had spent the previous 6 hours gardening!
When he was doing his thing inside the cottage, Me and Mary waited on the garden wall.
After ten minutes he sounded somewhat exasperated as he poked his head through the bathroom window
" Can you remove this bulldog!?" he called. "She's photo bombing every one of my photos!!!"

Make Over

Today will be a lifestyle kind of blog.
No politics, no fighting, no Trump, no Brexit
Yesterday I prepared the cottage interior for its photoshoot
No diva could have received a better makeover
I cleaned for 7 hours solid
I started by cutting the roses from the garden
I shall miss my roses when I go
I planted the above pink ice cream old English rose in 2006 and its never let me down

The living room now smells of lemon and not of bulldog farts ( I know you can't smell a photo but it makes for an ambiance !!)

I finished cleaning after dusk...the carpets shampooed...the soot stains wiped from the woodwork

Even my bedroom had the floorboards waxed and the best linen washed

Albert oversaw the sparebedroom 

The kitchen sparkling

Exactly One Year Ago:- a blog entry

All the neighbour's lights have come on .

Walked bulldog in bare feet for last walk of the night. Stepped on frog

Frog screamed

I screamed even louder

Bulldog then swallowed frog

I then screamed again

Off to lie down in a darkened room

Le temps des cathédrales

A pilgrim stopped at the cottage this morning. He was walking the North Wales Pilgrim's way
http://www.pilgrims-way-north-wales.org/index.html and was chatting to Winnie who had been resting heavily by the front gate, with her head on the iron struts.
He was an old man with a Father Christmas beard and a floppy hat who laughed a tinkling laugh when George woofed at him from his hiding place amongst the Welsh poppies.
I went out and we talked a while . He wanted to know the cottage's history and complemented me on the state of the garden then asked why there was a bunch of flowers on the kitchen wall.
I told him I had no idea and popped back to see a bunch of stocks balanced there
" It's a late Birthday gift" I informed the pilgrim
" Oh that's good ," he mused  "I thought for a minute someone had had an accident here" 

Yesterday, when I was out, the kitchen wall took on another flavour
A cake box with a homemade Bakewell tart inside, was sat next to scotch egg wrapped in foil .
Nearby a neatly wrapped book and a slice of coffee cake sat next to a set of scented candles
I had thirty cards to open too.
It's a thing I do
Counting Birthday cards.
Thank you to everyone who wished me well yesterday. I may not have been the life and soul of any party but I was grateful for the best wishes

I offered the pilgrim a cup of tea which he chose to drink over the garden wall.
He refused a slice of cake.
And I guess he sensed that I wanted to get on as the cottage needs spring cleaning in order to be officially photographed next week, and so he collected his sticks and said goodbye
" God be with you!" He trilled and he tapped Winnie on the nose through the bars of the gate
"And to you sweetie" 
She blew a kiss at him as he left

It was only then when I realised what music I had been playing on Spotify as I tidied up
les Temps des Cathedrales blasted out from the open cottage windows
The Age Of The Cathedrals from Notre-Dame De Paris

20 Quid Well Spent

My eyes are a bit tired this morning I am off to bed very soon , but thank you all for your birthday greetings, phone messages, cards ,gifts and T shirts! they are all much appreciated

As I was leaving work this morning a booming Hungarian voice sang out
Tank You Tank You Mr Gray, your sausage bloody lovely!"
It was Rita, one of the care workers, and she was slapping her big hands in excitement
My sausage had obviously made her day,
Just as I hoped it would
I must admit now that My sausage was in fact not MY sausage at all, but a mere imposter brought in to save my bacon and to bring a smile on the face of a homesick Hungarian who just loves pig meat
Its not a complicated story.

Now Rita misses her small village in the Hungarian countryside. she misses her family, her family farm and her rural home cured bacon, and so when one day she learned that I used to keep pigs she homed in like an Exocet missile
"You ave pigs?" she asked me excitedly one evening before going off duty "YOU kill your pigs?"
I told her that I used to keep pigs and I had them slaughtered for meat
"I love pig meat! Rita shared, her lips all of a quiver " At home I eat pig meat everyday EV-ER-LY DAY!"
"That's nice!"I replied feeling a bit queasy
But Rita wouldn't let it alone and the sudden prospect of getting her hands on a homemade sausage  filled her with excitement that I found rather moving
"I NOW buy from you pig meat!" she announced with that Eastern European directness and because she looked so excited I just didn't have the heart to say that we had eaten all of my pigs' meat years ago now
I promised to bring her some sausage in as a gift
Rita clapped her hands like a big toddler
Yesterday I did just that.....ok I pretended that it was my home grown sausage where it was a local bespoke butcher's finest organic Welsh brand, and OK it cost me 20 quid on the nose
but the look on Rita's face when she said "Sausage Bloody lovely!"  WAS WORTH IT!

looking Forward

The cottage will be on the market very soon

I'll put on a link as soon as the official brochures are out

Perhaps one of you will think of buying it!

Mary can't look backwards

Forward is the only way!

Birthday

This thoughtful early birthday gift arrived yesterday