Sigh.....health and safety...again!

Readers may recall that last year an anonymous caller contacted the local council's health and safety department about my proposed allotment open... They voiced concerns over the state of the Church Wall and indicated that the public may be "at risk" if it collapsed!
Collapsed! collapsed! it has been standing for nearly three hundred years!!!

Duty bound a sweet lady trundled out to"inspect" my risk assessment plans for the day and even she scoffed at the caller, surmising that they were either a crank or someone that was harbouring some sort of grudge.
I do detest people like these. Every community has them. The character who is the spokesman for the host of complaints that never actually exist or the nameless phone caller who "just thought you would like to know!"...and all in the spirit of health and safety!
So this year everything has been sorted. This morning at 6.45 (Chris woke me up as he went to work) I downed that first lovely cup of coffee of the day as , I drafted out the risk assessment for this years' allotment open.
It was easy enough to do, gawd I remember completing dozens and dozens of the bloody things when I was a ward Manager....but in these days of litigation and blame, they are a necessary evil if any "event" needs to be organised.
There has to be signs for "uneven ground", (people may fall over a rabbit hole) "These animals may peck" (Boris with a gob on) "Do not pick the hens up" (Fear of E coli).......perhaps I should invest in some very large plastic hamster balls, so that visitors can be safely installed inside and can roll themselves around the field without fear of actually coming into contact with anything vaguely dangerous
I heard through the grapevine that when there was the odd hen in the Churchyard someone indicated that there was a potential risk of someone falling over them! To them and people like them all I have to say is "get a life" Mind you, I guess in these days of courtroom payback, laughing in the faces of stupid small minded jobsworths would probably get you saddled with a lawsuit!

tee hee

Jo, the grey gosling has a deformed wing. I recall that when he hatched he dried out very quickly when struggling from his egg and he came out with his wing fixed firmly to his head by dried rock hard mucus. I managed to separate wing from head using some cooled kettle water and some cotton wool but even then the part of lower lobe of the wing looked bent. This part of his wing has no feather growing on it and sticks out comically from his side, but the little chap is not bothered by all this so I will leave well alone and let nature heal it if possible

(above this mornings shot of the goslings watching a tractor passing the cottage)

Weeding,Ghost hens update and the magpie ducks settle in

I have been weeding for six hours today and have just got on top of the main vegetable bed....all this bending and straightening has taken its toll on my back and I must admit increased my flatulence levels!! ( a sign of middle age I am told!)

From my weeding advantage point I could keep an eye on the newer members of the field population.

The ghost hens are still safely in their prefab chicken run, and remain strangely quiet and careful in every aspect of their little lives. But the ex battery hens ARE looking brighter in themselves. Without the frozen fear they exhibited when they first came to me, they will amble in and out of the coop with a little more purpose and strength of step.

Their bald spots are fading somewhat now and they have pecked at "strange" foods such as cabbage leaves and dandelions, a thing they did not do during their first couple of weeks with me

In comparison the magpie ducks seem right at home in their own enclosure. They are handsome upright young ducks, two with chocolate brown markings and one with black. I think I may keep them!

A nIce Day

After the banana/toast incident..we did in fact have a nice relaxing day yesterday!
There was a wedding at the church and the Lych Gate was decorated rather sweetly with old English roses and garlands..it looked so pretty that several of the villagers came around to look and photograph it.

We drove to Llandudno and had a mooch around the New Mostyn Art gallery
http://www.mostyn.org/contact

Although small, the gallery felt light and airy and even though we are not huge modern art people the exhibitions were for the most part interesting!!

Mind you Chris did his usual Mr Spock eyebrows when he spied a collection of some pubic hair looking fur installed on the wall display.

The cafe was rather minimalist but very trendy ( we liked that) and Chris (below) liked the gallery shop which sold things like wicker baskets for 83£!

We had a rather nice lunch at Osborne's and Chris treated me to some clothes and a jaunty sun hat for the allotment....
It was a nice afternoon

Today is rainy and dull. Chris will get back to some writing and I need to get stuck in with some weeding.

The magpie ducks have settled in quite nicely but I have yet to sex all three of them as yet....they are very young but I am sure I have heard at least one quack so far......I hope I have two females and one drake.....time will tell. I will blog some photos of them as well as an update on the ghost hens later if I remember

I am just draining my second cup of coffee and it is 9.20 am.....off for a long march with the dogs now then off to weed
Above is a splash of red Montbretia that has just flowered in the back garden

Banana shock

The day almost got off to a bad start after I took Chris his usual breakfast in bed!

Instead of his usual "fry up" I thought I would try him out with some healthy eating for a change...

so with his nice cup of hot tea I presented him with some nice wholewheat toast with a sliced banana on top!!!

Looking and sounding like Rumpole of the Bailey he bellowed

"I am NOT eating Children's food!!!!"

Without a word I went downstairs, removed the offending fruit and replaced it with peanut butter (I also managed to quash the urge to rub the buttered bread into Albert's cat litter tray)

Healthy eating will have to wait until lunch me thinks!

Today I am having a day off from weeding. We are going to Llandudno to experience the new Mostyn Art Gallery then having lunch at Osborn House........

I will have to give my face a scrub

Lonely George and the Magpie Ducks

Without Maddie, George remains a little quiet and isolated. While the two Welsh spat over the remains of an over baked lasagna dish in the kitchen this morning, George took himself off upstairs out of the way.

I sneaked up with him and cuddled up on the bed to give him a little "quality" time and I am now resolved to get him a pal of his own at some point in the future. Funnily enough the breeder where we got all of our dogs from has a scottie bitch which may become available (she is the last scottie she has and will have!) In Susan's words she has a good "heart".....and is called Tweed.......we will need to think about her.

Yesterday I lady from the next hamlet called down to the field. She asked if I could call into her farm and review her new hens which had been delivered recently. New to hen keeping, she had suddenly "inherited" 40 or so pure breed young birds but had not idea of breeds and sex.

I called around to her farm yesterday afternoon. It was one of those farms that could have come straight out of Home and Country magazine. The yard was so neat and clean that you could have eaten your dinner from it, and all of the young birds were in enclosures and coops that would not have looked out of place in Buckingham Palace's gardens.

Cuckoo cochins, brahmas, silkies with their pompom heads filled every run and I did what I could to give some advice and guidance.

Before I left the woman asked me if I would take her three Magpie ducks. She had inherited these with the hens, and although they too were beautifully looked after, their run was way too small for them. I have agreed and so I now have three of these traditional welsh ducks to join the Indian runner flock

Watch out they're loaded

Chris photographed me carrying the goslings from the front garden in the rain this evening!
I have learnt the hard way that care MUST be employed when transporting goslings, as they have the rather unfortunate tendency to explosively open their bowels without any warning whatsoever!
The best method I now use, is to hold each gosling backwards with their head tucked underneath my armpit and their "arse" cupped over each palm. In this odd position each baby remains quiet and still and when they do want to open their copious bowels, I just have enough warning ( which is usually a quiet fart) to point their bums forward so that the liquid sh*t shoots ahead like a bullet out of a gun!
Mind you looking at the above photo..I do look a little like a very VERY ugly woman with her somewhat odd pendulous breasts hanging out!!!!!
This evening gentleman farmer Ralph and his missus caught me thus "armed" with the babies and this morning a woman out for a walk with her Labrador stopped to watch me "firing" poo from both barrels as I walked into the field!!!!!

Caught up with Nu this evening and had a good gossip as she drank wine in her Ealing conservatory and I watched the rain from the bedroom window seat She is a senior nursing manager that covers two major London hospital departments and has a hugely stressful lifestyle! sometimes I feel a little parochial when we do catch up with things its a bit like Doc meeting up with Holly Golightly in Breakfast at Tiffany's.....I have organised a trip to see her in September and will take her to see Sweet Charity for her Birthday! a city visit...how exciting!

As Requested

Ok, I know I risk sounding like Delia soddin Smith but here goes

Mix a good sized portion of smoked mackerel with some cooked cod

Add a cooked onion and some cold mashed potato (that has been mixed with garlic and butter)

mix together with salt, pepper, parsley or coriander and a good lot ( and I MEAN at least two level teaspoons of paprika

Leave in the fridge to get slightly stiff ( at least 2 hours)

separate the mixture into cakes and dip into plain flour ( with more paprika added)

Lightly fry in olive oil until crisp

To each his own

I am not sure about the Liberace type hair do, but the smile is still as gracious as ever,...Olivia De Havilland, the VERY last of the Hollywood greats is still going strong at 94.

Nuff said