Shoulda, coulda woulda

 I should be in Hampton Court Flower Show today and should have been in the West End Of London last night. Unfortunately Ewan my dog sitter had a sudden change of plan and I’ve had to cancel which is a shame, especially as it was Nu , I was meeting up with. 

I’ve compensated by buying a bunch of flowers for myself and by making a fragrant curry with salmon and Phad Thai noodles, which I will box up and eat tonight. I’m doing and extra shift, the proceeds from which will pay for my hotel in August when Janet and I visit London .

It’s sunny ( ish) today and the insects seems to have suddenly emerged from their hiding places, to buzz around the cooking pots and kitchen, snapped at by Roger with his teeth as loud as any Spanish castanets. 
I’ve watered the pots, and hid for a short time as Islwyn , took Janet’s gardening clippings in their industrial sized bag over to the field ‘s bonfire
I never ask him to complete these jobs, he just takes it on himself to sort them out and I’m not ungracious by hiding, I just needed to time my cooking


Father


This medical humour bit at Glastonbury amused me greatly. The nurses and medics here will testify to this, I’m sure. It’s so typically English humour.

I have a friend who has four children by four different women. I thought about him today , as I know he keeps in touch with all of them , going on holidays and visiting and such like .

I’m envious in a way. As I would have loved to have been a father, just the once,…….four seems a bit untidy to me.  

I’m sure is a regret of may gay men ( and straights for that matter) 

In the two decades we were together my ex husband and I never discussed children. We both had work and busy lives but I think I would have made a good dad. I would have learned by the mistakes my parents made, and from the successes my grandparents and sister and brother in law made where kids were involved

The spare room looks like the wreck of the Hesperus, a teenagers bedroom ! and I sigh theatrically , hands on hips in feigned exasperation. Roger thinks it’s him and bows his head in shame, Mary just looks around the door to see where Leo is

The weather is cool and the morning has been filled with admin and phone calls 

I’m going to have lunch at Sainsburys cafe

And feel a tad lonely




 

Back to Normal



 I haven’t  made breakfast this morning .
Today’s final treat is a macDonald’s on the way to Chester. 
I’m dropping Leo off in Chester so he doesn’t have to brace himself against the vagaries of Aviva trains Wales. It makes going home easier for him.
He’s an easy guest.
Last night after dinner he curled up with his ipad, something horrific called Love Island , and covered in dogs enjoyed his last night here.
It’s been a lovely, slightly tiring  weekend, with occasional memories that have  stirred up more melancholy memories of days gone by.
The weekend however was Leo’s and not mine. I hope he will continue to laugh at the animal stories shared over long drives. And the two Welsh terriers that never left him alone for a minute.

The cottage seemed quiet on my return, I walked the dogs and collected Hawkbit from the hedgerows which I put in the little IKEA jug I bought years ago



Last meal


 For Leo’s last night we went to dinner to The Goat in Llandudno. Lovely place, and thanks to sister in law Jayne and sister Janet for coming too. Sister Ann and hubby Tim would have been there but are on holiday

I’m buggered, we’ve not stopped for three days xx

Leo & Mary



 Croissants and ham and cheese for breakfast, and although Roger has spent most of his waking time with Leo, it is old lady Mary that seems to have captured his heart the most this visit. 

It’s rather moving to see.

Today is Leo’s last here and we are going to Chester today for lunch at the market stalls. Later he will be meeting Janet and sister in law Jayne for dinner at the Goat in Llandudno 

New Routine


A vodka cocktail !!!!





 The Bikeriders partially interesting , partially boring
Frankie and Benny’s ( nice hotdog, new to me) 
Rope ( pretentious director fucks it up) 
We ended up tired but laughing and it was nice to answer Leo’s question of  “ Have you liked having me visit” in the affirmative as we drove home .
We’ve just had beer and pizza and Gogglebox 

And he’s gone to bed with Mary galloping up the stairs in front of him , happy at her new routine 



Table Manners

 


It’s a rainy day……after bagels, salami and scrambled eggs we are off to the village Coffee morning ( something that didn’t  faze Leo at all event though he was introduced to affable despot Jason and Claire, Mrs Trellis, Bridget, The Manley’s, velvet voiced Linda and Nick, and a score of others 



Seeing it’s raining we’re off to the cinema again to see his choice of The Bikeriders

Tonight we see Theatre Clwyd’s production of Rope


A Quiet Place Day One

 I had to laugh at the premise of A Quiet Place Day One where hospice resident Sam ( a luminous Lupita Nyong’o ) meets up with a man from Kent (Joseph Quinn) in a suddenly alien infested New York .

I work in a hospice and you’re from Kent I shared with Leo during the second reel 
He wasn’t impressed, lol
But I was impressed with the movie.
Shot for the most part without dialogue , 
The action ( and there’s lots of it) scares the shit out of you but doesn’t dominate a wonderful lead turn by Nyong’o who plays the terminally ill Sam, with intelligence, dignity and with great presence. 


Anyhow it’s been a nice day all told. Leo shared with his friends on Facebook that he’s staying with family in wales which I was moved by. 
He’s in bed now, tired after a travelling day, this time with Mary in tow. 
She followed him up to bed without a murmur