Knock on the lane window around 1.30 pm
It was old "Mr Hughes" brandishing an Aldi Carrier bag
He's a brusque fellow, not really known for his warmth,
I came out to the kitchen wall and said hello
Apparantly his street Warden had given him a couple of ready meals that were not quite to his taste
" I thought your dogs may like them!" he said with uncharacteristic generosity
I looked at the container
" I hate offal" he said seriously and I laughed
" Oh I haven't had a nice faggot for an absolute age !" I replied ....giddy as a kipper!!!
Mr Hughes sort of half smiled and there was a faint twinkle in his eye
" Aye..... that's the lockdown for you we've all had to make sacrifices "
Some may a bit of help to get this joke
See
It was old "Mr Hughes" brandishing an Aldi Carrier bag
He's a brusque fellow, not really known for his warmth,
I came out to the kitchen wall and said hello
Apparantly his street Warden had given him a couple of ready meals that were not quite to his taste
" I thought your dogs may like them!" he said with uncharacteristic generosity
I looked at the container
" Oh I haven't had a nice faggot for an absolute age !" I replied ....giddy as a kipper!!!
Mr Hughes sort of half smiled and there was a faint twinkle in his eye
" Aye..... that's the lockdown for you we've all had to make sacrifices "
Some may a bit of help to get this joke
See
faggot
/ˈfaɡət/
See definitions in:
noun
- 1.INFORMAL•OFFENSIVEa male homosexual.
- 2.a bundle of sticks bound together as fuel.
-
Naughty Mr Hughes.
ReplyDeleteWish I was naughty
DeleteGood to know there was a glimmer within the brusque exterior. It quite heartens you at times like this, Giddy as a kipper... love that!
ReplyDeleteLX
Giddy as a kipper
Deletegiddy kipper
metaphorical phrase for someone who is overly excited ... only found in regional dialect ... mainly lancastrian
Nice that you both got the laugh!
ReplyDeleteAnd faggots were mentioned lol
DeleteYou are just do quick witted. What a kind thought.
ReplyDeleteIt tickled me
DeleteBundles of faggots were a common thing on the farm and I have never got used to the word having other meanings. It is still in common usage around here as a bundle of sticks used by thatchers and fencers. Anyway, I hope you get to enjoy your faggots.
ReplyDeleteLive and learn! Ta for the dictionary definitions and love your witty reply to Mr. Hughes. :)
ReplyDeleteDid you or the dogs consume the meals?
Hugs!
I had one for lunch.
DeleteIt was bloody lovely
British humor surfaces in even the most unexpected people.
ReplyDeleteDon't you just love it
DeleteWell, if it's keeping you away from contemptible women, all the better, I say. (Mind you, I'm not a fan of chopped liver, either...)
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't the women he was referring to lol x
DeleteNot sure which made me chuckle most, giddy as a kipper or Mr Hughes comment. Living in the West Country of England, butchers faggots are often on the menu.
ReplyDeleteIt was the twinkle of the eye that gave his dry humour away
DeleteI did
ReplyDeleteLove that your neighbour had a twinkle!
ReplyDeleteI've spent the last 5 days reading your posts since late 2017 with tears of laughter & sadness and can relate to an awful lot of your experiences. I was so pleased to read that your cottage became yours and that the divorce became complete and am expecting the same emotional reaction when mine is finished.
Please fuss Albert for me, with warm wishes from a Tortie-slave in Cheshire x
Floss....it's been a long road
DeleteI understand your feelings
Always remember
" this too shall pass !"
X
😘
DeleteI never knew there were faggots made of liver or that kippers could be giddy. It's been a very instructive (and amusing) morning.
ReplyDeleteGiddy as a kipper is one of my favourite sayings
DeleteMemories of Round The Horn, "ooo you are awful! ..."
ReplyDeleteThanks be for humour
But I dooo like u
DeleteI'm afraid I can only see a thought bubble "Now, who do I know who might like a faggot?"
ReplyDeleteWere are everywhere !!!!
DeleteThere is a Faggots Lane in our town.
ReplyDeleteIs it dimly lit?
DeleteI had no idea there were so many meanings connected to the word "faggot" ... I only know of the one! 🙄
ReplyDeleteCome here and you live and learn
DeleteBoy, you can say that again, John! LOL
DeleteI think it's great when a usually frosty person thaws eventually.I enjoy persevering with them until they crack.It works most times.I haven't had a faggot for over 40 years now but I do partake very occasionally to a portion of stuffing x
ReplyDeleteI think Mr Hughes is a bit of a maverick
DeleteSo many meanings for the word faggot ... and all I ever think of is fatty meatballs. Is that what they actually taste like or are they spicy?
ReplyDeleteVery savoury ...very tasty
DeleteLMAO at that name! 😜 Oh my goodness... 😄 Anyways, I love more than one faggot, then! 🧡🖤💛💚🤍💙💜🤎
ReplyDeleteDefinitions #3 and #4 are new to me!
ReplyDeleteI love an arse joke
ReplyDeleteThere you go x
ReplyDeleteOMB, didn't know there WAS such a food thing. horrible name though. and I snorted at your little joke, knowing full well what you meant. :)
ReplyDeleteI bet , u dirty cow x
Deletemooooooooooooooo!
DeleteIt really is true about Americans and the English speaking very different languages! LOL I only knew 2 of those meanings. xo
ReplyDeleteI think it's common in the uk for words to have multiple meanings depending on the geographical area x
DeleteI only knew it as a bundle of sticks. Never knew it was a food name.
ReplyDeletecheers, parsnip
Gayle xx
DeleteOh, this made me laugh! Thanks for sharing the humor and the eye glint with us, John!
ReplyDeleteAnd, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to CAMERON!
DeleteThanks very much!!!
DeleteHappy 21st birthday to Village Boffin Cameron! That is some jazzy yellow car next to him. Was the car a birthday present for him??
ReplyDeleteHugs!
He is an apprentice at Jaguar cars
DeleteWhat a great job to have! Do they provide all employees with bibs so they don't drool on the cars? :)
DeleteHugs!
I wish that car was a present!
Delete£1.8 million it costs.
Search the Bentley Bacalar 😊
The start of, perhaps not a new friendship, but at least a rewarding association. Happy Birthday, Cameron. We have seen you grow up on John's blog and it has been a pleasure to follow the development of a fine young man.
ReplyDeleteThe village is very proud of him
DeleteThanks so much!
DeleteI've lost count how long I've known John. He's a great friend.
There is so much to be said for village life John.
ReplyDeleteI expeect bulldogs and faggots go together like peaches and cream.
I may disagree lol xx
DeleteHave a wank dear
ReplyDeleteShow us your stump
DeleteYou first
DeleteYou are so bad you pirate
Deletecan I watch both of you?
DeleteShiver me timbers
DeleteNot sure I have ever had a faggot of either variety. I saw you hospice on TV - lovely story , stay safe
ReplyDeleteI didn't know we were on tv ! Do tell
DeleteHappy Birthday to Cameron.
ReplyDeleteThere is obviously more to Mr Hughes than meets the eye. Love his quick rejoinder.
Yes it made me titter
DeleteThankyou!!!
DeleteHappy Birthday to Cameron!! I still remember that gorgeous, gorgeous photo he took of a sheep looking straight into the camera.
ReplyDeleteIrene has never looked better
DeleteThanks Very much!
DeleteShe's quite a model!
Try one, a good faggot is a delight
ReplyDelete:) Well he is right. It is the lock down that keeps us apart from who ever you desire.
ReplyDeleteFaggots included
DeleteHa-ha! Good old Mr Hughes! Didn't they use a bunch of faggots to burn Joan of Arc?
ReplyDeleteShe died a diva
DeleteOh, the color of the English Language! But like you, I haven't had one of those in MONTHS!
ReplyDeleteAnd Cameron is of age!
XOXO
Oh stop it, he's like my nephew
DeleteHi it was about the goat merchandise being sold for the hospice funds worldwide. I missed it as going to work but saw trailer.
ReplyDeleteOh yes thanks to the bloggers here, the hospice changed its policy for international sales and has made a killing x
DeleteI haven't had a faggot since I left school. I did used to enjoy them with mash and peas though. Mr Hughes sounds quite a guy; those people who seem so aloof sometimes can surprise you, in his case it took a lock down to thaw him a little. Glad you enjoyed them.
ReplyDeleteJo in Auckland
I didn't know the third definition so a bundle of sticks didn't make sense to me.
ReplyDeleteHAPPY BIRTHDAY CAMERON! the whole world is open to you now!
ReplyDeleteThankyou very much!
DeleteThis adulting thing is weird hahaha
I had never seen that usage of the word faggot, I remember some muttering faggot to me as and insult, I responded, thank you for noticing. Cameron looks good with his birthday present.
ReplyDeleteI wish it was my present hahaha.
Delete£1.8 million that'd cost :D
Hee hee hee! Thanks for the laugh John. That made my day.
ReplyDeleteThis made me smile broadly. Good on Mr Hughes.
ReplyDeleteI knew the offensive use but not the other. That is a beautiful yellow car with the birthday guy.
ReplyDeleteI've never eaten them like that, but butcher-made faggots are delicious. It's finding them that's the tricky bit.
ReplyDeleteWhat fun banter back and forth you were both quick of the mark I'm always two steps behind, my husbands family are always ahead of me I always think later of what I could have said all in good fun.
ReplyDeleteHowd apt x
ReplyDeleteBwhahaha!!
ReplyDeleteGood to know the word faggot is used a lot less these days - as well as various other abusive terms that were rife when I was younger.
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ReplyDelete