Herbivore & Benediction

 

The cafe in Chester’s Storyhouse doubles as a library and a study area. Consequently it is always busy with tables filled with students on their laptops and diners eating Trendy bites.

I found a table only frequented by one academic type at his computer and asked if I could share. He readily agreed and made room for me when I returned with my Americano. 

As I sat down the man pointed to my T-shirt and asked if I was being ironic

I told him that I was but added that most herbivores were big boned.

He laughed and said he wasn’t inferring anything.

The man was slim and smart and was in his forties. He looked Middle Eastern or perhaps Egyptian but had a crisp radio 4 accent.

I looked at my phone and I could feel him looking at me. 

We fell into an easy conversation .

He asked me what I did for a living and mentioned he had done some work in Chester’s Hospice collecting recorded thoughts and reflections from patients. I shared that I had done the same from older residents in Trelawnyd .

We discussed the use of memory boxes in hospice care ( they are boxes of memories some patients like to prepare for their loved ones to reflect upon after their death) and my companion shared that he’d often thought about videoing messages for his children to see after his death .

As I sipped my coffee, he looked at his watch and said he had to go.

“ You have a happy face” he said as he gathered his bag and I laughed in genuine surprise 

“See you again in here” he said before leaving.

And he left me pleased and intrigued

The conversation was as refreshing to me as a very cold beer is to a tired man on a very hot day.

Jack Lowdon

I went to see the rather sad drama Benediction which is the story of the wartime poet Siegfried Sassoon from his invalided exit from the army, his subsequent unhappy relationships with Stephen Tennent and Ivor Novello, through an unhappy  marriage ending with his conversion to Catholicism as an older man .

The narrative, especially the ones of the wartime years, is told in a series of cinematic tableaux where music and poetry, photographs and live action build a picture of a man haunted and angered by the horrors of war but as the story moves towards Sassoon’s search for love the plot becomes a little more traditional.

Jack Lowdon is impressive as the angry and eventual rather lost Sassoon. Mathew Tennyson is heartbreaking in his short but pivotal role as the gentle Wilfred Owen who Sassoon meets in the Scottish “neurological/ psychiatric” hospital and Ben Daniels gives the bleak first half some warmth as his role of Dr Rivers, a gay psychiatrist who sees the world with some welcomed benign pragmatism 

Terence Davies has produced an impressive but overwhelmingly sad film about failure, survivor guilt and sexual shame.

Tender Heart

I didn’t finish choir tonight. 

I was stood next to the village hall’s burning hot radiator and it set me coughing my post covid cough and made me feel quite faint.

We had finished the tricky Tender Heart so I sat outside listening to the singing before coming home. 

I only missed 20 minutes.

Heulwen from the tenors, called in this evening to check if I was ok. 

I had told fellow bass Brian I was taking some air but I’d forgotten he’s deaf in his right ear.

I bought a hydrangea and some bedding plants for Trendy Carol today as a thank you for dog sitting.

Tomorrow I’ve booked a ticket to see Benediction 

CBM measured the patio dimensions and will give me a quote for the new roof.

He liked how I’ve titivated the bathroom

 

The Ladies

 

Lady Eleanor Butler (1739-1829) & Sarah Ponsonby( 1755-1831) are well known in North Wales as the famous Ladies Of Llangollen. Famous just as much today as they were in the 1800s, these two recluse eccentrics moved to Wales from Ireland to set up a home together at Plas Newydd in what was always presumed ( but never really proved) in a lesbian relationship.

Last night I went to see the premier of Celebrated Virgins, a new play by Kati Elgin Salt . From the get go the play informed the audience that it was going to redress history by telling the true story of Eleanor and Sarah from their privileged Irish start to their goldfish bowl existence in the picturesque Welsh town of Llangollen .

I will try not to give much away but the play has two very differently paced halves. The first is set in Ireland and effectively sets up the meeting of these two amazing women where as the second , and lighter half looks at their lives in Wales. 

There is much marching around the stage by the cast , which is a bit distracting , but the love affair between Eleanor ( Victoria John) and Sarah( Heather Agyepong is rather movingly told to be honest but I must admit Emma Pallant steals the show with her duel handed role as Sarah’s adopted mother and as the Ladies’ foul mouthed personal Irish maid who kept the two women afloat financially when she died in service .Her asides to the audience provided the much needed humour of the play. 

It’s such a privilege seeing the opening night of a new play. 

I’ve already twitted my thanks to the actors involved and I hope it does well.

Two old broads with tiny feet

Borders Of White

 Almost overnight the lane outside the cottage has been bordered with wild flowers.

Predominately white at the moment but the red valerian is making a comeback in between the cow parsley and the aubretia which has survived some over zealous grass cutting by the council workmen.

The lane is softened by the white drifts of flowers and May into June is the best time for the garden too with eight types of aquilegia lifting the borders into pastels once again.

I got up early today walked the dogs then naughtily went back to bed at 10 am 

I’m now up and around and feel better for the catch up after working the weekend.

Tonight I’m meeting a friend for some historical lesbian drama at Theatre Clwyd

It’s about the famous Ladies Of Llangollen so I suspect there will be no bodice ripping in sight.

Chairs and Carpets

 

I was late home tonight.

I witnessed a road accident in Colwyn Bay and stopped to help.

The girl was ok in the bashed mini but I had quite a lot of blood on my hands from a laceration on her knuckles 

She told me I looked like her dad as we waited for the police 

She was in shock 

I needed the last of my Christmas gin when I got home.

The bats were out in force in the lane as the dogs returned 

My friend Nigel sent an email about his birthday gift to me 

We have the same birthday 

Under his message was one from a furniture company 

I bought a chair from them  a few months ago and they cheerfully told me that it should be delivered tomorrow

A friend had a similar one and I loved the way it felt when I sat in it 

I’m a sucker for nice chairs 

Just the living room carpet to change,

I’ve toyed with a hardwood floor

But you bloody well  can’t have slippy floors with bulldogs around……

They just can’t fucking corner

Andra Day - Rise Up

I love this song, obviously inspired by Maya Angelou.

An anthem for keeping going.eh?

It’s Saturday night and I’ve just had a delightfully hot long shower after work. 

Covered in dogs I’m now watching the 1971 The French Connection and I’ve forgotten just how good it is .but I need to go to bed soon as I’m up in the morning 

I can’t wait to go part time. Only a month or so to go.

It’s almost dusk and a man is shooting rabbits in the field with a powerful air rifle 

I can’t find Albert in the cottage so I’ve just called over for him to be careful as Albert too is hunting rabbits.

The man didn’t look pleased

I didn’t care.

For Albert limped up out of the grass when he heard my voice .

Mrs Trellis left a phone message worried about the war memorial inside the Church 

My elder sister messaged asking what I wanted for my birthday

I asked for a super king sized lightweight duvet 

Another two friends have messaged me but I’m tired so I promised myself to answer them tomorrow night ….I ate some cold sushi rice with chicken then  drank a gin and tonic on the patio before returning to Gene Hackman 

It’s almost dark 

And the pipistrelle bats are roaring up and down the lane like a Top Gun video with Mary watching them as though she’s sat at Wimbledon 

'Still I Rise' by Maya Angelou

The poem is new to me 

It slaps you hard when heard for the first time does it not ?

The words AND the performance 

It’s Nu’s birthday today, she’s in Turkey 

Off to work

First Kiss

Kitchen table

Coffee.

The bantam cockerel is noisy next door which is strange as it’s 10.30.

I’m planning my cooking for the weekend as I’m working both days

Katsu curry, sushi and mushroom noodles.

Tonight I’m out to dinner for a colleagues leaving do .

The 1970s Italian in Conwy, Alfredo’s 

More coffee, me thinks, then I need to post some birthday cards.

Amongst others it’s Nu’s birthday tomorrow.

My nephew texted me yesterday

The message was simple and to the point.

“ Julie and I had our first kiss today” 

I was touched he had shared the milestone with me and managed a exuberant reply of “ OMG !”

“ Yep “ came the economical and proud response.

I told him to keep on practicing if he liked it 

And he sent me lots of laughing emojis 

😆🤣

Now my first kiss with a girl was a somewhat overblown and unpleasant affair, Her name was Eirian  and the kiss was wet and sloppy and passionless. She had a bosom that acted as though it had a brain of its own and I felt somewhat hemmed in by it and Eirian’s lips as I lay prostrate on her parents couch.

I was sixteen and disappointed 

I was 18 when I was kissed by a man. 

It felt like a one off as it was by the brother of my then girlfriend and although it felt right in so many ways, it totally felt wrong in others. 

It was six years later when I was more grown up when I had my second , proper snog with a man.

Now this too was a strange affair which happened after midnight in the back entrance doorway of Bootham Park Hospital’s psychiatric wing.

He was a policeman with a thick black beard who had stopped for a cuppa at our mother and baby unit

I was showing him out when he unexpectedly pushed me against the door and kissed me.

If there was more to the moment, like the build up of flirting or any furtive blushing , I can’t recall it. 

I always remember him as being tall and cheerful, and full of manly smiles.

I wonder now if he was just a security guard. 

But his kiss was a million miles away from the ones I had experienced before.

And one or two since.

Downton ( Spoilers)

 

 I felt like a Sunday afternoon film today.

Nothing too taxing.

Just something to wash over me .

It had to be Downton Abbey a new Era .

Now watching Downton is a bit like attending a works reunion or a night out with old school mates. 

You are visiting with people that you like but you haven’t really got enough time to talk to.

24 main characters within a two hour storyline? 

Therefore everything plot line is hurried and save for a couple of scenes, most of the pathos and drama is lost.

It must be slightly annoying for some to watch their favourite characters, for instance  Anna, Mr Bates and Danka who just stand around muttering the odd word and I had to smile at Imelda Staunton who popped up in three scenes only to say something like I need a cup of coffee and I’m off to a sleep before exiting stage left.

But it’s very silly and lovely to look at , what with Downton being used as the  backdrop for a cinema shoot as most of the toffs relocate to the south of France to take possession of a villa left to Dowager some seventy years previously.

And in good fairy tale style all the romantic loose ends are tied up with Baxter, Mosely, Mrs Padmore and 

Barrow finding happier endings.

Of course it is Maggie Smith’s swan song as the wisecracking Lady Dowager and rather movingly her final scene with the glorious Penelope Wilton ( her nemesis for all of the tv series ) is sweet and unhurried and incredibly poignant 

Take your tissues

It was sunny in Chester when I left the cinema and it was nice to sit in the sun on Northgate street and listen to a busker playing a Spanish guitar

I fell asleep 

Sewing

 

Gawd it was a busy shift, somewhat fraught and rather stressful 

I’m now drinking a huge gin with a wonderful long slice of cucumber 

Watching Sewing Bee

I’d love to meet the three presenters over dinner

Bucket Of Coffee

 Bucket of coffee.

It’s a bright morning.

Bracing in the lane.

The wind turbine over the valley at Marian Mawr is working again and there is enough breeze to have it turning, albeit slowly. 

The woodpecker is busy.

And early too, as it’s just past six.

I am pink, 

Pink after a hot shower 

And I feel as clean as you only used to feel the Sunday night before school.

Dorothy is sulking,

And has adopted a strange position in the kitchen reading chair

She knows I’m off to work

kór

Post Covid choir lockdown has seen a sudden burst in new male choristers . One younger man with a higher range has been nabbed by the female tenors, all of whom looked suitably chuffed. The other guy sat next to me .

Jamie , still bursting from his yearly obsession with Eurovision , announced loudly that we were going to learn this year’s Icelandic entry IN Icelandic and I heard the new man mutter “ oh bollocks “ under his breath. It was a euphemism for what have I got myself into ?

I think he enjoyed the session.

Anyhow I think we sounded better than the original to be fair . 

I’ve talked before about the power of singing in a choir and  tonight I was reminded of the special camaraderie shared voices generate . 

The good humour and the kindness especially .

The younger man sang rather well, and it was lovely to see many of the choristers going up to him at the end of the class to tell him so.

The face to face kindness and good humour I mentioned have reminded me that some of the negative and indeed nasty blog comments received recently have really been inappropriate and unfortunate………and bad habits of internet life.

And I’m tired of them and it..toxic and sad as the whole experience has become

My Laburnum

 

I’ve spent most of the day cleaning away the dust and mess from ten days of workman. 

Four loads of washing hang drying on the garden walls, my gates and the field gate and the carpets have been shampooed with hot water and hints of lemon juice.

I had smoked salmon for lunch, eaten with long green beans cooked in garlic. 

And had a break in the Churchyard where the blue Alkanet frames the yellow Welsh poppies in an Ukrainian flag display .

Exactly a year yesterday I planted the baby laburnum and when  I visited it today I was happy to see it had flowered well and looked straight and tall and healthy.

Choir Later

Taaaadaaaaaaaa!

The new bathroom is finished,

A few minor tweaks need to be done, what with a new shower head and the like but it’s finally done and dusted and finished.

I know it’s just a tiny bathroom, in a tiny cottage, but having the final room in my home changed  remains a sort of landmark for me. It’s me, finally putting, my stamp on my home, in my way.

The final ghosts of it being a former marital home, chased away a little more.

It also underlines my a certain balance in my financial independence - and just to think only a few years ago, that independence was in question as the cottage was on the market.

And so here it is, all six foot square of it. 

I’ve seen posher

I’ve pooed in posher

But this is all mine

And it’s made me very happy.

Will it, won’t it?

 It’s like the end of Eurovision,

There’s a tension in the air 

Will the bathroom be finished in time? 

Time will only tell.

We’ve had a problem with one of the glass panels,

And I’ve just had to help with the positioning before sealing.

Mrs Trellis popped her head over the kitchen wall to see if things had progressed.

I’ve dropped CBM a curved ball by presenting him with more shelving

It’s humid and we are expecting storms.

Upstairs looks like London during the Blitz

Dusk Sky

 

While I was at work my sister had replanted the back garden with flowering shrubs and plants and flowers. It’s an early and very welcomed birthday gift .

She left instructions for me to water them all in when I got home and so with due diligence I soaked the dry flower beds as the girls ate their dinners and a dog fox barked loudly from down the Felin.

Jo ,a blog reader from Coventry sent me some gifts for the new bathroom which was kind and fun and my nephew Leo sent me a selfie of himself and his new girlfriend grinning wide at the camera…..and feeling suddenly good humoured I found a bottle of Peroni in the fridge and took the girls over to the field to lie down on the damp grass.

Mary and I looked up at the sky

As Dorothy and Albert just mooched about 

I chugged the beer 

And as the fox continued to call 

We watched the clouds until dusk

Back To Work

 With all of the Eurovision hype I had the urge to have some sort of online friend meet up last night.

I wanted to laugh a bit.

It didn’t work out, which I was sort of thankful for as I’m working today and although Eurovision probably didn’t finish until midnight I did dip in briefly 

I watched the stupendously dreadful disaster movie Moonfall instead. 

That was two hours I would never get back .

It left me feeling fed up 

It’s been that sort of covid positive then negative shitty week.

I’ve revisited lockdown with all of those horrid isolated connotations 

I’m sat at the kitchen table with my bucket of coffee.

It’s 5.45 am 

My GP rang me on Friday and asked me to stop my long term antibiotics 

I refused as I’m still waiting review by my urologist but he insisted that he at least change them to a different type. Which he did

Subsequently I have the start of a urine infection this morning 

Eurovision

 

I popped in briefly 

Spain was very good ….very Jay lo, with legs like Cyd Charisse

Ukraine got a massive cheer and will probably win 

Azerbaijan was cute a button with his beard (above)

I loved Greece’s gentle covid ballad had me in tears,

Iceland’s sister act was sweet too.

Sweden was rated but I was bored a bit

Australia was a camp feast

I stayed until Sam Ryder with his big smile came on ….he’s was sooo sweet.

Sam Ryder

Then I went to bed 

Feeling like a wallflower at a Jane Austen ball

Flower Moon

 The present routine continues for another day

Up at 7.45 am walk the dogs briefly then put them in the car with the windows wide open.

Make CBM a coffee and have it ready for him as he walks through the door at 8.20 am

Take dogs for a long walk.

Park in the shade at Sainsbury’s and have breakfast with a large bucket of coffee.

Read the Daily Post from cover to cover 

Drive home and drop the girls off at Trendy Carol’s 

Mull over what to do.

With the bathroom and covid I’ve not planned for much and I’m feeling a bit lost today. 

It’s a glorious day and there’s a food festival in nearby Rhuddlan and a bee festival in pretty Llanasa but I can’t quite get going enough to go. 

I haven’t had a shower since Saturday so I think that has something to do with it.

And so I’ve clambered  over the workman’s tools and have holed up in the office surrounded by towels and toiletries and bathroom shite. 

Here I will catch up with paperwork, emails , banking and bills. 

I’m feeling on edge and unsettled . 

As if I’m waiting for something big to happen.

My online thought for the day tells me I’m upset because of the Flower Moon which is expected tomorrow evening. 

Flower Moon’s,  according to the Algonquin people, bring with them change and a fork in the road for many.

A change for the better…..

Americans In The Village

 The American was the descendent of Thomas Parry, the builder who rebuilt my cottage in the 1860s and the man responsible for the refurbishment of the old Church into its present state. Him and his wife had already photographed the Church and my cottage door over which is a inscription detailing the deed.

Islwyn had already met them in the graveyard and had pointed them in my direction, being the “ unofficial historian of Trelawnyd”

I suddenly remembered that I had a key to the Church.

Now I know that the Church officially closed a while ago, but I thought I’d see if the locks had been changed .

Surprisingly they hadn’t and I showed the American into the Church his ancestor built so long ago

It was much more moving a moment that I expected 

Unfortunately moments later, and out of nowhere the vicar turned up like Batman and gave us a brief lecture on health and safety and insurance and the like. He also told me the locks would be changed shortly.

Of course I apologised , and so did the Americans

And Of course I was in the wrong, 

But I was secretly happy that the great great great grandson of Thomas Parry had stood inside the Church he had built when Trelawnyd was known as Newmarket and when the village population was double its present size.

I emailed the vicar apologising again for entering the church without permission and voiced my concerns that several artefacts inside the church are of historic value and interest to the village and should be kept there. He’s kindly forwarded me onto someone else in the diocese who may be able to help.

I know for a fact  a few interested people in the village will join me as will my contact at the Daily Post 

Hey ho