Saturday, 16 May 2020

Meeting Billy

How's everyone doing ?
I ask that because , after a bit of a straw poll at work, it seems commonplace for everyone to be more emotionally labile now than they were before the lockdown.
Does everyone feel this way?
Well I think they do
Yesterday evening was a case in point
I had just got out of my car at work when a huge wild Billy goat suddenly appeared next to me.
We looked at each other for the longest of times and he remained unmoving and unafraid when I reached into my pocket for my camera in order to photograph him.
I chatted to him and reached out a hand ( which he studiously ignored even though it was literally an inch from his face) but he still held my gaze (something wild creatures are so unable to do ) until it was me that was ready to go
The encounter moved me greatly

The ringing of the Church Beall on Thursday night brought out a plethora of emotional comments on the village what's app and Facebook groups. Many of the villagers who had probably never even stepped inside the Church were moved to tears by the tolling of its bell and I thought then, that significant weight had changed to the more simple of events, that would not have held any emotional importance when not in lockdown.

There is no real getting away from it
We all have been truly affected by the events of the past two months
And we have been affected so much more than we care or choose to admit

Am I right?
Or is this the rambling of a middle aged old drama Queen
Stuck on overtime night shifts
How I envision myself ringing the bell next week!! 

74 comments:

  1. Oh yes. Little things become huge. Big things become huger. Today 3 things broke in the house in the space of an hour (nothing disastrous) and I almost lost it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have found myself to be much more on edge now our lock down has been stepped down a level. I am on the lookout for people invading my personal space when in a bit more of a hurry, I am more aware of hand hygiene almost bordering on obsession; something I need to be mindful of as I can get very obsessed with things. I was appalled; after weeks of very diminished traffic on the road, how busy the roads were again. It's like it's a free for all again. But I did notice when people were walking there was a lot more mindfulness about avoiding others, but again still others mainly the younger people a bit more inclined to not really give much thought to avoiding people.

    Jo in Auckland

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am getting irritated by unthinking characters that invade my space

      Delete
  3. I think it is true. I am certainly more weepy than I have been since the years after my husband died. It isn't a wild grief, but rather strange things make me cry. I do not think it is unusual. It is a strange sort of stress we are experiencing. I am not terribly afraid that I will die and my life has not changed that much, but I worry for my children and grandchildren and the whole world, really.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's a welling up
      That's what was the consensus from work

      Delete
  4. Yes, I quite easily cry at the extraordinary people who are working to save lives through this crisis. Watching 'Hospital' on the television, the doctors in tears, the patients coming to terms with death, I am overcome by the sheer beauty and courage of people.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Fortunately, I've hardly been affected at all by current 'events' - only covering my lower face for when I do the twice-weekly shopping (all that cat food for four pussycats is too weighty for just once-a-week). Other than that don't go out at all. Also, having friendless with no social circle, and with just three surviving siblings, all living hundreds of miles away and who likewise haven't been affected, I'm one of the minority lucky ones who can just sit back and spectate at the grim happenings rather than be personally involved - merely having to be extra-careful for myself.

    And......yes, ring dem bells by all means - but will you get into the habit?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I so want to he Deborah Kerr raymondo but alas I was always destined to be flora robson

      Delete
    2. Class acts both, though I wasn't old enough to see the Lady Macbeth in any format for which the latter was famed [amongst other roles]. But yes, you could be a shoo-in for Anna Leonowens - singing, as per ISIHAC, "Whenever I feel a ......., I hold my .......erect, and whistle a happy tune, so no one will suspect I'm a ........."

      Delete
  6. Another notch on your resume … goat whisperer.

    ReplyDelete
  7. No, I'm sure you're right. People are changing, and allowing their emotions to come out; even the wildlife is becoming friendlier. I've had a Hedgehog wandering around in full daytime!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perhaps cro is right
      We are allowing ourselves to be cathartic

      Delete
    2. Anonymous11:04 am

      A hedgehog wandering about in daylight is a sick hoggie. Please check it for ticks, feed it cat food. If vet is open maybe they can check it over. Carla.

      Delete
  8. I think, being in the older category, it is not so hard. Once retired, we have become used to finding things to do and occupying our time.many of us don’t have a mortgage or a job to worry about. Obviously we are missing our children, grandchildren and friends but, we are all so lucky to have modern technology to keep in touch and ‘see ‘ each other. This virus is here and we have to make the best of it I guess. XXXX

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I always worry about my mortgage

      Delete
    2. I agree, being debt free in retirement is the best.Mostly stress free, content and being creative, while living simply.

      Delete
  9. do be careful around billygoat. he may resent you in his personal space.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Definitely. I’m not a crier, never have been yet I have spent the last week a soggy mess. The slightest thing sets me off. It’s bloody draining lol.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I think my partner is suffering COVID depression. He is angry with the world and everyone, including me. I know it will pass but he not pleasant to live with at the moment. I feel a bit bored. I really want to get out and about and not drive everywhere.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I'm the opposite at the moment. I'm not trying to be brave or anything. I know I'm bottling up my emotions (still haven't cried over losing my dad) I fully expect it will all come out at some point and I'll be a big ugly mess again!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hi John, I remember 40 years ago, hearing that in Russia ,they had started ringing the church bells again. It had been found that people within the sound of the bells, gained certain health benefits both physically and mentally. Sound and singing tunes and helps rebalance us. Becoming sound in body and mind?
    I think our collective emotions are surfacing and joining, creating a very powerful force that needs directing for a positive purpose.
    Stay strong John xxxx
    Kathy

    ReplyDelete
  14. I'm always emotional. No change.

    ReplyDelete
  15. My self-isolating 88 year old father told me he loved me the other day! The first time in my 59 years! I felt VERY uncomfortable but it must have been a huge deal to him. People are definitely changing.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Anonymous9:45 am

    Cor yes, l know what you mean.
    Last night on Gardeners World there was a little 6 year old girl.
    She has potted up some plants and is giving them away to passers by (under supervision l believe) to cheer folk up
    Well l was in floods at this!
    I also long to hear the local Church Bells ringing to signify all is well again.
    Let us hope it is soon.
    That goat is gorge, l want one!
    Tess xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The little girl was an absolute delight! What a lovely thing for her to do. I was almost in tears about Nigel the dog dying.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous2:02 pm

      Oh didn't know about Nigel, had fallen asleep by then.
      Def would have been more tears then T x

      Delete
  17. Yes I am more emotional and anxious now.

    Facebook feeds showing pictures of unbearable cruelty to animals make me cry.

    As it gets busier now, I feel that at some stage I'm going to yell at someone to keep their distance !

    ReplyDelete
  18. Well hello there! ๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿป I'm doin' well, thanks for asking. You mentioned drama queens... Aren't we all that?

    At least a little. Some, then again, much more than others! ๐Ÿ™„ And it's perfectly fine IMO! ๐ŸคŽ๐Ÿงก

    ReplyDelete
  19. They may be the ramblings of a middle aged [old] drama queen stuck on overtime night shifts, but they ring true. Our favorite Italian restaurant opened yesterday for take-away and delivery. I picked up a couple pizzas last night and visited with one of the owners -- two brothers in their 30s who own two large, exceptional restaurants on the Paseo. It was heartbreaking. He was a pleasure to talk to, but the stress was apparent on his face. I don't know anyone who's not feeling anxious, worried, depressed, exhausted. Trying times.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Joan (Devon)10:38 am

    Nothing much has changed for me, so I don't feel any differently than I did before the virus. If I had to go out to get the shopping etc it might be a different tale.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Nothing will be the same, that's for sure. I think that goat is Satan.

    ReplyDelete
  22. I feel more anxious these days I suppose. The gift shop where I am a volunteer is going to reopen soon and, although I have said I will still help out, I am quite apprehensive about it. Don't want to let them down. Same with the local Hospice. I am a little uncertain about returning there to volunteer too.
    I like your goat x

    ReplyDelete
  23. John, what you say rings true. I'm certainly far more easily moved to tears. Luckily the cats don't mind, as long as I feed them.

    ReplyDelete
  24. That Billy has a rather sad smile on his face and I think he probably needed that few minutes with you.
    Yes John, I too am more easily moved to tears.

    ReplyDelete
  25. For a moment I thought you had made up the term "labile" so I googled it and now I apologise for doubting you. Strangely, it is not a word I have ever come across before.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Oh that billy goat is sooooo beautiful!! Definitely, I work in the NHS although not frontline and every time I hear a patient has recovered from COVID and is clapped from the ward I cry my eyes out! Although this is such a horrendous time I've truly seen some beautiful human behaviour xx

    ReplyDelete
  27. Heather11:35 am

    Like others,random things make me feel tearful. I think during lockdown I have become more patient. Still not keen on going to the supermarket or anywhere with crowds of people but it was wonderful yesterday to just take a drive through the local villages and not feel guilty. I worry about our eldest son and eldest granddaughter who both work for a major tour operator, whether they will still have jobs. We are so thankfully for our greenhouse at home and our allotment plot. I am not sure whether life as we knew it will ever be the same again. Take care John x

    ReplyDelete
  28. Billy looks like a wise old soul.

    ReplyDelete
  29. I have noticed that in the last couple of months I am more aware of everything around me. Especially all the outdoor creatures. I see them more beautifully now.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Anonymous12:14 pm

    When you ring the bell please stand further back from the edge! Do you have some Druids robes or will you be wearing your fancy dress snowman outfit?!
    Hugs

    ReplyDelete
  31. SANCTUARY! do you have a moveable hump like igor in "young frankenstein"?

    the past 2 months have not affected me that much. I DO miss my co-workers (except for one PITA) and not being at my physical office. I know that what I've endured for the past 2 months has kept me safe from a horrible disease. and hell, if I survived cancer, I can survive ANYTHING. I am strong, I am invincible, I AM WOMAN!

    ReplyDelete
  32. John, RING those bells like no other has ever done!

    ReplyDelete
  33. I have taken steps to find balance. I stopped listening to the news, cut back on checking news sites. I can be hard to read, but emotions are close to the surface. Unfriended a couple of people on FB, put others on 30 day silence. Anger, tears, laughter are all more likely to be triggered. There have been a couple-three complications in the office, that we have not been there to work through - don't know when we will be there.

    ReplyDelete
  34. We are doing the same as travel, limiting news coverage, just buying the paper once a week.
    It isn't easy, we are making sure that we do some jobs on our own as well as working together..too easy to find fault and take offence more than usual.
    Billy? He is showing that we are equals on this earth

    ReplyDelete
  35. Yes, definitely more emotional. As things start to very slowly open up here, it's like a carrot being dangled in front of you that you can't have. We watched Forest Gump the other night and daughter and I were an absolute mess at the end.
    When you write about ringing the church bell, and after seeing the picture of the church, all I can do is imagine you in a Midsomer Murder episode. -Jenn

    ReplyDelete
  36. For about 5 weeks I was only sleeping 5 hours a night and waking up super early. Now it is the opposite and I am super tired and sleeping in.

    Was able to finally go out to a cafe for lunch today and to a couple of shops ut felt super weird though. Other people are just annoying.

    ReplyDelete
  37. I was petting my dogs the other day, telling them what beautiful girls they are, and suddenly I was sobbing. Surprised the hell out of me.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Lost my cat companion of 15 years Thursday. Told him it was a bad time to die but he didn’t listen. Today scrubbing cat buggers off wall and crying. Sucks!!
    Patty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aw Patty I’m so sorry. I lost my 15 year old cat on Monday, I feel your pain x

      Delete
  39. maybe that goat has heard about bosoms.

    ReplyDelete
  40. I would swear that goat has a smile on its face! Great photograph. You should print that one up and frame it as your Covid memory picture! x

    ReplyDelete
  41. I think we are all on the precipice of tears or tantrums half the time at the moment. Well I am ... you rambling middle-aged old drama queen you.

    I love your billy goat, it looks like he's trying to tell you something!!

    ReplyDelete
  42. Wow wow wow...nature eye to eye!

    That last photo is riveting.

    ReplyDelete
  43. As someone with an emotional disposition anyway now I am unapologetically so.I am determined to enjoy life and my feelings are magnified.I believe the Goat wants us to be honest with ourselves and that's why he has visited x

    ReplyDelete
  44. I've noticed a lot more birds, but being in Los Angeles proper, not much wildlife and certainly nothing as spectacular as a goat! I find myself crying silently far more often these days. xox

    ReplyDelete
  45. Mr Billy Goat looks like a jolly sort!

    ReplyDelete
  46. Barbara Anne6:27 pm

    I wonder if Mr. Billy Goat could smell Albert and the dogs on your clothes so he knew you are an animal person and wouldn't harm him? Amazing photo and definitely frame-worthy.

    Is there a rota for folks who want their turn at ringing the church bell?

    Tears seem much closer to the surface these days.

    Hugs!

    ReplyDelete
  47. I have spoken with several people this week who are feeling they are ready to burst out emotionally. There are so many cancellations of events that we look forward to during the summer, that it feels like there is nothing to look forward to. Billy gave me a good feeling today!

    ReplyDelete
  48. Having been going through the menapause for the last 6 years I can usually cry or at least get upset for the slightest reasons. And still can during the lockdown. I do feel more anxious that's for sure. I feel people are more aware of our fragility of life and don't think any of us will come through this unchanged. Take care John x

    ReplyDelete
  49. Black Narcissus, a wonderfully disturbing film. (And I can't believe a goat stared you down,tsk, tsk...)

    ReplyDelete
  50. Love the goat ... he kind of looks like he's about to ask you "What's up?"
    I am old, retired, and I have been a sob story since I can't remember when! I cry at the drop of a hat and sometimes I drop the damned hat! All I have to do is see someone who looks like they are going to start in; or I just have to read about someone crying and I start in! It's downright disgusting and I can't blame it on anything other then that's just how I am! A sob story!
    So ... the lockdown hasn't really affected me one way or thee other ... just another day in my life!

    ReplyDelete
  51. Definitely more on edge and emotional here - both husband and I. It comes out in different ways for each of us but it's there. I find I can't face a lot of what's in the news, virus-related or not, because it makes me teary. I've also misplaced what usually passes for patience. Husband prefers his stress to be logical, and fumes at the lack of thinking going on by the heads of government. We're both trying to choose neutral topics at mealtime because not doing so has led to bruised feelings. It doesn't help that I'm working longer hours and having to spend more time meeting my mother's needs, both directly resulting from the pandemic. Gah!

    ReplyDelete
  52. Working hard to notice and remember all the positives, but much more aware of the rapid changes within every day. I listened to latest film put up by The Sixteen choir on Youtube and cried just for the beauty of the music. Arilx

    ReplyDelete
  53. It's been a life changing six months here.

    ReplyDelete
  54. I think everyone is feeling out of sorts, anxious, somewhat depressed. It's been hard.

    ReplyDelete
  55. That's how I see you ringing the church bell.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. With my tropical habit a flappin in the wind

      Delete
    2. As long as it's not a floppin John x

      Delete
  56. I keep telling myself I have a lot to be thankful for but haven't had a good nights sleep since I don't know when, sleep 2 hours and get up for 3 hours and that seems to be a rotation I tell myself I have to sleep and wonder how I manage to get through the day and do the usual chores, strange times and so many sad stories, stay well every one.

    ReplyDelete
  57. HOW I GOT CURED FROM HIV BY DR PADMAN.

    Greetings to everyone,i want to use this medium to thank the great spell caster called Dr Padman who helped to restored my relationship back to me,it happened that my ex lover decided to break up with me without any reason,saying that he don't love me anymore,this started to happen when my ex lover started keeping late night,and coming home late,i pleaded to him for several months but he refused to listen to my apology,so one faithful day i was browsing through the internet and i suddenly came across several testimonies of how Dr Padman helped so many people in bringing back their ex lover,so without wasting much time i contacted his https://padmanspell.com he told me that i shouldn't worry anymore that he must return back to me after he has cast a love spell for me that he will surely run back to me,i didn't doubt his words i obeyed his instruction and indeed after 24 hours my ex lover rush back to me and everything went back as it was in the beginning contact him today on his padmanlovespell@yahoo.com , https://twitter.com/padman_dr. https://padmanspell.com WhatsApp +19492293867

    ReplyDelete

I love all comments Except abusive ones from arseholes