Hips Don’t Lie

I forgot it was bank holiday today, not that this mattered at all
Bank holidays seem to mean nothing nowadays, they are just like any other day
I spent the morning booking things to do in Sheffield later in the week. Restaurants and pubs need booking as did a breakfast meeting with a friend and the hotel ( a very plush one for next to nothing)
The only down side is that my friend Jane and I can’t go to the city salsa bar to dance
I’ve been practicing 
One day, just once, I would like to be as natural as these two 


Happy

I have just noticed this post on Facebook
It was about my gift of Little Women ( see previous post) .
I was extremely moved
 Hey ho

Little Women and The Bookcase


The Amazon delivery man thought the bookcase looked more a baby blue rather than a duck egg green and was suitably impressed with my morning’s handiwork.
I flirted with him, but he didn’t seem to mind
Winnie in a fit of sudden excitement rallied from her slumbers in the sunny flower bed underneath the  buddleia and blew him some moo moo kisses
The delivery man blew some back,
He didn’t seem in a rush
He had delivered a copy of Louisa May Alcott’s Little Women, which I have subsequently wrapped up and delivered onto the Junior Miss Randa .
Affable Despot Jason, had let slip that she had always wanted to read it
and no girl of nearly eleven should be without the stories of Jo March.

The weather is lovely today but with the promise of Autumn in the air.
I got up early ( despite having a few gins at my sister’s home last night when we caught up over dinner) and I have cracked on with the bookcase .
Animal helper Pat, Pippa et al , and a chap from Rhodfa Arthur all commented upon the bookcase with words like “Bright “ ,” sensational “ and a more guarded “ Interesting”

I’m not sure of the colour but the finished result doesn’t suck the lifeblood from the light of the living room.

Weekend Challenge


Having a gentle yellow living room means that one piece of the decor is sucking the light and lifeblood from the rest of the room
The utilitarian 1940s bookcase, I’ve decided just has to go or get a revamp
And I’m going to try to give it a revamp
So today I’m going to wash out the polish with vinegar and sand the whole thing down.
Then I’m going to paint the outside a gentle green to match the cupboards in the living room
The inside I am going to paint the same summer yellow as the walls
Wish me luck

Hygge


Hygge.......definition

“ Hygge is a Danish and Norwegian word for a mood of coziness and comfortable conviviality with feelings of wellness and contentment. ”

I needed some hygge tonight
And in the guise of Jason the affable despot’s “Botha” I found it in spadefulls

It was lovely .

I haven’t seen much of Jason and his wife Claire during lockdown but tonight I met them in “The Bothy”
Which is their adapted washouse which has been converted into a mini pub, complete with tv, karaoke, fairly lights , bar, seating and roasting open fire
Think Little Hoise On The Prarie with gin and good company and you will get my gist

A roaring fire and bar stools


I only managed three very large gins before turning for home but it was lovely to meet up again with two dear friends and experience Hygge when it was needed the most 
Hey ho


Down The Bog

Oh Bollocks
I dropped my phone down the toilet yesterday
It had been used
The phone and the toilet that is..
It’s working in a fashion,
That is the phone and not the toilet
The toilet is working perfectly.

Oh I was sooo fucking annoyed
I placed the phone in the bowl of rice as per instructions and stormed off to bed
I didn’t hear the delivery guy knocking at the door so the box was a lovely surprise when I finally surfaced at 2pm in order to walk the dogs.

On the doorstep was this



When I opened it there was this


And when I finally opened this , there were.......
And be still my beating heart 
THESE!!!

As Miriam Margolyes once eloquently said “ I almost creamed in my knickers!” 
What a lovely surprise 
It didn’t come with a signed card, so I have no idea who sent it, so please if you did can you let me know! 
Scotch Eggs From Fortum and Mason
WHAT AN EFFING TREAT!!






Francis

Gawd it wild yesterday.
Storm Francis blew in with such driving horizontal rain that it took an age to get into work
I’m back on nights which is tiring and finish Saturday morning to have 9 glorious days off
As ai came into work I stopped briefly to photograph the back of the Great Orme which was shielding the hospice from the worst of the storm
If you look closely you can see the mountain goats hiding away in the Eastern facing crags


Dots of white against the brown/ green  of the peninsula 

Casualties

Winnie and Mary in the kitchen as I type this 


In the fallout that are divorces, children are often seen as casualties of war.
Hopefully, if everyone plays nicely, the trauma is kept to a minimum but I have friends who have joint custody of their children and I am always amazed of the complicated juggling act that has to be performed to keep heads above water.

When I was separated I was resolved to keep all of my pets.
I had four dogs then, two of them elderly and practically I was in the shit , what with no car, a vet seventeen miles away and expensive medications to pay for.
So I had a choice .
Rehome the animals
Or shut up moaning and get on with things

I continued to moan just a little , but I got on with things .
William died in his sleep one wet Winter’s morning which admittedly made things a little easier though painfully sad and valiant old George died after a thankfully short acute illness.
Dorothy’s arrival was a serendipitous hiccup of madness which complicated home life even more

Full time work provided the biggest challenge to me where the animals were concerned.

The Sexy bearded dog walker has been an expensive but necessary ally in maintaining the status quo but his input has been supported way above the the level expected by Trendy Carol and her hubby who have been total heroes when dog sitting is concerned.
Without them I doubt I could have coped with those long days at work complicated by a commute longer than I was ever used to.

My sister and Hattie from Choir have also pulled their weight, and so those trips to see friends, those nights out in London and In Liverpool and Sheffield have become a thankful reality.

It’s a juggling act but is a necessary as breathing juggling act.

Last night Mary’s irritated ear kept up both awake with its itchiness and yesterday Winnie dropped a small, beautifully rounded constipated stool quite perfectly between the book case and the wall.
Dorothy’s PTSD remains  a daily challenge and only this morning moments after I had triumphantly placed my avocado and eggs on toast on the kitchen table, Albert stuck his head towards the centre of the plate and then sneezed loudly in disgust all over it.

Tying, needy, expensive, emotionally demanding and totally indispensable
I may be a lone parent

But my animals ain’t going anywhere



Guilty Pleasures


No
They are not Theatre Tickets, or dog walker fees, or cinema seats or my obsession with policemen with beards ...all those are essential pleasures
Not guilty ones
No , my main guilty pleasure happens but once a month on average, and lasts an hour tops!
My guilty pleasure is a trip to Aldi for a mooch around the centre ( non food based) aisles
Tonight has brought some amazing treasures
They include

Sculpting clay
A set of bespoke pencils
A bag of pigs ears
A squidgy nightlight in the shape of a fat bear !!!??!!!!!??????
Batteries
Hand gel
A pair of linen shorts
A pair of workman’s dungarees!!!!
2 bottles of white vinegar ( to clean off the polish from a 1940s bookcase)
A mini sander ( to carry on the preparation of the above)
A shiny tin lunch box
Lotion for cracked heels
A small succulent plant
Masking tape
Rainbow paper serviettes

Little treasures all!!!!



Alexa


Went to Liverpool last night to see a friend
Dinner out
Too much gin
Great fun shouting at Alexa when we returned home
No hangover today
But it’s time to doze on the couch

Paranoia


Tonight is my sixth night duty in 8 days
And it’s a night when a paranoid new admission who can physically do some harm if left untreated Was admitted
Patients can be paranoid for a variety of reasons, ranging from hypoxia( lack of oxygen), chemical imbalances, trauma and mental illness
I was hoping for a quiet night
Fat chance
Thankfully dealing with unpredictable patients is what I do well
And after four hours and a very shaky start, things seem to be under control.

The rule of thumb when managing paranoia is that you control the situation before it escalates

I learned this rule many years ago when I worked on a mother and baby psychiatric unit on nights.
The unit was split into two with an enrolled nurse caring for 4 babies in a nursery on one side of an office area whilst the four mothers and 12 general psychiatric patients were nursed in single rooms and small dormitories of two and four beds on the other .The adult patients were my responsibility aided by another staff nurse of similar rank.
Two nurses to oversee 16 acutely ill souls

That night we had a new mother admitted suffering from a suspected post partum psychosis
The patient’s paranoia had been masked somewhat by the Patient’s self medication of alcohol prior to admission but in the middle of the night it started to surface and the patient asked to see her baby in the nursery .
Luckily I refused. Something told me not to give her total access,  so instead I brought the patient in her nightdress to the ward office where she could see her baby sleeping in its cot through an observation window.
Initially the patient seemed satisfied with this but her mood turned on a penny when some bizarre thought took hold and she launched herself at the window in an attempt to break it.
She wanted to kill her baby
As the enrolled nurse desperately  pulled the baby away from the window I grabbed the patient who let rip her paranoid strength on me and immediately I felt as though I was in a fight for my life.
Mental illness has no filters when it comes to such situations and as my fellow staff nurse ran for the emergency bell To gain help...
I was on my own.
In the  two minutes it took for her to return and for runners to appear from each one of our 6 sister wards ( and for a another patient to run down from his room to help me) I was scratched and punched black and blue and was actually bitten twice, both times bizarrely on my shoulder
I had lost at least one clump of hair , had my glasses broken and had been urinated upon during the fight which even more frighteningly had taken place in almost total silence on the floor of an office that looked as though a tornado had hit it.
The patient was expressionless as she attacked me, even when blood from a slash on my ear covered her hands
She was eventually controlled very quickly by the runner nurses and given emergency medication by injection on the floor of the office
I was taken to the staff room to wash up then to A&E for a tetanus
I was just 24 years old
and it was my first fight at work.
After the tetanus I asked the ward sister if I could use the bathroom and she directed me to the nicer staff loo in A&E

Where I locked myself into a cubicle
And cried like a baby


25 Things You Didn’t Know About Me

Nora one of my first pigs

We have been playing a game on nights in between turns and meds and lady of the lamp moments 
It’s called things you didn’t know about me 
  • Some specific nursing skills I have include being able to teach spinally injured men to obtain an erection using injectable medication, caverjet.
  • I leaned to swim at the age of 41
  • I am colourblind
  • I have a deformed right index finger 
  • I once ran Three successful 8 week night schools Teaching people how to look after chickens
  • I almost drowned in a swimming pool in loret del mar
  • I have been to New York 12 times
  • I have owned four pigs in my life and have eaten two
  • I have only visited 11 different countries in my life
  • I have had 3 long term relationships with Men and one with a woman
  • I am a natural baritone but sing in the bass section in choir
  • I have kissed two policemen on the lips who were in uniform
  • I have never been arrested
  • I am dyspraxic 
  • I have been Totally paralysed with fear once in my life and had to be led off the Seattle Space Needle’s observation deck by an elderly Japanese lady tourist 
  • I have been present at the birth of 5 babies and one set of twins 
  • I have been off my head on drugs ( mild) just once in my life
  • When I was a bank clerk I never balanced my till once in 2 years
  • I have written a blog almost everyday Since 2006
  • I once had to hold a totally severed leg in theatre
  • I have owned three houses of my own.
  • I didn’t own a dog until I was 40
  • My mother once saved my life when I almost choked to death on a mint imperial 
  • I broke my collar bone when I did a parachute jump
  • I have no middle name

My first and second chicken course students !

Village News?


Mary, Dorothy and I walked up the Gop yesterday afternoon.
It was humid and showery and we three sat on the summit for a while sweating and panting in the heat.
Mary leaned against me as Welsh terrier do and watched the village
Dorothy just lolled her eyes a bit and watched me.
I have never had such a needy dog.
I stroke her to keep her still and calm

The village is changing as the lockdown changes.
It’s busier in traffic and shopping is almost back to normal so the Street wardens now have little to do and the Velvet Voiced Linda now no longer texts her weekly roll call to the 40 souls who secretly love her words of praise and encouragement .
The pub remains closed and somewhat desolate but the Community association remains stalwart and focused under its firm leadership so I am sure the future of the Memorial Hall will be safe.
It should be.
I hope it will be.

Cameron hasn’t finished photoshopping the group photos he took the other month . He’s been busy at work which is lucky as so many people seem to be worried about their jobs. Trendy Carol is busy too and looks tired when I saw her last....mind you I looked like the wreck of the Hesperus after so many night shifts .....she was just too polite to say so.

I caught Mrs Trellis out, and was surprised to find her uncharacteristically curt.
I had not upset her , I was sure if that so I chalked it up to her having a bad day.
Her bobble hat mirrored her Black mood and looked stiff and tight lipped

Meirion Jones on the other hand was his usual chatty self and it was an age and a mass of plant information later before I could get away for home.
I see that the Royle’s house on London Road has sold and the new people were moving in today...lots of toys in the van.....a family !  which is great news.

As we turned by the church I waved at the young mom and her kiddies from Bron Haul .She had been counting the pebbles in the vicar’s decorated Covid Snake 
Over 80!!!!!” She called and I gave her the thumbs up
The vicar will be pleased.

It feels like a storm is brewing





Nephew



This photo kind of broke my heart just a little
It’s a photo of my nephew
Well it’s actually a photo of my ex husbands nephew but
Him and me have always been in touch since the break up, and so I see him as my own

He sent me the photo yesterday.. a return gift after I sent him a baby photo of him and his uncle,a photo. I found sandwiched away in my bookcase in a tarnished silver frame.

It’s unlikely we shall meet, he lives in Broadstairs down in Kent, but I’m determined to be one of those Uncles who writes and texts and who talks movies in the middle of the night

I will get the photo framed
A slightly gauche teenager
With a Star Wars t shirt .....and a wide grin

Hey ho

Choir


Twenty five members of the choir met in the grounds of our rehearsal hall this evening. Twenty six if you counted Mary , who has attended each one of our Zoom virtual meetings and now has achieved a sort of status of choir mascot.
We all brought drinks and nibbles and the novelty of meeting each other in person was enhanced greatly when Jamie informed us that he had checked the rules and the government had given us the green light to sing outside.....
And sing we did.
It was difficult at first as singing when you are separated from all of your fellow bases etc by swirling air and a six feet gap is incredibly difficult but haltingly and with much self consciousness we sang And after five months apart several of the choristers cried openly at the true and raw power of that moment.

Another mini victory against Covid



Jamie reassuringly had grown his 1940s RAF moustache for the evening  


Choir Day

As you most know Tuesday’s in Trelawnyd signify Choir day
Covid has put pay to a proper choir practice for months and even though perhaps just half of my fellow choristers have managed to soldier on in a zoom format
The resulting efforts have always been somewhat disappointing
This morning my fellow village altos and I got together for coffee and cake . Heulwen  has been shielding since March and has been careful with contact with Hattie and I as we have been working in the front line.
This morning we will meet properly and it will be lovely to catch up in a relaxed way for the very first time( I will post the photos later)

Hattie refers to the three of us as the Trelawnyd Sandwich which is pleasing.
We play a family of sorts, three generations playing pragmatic mother, doting uncle and Dutiful daughter and there is something incredibly freeing having friends that cover such an age gap and differences

Tonight ( and I will post the photographs a bit later) our sandwich meets up with the choir , hopefully in its entirety . Conductor Jamie ( hopefully sporting his 1940s RAF moustache) has arranged for us to meet up outside at the village hall! Welsh government rules mean that we are still unable to sing inside , but we are all hoping that we may be able to join in together , at least once a bit later.

I have missed Choir so very much
I cannot stress just how wonderful it is to produce something that can sound so beautiful almost from nothing .......



Tiktok


I’ve been watching a lot of tiktok videos recently
They are under 20 seconds long, follow silly trends of dance steps, musical clips and slapstick and are pointless fifteen minutes of fame for the millions of mostly young people who enjoy them
They are, I concede very addictive.
The above video is a little clip of music by Lilian Hepler
It is used on Tiktok by people who what to show they understand someone else’s pain.
And the homemade videos when the supportee sings the song to the supported are incredibly moving to watch.
I think it’s the lyrics I know I know I know , that resonate
Quiet acceptance that someone actually understands ...
Take a minute and take a quick look, type in you are good enough 

Just Before Dawn


The band Everything But The Girl captured that awful middle of the night feeling that Things are not well in their gentle song We Walk The Same Line
One verse of the song  resonates with that feeling so well

And I bet you could tell me 
How slowly four follows three
And you're most forlorn
Just before dawn

I have just had a text conversation with a friend who just so happened to be up and I told him that I feel as though everyone else has been invited to a party and I haven’t .
He blamed Facebook 
You never see the mundane on Facebook he said 
I think that’s all you see generally on Facebook .

It’s natural to think that everyone else is doing better than you are, after all, most of us have been conditioned to say that everything’s rosy even when times are shitty and difficult. 
Those that bemoan their lot, to many remain whingers, but modern day sensibilities have thankfully changed just a little so allow for mental illness and psychological pain issues to be seen in a more favourable light.

The truth still remains that everything seems that little bit worse .....just before dawn.....

My friend texted again to remind me my life is centred just about sleep and work and the dying ,just at the moment .....and  I know I’m catching up with him on Saturday in Liverpool for drinks and food and laughs

Balance ......it’s all about balance 
And not letting your imagination run away with itself 

Night Shifts


Winnie woke me up around 1 pm
She was bored and was kicking the cushions from the sofa in a fit of pique
I got out of bed and texted Trendy Carol she agreed that the girls could come around
So Dorothy and Mary went to play and Winnie went to sit in the garden with a pigs ear.
I ate beans on toast and watched the 1943 propaganda movie Above Suspicion with Fred Mac Murray and Joan Crawford 
Night shifts constrict your world
I have a month of night shifts to go

Things

Surrounded by things you like and treasure can be pleasing 
Water bird and hen/


Kitchen ware

Living room pictures and the tuba cushion 

Mantle correspondence

Pottery horse, chameleon and pottery family

Gay loveheart in the window
Sooty champagne glasses

Measuring cups

Garden flowers

Office corner

Hats and scales


Mantle

Chopsticks 

Art Deco potties

Desk