I was up early this morning. After the dogs had their dawn walk they all scrambled back to bed for their usual lie in and my birthday was forgotten and life moved forward without Maddie.Yesterday I was asked several times by people if the dogs would "miss" Maddie.
And after some thought, I realised that the answer is probably "no".
Maddie was third in the dog pack pecking order, and typically of bitches, she would fly briefly if challenged over food or indeed a stick, but her interactions with the other dogs generally was a little distant.
I have already set four bowls of food out on the kitchen worktops, and searched for that final lead before our evening walk, habits that will only be broken with some time. It will be a difficult period for a while, I understand that....we have been through all this before with Finlay, but this time I think Chris has been more deeply affected as Maddie was more "his girl" whereas Finlay was definitely "my boy".
As I look at the untidy knots of fur sleeping contentedly on the duvet, it is crystal clear to me, that dogs will always figure in this household despite the gut wrenching feeling of loss that accompanies their passing.
As I told a distraught Chris yesterday, the joy a dog gives you during its lifetime , in balance , outweighs totally that awful pain you experience when it "leaves"you ..........looking at the scruffy bundles asleep next to me, with tears just about to flow, I am still grateful for all what we have.
hey ho.... the sun is shining and the goose house needs painting before we put it together
I'm sorry you lost your Maddie. Looks like she was quite a special pup -- then again, aren't they all? Dogs do give us so much. I don't know how we could ever truly give back, but in their eyes walks, treats and cuddles seem to be everything and more.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday... I hope the loss soon becomes easier to bear. Your dogs are so cute.
Thanks for letting me know about Maddie. I know how much your pooches mean to you. Hang in there and please have a Happy B-day anywhooo. (I've been a slacker as far as blog hopping lately.)
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Oh John so sorry to read this - I never imagined it would end this way.
ReplyDeleteDillon missed Sam's bowl to lick & seemd a bit confused to get the bed all to himself. Hubby has said " Goodnight boys " a few times & called Dillon Sam.
Thinking of you.
And, after a while, you realize that the pain is fading, and the good memories are coming to the forefront. What you say is so true, the good that they bring so outweighs the sadness when they leave before us.
ReplyDeleteThe pain of loss is part of life, so we might as well accept it, and move forward.
The pain does ease over time, but it does take time and you both need to give yourselves that time.
ReplyDeleteA belated Happy Birthday to you.
Gill in Canada
My first thought when we lost Java was that I was going to sell my Scotties and never have another dog because I couldn't stand the gut-wrenching pain of loosing one. But in about 2 seconds, I realized that the joy they bring me during their lifetime outweighs the sheer, intense physical pain that I felt at the end.
ReplyDeleteLife does go on and some days are harder than others, but soon it gets to the point where you feel like they were a dream.
((((HUGS))))
Lynn
Your thoughts and words are so well put. I read this before my own days starts and it makes my day feel lighter..Thanks for sharing that, you've said it well.
ReplyDeleteGood morning (for me) good afternoon (for you). As far as the dogs missing Maddie, they maybe notice that she is gone, but they have the rest of the pack, maybe that's a good thing. It does get better and your good memories of her will remain and it may bring a tear to your eye. Just having her as long as you did is wonderful. After I lost Rough, I swore I couldn't go through that again and wouldn't even look at puppies. The we found Jack, small, afraid and alone on the road. What's a body to do? Yep, give your heart another chance to love. Actually, when we lost Rough, DC was our only pet and she was lost without the dog to terrorize, she drooped around for a long time.
ReplyDeleteDogs in the bed? Who ever heard of such a thing? LOL Until Jill got bigger than Jack, they both slept in the bed. Now Jack sleeps on his pillow in the back hall and Jill sleeps on a folded up comforter on the floor beside me. We still want Jack, but her prefers his own "room" now.
Have fun doing up the goose house, you must show us a picture of it when it's all set up!
Have a good "rest of the day"!
The first thing I thought when we lost our girl was that I would never again be able to have another dog. But you are right-the joy they bring us, and the unconditional love, far outweighs our pain...That's just what we sign up for when we love an animal the way we do.
ReplyDeleteYes I agree with many others here, the pain is the price one pays for loving a dog. I am always comforted in knowing my pets who have crossed knew they were loved and safe.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry -- hugs to all. xoxoxo
We also believe that the joy of having a dear animal or bird as a friend outways the loss...but the loss is still very, very hard. Your little Maddie will always be with you.
ReplyDeleteOddly, I don't think any of the cats or dogs miss Elvis. Next to the dogs, this was his house. He was very opposed to the younger generation moving in, but they didn't pay him any mind. I will miss his middle-of-the-night nuzzles for attention. But he knew he could get it then.
ReplyDelete~Randy
Yes John, we all have to 'get back into the flow' of things.
ReplyDeleteDon't forget to post a few pics of that goose house.I'm learning so much from you 'fowl' people!!
The pain of losing a furry family member is so heart wrenching. I had a Pit Bull for over 15 years and that dog was the best dog ever to have graced my life. I lost him to cancer ten years ago and yes, my heart still aches, but those years we shared together were a gift. Each and every animal that comes into our lives gives us all so many memories, love, etc...
ReplyDeleteEven though the pain of losing them is almost unbearable, but not ever having them at all in our lives is worse. Hope that made sense.
Big hugs to you and Chris.
Huggable John,
ReplyDeleteI came on to check on you, Maddie and must say I am so sorry for your family's loss. There is something so wonderful about the love of pets -- they have the purest love. I have no words to assuage your grief. Sadly all I can offer is the pain I feel in my heart because I understand.
Much love,
From across the pond,
Mal
I don't know that our dogs are missing Maguire either--He was also on the bottom of the Peking order & didn't interact much with the other dogs. But I know that I miss him...And like you and Chris have found that little things that we do that are such a part of our routine like the filling food bowls and taking them for walks are reminders of how much a part of our life they were and how much they mean. Somehow our lives do go on as you said, and I hope you continue to find comfort among your pups and friends and family John.
ReplyDeleteHello John, life definitely goes on doesn't it. No matter what happens or how we feel...it just keeps plugging away. Thank heavens for your other 'babies'...as they help you get on with everyday living so that one day you can look back on the fun times with Maddie and feel happy that she blessed you with her love. Take care....Maura
ReplyDeleteOh I'm so sorry for your loss. Scotties are usually one owner dogs- I know mine always were. Having lost my old springer recently at 18 years old I know the hurt you are feeling- big hugs Jx
ReplyDeleteHello John! Ah Ha....I see your rock wall and if I'd seen that picture earlier I would have asked you if I could use it in my post. I'm still going to go through your archives to see what I've missed but it's just after 11 pm here and I'm beat so I'm off to bed. Have a WONDERFUL Friday! Maura :)
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