Where is Raquel Welch when you need her?

Chris is still away, so I have treated myself to a cheap afternoon out at the cinema. Now I have always had a soft spot for a boys own type action adventure film, so two hours in front of a bit of daring do is just what the Doctor ordered, Unfortunately 10,000 B.C. (2008) is the worst film of the year, it truly is! in fact it is the worst film I have seen for many years, and in a strange perverse way, I actually enjoyed some of it, albeit for all the wrong reasons.

The plot has been directly stolen from the bloody Apocalypto (2006) Dreadlock'd Mammoth hunter D'Leh (the pretty Steven Strait) is separated from his tribe and girlfriend Evolet (a Blue eyed and cardboard Camilla Belle) by evil slave traders. He and his small band of helpers battle Sabre tooth tigers,man eating birds and a hoard of,zealous Egyptians to get her back. Yep you can see the holes in the story from space......stampeding mammoths trash the great pyramids, the cave men are all made up of native African Americans along side New Zealand Māoris (with Jamaican Mona Hammond from Eastenders) thrown in for good measure and everyone talks very-very slowly in a sort of mid European heavy accent a pebble's throw from allo,allo.......

Unlike the director's most famous adventure romp (the campy but stunning Independence Day (1996) 10,000 BC lacks any sense of tension and suspense. The editing is invasive even though the cinematography is at times quite stunning, and the whole narrative lacks drive and emotion. In short the whole thing is a disappointing mess, but I must be honest hero Steve Strait has got lovely teeth and looks marvelous in an off the shoulder bearskin.

I could hear myself chuckling when Strait uttered lines such as "A good man draws a circle around himself, and cares for those within: his woman, his children. Other men draw a larger circle and bring within their brothers and sisters. But some men have a great destiny. They must draw around themselves a circle that includes many, many more" and I suspect the film will become a bit of a cult classic with University students all over the world as it does have a clunky campy sort of charm........I think I will get the DVD when it come out