Tuesday, 26 May 2020

Double Entendre

Knock on the lane window around 1.30 pm
It was  old "Mr Hughes" brandishing an Aldi Carrier bag

He's a brusque fellow, not really known for his warmth,
I came out to the kitchen wall and said hello

Apparantly his street Warden had given him a couple of ready meals that were not quite to his taste
" I thought your dogs may like them!" he said with uncharacteristic generosity
I looked at the container


" I hate offal" he said seriously and I laughed
" Oh I haven't had a nice faggot for an absolute age !" I replied ....giddy as a kipper!!!

Mr Hughes sort of half smiled and there was a faint twinkle in his eye

" Aye..... that's the lockdown for you we've all had to make sacrifices  " 

Some may a bit of help to get this joke
See

faggot
/หˆfaษกษ™t/
See definitions in:

All
Sex
Savoury
Needlework
noun
  1. 1. 
    INFORMALOFFENSIVE
    a male homosexual.
  2. 2. 
    a bundle of sticks bound together as fuel.

106 comments:

  1. Naughty Mr Hughes.

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  2. Good to know there was a glimmer within the brusque exterior. It quite heartens you at times like this, Giddy as a kipper... love that!

    LX

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    Replies
    1. Giddy as a kipper
      giddy kipper
      metaphorical phrase for someone who is overly excited ... only found in regional dialect ... mainly lancastrian

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  3. Nice that you both got the laugh!

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  4. One of my favourite dinners ever is a twinpack of Brains faggots! Available in the freezer cabinet of all respectable food outlets!
    These look delicious. (The onions make them unsuitable for dogs so I hope you enjoy them yourself!)

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  5. You are just do quick witted. What a kind thought.

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  6. Bundles of faggots were a common thing on the farm and I have never got used to the word having other meanings. It is still in common usage around here as a bundle of sticks used by thatchers and fencers. Anyway, I hope you get to enjoy your faggots.

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    1. My first faggot since March

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    2. You're slipping. They mentioned faggots on Chateaux DIY tonight. They had a bunch to light a pizza oven.

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  7. Barbara Anne2:49 pm

    Live and learn! Ta for the dictionary definitions and love your witty reply to Mr. Hughes. :)

    Did you or the dogs consume the meals?

    Hugs!

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    Replies
    1. I had one for lunch.
      It was bloody lovely

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  8. British humor surfaces in even the most unexpected people.

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  9. Well, if it's keeping you away from contemptible women, all the better, I say. (Mind you, I'm not a fan of chopped liver, either...)

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    Replies
    1. It wasn't the women he was referring to lol x

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  10. Heather3:00 pm

    Not sure which made me chuckle most, giddy as a kipper or Mr Hughes comment. Living in the West Country of England, butchers faggots are often on the menu.

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    1. It was the twinkle of the eye that gave his dry humour away

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  11. Love that your neighbour had a twinkle!

    I've spent the last 5 days reading your posts since late 2017 with tears of laughter & sadness and can relate to an awful lot of your experiences. I was so pleased to read that your cottage became yours and that the divorce became complete and am expecting the same emotional reaction when mine is finished.
    Please fuss Albert for me, with warm wishes from a Tortie-slave in Cheshire x

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    Replies
    1. Floss....it's been a long road
      I understand your feelings
      Always remember
      " this too shall pass !"
      X

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  12. I never knew there were faggots made of liver or that kippers could be giddy. It's been a very instructive (and amusing) morning.

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    1. Giddy as a kipper is one of my favourite sayings

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  13. Memories of Round The Horn, "ooo you are awful! ..."
    Thanks be for humour

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  14. I'm afraid I can only see a thought bubble "Now, who do I know who might like a faggot?"

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  15. There is a Faggots Lane in our town.

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  16. Lots of faggots in Thomas Hardy novels! I remember the old Rissole joke, Why are they called rissoles? Because they're made from ear 'oles, eye 'oles, and arse 'holes. Boom Boom x

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  17. I had no idea there were so many meanings connected to the word "faggot" ... I only know of the one! ๐Ÿ™„

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    Replies
    1. Come here and you live and learn

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    2. Boy, you can say that again, John! LOL

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  18. I think it's great when a usually frosty person thaws eventually.I enjoy persevering with them until they crack.It works most times.I haven't had a faggot for over 40 years now but I do partake very occasionally to a portion of stuffing x

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    Replies
    1. I think Mr Hughes is a bit of a maverick

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  19. So many meanings for the word faggot ... and all I ever think of is fatty meatballs. Is that what they actually taste like or are they spicy?

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  20. LMAO at that name! ๐Ÿ˜œ Oh my goodness... ๐Ÿ˜„ Anyways, I love more than one faggot, then! ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ–ค๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿค๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’œ๐ŸคŽ

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  21. Definitions #3 and #4 are new to me!

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  22. OMB, didn't know there WAS such a food thing. horrible name though. and I snorted at your little joke, knowing full well what you meant. :)

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  23. It really is true about Americans and the English speaking very different languages! LOL I only knew 2 of those meanings. xo

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    1. I think it's common in the uk for words to have multiple meanings depending on the geographical area x

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  24. When I first moved to England I was astonished to find "faggots" for sale in Tesco! I knew the expression "fags" for cigarettes, but I'd never heard this word for meatballs. (Do they HAVE to contain offal? I have no idea how to make a faggot -- LOL!)

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    1. Try one, a good faggot is a delight

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  25. I only knew it as a bundle of sticks. Never knew it was a food name.
    cheers, parsnip

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  26. Oh, this made me laugh! Thanks for sharing the humor and the eye glint with us, John!

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    Replies
    1. And, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to CAMERON!

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    2. Thanks very much!!!

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  27. Barbara Anne5:57 pm

    Happy 21st birthday to Village Boffin Cameron! That is some jazzy yellow car next to him. Was the car a birthday present for him??

    Hugs!

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    1. He is an apprentice at Jaguar cars

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    2. Barbara Anne9:17 pm

      What a great job to have! Do they provide all employees with bibs so they don't drool on the cars? :)

      Hugs!

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    3. I wish that car was a present!
      £1.8 million it costs.

      Search the Bentley Bacalar ๐Ÿ˜Š

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  28. The start of, perhaps not a new friendship, but at least a rewarding association. Happy Birthday, Cameron. We have seen you grow up on John's blog and it has been a pleasure to follow the development of a fine young man.

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    1. The village is very proud of him

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    2. Thanks so much!

      I've lost count how long I've known John. He's a great friend.

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  29. There is so much to be said for village life John.
    I expeect bulldogs and faggots go together like peaches and cream.

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  30. Not sure I have ever had a faggot of either variety. I saw you hospice on TV - lovely story , stay safe

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    1. I didn't know we were on tv ! Do tell

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  31. Happy Birthday to Cameron.
    There is obviously more to Mr Hughes than meets the eye. Love his quick rejoinder.

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  32. Happy Birthday to Cameron!! I still remember that gorgeous, gorgeous photo he took of a sheep looking straight into the camera.

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    1. Irene has never looked better

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    2. Thanks Very much!

      She's quite a model!

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  33. :) Well he is right. It is the lock down that keeps us apart from who ever you desire.

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  34. Ha-ha! Good old Mr Hughes! Didn't they use a bunch of faggots to burn Joan of Arc?

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  35. Oh, the color of the English Language! But like you, I haven't had one of those in MONTHS!
    And Cameron is of age!

    XOXO

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  36. Hi it was about the goat merchandise being sold for the hospice funds worldwide. I missed it as going to work but saw trailer.

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    Replies
    1. Oh yes thanks to the bloggers here, the hospice changed its policy for international sales and has made a killing x

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  37. I haven't had a faggot since I left school. I did used to enjoy them with mash and peas though. Mr Hughes sounds quite a guy; those people who seem so aloof sometimes can surprise you, in his case it took a lock down to thaw him a little. Glad you enjoyed them.

    Jo in Auckland

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  38. I didn't know the third definition so a bundle of sticks didn't make sense to me.

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  39. HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAMERON! the whole world is open to you now!

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    1. Thankyou very much!

      This adulting thing is weird hahaha

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  40. I had never seen that usage of the word faggot, I remember some muttering faggot to me as and insult, I responded, thank you for noticing. Cameron looks good with his birthday present.

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    1. I wish it was my present hahaha.

      £1.8 million that'd cost :D

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  41. Hee hee hee! Thanks for the laugh John. That made my day.

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  42. This made me smile broadly. Good on Mr Hughes.

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  43. I knew the offensive use but not the other. That is a beautiful yellow car with the birthday guy.

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  44. I've never eaten them like that, but butcher-made faggots are delicious. It's finding them that's the tricky bit.

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  45. What fun banter back and forth you were both quick of the mark I'm always two steps behind, my husbands family are always ahead of me I always think later of what I could have said all in good fun.

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  46. Well would you look at that. I'm allowed to comment again - just in time for this fascinating conversation about faggots....

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  47. Bwhahaha!!

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  48. Good to know the word faggot is used a lot less these days - as well as various other abusive terms that were rife when I was younger.

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I love all comments Except abusive ones from arseholes