Oh Bollocks
I dropped my phone down the toilet yesterday
It had been used
The phone and the toilet that is..
It’s working in a fashion,
That is the phone and not the toilet
The toilet is working perfectly.
Oh I was sooo fucking annoyed
I placed the phone in the bowl of rice as per instructions and stormed off to bed
I didn’t hear the delivery guy knocking at the door so the box was a lovely surprise when I finally surfaced at 2pm in order to walk the dogs.
On the doorstep was this
When I opened it there was this
And when I finally opened this , there were.......
And be still my beating heart
THESE!!!
I dropped my phone down the toilet yesterday
It had been used
The phone and the toilet that is..
It’s working in a fashion,
That is the phone and not the toilet
The toilet is working perfectly.
Oh I was sooo fucking annoyed
I placed the phone in the bowl of rice as per instructions and stormed off to bed
I didn’t hear the delivery guy knocking at the door so the box was a lovely surprise when I finally surfaced at 2pm in order to walk the dogs.
On the doorstep was this
When I opened it there was this
And be still my beating heart
THESE!!!
As Miriam Margolyes once eloquently said “ I almost creamed in my knickers!”
What a lovely surprise
It didn’t come with a signed card, so I have no idea who sent it, so please if you did can you let me know!
Scotch Eggs From Fortum and Mason
WHAT AN EFFING TREAT!!
Peaks and troughs!
ReplyDeleteI think I would get a new phone and not use the one dropped in the loo.
ReplyDeleteI’m not sure I can afford one 😩
DeleteI'm with anne marie in philly. I could never use that phone again. Bad memory. BUT, out of curiosity, did you flush before you fished it out.
ReplyDeleteDo tell about the phone.
ReplyDeleteNothing to tell, in the bog it went , fished out, semi working and now smelling vaguely of poo
DeleteHow many are already gone? That'll test your self discipline!
ReplyDeleteAll now gone dear heart all gone
DeleteSix Scotch eggs in one evening! Were they Quail Scotch Eggs perhaps. That would be so very F&M? Wonderful thoughtful gift.
DeleteWoo hoo! Somebody knows you very well, John!
ReplyDeleteLol they do indeed
DeleteWhat a lovely surprise for you! The yolks look disgusting!
ReplyDeleteAs they should.
DeleteFrom the depths of hell (toilet/cellphone) to the heights of heaven (scotch eggs from F&M)!
ReplyDeleteI know life in one odd little day
DeleteWhat a well-timed present. I am anxiously awaiting the identity of the clever gifter.
ReplyDeleteIt’s 4.30 am and I have just found out the culprit x
DeleteOh-no, sorry about the phone. But that gift, now that's a gift! Enjoy!
ReplyDeleteI didn't send them. :)
ReplyDeleteNever take your phone in the bathroom. :)
Now she tells me
DeleteThere's nothing to beat a Fortnum's parcel. Not guilty.
ReplyDeleteSomeone appreciates you very much, or admires you very much, or both. That's a fantastic gift. As to the phone, you've likely dealt with much worse in your line of work. I hope it comes back to life for you. -Jenn
ReplyDeleteThe gift giver is my friend john , the guy I met in Sitges last year
DeleteWhat highs and lows in one day. Sorry about the drowned phone and hope the rice and some sanitizer makes it useful again.
ReplyDeleteLovely surprise inside the F&M package and just your very favorite treat, too, John!! Someone knows you pretty well. I wonder who?
Hugs!
Ah, now I see who was the kind gift-giver. Nice!!
DeleteMore hugs!
I’ve had it attached to an electric fan at work all night
DeleteIt seems to be dry and working ok
What good news!
DeleteOh, did anyone tell you not to cook and eat the rice the phone was in?? Just sayin, doncha know!
Hugs!
The wind dropped my phone in a pool once, I took it apart put it in rice and it dried nicely much like you.
ReplyDeleteI hope it works out for you.
Gemma is so right.
I do only hope that the (presumptive) loss of the phone is compensated for by the F & M surprise gift from Anon, though whereas the latter may be classed as most agreeable but transient, the former has cut deep and, understandably, be rather more lasting.
ReplyDeletePerfect timing from who ever sent the gift. And I hope the phone recovers completely.
ReplyDeleteAaaarrrggggh! I hope it is properly dried and recovered now John. I dropped my electronic car key in the loo once, and it never recovered... $600 later.... Now I N E V E R, never never never, put ANYTHING on top of the cistern. Lesson learnt. Expensive lesson.
ReplyDeleteThe scotch eggs look a cut above the ordinary. The ones we got here have completely hard boiled eggs in the middle. And I'll bet the sausage wrap isn't half as tasty either. A lovely treat.
How lovely of your friend John he must be thinking of you like the saying goes the way to a mans heart is through his stomach. Glad that you manage to revive your phone.
ReplyDeleteWhen someone calls who you don’t particularly want to talk to, you can always say... ‘Sorry I can’t hear you very well this phone gives shit reception!’
ReplyDeleteLX
Haha ... brilliant :-)
DeleteAnd they have to be good - Fortnum and Mason's invented the scotch egg in 1738.
ReplyDeleteOooh ... the poshest Scotch Eggs EVER!! Even more so than the Bodnant black pudding ones. He knows the way to your heart that's for sure ... now you just have to tell him about the phone and see what arrives next!!
ReplyDeleteLots of 'Johns' in today's blog...
ReplyDeleteYou can’t get enough of them
DeleteI had a John John and he was Very lovely but strangely as we were sitting in the back of the taxi he Hid on the Floor!I also knew another very nice John and he was gorgeous as you are too John and your friend John also x
DeleteAnd the phone was that close to the loo becaue???? Take a book instead, much safer.
ReplyDeleteWere you photographing something at the moment you dropped your phone in the bog? What might that have been I wonder?
ReplyDeleteYour in good company...I just did the same with my phone. Thank goodness I hadn't done any business yet. Just slipped out when I when to flip the lid.
ReplyDeleteI KNEW they would be scotch eggs!!!! I love that place. I just ordered tea from F&M'S. Should be here friday. I saw scotch eggs when ordering and thought of you.
Oh crap... well I hope it wasn’t crap and just pee. I was so exited to see the package from Fortnum & Mason. Should have know it would be scotch eggs. They just don’t do anything for me, but I’m glad they make you happy, especially after the toilet phone.
ReplyDeletePut your phone in dry oatmeal. It works better than rice.
ReplyDeleteDamn! Many of us have dropped our phones in some sort of liquid! AAAACK!! I dropped mine in horse pee whilst horse sitting! I wonder, if the silica sand that you dry flowers in, would work for phones dropped into water? It certainly works on flowers! Hope I don't need to find out! A lovely surprise after a not-so lovely surprise!
ReplyDeleteThe eggs look heavenly, I have never gotten the yolks right. I have turned my phone on once this week, for a couple of hours. As long as it dries out and works, it will be fine. It will be cleaner when you are done cleaning it, than it was when you dropped it (I have read how nasty they are unless people work at keeping them clean, after all what were you handling around the time you dropped it?)
ReplyDeleteratemypoo dot com
ReplyDeleteHahahaha! Brilliant!
DeleteJo in Auckland
Scotch eggs? Someone loves you :)
ReplyDeleteTo avoid any future incidents, perhaps you should treat yourself to one of those loo roll holders that has a space to put your phone. X
That's unfortunate John. I know of a few people who've done this. If it was switched on it usually means it's kaput/shorted, but if not the rice method can restore it, providing you leave it for a good couple of days to remove any moisture. I trust you wore gloves...Sounds as if there's some function so that's promising. I once dropped a set of patient's false teeth down a sluice as a student nurse. I managed to restore these to the (unaware) patient in time for dinner. Lesson learnt there too!
ReplyDeleteWow -- a fantastic gift! So sorry about the phone, though. Even if it still works, I'd think twice before putting it next to my face!
ReplyDeleteMines had a few close shaves but I was very lucky.Your friend Sitges John has very good taste John as your friend and to send your the bestest of Scotch Eggs x
ReplyDeleteI suppose now all your phone calls and texts will be "dirty"!
ReplyDeleteThe scotch eggs look amazing and it makes me miss going to Britain more than I can say. We have to make our own and the sausage is never quite right. I can't wait to travel outside the U.S. again.
You're worth every penny John!
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the phone. I hope by the time you see this comment your phone is working! I have never done that, but I can see it happening to me...
ReplyDeleteYuck...what a disaster for your poor phone... but I'm sure you've had your hands in worse over the years... hope the phone recovers and loses it's pong. Scotch eggs look amazing. I haven't had one in about 40 years. Must make some at some time. But I just had a pork pie made by a local butchery who's head butcher is English and it tasted exactly like a Melton Mowbray pork pie; and those were my absolute favourite things to eat as a kid so I was very very happy to recreate a memory!
ReplyDeleteJo in Auckland
I'm curious because the egg yolk appears to be liquid. Did you re-heat them or eat them cold. And does that mean it is a soft-boiled egg?
ReplyDeleteYes soft boiled ..which is an art to achieve
DeleteYou twat.
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