Showing posts sorted by date for query camilla. Sort by relevance Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by date for query camilla. Sort by relevance Show all posts

2 years ago!!!!!!!!!!!


Winnie and Jo the female geese are giving poor Camilla a bad time at the moment!
But they to were sweet little babies only 2 years ago now!
Here is an old video of the two of them in 2010.
God I love goslings!

Monday's Diary

 In 2006, shortly after we arrived in Trelawnyd, I decided to write an on-line diary chronicling the mundane and the new in our new country based life here in Wales.
Ok some days I will go off on one ( as the meandering rubbish of yesterday will testify to) but generally the purpose of Going Gently is simply that of a daily journal.
So today, I will return to those little daily dramas...those tiny snippets of the every-day, so to speak

Yesterday was Palm Sunday. It was a beautiful spring day, and as usual part of the St Michael's Church  service was held by the ancient 14th Century prayer Cross in the old Graveyard.
I snapped a few photos of the small congregation and remember feeling suddenly  a little melancholy at the thought that in perhaps ten years time, the congregation would have been whittled down to almost nothing



 Today, everything is all very different. The weather is cold, wet and miserable, and the bright greens of yesterday have morphed into the more traditional browns and greys of a damp spring.
The rain has however transformed our tiny back garden from it's winter "nothingness" into a pre flowering  greenery, as great clumps of Aquilegia vulgaris have started to flourish. 
Mother-in-law Sorrel arrives on Thursday, I am hoping that the granny's Bonnet's will be flowering by then.


On the field, not all the animal relationships have remained Walt Disney-esque, and a marked split within the ranks of the geese has resulted in Camilla the Canada goose being ostracised from the flock.
The only reason I can think of that this may happen, is the fact that Camilla may indeed be a "Charles"
and that the resident gander, the benign Russell, has decided that another male is surplus to requirements, but watching the interaction between ALL of the geese, it is noticeable that even Jo and Winnie seem somewhat wary of "Camilla" when "she" approaches.
Last night a somewhat lonely Camilla was housed with the "Crackhead whores" in the hen house next to the goose house
(perhaps the more knowledgeable goose keepers amongst my blog readers could give me a few ideas of what is exactly going on?)

Camilla or could it be Charles?
Yesterday ,several of the neighbours made a point of happily  mentioning that Albert seems to be "back on form" now. The skinny, somewhat elusive cat has obviously endeared himself to the residents of the five houses in our part of the village, and his recent absence from their gardens has been worrying for all of them that enjoy the company of a cat who resembles Sammy Davis Jnr 
It's funny howmany people enjoy vicarious pleasure in someone Elsie's pet.




This morning I snapped this somewhat blurry photo of Albert,wrapped around George and Meg after they all had returned from their morning walk.
It is nice to see Albert back on form............
********************************************************************************

Weight Watchers weigh in 14 stone 5 lbs
No weight loss this week
Must have been all that white wine!!!!
Bugger!!!

Cross Over Friendships

I have always found interaction between animal species fascinating
As a rule it just does not occur as animals have a great ability to be able to ignore each other in everyday life, but just occasionally cross overs do occur and genuine "friendships" and bonding can flourish.


A few years ago Hughie was the only guinea fowl on the field. He was isolated and lonely and over a matter of days alone teamed up with a young cockerel called Rogo, who accepted the "relationship" with what seemed like a mutual affection and need.
Last year Camilla the orphaned Canada Goose teamed up with Badger the baby cockerel, and many moons ago our old cat Joan had a friendly, if not playful relationship with our first Welsh terrier, Finlay.
The exception always proves the rule, 
as with humans, the over riding thing of importance with animals is to have some closeness with another living thing


The Inseparable Hughie and Rogo
Early this morning, after I cooked some chicken in an attempt to tempt the more quiet -than-normal Albert into eating. I cut the meat into small chunks and took them up to the bedroom where Albert was sleeping on the bed, and as I walked into room I noticed William curled up with him, licking the cat's face and eye very, very gently.
It was a sweet little moment of pack solidarity, which kind of underlined to me that Albert is indeed not as well as he could be.
More shit shovelling today...but not as much as yesterday...I'm working tonight!

The 4 Tribes Of Trelawnyd

 My sister in law called around yesterday, I had missed our weekly "coffee and cake" meet up as I had fallen asleep in arm chair, warmed into slumber by a blanket of fluffy Welsh Terriers and tired out by that morning's altercation with a trailer trash hag who ruined my morning by trying to bully free petrol out of a teenage petrol pump attendant.

It is just eight weeks since my brother died, but what with Christmas, New Year and the anniversary of his Birthday all part of those two months, his death seems  almost  an age away now.
It's a weird thought....


Andrew at my 2009 Open Allotment Day
 Jayne watched the field for a while after she parked and after hearing all about the blind Rooster Cogburn she watched the hens milling around the gate and said "Everyone of them has a story to tell"....
she seemed surprised...after all hens are only hens........

Just recently I have realised that the hen population  on the field has evolved into four distinct tribes or factions. Three of the four tribes now have their own cockerel leader where the fourth has an alpha female in charge, and each group have chosen to inhabit their own corner of the field.

The Tribe of the West is the most eclectic of the tribes.Led by the diminutive Eric, it comprises of the remaining crackhead whores,  a bullied arucana and her team mate Phylis Diller (Below) and three shy re homed Wellsummers
 The Tribe of the North comprises of all seven of the oldest hens on the field which have been joined by the three of the crackhead whores who arrived bald and damaged from a year's mistreatment by their over randy cockerel . These hens are all now fully re feathered and healthy birds and all three have just started to lay again, a sign of good condition ,  
I have found it rather amusing that the youngest and most inexperienced cockerel, Badger has taken over as leader in this coop. Some readers may remember that he was the single chick that survived a fatal badger attack on his mother last spring and alone and lonely was luckily teamed up with Camilla the gosling when she arrived.
Badger with Camilla
Badger now!
 The Tribe of the East, is the "front of house" group of hens on the field, for their designated area is the most sociable and most visual to anyone passing by in the lane. Subsequently the hens in this tribe are the most confident and the most pushy, for they are the ones that always benefit from scraps and bread donated by villagers.
Stanley, the old cockerel, interestingly enough has moved hen houses with his trusty white guinea fowl, Angostura in tow, to "take charge" of the Tribe of the East. which comprises of seven re homed orpingtons and a large group of bog standard red hens that arrived last year after being mistreated by their owner.

The last distinct group on the field is the Tribe of the South. This is a rag tag group of geeks, shy saddos and lonely hens.from three coops, who like to hide away from the hustle and bustle of daily life.They always remind me of those kids at school that never played with anyone at break time, you remember the ones?, the kids that read their books on the periphery of the action, wanting to join in but not having the confidence to do so
Their "leader" is Lillian, a white hefty Orpington, who enjoys peace ,quiet and periods of warm sunshine.....it is not a coincidence that their part of the field remains in the sun for the majority of the day
Lilliam.....a gal not to be messed with

 ......yeap Jayne was right...... every hen has a story.......



A "Fickle" update

The Blind Rooster Cogburn and a very cold and wet ...me

Well enough of the shiny and beautiful in the previous post and let's get on with a huge dollop of reality and "not-so-rugged" good looks. Amid the plethora of emailed Quiz entries (4 !) there was an email from U.S. gal, Beatrice Fickle asking me for a factual update on the field and politely requesting me not to be so teenage with (and I quote) 
"bimbo men old enough to be my sons!!"
tee hee.........another email from someone who has a "pen name " with the deliciously camp title of Gloria Abyss stated that they hadn't realised I was so " homosexualist!"
(she/he managed to get all the names right btw)

 Anyhow, the field ( or as it can be now nicknamed- The Somme) remains largely unchanging in it's routine and make up. The winter has taken it's toll on the old and weak (one of the Crackhead Whores, Gloria the old turkey and an ancient old black rock have faded and died ), but most of the population is doing quite well.
The four tame geese, Jo, Winnie, Russell and the Canadian Goose Camilla square off gamely every day with the three interlopers that were dumped here in the autumn. I have provisionally sold the ever aggressive Thomas and his subordinate female to a guy down the Felin and aim to keep the pretty Elizabeth to augment my little flock....the female geese will be starting to lay fairly soon
 
Winnie, Jo and a perky Russell
The field now has four cockerels though with Rooster Cogburn safely in his own run with vinegar tits, there are only three "alpha" males to protect the flocks. Old Stanley who is almost 7 years old remains firmly in charge. His "second-in-command" is a feisty little fart of an unwanted frizzle who I have called Eric .
Not six inches high, and with an attitude the size of an elephant's head, he spends most of his short winter's day streaking back and forth across the field in a desperate attempt to shag anything he can get his tiny little beak on.
For most of the time it is the slow moving giant buffs that he buttonholes and it is almost heartbreaking watching him riding these unconcerned fat ladies without ever being able to "dunk the carrot" so to speak

Little man syndrome .....Eric the ever randy frizzle
Way down in the wettest part of the field, the pigs are enjoying their last few days in Trelawnyd.
I have given them extra rations today ( complete with the recently expired old black rock)  and blissfully unaware of their fate, they have squabbled and bickered over the most tastiest bits and pieces like old pub drinkers on an afternoon binge.

No 12 schleping through the mud

In the cold and rain, I stood and watched both pigs for a while....enjoying their obvious delight in filling their fat, greedy faces....despite the weather, the whole of the field seemed to be in constant and interesting motion. Boris and Bingley the stag turkeys spar together in lazy circles as the hysterical runner ducks totter by desperate to reach their pond before the geese beat them to it.
In the distance Albert is stalking back towards the warmth of the cottage as the guinea fowl scream at him from the top of the Church wall and everywhere else little knots of hens shelter against the weather, their shoulders hunched and bowed against the wind.....
nothing much changes.......

Updated Stories


I am at my brother's house.....everything is silent except for the creepy "pitter patter" of rats in the ceiling space. Poison has been laid but there seems to be one or two hardly little buggers still alive up there........
It's all very Repulsion esque

Anyhow thought I would update you on a few previous story characters...sometimes I do rabbit on about this waif and that stray only never to refer to them again..so I thought I would take the opportunity to "catch up" so to speak....
Mind you perhaps this catch up camouflages the fact that I perhaps have not got anything that interesting to say

1. Beatrice





Remember the "lassie Come Home" story of Beatrice, the Rhode Island Red who suffered a stroke? Her struggle to get back to her coop at dusk even when partially paralysed, could have made even Jeremy Paxman weep, so against my better judgement I kept her, and set her up in a small broody box in view of all the hens on the field.
Well that was a couple of weeks ago, and against all odds Beatrice is still with us.
She still cannot walk properly, but is starting to stand by herself  albeit rather haphazardly and eats like the proverbial pig.
Disabled as she is, I am afraid she will always have to be separated from the other hens who will undoubtedly kill her if she returns.


2 The Dumped Geese (Tom, Elizabeth & Anon)




Bloody hell these three charity cases remain hard work, but after a good bath, some intensive feeding up and some strict behavioural therapy, the geese that were abandoned on the 29th of September have settled down finally onto a noisy but generally harmless family group.
The old gander still rants on a tad, so I have called him Tom . The goose, his mate ( the brown and white) looks an old girl who still retains some pluck so I have called her Elizabeth....the juvenile I have not named as he/she is destined for the pot if I am unable to re-home them


3 Phyllis




Remember Phyllis Diller?
The bald hysterical bantam that had been shagged and bullied almost to death?
Well as you can see, some of her feathers have returned and she is laying now, secure and fairly happy in her run with the laid back-as-a-piece-of-cardboard Jane.
Having said this her nerves still seem somewhat frazzled at times, which, I am sure, a long course of Valium would help with...yeap she still has a face only a mother could love.


4 Camilla


Camilla and the orphaned Badger way back in June



Now a fully grown Canada Goose, Camilla has left her shed mate, (the little orphan cockerel Badger) to finally join in with the field's resident geese in their own house.
She remains a gentle, doe eyed soul, who is not afraid to resort to her gosling day habit of taking corn from my hand, and is perhaps one of the most beautiful animals on the field.
Little Badger is doing very well also. After a little bit of fretting when Camilla finally realised that she was indeed a goose, he has been put in charge of his own hen house with 12 of his own hens to fuss over. Still very much a baby, Badger has not quite got into the habit of "covering" his girls just yet, preferring to spend his day following them around like a teenage saddo, but he is healthy, happy and will I am sure take over the running of the field when old Stanley becomes too old.


So there you have it, four success stories....c/o Jonney's farm.....

Field Watching

It is 13.34pm and I am on field watch .
The guinea fowl have been particularly noisy over the past hour or so, and  so I suspect that there is a fox about some where past the field borders.
The weather is turning more blustery and somewhat violent, and tomorrow we are expecting the last vestiges of hurricane Katia  to arrive.  It is not going to be a day for gardening.


The animals are not used to me being sat up against the church wall with my laptop and they crowd around to see if I have any treats hidden away in my pockets. After a few minutes of waiting most of the hens melt away, leaving Boris and the geese watching me carefully.
Boris, is not after any food, all he is wanting is protection  Bingley the other stag turkey on the field is more dominant and aggressive but will tend to keep away from me when I am around, next to me Boris has a chance to relax and settle......and settle he does, sitting on the grass beside me like a dog.


Winnie and Jo chatter quietly away to themselves and crowd even closer to me as I tap the ground with my fingers .It was a habit I did when they were goslings which I am sure they remember, and they bow their heads low to see what I am doing, their deep blue eyes placid,calm and always curious 
Camilla is a little way behind them, still courting favour and still not quite being accepted by the group. She looks slender and breakable compared to larger geese, who all have keels like the Queen Mary, and remains rather a beautiful and sweet natured bird. All four geese , settle like Boris has done, and make themselves comfortable a couple of feet from where I sit.
The hens, in their ones and twos amble away to sit comfortably in the shelter of the Church wall out of the wind and the guinea fowl glide noisily into the riding stable fields to peck through the small mountains of dung  lying temptingly in the grass.
This afternoon all eight ducks are sleeping in the long grass next door to the pig enclosure, each one with their head tucked tightly against their wings. I suspect they feel safe a stones throw distance from the pigs, who since their arrival have provided a strong arm deterrent to predators whether they be foxes or badgers.


From where I sit I can only see no 12. Even at 200 yards, he is a fine figure of a pig and somewhat charmingly, he always seems to sit on his haunches like a very large pink and brown dog.
Even at this distance he looks rather benign even though he is now over six feet long and has more fat on him than the average sumo wrestler .


As the wind increases even more, the field clears itself of birds completely. I leave the Church wall for a while and pick the last of the raspberries in the allotment with only Boris again for company. I hand  feed him the spare overripe fruit which he gobbles down with some gusto,making the most of this moment of male bonding
Time flies when you indulge yourself in these sort of jobs,
I am back now at the computer and its quarter past three.....
I think it's about to rain

Born Free?

Click the video before reading this blog!


Now I think it is fallacy that animals do not look up into the sky......true they don't generally day dream when cloud watching, but when there is something of interest to note ( a buzzard, a sparrow hawk etc) the field protectors such as the cockerels will look up and growl a warning to the rest of the flock.
William, on occasion has been seen sitting calmly watching a passing low plane with benign interest, and this morning I spied Camilla arching her graceful head up into the air, seemingly fascinated with something far away in the heavens.
I stopped what I was doing and followed her gaze, and there flying in an untidy "V" way out above the Gop was a flock of wild geese.
The breeze carried their cries down over Trelawnyd, and gently Camilla honked back, flapping her wings wide and bowing her head low then upwards again, her eyes never leaving the V as it ebbed and flowed across the clouds


For an awful moment I thought she would try and join them.


But then good, old dependable  Winnie ambled up beside her,
she also bowed and arched her head in acknowledgement of the interlopers, but did so rather half heartedly, and within seconds the two geese relaxed and started to graze the grass again quietly and without fuss.
...and I let out a small sigh of relief

Tantrums of a pig

I feel I have neglected the animals just a little this week.
Brother's house, old friend's reunion, Manchester, Work all day yesterday and work tonight.....it all feels as though I have not been around here....mentally and physically....and that feels a little odd.


Despite some dreadful weather, I decided to spend a little time in the field, and It was lovely to forget the badness of last week, even though I have been soaked to the skin.

Margie .throwing a strop worthy of Violet Elizabeth Bott
My first stop was the pig pen.
The only reason I chose them first was that I could sit inside their shed out of the rain, so after pouring some pig nuts onto the earth I made myself comfortable on the floor of the hut.
BIG MISTAKE!
No 12 and Margie ( the former 21) bounced over like a couple of overgrown puppies and started to stuff their fat faces on the pig food, but as number 12 is now a huge boar and not the timid little piglet we first got to know and love, competition between the pigs was bound to lead to conflict .
Every time Margie tried to take more that number 12 thought she was entitled to, he would knock her out of the way with a sharp nudge of his snout.
After four or five of these rebukes, Margie literally stopped dead squinting her sharp little piggy eyes at number 12  and with murder obviously in mind, she stamped her little trotters like a two year old madam , then proceeded on what can only be described as a mother of all temper tantrums.
Squealing like ( well.... like a pig)...she bounced around the enclosure biting at plants, fencing and her water bucket with a savagery which was just a little frightening and not content with biting at inanimate objects, Margie hurled herself into the shed, stamped her trotters again and took a mouthful of my pants firmly in her mouth and shook me like a dog.
I acted quickly and slapped her hard, which seemed to stop her hysterical tantrum for a second, but then, after looking at me in astonishment for a moment, she let out another scream and ran out into the enclosure for yet another performance......
All the while number 12 remained calm and unruffled.......
We have brought up a monster!
Camilla and Badger are slowly letting nature separate them (although having said this, every night they still share the same house)....Daytimes Camilla follows the bigger girls devotedly, trying to ingratiate herself into their good books. The older geese are not ready to accept her fully, but I have noticed that they are more comfortable in the presence of a prettier and more graceful  companion. By the autumn I hope that the four geese will be sharing the goose house together......
and talking of sharing- the rather knackered Phyllis Diller (centre) and Jane( the araucana) are still comfortable in their own little nunnery, away from the advances of the miniature cockerels and  bullying from the bog standard hybrids.
Phyllis is actually losing more feathers......and has a physique only a mother could love....


Are ANY of my animals normal?
answers on a postcard...please!

Where are you?

Gop Hill (centre) taken from Liverpool Bay.
Trelawnyd lies in the shadow of the Gop which is around 800 feet above sea level
Another day, another e mail question from Mrs Fickle from the American Mid West.
She asks
.............."Now I know you live in the middle of the Welsh Countryside but when I have re read some of your older posts  you very occasionally make references to visiting the beach.....are you close to the Ocean?
can you clarify things for me"
Warm Regards,
Beatrice M. Fickle (Ret)."


Beatrice It does sound confusing I agree as when I post photos of the village, the whole place seems completely landlocked. Trelawnyd is only perhaps a mile and a half South of the sea.  In the satellite photograph below which shows Liverpool bay Trelawnyd is just inland of the centre peninsular
The coastal town of Prestatyn lies between Trelawnyd. There are some lovely beaches there but I tend not to go in the summer months as the beach car park is extortionate and the nearby Pontins holiday camp is filled with a great number of poor people!


Liverpool Bay , which is the body of water which enters into the Irish Sea
ps/ I have just recieved this email from the lovely Maura @ Lilac Lane Cottage

Hi John.....I just read your post with the satellite photo of your area so with coffee in hand I decided to look it up on Google maps. As I was looking I noticed the name of your little village so zoomed in and had a little 'walk' around the streets...isn't Google grand! Anyway...I noticed a church so I continued on ground level past the church lych gate?...and around the corner down the narrow winding road (I see chickens in the churchyard) and lo and behold what do I see on the left.....critter houses...buckets with water...veggie gardens with wire fences protecting them...at least one white chicken...a yellow chicken...what looks like a turkey and what looks like a little black Scottie dog sitting by a little green building and a man with a rake or hoe in one of the little gardens and what looks like a couple of wheel barrows laying on their sides. The road is called Cwm Rd. Well I nearly spilled my coffee I couldn't believe it....this looked like YOUR 'allotment'?! I decided to see if I could find a few pictures on your blog to see if I could recognize some of the buildings and what do you know....in the picture of Winnie and Jo and the magpie ducks I see a cottage...partly stone and partly white stucco in the background and then in one of your newer posts there's the picture of Camilla with badger and I see the metal gate behind them that I saw as I followed the road on Google. In the picture of the Allotment 2009 in your side bar realized this was taken from the upstairs window looking across the road into the allotment with the tent pitched right where the metal gate was. Don't be afraid John ....I'm not a stalker I promise hehehe but I can't tell you how excited I was to come across this on Google. I felt like I was right there walking that narrow winding road and then it all seemed so familiar...the pens and the fences and gardens and critters. Well now I know I'm right.....I just looked back at some of your earlier posts and I came across one that I missed called "Everyone has a film in them" and at the bottom I see the picture of the village and there written on the picture is ''my field'! I guess if I had been reading your blog more regularly lately I would have known for sure this was your field...duh!
Anyway John...I enjoyed my cup of coffee wandering down your little road and admiring your field and cottage. I had it pictured all wrong in my head....I picture the field running behind your cottage and the church running along side you on the other side of a stone fence. Now I know exactly how things line up. How lucky you and Chris are!!!


Anyway...I hope you, Chris and the critters have a wonderful day!

Maura

Don't thank me......thank the Lord!

Badger and Camilla (still together)- I was going to take Delores' advice and photograph them


I didn't have bloggers block!!!..I should have known it. I've just had a case of the anticlimactic blues coupled with a late night watching Susan Sarandon battling breast cancer in the Antarctic (in the tv movie Ice Bound)...

I took several of you kind bloggers advice and planned a gentle head clearing , so, and with Classic FM on the headphones and with gardening clippers in hand, I told myself to stop feeling sorry for myself and "get over it" with a long bout of weed clearing.

As it happened, it was the good folk of Trelawnyd that bucked me up. The Red Faced Welsh Farmer , chuckling with delight at some piece of farming gossip he had heard, stopped his land rover by the gate and bundled a large present of wild mushrooms into my lap without wanting anything in return

The lady from the still house, who had lost her dog recently called around with a kind gift of all of her old pet's food and treats..and as I trundled the dogs out for their walk, Jason, the part time baker, slowed his car, opened his window and called out playfully
"Get blogging soon! if you don't I will have to buy a bloody paper!"
But not surprisingly it was 92 year old Gladys that made me smile the most today
Beaming with pleasure she made a point of letting me know just how much she had enjoyed the Flower show on Saturday . Even though she had helped run the past 38 shows, she chirped that this one had been the best ever!, which was so kind of her.

As I left her house she pressed a dozen neatly wrapped scones into my hand with a smile
"Thank you" I said
"You're welcome" she said laughing gently and as she touched my face with her hand she called out sweetly
"Don't thank me..... Thank The Lord!"

Bloggers' Block?
pah!

A Mixed Bag- Fickle updates/Camilla and farting pigs

The Indian Runners in defensive mode....watching a cat in the long grass

To answer Mrs Fickle's anxious email...YES the hysterical Indian Runner Ducks are still with me!
The field compliment of ducks has plateaued at 8 birds. (5 Indian Runners females, 1 Indian runner cross female, 1 magpie female and Halleh, the bog standard lone drake with sexuality problems .
I need a runner drake to bring back a better blood line within the group and Halleh, who has practically tried to rape every dark coloured hen on the field, will be removed to pastures new.
Most of the ducks are over two years old now and despite their maturity still they retain the rather irritating persona of a group of teenage girls that have been locked inside a ghost train.
Every move you make on the field, whether it be filling up the pond with a bucket or scratching your arse with the blunt end of the garden hoe, the runners will spy your actions, look at each other with slightly anxious expressions then launch themselves into what only could be described as uncontrolled hysterics
"Scream!!!!!!run!!!!!!!!!!! run like the wind"
I love them dearly.....they lay scores of beautiful blue eggs too! but I could slap each and every one of them

Yesterday I decided to rename CJ.
He/she is far too graceful and beautiful to have such a teenage name, so I thought I would ask the first person to stop by the field to suggest a more fitting title!
Around 2pm a woman and her young daughter stopped to ask if I had any chicks for sale. After a brief conversation I asked the daughter ( who looked like Ugly Betty) if she could think of a new name for CJ.
I explained that the young Canada goose needed a name in keeping with her slim, graceful and pretty new image...
The girl didn't hesitate
"Camilla Parker Bowles!" she lisped without hint of irony
And so...children let that be a lesson to you all...... Camilla it is!!!


Camilla with trusty Badger still in tow
I will leave you with a note of caution.....
I was rushing this morning as I needed to get to my brother's house for 9.15am.
As I was galloping down to water the pigs I heard someone walking their dogs just beyond the hedge. They must have heard me as I was puffing and blowing like a steam train at full pelt..... as I got to the pig pen No 12 let out the longest and loudest fart I have heard in many a month, and immediately afterwards I could hear the person that was walking the dogs tut VERY pointedly.
I was too embarrassed to explain to "disgusted of Trelawnyd" that it was not me that broke wind quite so vociferously but the pig, but that's obviously what they thought!
Another nail in my social coffin me thinks

Camilla the actress

. Over the years The Archers' cast has been joined by various famous celebrities, who have popped up in cameo roles in the middle England village . Judi Dench,Ewan Mc Gregor and Terry Wogan, amongst others have chirped up with the odd few words as have Princess Margaret and The Duke Of Westminster, who appeared in the early 1980s in support of the NSPCC.
Last night Camilla the Duchess of Cormwall arrived at Grey Gables (.BBC Camilla story)..she had a "nice chat-et" with the velvet voiced Caroline and waxed lyrically over the too-good-to-be-true Ian, and his shortbread........before popping off to another engagement....but short as it was, her appearance in the 60 year old soap was indeed a bit of a coup for the BBC and I think another small coup for her personally. (Although Camilla, it must be said that you should not give up your "day job"!)
I like Camilla. She is what she is!  a lady of some privilege with a warm personality and a slightly gung ho attitude who doesn't push herself or her thoughts too much down the publics' throat.
She is, in fact a typical upper middle class lady, who could roll her sleeves up with the best of them to help clean the horses out or chop logs or run the local Flower Show......you recognise the sort don't you?.........a lady who may be full of flu that still walks the dogs in the rain cos it "bloody well just needs doing!" 

I look forward to see Queen Camilla in a few years time....with her wellies and headscarf on, driving the 4 x 4 back from Waitrose!
Now I am off to my brother's house. I am going up to help him with his tracheal suction and the like whilst my sister in law gets some jobs done in town....it' will be nice to be useful

Tom Chambers


The Housewives choice ruled all this evening when camp -as- a- row- of- tents Tom Chambers finally won Strictly Come Dancing with professional hoofer Camilla Dallerup draped all over his arm. Chris spent the evening frightening the dogs by yelling at the tv ( he's a fan of the talented but vacant Rachel Stevens) and Aunt Judy ( who had called up for a pre Christmas supper) spent her time yelling for Tom.
Strangely I have been slightly bored by the finalists this year, and have grieved for the personalities such as Jodie Kidd and Cherie Lunghi who were kicked off a couple of weeks ago.......

Where is Raquel Welch when you need her?


Chris is still away, so I have treated myself to a cheap afternoon out at the cinema. Now I have always had a soft spot for a boys own type action adventure film, so two hours in front of a bit of daring do is just what the Doctor ordered, Unfortunately 10,000 B.C. (2008) is the worst film of the year, it truly is! in fact it is the worst film I have seen for many years, and in a strange perverse way, I actually enjoyed some of it, albeit for all the wrong reasons.
The plot has been directly stolen from the bloody Apocalypto (2006) Dreadlock'd Mammoth hunter D'Leh (the pretty Steven Strait) is separated from his tribe and girlfriend Evolet (a Blue eyed and cardboard Camilla Belle) by evil slave traders. He and his small band of helpers battle Sabre tooth tigers,man eating birds and a hoard of,zealous Egyptians to get her back. Yep you can see the holes in the story from space......stampeding mammoths trash the great pyramids, the cave men are all made up of native African Americans along side New Zealand Māoris (with Jamaican Mona Hammond from Eastenders) thrown in for good measure and everyone talks very-very slowly in a sort of mid European heavy accent a pebble's throw from allo,allo.......
Unlike the director's most famous adventure romp (the campy but stunning Independence Day (1996) 10,000 BC lacks any sense of tension and suspense. The editing is invasive even though the cinematography is at times quite stunning, and the whole narrative lacks drive and emotion. In short the whole thing is a disappointing mess, but I must be honest hero Steve Strait has got lovely teeth and looks marvelous in an off the shoulder bearskin.
I could hear myself chuckling when Strait uttered lines such as "A good man draws a circle around himself, and cares for those within: his woman, his children. Other men draw a larger circle and bring within their brothers and sisters. But some men have a great destiny. They must draw around themselves a circle that includes many, many more" and I suspect the film will become a bit of a cult classic with University students all over the world as it does have a clunky campy sort of charm........I think I will get the DVD when it come out