Going Gently

The Scent Of Honeysuckle

Yesterday one of the sisters on our local intensive care unit sent me a photo of the staff accepting Mrs Trellis' sponsored walk monies.
She asked me to forward it on which I will do
I will probably frame it for her also.
A nice momento for the kitchen wall.

Siri? What day is it today?
Sunday! Crikey ...it's the last day of May today !!!
It's June 1st tomorrow ....

I'm making a tomato, papaya, salmon and mozzarella salad for lunch
The ones I used to love in Sitges
But I've forgotton the fucking basil !
Bollocks

I wasn't going to blog today but my sister in law just video messaged me worried that I had not blogged for a few days .( she had not refreshed her Going Gently page )
At least if I ever succumb to a serious illness , I will always be found by a worried relative or friend before the dogs start eating my face off!

That's the down side of blogging sometimes.
Everyone seems to know your news but you don't always know theirs
A one way mirror of sorts.

Lockdown changes here tomorrow and I will go and see my sister to give her my birthday gifts.
I think it's going to be as hot as it is here today so we shall sit in her garden and I shall drink tea out of my own cup and saucer, and made by me in my sturdy thermos!

How different we do things?

I can't tell you how glorious it is here
Right in this one small moment of time
I have the front door of the cottage open and the sun is heating the honeysuckle flowers that adorns the front of Bwthyn y llan so that the whole house is filled with the scent of a June birthday!

The intensity of the fragrance cannot be described, it's so strong and heady
The carpet needs a hoover, Winnie has kicked around three of the fifteen scatter cushions in temper as she waits for her lunch and Albert needs a feeding .
I haven't made my bed yet
And there are dishes to wash up
Oh and all of the plants on the patio need watering after which underpants need fetching from their sunning places on the garden shrubs

But the cottage is full of honeysuckle , and I'm not moving for a few more moments yet!!

Awakenings equinox

Last night , just before bed the five of us walked slowly over to the field to sit in the last

Rays of the sun

I found this piece of music recently and listened to it on my headphones as the dogs

Slipped into comfortable lumps at my side and lap.

Albert tiptoed amid the bodies to sit

And typical of his breed, he narrowed his eyes towards the sunset

Thoughts at the Kitchen Table.

This photo brought back some lovely memories today
Thank you Facebook for randomly choosing this photo to remind me of times past
The ones you usually fucking pick for me, invariably piss me off big style.

This one shows me teaching my nephew how to give a sick ghost hen it's medication
It was perhaps eight years ago now, at the height of the Ukrainian Village boom

He had undiagnosed Aspergers then so was seen to be slightly awkward and somewhat heavy handed., but I do remember his abject concentration at the task in hand once I had showed him how to master the vagaries of a one ml insulin syringe full of antibiotic.

I will be posting some of my lockdown dvds to him today. Some Korean disaster movies as I am trying to widen his interests away from Star Wars and Marvel

The lockdown has sort of cemented some of my relationships and have helped to blossom other newer ones.
I'm presently at the kitchen table and have sat through two recorded short stories written by a friend of a friend who has become my friend over the last few weeks. Later I will give the author some feedback
Oh I'm never short of an opinion

Daily my two Hospice besties Ben and Ruth will sign in on our shared messager channel for a natter. Nothing sparkling, some gossip at work, a shared dough story, a kind word and from Monday we may even be able to sit in each other's gardens with a glass of Ben's homemade beer
Hey ho

Days off at home amble to their own pace now
I've hit that wall that so often happens on the second week of a much anticipated holiday
I've relaxed.

Just looking at the masses of potted geraniums and antirrhinum lined up next to my agapanthus and violas in the sun of the patio is enough for me this morning. I have no blistering need to plant them out not just yet
It's too hot anyway.

The shapes on the greenery are my underpants drying in the sun

Mary is out walking with Hattie.
Winnie is sucking the life blood out of a charred pizza which I left far too long in the oven last night
and Dorothy is probably contemplating having a piss of my newly laundered bed spread
The one my twin sister was getting rid of
I called her down a few minutes ago and she sat in my arms for a few mintes as I listened to the taped stories, rocking back and forth like a worried baby, her eyes never leaving mine
She's a damaged little soul
And will, I suspect, remain one all of her life

I've bought salad and king prawns for tea and have planned a chicken salad for work tomorrow.
I had a text from one of the hospice support workers thanking me for explaining PPE properly to her whilst she was stressed and fraught and fearful
It's nice to get feedback
But looking at the photo taken of me instructing my nephew in animal husbandry

I think I've always been a good teacher

Clacker Problem

Hattie' s recent oil painting of the Church

It's the illustration which represents the village Warden Group

At the 8pm clap Hattie and I made a truly miserable social isolating attempt at pulling the Church Bell for the briefest of times .
We had left a donation for Church Funds and hope the vicar has enough to buy a new clacker as I am sure it was the clacker and not us to blame for the poor bell ringing.

Like naughty school girls we both emerged from the vestry , red faced from our poor attempt, and were greeted by the Randas who were less than impressed with the performance ! Affable Despot Jason later wrote on the village what's app forum thus....
" I went down to listen .....like most artists, I feel Johnstruggled to match his first album !"

At least old Trevor from Cwm Road was happy . He was born in the village 95 years ago and was holding his phone up to his equally aged sister in nearby Prestatyn so she could here the bell ring!!!

Village leader Ian texted " you'll have to do some practice on your rhythm John...."
Which was answered by The Velvet Voiced Linda who cuttingly said " Anyway what about the bell?

Everyone's a critic !!!!

Pride

Mrs Trellis and her famous bobble hat at the Christmas Fayre

There is something quite moving and incredibly charming about someone's unexpected pride in something they have achieved.
Tonight was a case in point.
The jungle telegraph from The Velvet Voiced Linda and her Trelawnyd Street Wardens was that Mrs Trellis had raised 500£ from her sponsored walk, money which would be earmarked for the staff of my own former Intensive Care Unit
I caught Mrs Trellis out near Byron Street and I told her just how proud we all were of her
Looking beyond the laughter, and the chatter and the matter-of-factness of our conversation
I suddenly recognised a slight waiver of the chin and a watery glint in her eyes and as I repeated the words " Well Done"
The old lady raised her head proudly and firmly nodded her acknowledgement to something rather special

And her sudden tearful pride made my heart soar like the swallows over Well Street

lonely

I couldn't sleep that well last night and was up around 5 am bathing before thinking about going to work.
A flapping at the window signalled the arrival of the now single bantam cockerel on his way to the gardens towards Trendy Carol's for the morning.
He sat on the window sill looking at me for a moment
Then sat some more
Quietly and without panic as I splashed quietly away
In the first time in his life that has spanned over two years now, he is alone
And I am sure he sat watching me , because he recognised me as someone who occasionally feeds him.
He's in his own lockdown now.
Alone and suddenly lonely
And sat a few feet away from someone he was familiar with
A moment that may have made him feel just a tiny bit better.

Double Entendre

Knock on the lane window around 1.30 pm
It was old "Mr Hughes" brandishing an Aldi Carrier bag

He's a brusque fellow, not really known for his warmth,
I came out to the kitchen wall and said hello

Apparantly his street Warden had given him a couple of ready meals that were not quite to his taste
" I thought your dogs may like them!" he said with uncharacteristic generosity
I looked at the container

" I hate offal" he said seriously and I laughed
" Oh I haven't had a nice faggot for an absolute age !" I replied ....giddy as a kipper!!!

Mr Hughes sort of half smiled and there was a faint twinkle in his eye

" Aye..... that's the lockdown for you we've all had to make sacrifices "

Some may a bit of help to get this joke
See

faggot

/ˈfaɡət/

See definitions in:

All

Sex

Savoury

Needlework

noun

1.

INFORMAL•OFFENSIVE

a male homosexual.
2.

a bundle of sticks bound together as fuel.

Nearly 58

My back garden

I've done practically nothing today

I was still so tired.

I've read more of the wonderful book " On The Red Hill " by Mike Parker surrounded by bulldogs and only moved to go to the loo where I continued to read, still surrounded by bulldogs before returning to my original resting place

The lane was busy with walkers, so when I eventually ventured outside to buy pet food conversations were had with German Bernard and Marjorie, Animal Helper Pat ( who was adding her garden waste to my field bonfire) and Meirion ( a meeting I cut short with the excuse of feeding the animals as he likes a rather long chat)

I returned to the sofa soon after and was interrupted by a neighbour who was worried about the disappearance of one bantam cockerels who live the gardens around here.

Mary, Dorothy and I went for a scout round and found lumps of sad feathers in a nearby field
I remember well, my livestock keeping days, they taught me well the ways and habits of the fox and badger

I will break the news to the locals later . They all have grown to love the bachelor cockerels.

The single surviving bantam quietly made his way across my garden to his roosting tree in the graveyard at dusk tonight.

It's sad to see him alone.

My sister has just asked what I want for my birthday and after long think I've asked her to upgrade by tiny front garden with her green fingers and some colourful planting.

We are 58 in a week's time

58! The last time I really noticed I was 40
My sisters are a constant in my life...I've known them both 58 years!

Where does the time go?

Flip Flop

Over two days of twelve hour shifts I have run the gauntlet of PPE
I'm not complaining , it's just a statement of fact
IMAGINE a large pink hairy pig being squeezed into a flaccid sky blue condom
Add to the mix a tight plastic mask , the size of a large breathless yogurt pot, clinging blue latex gloves and a steamed up visor which looked as though it may have been born in Chenobyl and you may get the gist of what I have looked like since early yesterday morning.
One of my colleagues , whilst finally helping to peel the sweaty plastic mess from my slug like body summed it up thus
" Jesus!!!!!You smell like fucking Gandi 's Flip Flop!"

I Say

This week I wanted to say this to someone I know

" You are a nice person

But you'll never be a kind one "

but of course I didn't

In the great scheme of things .....
It's not important

But Inso need to say it !
Hey ho

What We Shall Remember

Do you remember the covid lockdown daddy?
The nights we had Zoom night quizzes with the family?
Where The Mummy, A cowboy, Indiana Jones, Johnny Depp, Charlie Chaplin and Princess Leia amongst others battled for a single Cadbury's cream egg!
Do you remember those days daddy?
Do you remember?

Pottering

Yesterday I planted out deep red geraniums in pots, Spanish style,on the kitchen wall
The winds increased to gales this morning and I found all of the pots hidden safely in the shelter of the front garden stone wall, saved by a kind passerby.
I was going to use the word nice here rather than kind to describe the Good Samaritan but in my considered opinion many nice people are not kind.
Kindness is an action
Painfully nice people just use words
I made avacado on sour bread toast with eggs for brunch
Sorted out cupboards and drawers
I took Dorothy and Mary for a walk out of the village to the East, past Chic Eleanor's. Large White washed home
By chance she saw me passing and invited me onto the patio with a swirl of her scarf in the wind
" Darling John, do have a socially distant double shot coffee and we 'll brave the storm together!!"
I sat on her windswept patio as she made coffee from scratch
"Forgive me, I look a right sight!" Eleanor gasped " I have my lockdown tat on"
This made me laugh as Eleanor would look good wearing a bin bag
We chatted for a while before the dogs got bored and needed to move on

I made chicken salad for lunch and prepared chicken noodles for my lunch tomorrow at work.
For the first couple of months of lockdown the Hospice kindly made all of their staff a free lunch, which was incredibly kind. Now, realistically that kindness cannot be sustained so it's back to preparing my own.....
Not a bad thing

This afternoon I'm making a hat with a sign on it
The sign reads Happy Birthday Chris written backwards
I'm attending a Zoom family quiz and it's my nephew's birthday !

I ve just popped into Church to leave my donation for bell ringing , I re positioned a painted stone I found on my wall yesterday...it's a pass it forward good wishes stone left by a local child and videod the laburnam , which shines golden in the sun.

Affable despot Jason has added to his huge collection of morale boosting videos on the Street warden's social group...I'm watching them now as I juggle writing this and making soup

The Bells The Bells

Well I must say Deborah Kerr in Black Narcissus made pulling the fuck out of the Great bell on the side of the Himalayas look like a piece of cake.
Hattie and My efforts were all a bit shaky compared to that nun in a heavy habit
As you can see
Great fun !!!!!
One less thing on my bucket list

Shut Up And Dance With Me

I was tired and emotional yesterday

Today's glorious sun has taken over from my aggressive tendencies and after a long sleep in after getting up too early

My mood has lifted.

It's 7pm and the cottage windows are wide open to the near summer conditions

Mary is out with Hattie and her boyfriend Adam

Hattie and I will be ringing the Church bell tomorrow at 8pm

The bulldogs are down at Trendy Carol's, respite which allowed me to clean the floors and scrub the patio.

Trendy Carol is wearing her summer linen.

We have our old , more cheerful postman back....he left me my ordered Korean disaster movies and an early birthday card from Marilyn ....thank you! My birthday is not until June 1st

Yes , I'm a Gemini

A week or so ago I posted a wonderful dance video from classic Hollywood movies. Today I will leave you with this more modern day version.

It's a triumph of editing ....

Enjoy

It is pure joy

Bunfight

My old blog friend Mike (Should Fish More), didnt know what a Bunfight was yesterday.
Perhaps it is more a British word than an American one.
It can mean one of two things
A grand , official tea party.....
Or a heated argument.
If I write bunfight, invariably I mean the latter

I've been overdue for a heated argument for a while
One has been simmering in my post decree absolute psychi for a long time now
I've known that for a while now,
I know myself very well.

This morning I was called a fat prick by a skinny, ratty looking man in a sports t shirt .
He had obvious shortness of bone, a shopping trolley full of cheap lager and two badly behaved children who were doing their own thing near the avacados

After trying to negotiate the brats for a while, unsuccessfully I may add, I remarked quietly to the man to "take control of his children !"
Obviously the rebuke hit home and the man kicked off

A bunfight ensued.

Now I know rebuking another guys kids in front of him never really ends well,
But my blood was up ( as was my blood pressure) and transference needed a way forward

Well, I must thank the young lady who joined in the " debate" after the young ratty man referred to me as a FAT PRICK !!
She reminded the man that it was still dangerous to let kids wander ad hoc and given that covid rates are rising in North Wales
Ratty man told her to "fuck off too!!!"

This was no arguement that could be won by my usual resort of " Cheap Shoes!!!" As ratty man was wearing very expensive looking trainers
And so in my best Joyce Grenfell voice I countered with
" I may be a fat prick but you are a fucking ignorant arsehole !"

On reflection
A double edged sword that reply lol .........

I'll Get This

I almost missed choir " Zoom"
I fell asleep dribbling in my arm chair at 5pm
Choir was 6.30 pm and we sang a Welsh lullaby which was sweet, but I'm too tired to catch up with friends for a proper chat...I wouldn't give it justice
I will do all that tomorrow

Tonight I've had several gin and tonics and with Mary balanced in the crook of my arm have watched Gogglebox and I'll Get This
Two brilliant tv shows
Cro in his blog today talked about alcohol and the lockdown ......and boy did that bring out a bunfight out of nowhere

Bed soon, in clean, field scented sheets
Stretched taught like when you were a child
I needed to be home tonight

Pentaglottis and Cow Parsley

I washed my bedding when I got home after my last night shift and as usual hung it on the field gate to dry when I went to bed.
It tells people I am home
It's a lovely day, bright, warm and full of birdsong.
I took advantage of the fact that the council workmen have not cleared the grass in the Churchyard and cut myself a large bunch of the blue Pentaglossis which I have coupled up with Cow Parsley from the lane in a spare jug for the kitchen table.
It feels so good to be free of work for a few days

Your Atticus Finch Moment ?

We would all like to to think that we grew up in a Town called
Maycomb Alabama

Obviously the backdrop of the Great Depression and of racism are not subjects to be trivialised
Here , but the thought of growing up with a parent with the stature of Atticus Finch is perhaps every child's ( and indeed Adult's dream) when they survey their childhood with rose tinted or tired eyes

My parents were too wrapped up in their own issues to really be bothered with the moral dilemmas in side their kids' heads.
Having said this I do remember one Atticus moment amid a brown 1970s childhood.
I had gone to bed , but had got up to listen to a family discussion from the safety of the top of the stairs. The discussion was centred around someone known to the family who had been caught in a gay clinch so to speak and it is important to remember here that in the 1970s, this sort of thing was deemed rather shocking to say the least.
Amid the head shaking and the " shame" comments one voice proved to be the voice of reason and balance and that was the voice of my mother.
Like Henry Fonda's juror number 8, in Twelve Angry Men , she calmly stuck up for the person involved, patiently giving a human face to the whole situation and pouring oil on a very stormy sea.

Even at twelve , I remember being rather proud of her individual stand against a tide of small mindedness...and even at twelve I knew that she was right and they were wrong.

What was your Atticus Finch moment?

I'd be interested to Know!

Sunday

I'm on my break at work and I've been a bit naughty

Already tonight I have bought some Clinique Happy fragrance on line and followed up that extravagance by buying two Korean disaster movies on DVD

I'm just one mad crazy bitch

I will leave you with this little video, which is charming as it is funny

Meeting Billy

How's everyone doing ?
I ask that because , after a bit of a straw poll at work, it seems commonplace for everyone to be more emotionally labile now than they were before the lockdown.
Does everyone feel this way?
Well I think they do
Yesterday evening was a case in point
I had just got out of my car at work when a huge wild Billy goat suddenly appeared next to me.
We looked at each other for the longest of times and he remained unmoving and unafraid when I reached into my pocket for my camera in order to photograph him.
I chatted to him and reached out a hand ( which he studiously ignored even though it was literally an inch from his face) but he still held my gaze (something wild creatures are so unable to do ) until it was me that was ready to go
The encounter moved me greatly

The ringing of the Church Beall on Thursday night brought out a plethora of emotional comments on the village what's app and Facebook groups. Many of the villagers who had probably never even stepped inside the Church were moved to tears by the tolling of its bell and I thought then, that significant weight had changed to the more simple of events, that would not have held any emotional importance when not in lockdown.

There is no real getting away from it
We all have been truly affected by the events of the past two months
And we have been affected so much more than we care or choose to admit

Am I right?
Or is this the rambling of a middle aged old drama Queen
Stuck on overtime night shifts

How I envision myself ringing the bell next week!!