Saturday, 23 May 2020

I Say

This week I wanted to say this to someone I know

" You are a nice person
But you'll never be a kind one " 

but of course I didn't

In the great scheme of things .....
It's not important

But Inso need to say it !
Hey ho

  

31 comments:

  1. Niceness and kindness are inextricably linked for me. I cannot think that I would be able to consider someone nice unless they were also kind.

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    1. A kind person is always nice, but a nice person is not necessarily always kind.

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  2. Sometimes you simply have to tell people how it is you perceive them!

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  3. A. Bloke11:08 pm

    Do people not vary greatly depending on the situation and circumstances? I believe I have been nice, kind, unpleasant and unkind, although never all at the same time. Slapping on a simple label is rarely fair, perhaps? Then there is the fact that people can and do change, greatly. I know I have, and not often for the better. I also know people I get on badly with whom I would get on well with in different situations than the ones I meet them in, and vice versa.

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    1. A.Bloke, what a wonderfully balanced insight and view of humankind you offer.

      As you say, "Slapping on a simple label is rarely fair". It's what people do who see the world in the stark contrast of black and white, colour blind to the subtle nuances within all of us.

      U

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  4. Anonymous12:30 am

    Kindness takes a certain capacity for being able to be unselfish,and often also requires an ability to empathize.
    Those that aren't kind likely encountered a roadblock or problem in more fully developing from nice to kind.
    Pleasant as they may be, one learns not to expect more from them, simply accepting them as they are .
    In some way, though not always one others can see or understand, I think we're all broken and/or crippled to one degree or another.
    Looking back over my life I remember shortcomings,& doing things I didn't realize at the time were wrong. To not be upset by those memories it helps me to remember what I was going through then.

    Your not saying it,John, seems a wise decision. There's no point in causing hard feelings, just be grateful for your own ability to be both nice and kind. xx oo , -Mary

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  5. I get what you're saying but only because you explained it a day or two ago - you basically define nice as "polite", but define kind as "caring in action". I've always defined nice and kind as the same thing so they are interchangeable. I would say that politeness and kindness are completely different and that is how I interpreted your post today.

    It boils down to this: We know good people when we see them, and we know the other type too - they're not fooling anyone.

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  6. Sounds like the first part of that rebuke is intended to soften the harshness of the blow when it comes. I'm rather like you in preferring to back away from confrontation because of not wanting to give offence - although we know that you CAN dish it out. But ideally only the second bit needs to be delivered, which is easy enough to say when you're not one of the persons involved.

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  7. Being unkind is never nice, but perhaps there's an element of loving the sinner, not the sin?

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  8. I often encounter people in my work whom I dislike for what ever reason; but I have to stop and ask myself are you a support worker and therefore want to support people or are you a judgemental bitch who therefore doesn't for the wrong reason want to support people; I usually tuck my head under my arm and support those people whom I don't really like because the reality would be I am not a compassionate caring person but the aforementioned judgemental bitch! It is a struggle I have to say. In another life I possibly would have liked to be a nurse but realised as I got older that nursing is a vocation not a job and I hate weekend work, I hate night work and I need my space...all those things that a nurse might not like but foregoes as they are fantastic people... and I am not.

    Jo in Auckland

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  9. Even Adolf Hitler was capable of acts of kindness.

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  10. I often wonder why some people are how they are and why we instantly like some and not others?

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  11. Attribution. We often attribute unkind traits in others to their personalities. Unkind traits in ourselves we attribute to adverse circumstances.

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  12. I SO agree with you, John. There are plenty of 'nice' people in this world. But not too many 'kind' ones. Some think that these traits are one and the same.

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  13. I agree John - I think a lot of people interpret kindness almost as a weakness.

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  14. Now more than ever we are encouraged to be kind which can be a challenge if provoked !
    I have always told my children to look at the bigger picture when someone has perhaps annoyed us... They might have a lot going on in thir lives.... Or perhaps they really are not very nice 😂

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  15. I cannot be kind to bullies time and time again.I think I am nice but they want a reaction and I now refuse to in the way they would like x

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  16. Anonymous12:02 pm

    I think 'nice' can easily be faked as in some celebs, especially ditsy thin 'blonde' girls on tv and radio 2 these days as well, always with a cheery smile and a sympathetic ah!
    I remember Eammon (spelling?) Holmes calling Anthea Turner 'little miss tippy toes', sugary sweet type of person.
    Kind is more yer' no nonsense Debra Meaden, Chris Packham types who use deeds not words and neither come across as nice, athough they might well be nice they don't court this type of image.
    I know what type l prefer to have on my side!
    Tess xx

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    1. Kind can also be faked. Some people fake being kind in order to fake being nice; but sometimes they fake being kind on order to genuinely be nice. I think I have probably done both at various points in a long and complicated life. Also sometimes people lie to serve a greater truth, and sometimes they tell the truth as a means of sustaining a lie. But before telling people what you think about them it is often a good idea to first of all ponder what they may think about you. When I do that I generally decide it is best just to keep my mouth shut, like John did (so far...).

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  17. Nice does not always mean kind. I worked as a nurse for 37 years and discovered this very early on.
    Although kind usually means nice, most of the times.

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  18. Still better than someone who is rude, or cruel, or nasty.

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  19. My husband would describe me as "kind", but has suggested " tries to help". I don't think it is a compliment, coming from him!

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  20. 1) Close mouth.
    2) Think twice.
    3) Repeat.
    4) Then if you still want to say it, let 'er rip!

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  21. "Nice" is likely the weakest word in the current English vocabulary.

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  22. That's what blogs are for!

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  23. Do you really mean that a nice person isn't necessarily kind, or merely that a 'naice' person--someone genteel and mannerly who uses "nice" a lot--isn't necessarily a kind person?

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  24. John, there are many people who have not yet awakened. So be kind.

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  25. "In the great scheme of things .....
    It's not important
    But I so need to say it!"

    You said it. We may not need to say it to the person involved, but there's something in us that needs to be heard. At least, that's why *I* journal. -Kate

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  26. Nice people get you through the day but kind people are the ones who will be there at a moments notice if you need help or the ones you can share secrets with.

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