OFFICIAL Somewhere over the Rainbow - Israel "IZ" Kamakawiwoʻole

Heard this on Maura's blog and its kind of stuck with me

Men with hammers and a sweet little kindness

Last night Geoff and daughter Helen came round to help me construct the goose house. It was all very testosterone, what with hammers being hammered and drills being drilled.

We had to build it in the cottage garden so we could use the electric drill so provided a somewhat chavi scene especially when Geoff started to swig some beer out of a can.

As we huffed and puffed with the timber 7 year old Helen amused herself with completing all of the uncompleted jobs on the field including filling all of the water feeders. She seemed to enjoy herself dragging heavy buckets to and fro.......it was lovely having a small slave for an hour or two

As it turned out the completed goose house is robust and rather impressive. Thanks to Chris and to my two sisters who bought it for me for my birthday.
The Small "village" of animal houses on the field now number 18.

So it looks as though it is going to be be another hot day (okok Tex not as hot as the Lone star state but hot enough for a lilly livered Welshman), I have a mountain of weeding to do and an even BIGGER mountain of paperwork to catch up with, Chris is a bit low, he is just about to board a plane to Halifax in Canada before flying on to Quebec, he hates being away from home.

After taking the dogs for their morning walk. I returned to the cottage to find a small carrier bag tied to the front doorknob. In it was a tiny beautifully wrapped homemade cake and a brief hand written note. It was from a lady in the village that I chat to occasionally (you know who you are) ; the note made me fill up....it said simply
"Just heard that you have lost your Maddie,

Chin up

x"

Laburnum lifts the mood

I feel a bit more human today. Chris had some old colleagues over for a visit this morning, so I have been busy being the hostess with the mostess....having said that I was not too busy to notice the stunning laburnum which is in full bloom in the Churchyard. It really does lift the spirits . This afternoon he has left for a weeks conference in Canada, so I am left with just the animals and all of their needs for company.
The temperature has soared up into the 70s, so I do not feel guilty at resting in doors this afternoon and I may have a quick snooze after I write this....after all I was up at 6am making sure the house was clean and tidy for our visitors!
Chris' friends were three senior nurse academics, so when they get together it is all talk about past nursing exploits.....all of the women agreed that nursing had changed way beyond recognition and made me laugh like a drain when they discussed working on a stroke rehabilitation unit in the early 1980s. At 5pm every evening before the patients were fed, the nurses would all get together in the office and all would treat themselves to a martini!!!! I had to giggle, not everything was better in the 1980s me thinks.

This afternoon I painted the tin cockerel on the field gate and touched up the goose house( below) before Geoffrey and I do some heterosexual male bonding and put it all together.

With Maddie dying I feel as though I have neglected the other animals for a while. This morning I still set out four bowls with dog food, but with coops to clean and water butts to fill, I just sighed and got on with things. Keeping busy is so therapeutic. I have made sure that I have put writing to Maddie's vets on hold for a while. Writing a complaint must be done in a measured and non aggressive way; I can't trust myself to be objective just yet

Pirrie got an extra cuddle this afternoon then was treated for lice and mites, and Theresa the female turkey "on loan" got her lice check up and dusting

I have wormed the rapidly growing chicks (below) and all seem a little stir crazy in their small pen. They are still too small at 2 months old to be let out with the old bruiser hybrids and the cockerels as yet but it won't be too long

In a week or so, the eggs beneath Blanche, Kate Winslett and Lilly should be hatching too....then the goose eggs in the incubator may well be piping....I have more than enough to keep me occupied it may seem

Thanks to everyone who left me a supportive comment on the blog over the past few days and to those that sent me emails and cards I send another big thank you.

I have been moved by the kindness of people and I appreciate it.

johnx

Another day, another dollar

I was up early this morning. After the dogs had their dawn walk they all scrambled back to bed for their usual lie in and my birthday was forgotten and life moved forward without Maddie.
Yesterday I was asked several times by people if the dogs would "miss" Maddie.
And after some thought, I realised that the answer is probably "no".
Maddie was third in the dog pack pecking order, and typically of bitches, she would fly briefly if challenged over food or indeed a stick, but her interactions with the other dogs generally was a little distant.
I have already set four bowls of food out on the kitchen worktops, and searched for that final lead before our evening walk, habits that will only be broken with some time. It will be a difficult period for a while, I understand that....we have been through all this before with Finlay, but this time I think Chris has been more deeply affected as Maddie was more "his girl" whereas Finlay was definitely "my boy".
As I look at the untidy knots of fur sleeping contentedly on the duvet, it is crystal clear to me, that dogs will always figure in this household despite the gut wrenching feeling of loss that accompanies their passing.
As I told a distraught Chris yesterday, the joy a dog gives you during its lifetime , in balance , outweighs totally that awful pain you experience when it "leaves"you ..........looking at the scruffy bundles asleep next to me, with tears just about to flow, I am still grateful for all what we have.

hey ho.... the sun is shining and the goose house needs painting before we put it together

Butternut squash and kissing coppers

Chris had already taken today off for my birthday, but neither of us really felt like celebrating the day very much. Bless, he tired to be upbeat with my cards and gifts but his and my heart was not quite in it, so we have spent the day pottering away the hours. He with some sewing repairs and me with planting out butternut squash and some very dirty duck house cleaning (Why are ducks so bloody dirty?)
We also took a cake and presents down to my sister ( remember I am a twin!) to celebrate her birthday but again our hearts were not quite in it, even though we tried to sound upbeat.

Chris did buy me a card that HE KNEW would bring a smile to my face, given the fact I am slightly obsessed with tv police shows. Below is Banksy's infamous "kissing coppers"....somewhere on his travels Chris had found a card with a copy of the stencil on it.....he knows me so well!

Tonight we will do nothing much...perhaps a couple of movies on dvd and a takeaway.

Thank you to everyone who has left a comment and has e mailed me.......believe me, I have found all the things said incredibly sweet and supportive

x.

A curve Ball

. Maddie, Meg and William

Maddie died suddenly this afternoon.
The vet said that she had been looking brighter and more comfortable all day and thought it had been a sudden cardiac event. I couldn't really speak to her on the phone but managed to tell her that I would pick her up immediately.
The sing song nurse was on duty, which was kind of unfortunate and I didn't trust myself to talk to her or to the vet, and picked Maddie up and left the surgery in silence.

We buried her on the field, and steve, the local gravedigger kindly and without any undue fuss came over and helped me dig her grave properly.

We shall miss our old girl..... Loyal and eager to please , she always lagged behind the others in everything she did, but had the spirit and a personality as big as a lion.
Below is a blog from last year: I think it remains a fitting tribute

http://disasterfilm.blogspot.com/2009/09/maddieevening-stroll-and-new-plans.html

I'm the mother

I came home from work, had an hour and a half's sleep covered in three dogs then got up bleary eyed to face the rest of the day.
When I asked Chris if he had contacted the vets regarding Maddie, he replied,
"You're the mother, that's your job!"
In his way, he is correct.
I do assume the more motherly role between the two of us. When Chris or any of the animals is sick, it is me that does the caring, me that wipes the fevered brow and me that cleans up the piles of poo (or in Maddie's case no piles of poo)
The mother role, of course, is a little more complicated than just completing nursing duties with a little warmth and empathy (humm Chris seldom gets any empathy from me). I always think that it also encompasses those little thoughtful touches that makes home a little more , well, like home.
So I guess, it is those nurturing flourishes that make the difference.
The flowers in the vase in the kitchen; the cat being well fed and wormed and asleep on the spare bed, the old kilner jars on the sideboard being cleaned and filled with pulses,grains and flour and the garden borders all neat and well kept next to the cut lawn.
My own mother was not a warm motherly influence in our lives, she was too brittle and a little too bitter to be able to fulfil that kind of role. it was my grandmother who, I am sure provided us all with the ideal role model when it came to mothering.

Anyhow I must have got it from someone...as today, I slipped back into "being mom" and rang the vets to check up of old Maddie.

I caught Zoe, the senior vet partner when I rang, who gave me a brusque yet pragmatic outline of what was happening.
Maddie had passed a very small amount of poo, was still on the drip and and needed to stay at the surgery for at least another two days or so. According to the vet, she has a very narrow pelvic opening which doesn't help with colonic transit time and agreed with me ( and Nigel) that the recent hot spell might of pushed her into mild dehydration which complicated the issue.
The nurses were walking her regularly and letting her rest outside to encourage her to squat, they had realised that the old girl is fastidiously clean and would refuse to open her bowels in her kennel.
so it is another couple of days wait, and a couple of days worry......

update 2

Just about the start the final slog (dog walking, filling water feeders, feeding the troops and broody intensive care- ie each of the broody hens, Kate Winslet, Blanche and Lilly must be lifted off their nests, sprinkled with water to wake them up then fed and watered before, muttering loudly to themselves, they stalk back to their eggs)
Maddie still has not had a proper bowel result, but apparently is much brighter in herself. The vet has added liquid paraffin to her meals as well as continuing with her other laxatives.
She remains on an iv drip and will be reviewed tomorrow at 9am.
My obsession with her bowels continues.

Maddie update

The pre Birthday meal last night was a good idea because it diverted us from worrying about Maddie. I have just contacted the vets and spoke to an brusque, efficient and crisp vet nurse who informed me that Maddie had received two enemas yesterday with a smallish result. Today she will be having another enema but already does look a little brighter in herself ( she has eaten! a first meal since last Wednesday)
I suspect if the enemas do not work alongside the aperients, drip and exercise then surgery may be indicated, but I so hope not.
Thank god the "sing song" nurse was not on duty today, I could have bust her one after she informed me yesterday that Maddie ( who she referred to as HE) was really enjoying the company of several other sick dogs in the surgery holding room.
I have had run ins with this nurse before and cannot abide her platitudes.
Rather unkindly I told her " well that will be a first, she cannot stand other dogs!"

Having a sick animal to worry about is a dreadful experience and is one that only pet owners can understand fully. In the great scheme of things some would view Maddie's plight as unimportant but there is something quite overwhelming when a dog becomes ill.
Dogs show their emotions graphically when they are unwell, they become depressed easily and you can see the changes so clearly when they look at you with those big brown eyes.

Maddie has pulled on the emotions because of her blind loyalty and constant need to please and obey, there is something rather valiant about her which makes this health scare even more emotional for us. Kipling was so right when he wrote his poem The Power of the Dog......dog lovers always give their hearts to a dog to tear.

Thank you for asking about how she is doing..I will update the blog before I go to work this evening

hello?

I have only just realised that my cousin Carol looks like Lisa Minelli in SEX AND THE CITY2

LIVE well, LAUGH often LOVE much

From Left to right: My Brother Andrew, Sister in law Jayne, William with Brother in law Ned, Elder Sister Ann, Brother in law Tim and my twin sister Janet.

They all came around to celebrate our birthday......Chris organised a Chinese takeaway. the dogs ran amok...........it was a nice night
Thanks to Andrew and Jayne. for the saying.....it was printed on a kitchen hanger.......and we all got a copy..........I guess we all appreciate the meaning of it
x

Another trip to the vets

I wasn't happy with Maddie this morning.
No bowel movement and not eating.
So I rang the vets for another appointment, got one for 10.20 am and finally got in to see the vet at 11.20.
I asked her to review the xray which was taken on Thursday and she told me she didn't have to as she had reviewed the xray that afternoon and knew that Maddie was impacted with faeces along her entire colon.
I was a little taken back and showed it as when I specifically asked the nurse two days ago , if Maddie was "impacted" I was answered with an emphatic no, she was "just constipated". I questioned the use of one aperient then and was reassured that everything was on course, and as I explained today, if I was told that Maddie was so seriously constipated I would never have taken her home when I did.
Anyhow I was in no mood for apologies or detailed explanations, all I wanted to know what was our plan right now.
After examining Maddie , the vet put her on a drip and planned to sedate her to administer a high colonic enema. Surgery has not been ruled out and I signed the consent form in case some sort of "debulking" was indicated.
I feel I have lost my confidence with the practice, especially with the problems and misdiagnosis we had with Albert a year ago, and aim to register the dogs and cat with another practice once all this is over. Hey Ho
The family are all coming over later to celebrate mine and Janet's birthday which is on Tuesday.

ps Thanks to Kim over at Golden Pines for her email and sound advice!

Poo watch

When you know a pregnant woman, all that you see will be pregnant women everywhere you look. When you buy a new car...every other car on the road will be the very one that you have just bought.and when you are waiting for an old Scottish terrier to open her bowels...every poo you see will belong to every other animal BUT her.
Bless..the old girl has been dosed up with aperients and at least has been drinking ok....but as yet...there is not a poo to be seen.

The goose house arrived this morning, without any instructions I must say ! But it looks robust and solid to house even the most buxom of ganders. It is one of the nicest birthday pressies Chris has bought me since he bought me Finlay

This afternoon I have planted out the sweetcorn and pumpkin bed. They do look rather weedy at the moment don't they?

A Mother's obsession and a great Canadian film

Of course I have been worrying about Maddie throughout the day, but after being sedated for her xray the old girl seems to have rallied somewhat!
The xray showed that she is constipated to the hilt, but nothing else sinister could be seen, so the vet gave me a large bottle of lactulose. a 5 ml syringe and a hope that bowels would be moved very soon!
So medicine has been administered, and stool watch has started! Thank you everyone for asking just how the grumpy old Scottie has been doing. At the moment, she is curled up next to me on the couch, and still looks rather sorry for herself

Anyhow, I have just realised that I have effectively been turned into my mother!
Towards the end of her life my mother owned a somewhat bemused West Highland Terrier called Hamish. He put up with her irratic behaviour, chain smoking and temper tantrums and sometimes was led a bit of dog's life.
She never walked him...she never could be bothered...she just had one of those extra long extending lead things which she attached him to from the comfort of her front door. She would then reel him out down the drive and along the road so he could perform on the grass verges before pulling him back to the house as though she was landing a salmon!
Given the fact that she never physically walked him, my mother was strangely obsessed with the state of Hamish's bowels and would discuss them with all comers constantly, unfortunately it was always in the greatest of detail....not good in a nice social situation......today I have found myself worrying about Maddie's stools with a similar intensity.....no results as yet to report...but I am living in the hope of a steaming dollop very soon!!!!

Tonight I went to Theatre Clwyd to see a very intriguing and interesting Canadian film by Egon Egoyan. Adoration, is a complicated, multi layered study of a teenager's grief for his parents and his need to understand where he came from, yet themes of racism, fear of terrorism, and family demons complicate this affecting and thoughtful drama.
The film's premise is innovative.
A boy (Devon Bostick) with a troubled past is "encouraged " by his French teacher to secretly make up a story that his father was a terrorist that tried to blow up his wife and 400 passengers on board a transatlantic airliner. As the school and Internet get hold of his story, the whole fantasy suddenly becomes terribly real to all involved and specially complicates the lives of the teacher (Arsinée Khanjian) and the boy's guardian and uncle ( a nice performance by Scott Speedman), who had been drifting aimlessly along in his life

This is a clever movie,but it is not an easy ride as you need to concentrate on every theme and clue to actually work out what is going on ( the last scene finally gives you a clue after an hour and a half)

I gave it an 8.5 out of 10........It was great to see a cracking Canadian Movie for a change...

ps when I got home no bowel results to report!!!!

hey ho

Maddie

Maddie has not been well for the last 24 hours. Yesterday afternoon she had been straining at stool for ages ( she IS prone to be constipated) and by teatime looked listless and unwell. I booked a vets appointment for her for this morning ( I am waiting to go. hence writing this blog) but wasn't happy with her behaviour so I called the on call vet to discuss her symptoms.
Typically I had a "chat" with the young Polish vet..who is efficient but oh so difficult to communicate with on the far end of a telephone!
The conversation included a rather surreal moment when she asked me about Maddie's diet 24 hours before the symptoms had presented. When I told her all the dogs had been given a large ham bone to gnaw on,, the vet kept shouting " BONE! you give her A BONE????"
"A CHOP? VAT DO YOU MEAN? A BONE?
by they end of it all I felt that I had personally dripped poison down the old girls neck!
Anyhow she told me to give Maddie some water with oil in it, which I had already done and to bring her to the vets in the morning.
I am worried.Maddie has never been ill in her life and although I am a pragmatic health care professional myself I can't help thinking that there is something else wrong here than just constipation.
On a lighter note, one of my neighbours gave me some advice last night when I told her of Maddie's condition
"Just shove a soapy finger up her bum a few times" she called out cheerfully
"worked wonders with all of my children"!!!

Painful

Now I love embarrassing stories

This one actually happened way back in 1991 when I was celebrating the multicultural social events organised in Sheffield when the World Student Games were held in the city.

I went with a friend to the Crucible Theatre which was hosting a free night of folk music and dance (in the foyer!)...as usual I was dressed down for the event (t shirt and ripped jeans! - remember the fact I had ripped jeans on)
but as the whole event was very relaxed I kind of blended in!
Anyhow I remember sitting on the steps of the bar looking down at the singers and crowds below..and one guy, who was sitting at a table with some friends caught my eye!
I looked at him.....he looked at me! and suddenly I thought "my lucks in!!!"
Anyhow this game of glances carried on for a while ( I remember the guy looked a little like a bearded Jake Gyllenhall) and I did that half smile and hair toss flirting thing! before I caught sight of him downing his pint then weave his way through the tables to walk to where I was sat up on the stairs!
He leaned over slowly so I could smell his after shave and whispered gently into my ear
"Hey mate...I wanted to tell you that you have a rip in your jeans and one of your b*lls is sticking out!"...he suddenly left and went to sit down again!!
What happened to me?..........well I died on the spot
Now please....can I have some embarrassing stories from the lot of you

Pecking order blues

I bought four large ham bones today and furnished the dogs with them as I got on with planting out artichokes, Chinese cabbage and the last of the broccoli.
Meg, William and Maddie got on with the job in hand whereas George had a less than fortunate time with his bone and one particularly assertive amber rock.
The pecking order between hens is a well known phenomenon, but between hens and dogs I doubt there has been much research done.......By some innate ability the hens all seem to know that George is a non assertive, bullied individual who can be taken advantage of, and if he turns up on the field with food they press their advantage quite mercilessly.

This afternoon over an hour period they harried and intimidated poor George in an effort to steal his bone, so much so that I finally had to put him and his bone in the back of the Berlingo where he could chew in peace.
One white amber rock , who had pecked the gristle from George's bone in several concerted "attacks" made the drastic mistake of approaching look-a-like Maddie as she was sucking out the marrow from her prize . The hen was flattened instantly and within a split second, got swiftly de feathered for her trouble


The back garden arch that my brother-in-law made for us has finally taken on the typical cottage "look" that I had originally planned for . The clematis and honeysuckle have now joined together quite nicely.

My gardening bible is Carol Klein's "Grow your own veg" and this well thumbed copy is kept in the shed. Those are artichokes which I "bartered" from a guy in the village for a dozen eggs

Kate Winslet is still sitting on her clutch of eggs in the prefab hen house. (above). Her nest is now secure from the crow threat BUT this week I have decided to construct a scarecrow to maintain egg safety! The problem is, what shall I dress it in? All the crap clothes that I own...I actually wear.
The weather has been quite beautiful again...if not a little too hot. The pond already is drying up just a little,,,, and it's only May!!!

life

saw this on the great http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/

It reminds me of the Urban Legend of a middle aged couple being overheard in a post restaurant

"No George it's not the peas...it's the last 20 years!!"

Monsoon - Ever so lonely 1982

I loved this single from way back in 1982!!

funny I found myself singing it today...now where did that come from?..Why camels? why the Sarhara? she's obviously asian! hey ho

...a good Idea....

One of the girls from work told me that B&Q had some cheap chicken wire for sale, so after another busy night I put off home chores and went hunting for it in the local superstore!
Now I don't DO shopping......to me it is a necessary evil that has to be endured rather than enjoyed (with the only exception of browsing in a book shop that is).
I go into a shop or store like an assassin! I hurry in, get the object of my desire and leave...bish, bash bosh...it's as simple as that.
This morning it took me approximately 30 seconds to locate the fencing "department", a further 10 seconds to pick my role of chicken wire and another 15 seconds to weave my merry way to the tills..............a record breaking 55 seconds in all! ...result!......
Mind you I had not banked on the fact that I had to negotiate the small cluster of four "self service" checkouts each one occupied by a somewhat hesitant older person.
The seconds ticked on.....
I was aghast to see that one old guy was trying to scan two 7 foot curtain poles without using the hand held scanner. The poor old duffer looked a little like a ninja wielding a fighting stick as he tried manfully to hear the "beep".The other guy next to him couldn't quite figure out which way to put his credit card into the machine whilst a woman opposite had dropped two trays of trailing lobelia onto the weighing mechanism.
The last man had a huge trolley laden down with the contents of what looked like the Chelsea Flower Show....so wasn't going anywhere fast...and to add insult to injury the checkout supervisor seemed overly busy chatting to her mate by the special offer counter!
The seconds turned into minutes!
I pointed out to the man with the curtain pole where the hand scanner was, but having grappled it, he could quite locate the bar code on the pole itself!
The man with the credit card had the thing declined setting off a large red beacon on the top of the checkout and the woman was apologising loudly for the delay as she got on her hands and knees to pick up her damaged seedlings....

I could have screamed!
As the supervisor dragged her carcass over to see to the duff credit card, the final guy seemed to be scanning one plant pot at a time v-e-r-y--v-e-r-y- s-l-o-w-l-y and I just about stopped the urge I had to batter all four of them to death with my roll of cheap fencing.

No sleep, a busy shift and four cretins at B&Q to deal with!..........and all before 9am!
My tolerance was way WAY too low for this kind of shit!
Finally...( and after some very British huffing and puffing) I flounced past the woman who had finally sorted out her dropped greenery and scanned my wire professionally and with a flourish! Smiling in a somewhat superior manner to the four old gits, my fingers whirled over the touch screen instructions as I slammed my debit card into the slot....
I should have known better...in front of them all, I had entered the wrong pin number!!!.

I should have had a sleep when I got home, but as the weather was perking up again, I got on with jobs including carpet shampooing (too much doggy smells to bare), kitchen cleaning (below) and dog walking.......big mistake.....I collected all the eggs and was so tired that I left the lot in a bucket on the field......all were taken by crows!!!.

I am such an old fart!