Pottering

Yesterday I planted out deep red geraniums in pots, Spanish style,on  the kitchen wall
The winds increased to gales this morning and I found all of the pots hidden safely in the shelter of the front garden stone wall, saved by a kind passerby.
I was going to use the word nice here rather than kind to describe the Good Samaritan but in my considered opinion  many nice people are not kind.
Kindness is an action
Painfully nice people just use words
I made avacado on sour bread toast with eggs for brunch
Sorted out cupboards and drawers
I took Dorothy and Mary for a walk out of the village to the East, past Chic Eleanor's. Large White washed home
By chance she saw me passing and invited me onto the patio with a swirl of her scarf in the wind
" Darling John, do have a socially distant double shot coffee and we 'll brave the storm together!!"
I sat on her windswept patio as she made coffee from scratch
"Forgive me, I look a right sight!" Eleanor gasped " I have my lockdown tat on" 
This made me laugh as Eleanor would look good wearing a bin bag
We chatted for a while before the dogs got bored and needed to move on

I made chicken salad for lunch and prepared chicken noodles for my lunch tomorrow at work.
For the first couple of months of lockdown the Hospice kindly made all of their staff a free lunch, which was incredibly kind. Now, realistically that kindness cannot be sustained so it's back to preparing my own.....
Not a bad thing

This afternoon I'm making a hat with a sign on it
The sign reads Happy Birthday Chris written backwards
I'm attending a Zoom family quiz and it's my nephew's birthday !

I ve just popped into Church to leave my donation for bell ringing , I re positioned a painted stone I found on my wall yesterday...it's a pass it forward good wishes stone left by a local child and videod the laburnam , which shines golden in the sun.

 Affable despot Jason has added to his huge collection of morale boosting videos on the Street  warden's social group...I'm watching them now as I juggle writing this and making soup

The Bells The Bells

Well I must say Deborah Kerr in Black Narcissus made pulling the fuck out of the Great bell on the side of the Himalayas look like a piece of cake.
Hattie and My efforts were all a bit shaky compared to that nun in a heavy habit
As you can see
Great fun !!!!!
One less thing on my bucket list

Shut Up And Dance With Me

I was tired and emotional yesterday

Today's glorious sun has taken over from my aggressive tendencies and after a long sleep in after getting up too early

My mood has lifted.

It's 7pm and the cottage windows are wide open to the near summer conditions 

Mary is out with Hattie and her boyfriend Adam

Hattie and I will be ringing the Church bell tomorrow at 8pm

The bulldogs are down at Trendy Carol's, respite which allowed me to clean the floors and scrub the patio. 

Trendy Carol is wearing her summer linen.

We have our old , more cheerful postman back....he left me my ordered Korean disaster movies and an early birthday card from Marilyn ....thank you! My birthday is not until June 1st 

Yes , I'm a Gemini 

A week or so ago I posted a wonderful dance video from classic Hollywood movies. Today I will leave you with this more modern day version.

It's a triumph of editing ....

Enjoy

It is pure joy 

Bunfight

My old blog friend Mike (Should Fish More), didnt know what a Bunfight was yesterday.
Perhaps it is more a British word than an American one.
It can mean one of two things
A grand , official tea party.....
Or a heated argument.
If I write bunfight, invariably I mean the latter

I've been overdue for a heated argument for a while
One has been simmering in my post decree absolute psychi for a long time now
I've known that for a while now,
I know myself very well.

This morning I was called a fat prick by a skinny, ratty looking man in a sports t shirt .
He had obvious shortness of bone, a shopping trolley full of cheap lager and two badly behaved children who were doing their own thing near the avacados

After trying to negotiate the brats for a while, unsuccessfully I may add, I remarked quietly  to the man to "take control of his children !"
Obviously the rebuke hit home and the man kicked off

A bunfight ensued.

Now I know rebuking another guys kids in front of him never really ends well,
But my blood was up ( as was my blood pressure) and transference needed a way forward

Well, I must thank the young lady who joined in the " debate" after the young ratty man referred to me as a FAT PRICK !!
She reminded the man that it was still dangerous to let kids wander ad hoc and given that covid rates are rising in North Wales
Ratty man told her to "fuck off too!!!"

This  was no arguement that could be won by my usual resort of " Cheap Shoes!!!" As ratty man was wearing very expensive looking trainers
And so  in my best Joyce Grenfell voice I countered with
" I may be a fat prick but you are a fucking ignorant arsehole !" 

On reflection
A double edged sword that reply lol .........

I'll Get This

I almost missed choir " Zoom"
I fell asleep dribbling in my arm chair at 5pm
Choir was 6.30 pm and we sang a Welsh lullaby which was sweet, but I'm too tired to catch up with friends for a proper chat...I wouldn't give it justice
I will do all that tomorrow

Tonight I've had several gin and tonics and with Mary balanced in the crook of my arm have watched Gogglebox and I'll Get This
Two brilliant tv shows
Cro in his blog today talked about alcohol and the lockdown ......and boy did that bring out a bunfight out of nowhere

Bed soon, in clean, field scented sheets
Stretched taught like when you were a child
I needed to be home tonight

Pentaglottis and Cow Parsley

I washed my bedding when I got home after my last night shift and as usual hung it on the field gate to dry when I went to bed.
It tells people I am home
It's a lovely day, bright, warm and full of birdsong.
I took advantage of the fact that the council workmen have not cleared the grass in the Churchyard and cut myself a large bunch of the blue Pentaglossis which I have coupled up with Cow Parsley from the lane in a spare jug for the kitchen table.
It feels so good to be free of work for a few days

Your Atticus Finch Moment ?

We would all like to to think that we grew up in a Town called
Maycomb Alabama

Obviously the backdrop of the Great Depression and of racism are not subjects to be trivialised
Here , but the thought of growing up with a parent with the stature of Atticus Finch is perhaps every child's ( and indeed Adult's dream) when they survey their childhood with rose tinted or tired eyes

My parents were too wrapped up in their own issues to really be bothered with the moral dilemmas in side their kids' heads.
Having said this I do remember one Atticus moment amid a brown 1970s childhood.
I had gone to bed , but had got up to listen to a family discussion from the safety of the top of the stairs. The discussion was centred around someone known to the family who had been caught in a gay clinch so to speak and it is important to remember here that in the 1970s, this sort of thing was deemed rather shocking to say the least.
Amid the head shaking and the " shame" comments one voice proved to be the voice of reason and balance and that was the voice of my mother.
Like Henry Fonda's juror number 8, in Twelve Angry Men , she calmly stuck up for the person involved, patiently giving a human face to the whole situation and pouring oil on a very stormy sea.

Even at twelve , I remember being rather proud of her individual stand against a tide of small mindedness...and even at twelve I knew that she was right and they were wrong.

What was your Atticus Finch moment?

I'd be interested to Know!

Sunday

I'm on my break at work and I've been a bit naughty

Already tonight I have bought some Clinique Happy fragrance on line and followed up that extravagance by buying two Korean disaster movies on DVD 

I'm just one mad crazy bitch

I will leave you with this little video, which is charming as it is funny

Meeting Billy

How's everyone doing ?
I ask that because , after a bit of a straw poll at work, it seems commonplace for everyone to be more emotionally labile now than they were before the lockdown.
Does everyone feel this way?
Well I think they do
Yesterday evening was a case in point
I had just got out of my car at work when a huge wild Billy goat suddenly appeared next to me.
We looked at each other for the longest of times and he remained unmoving and unafraid when I reached into my pocket for my camera in order to photograph him.
I chatted to him and reached out a hand ( which he studiously ignored even though it was literally an inch from his face) but he still held my gaze (something wild creatures are so unable to do ) until it was me that was ready to go
The encounter moved me greatly

The ringing of the Church Beall on Thursday night brought out a plethora of emotional comments on the village what's app and Facebook groups. Many of the villagers who had probably never even stepped inside the Church were moved to tears by the tolling of its bell and I thought then, that significant weight had changed to the more simple of events, that would not have held any emotional importance when not in lockdown.

There is no real getting away from it
We all have been truly affected by the events of the past two months
And we have been affected so much more than we care or choose to admit

Am I right?
Or is this the rambling of a middle aged old drama Queen
Stuck on overtime night shifts

How I envision myself ringing the bell next week!! 

The Royal Ballet

The Royal Opera House House is tonight streaming for free their latest ballet Anastasia 
You can catch it on their Facebook and YouTube channels and kick off for the debut is 7 pm tonight.

I'm working later but I will be sure to watch the production some time next week.
The Royal Ballet holds a special place in my heart, and it's been over a year since I last went
Oh to be sipping a gin and tonic in the conservatory bar again

Some days are better than others

It's been a nice 24 hours
Lockdown can be nice
If you're lucky.
The roses are a gift from my elder sister. Their fragrance is wonderful and already is filling the cottage like a warm hand. She and my brother in law chatted over the garden wall in the sun.
No real news, just checking in .....
Without the tv last night , I caught up with some Sheffield friends

I'll watch the Great British Sewing Bee tonight
I hope Mark and Claire were not booted out
There was a funeral here in the village this morning.

A lady from Bron Haul who had been poorly a long time.
She kept cats which surrounded her bungalow like confetti
One of her floral tributes was black cat.....I liked that.

Village Elder Islwyn had cut open the grave very neatly before the gravedigger arrived and we chatted for a while before I bumped into the vicar by the lytchgate.
I like the new vicar
He is bright and friendly and his smile is genuine

He said he was happy for me to ring the bell on a Thursday night once it is hopefully fixed

His white surplus glowed in the spring sunshine as he stood waiting for the funeral cars to turn up.

Hattie left me a couple of chocolate brownies on the kitchen wall this morning too and I ate them as I planted out animal Helper Pat's bedding plants into containers and baskets.
The concrete square behind the kitchen wall looks softer and greener than it did

I bought and fixed up a new tv, chatted to Blog Rachel on what's app and lit the fire before 6 pm
It's cold out of the sun

And finally! And most wonderfully
Thanks to tim and Ian

Ping Pong

Dorothy pretending to be invisible in the garden

Bulldogs are like toddlers
They run against walls without braking
And have no off button!

I love them dearly , but they can drive a girl to total distraction!!!!

Yesterday afternoon the devil caught Winifred in youthfull mode .....
She and Dorothy became quite  giddy with themselves after being given a handful of cocktail
sausages each as a treat and both decided to give Albert a run for  his money as he ambled rather suavely through the cottage for a sleep  after a morning slaughtering baby rabbits on the field .

The resulting chase had bulldogs bouncing off every wall and it was only after a deafening crash when things went incredibly quiet and I ran in with eyes like ping pong balls !!!

The bulldogs had smashed the tv and they both knew they were in trouble
I had ear marked my overtime of this week to play for Winnie's vet bills
And instantly I realised I now had to use it to pay for a new 15 inch tv.
So when I walked in both Dorothy and Winnie ran for the kitchen reading chair where they were banished to for the rest of the evening!!!
And there they stayed, grunting and groaning their apologies
I may forgive them fairly soon
But it won't hurt leaving absolution for a few more hours

Keep the bitches on their toes

6 Pairs Of Underpants

Hey Siri what day is it today?
Siri never answered, she's too depressed.
I've cleaned out drawers and cupboards this morning and I've thrown away
A bin bag of out if date cooking stuff, old magazines, tons of old clothes, and six pairs of underpants with holes in the gussets!
Victoria Wood would have cut them down for pan scrubs
Every gusset a memory!!!

Animal Helper Pat , has been busy in her greenhouse and a 20£ Donation to Christian Aid has bought me a load of bedding plants for the garden.
They arrived today and filled the top of the  kitchen wall ready for watering.

The bulldogs mooched in the garden as I worked
Apart from a few phone calls and later Zoom meets with friends.
It's a slow day.
I've agreed to overtime on Friday, it will pay for Winnie's recent vet bills

Ise Oluwa

Choir tonight..........I needed some healing time, something I knew yesterday when
I messaged Jamie ( and his 1940s RAF moustache) to request we sing Ise Oluwa tonight

Ise Oluwa is an African prayer for water, and it was one of the first songs I learnt in Choir.
Sung  slightly quicker than the above example, I remember our choir wrestling somewhat with the harmony on a winter's night in the village hall.
Jamie, in a fit of insight, told us to sing one last time and as we did so, he turned off the lights so we sang in complete darkness.
Without the restraints of looking at each other, and in the stillness and the dark,
I remember the choir rose to the occasion
And with a great deal of tears in a great number of eyes

We performed the song quite beautifully 

Damm Covid

Damm Covid
Damm you for having us to make rules to keep everyone safe
Damm you for stopping a potentially covid infected family from seeing their loved one
Damm you for forcing what may be a final " goodbye" on a mobile phone
My mobile phone
One I was honoured to hold .

The Ringing Of The Bell

A quick post today. I need to go back to bed very soon.
My last night is tonight, and I was awoken by Winnie having a tantrum around 2pm
She was booting cushions around the living room with the force of Beckham's right foot.
She knows, when I am on nights she gets to play at Trendy Carol's for much of the afternoon.

On my way back to the cottage, I suddenly noticed that scaffolding had been erected around the tiny bell tower of the Church.
Work on the Church Bell has begun and I felt a prickle of emotion looking at it.

I know it doesn't sound that vital
But the prospect of having the bell ringing again has suddenly become rather important to me
Does that sound a daft thing to say?

Rising Bosoms

I'm on my coffee break, my patients are sleeping and the wind is blowing hard around the hospice eves.
It's Sunday night and for the first time I'm missing The Archers...enough of those old episode repeats!
The Velvet Voiced Linda has messaged all of the wardens in the village and we have all answered promptly with an " all is well" message
I commented that it all sounded like the end of The Waltons 
Linda replied with a pithy " Goodnight John Boy!"

I saw Trendy Carol earlier ( in a very figure hugging leopard print ensemble ) she had hijacked Mary for an afternoon cuddle...a lot of village people seem to be doing that recently.
Apart from her I have seen no one until I got to work.
My colleagues all seemed somewhat confused with Boris' new Stay Alert Message
The Welsh health minister made things clearer and more unambiguous....our message is generally Stay At Home.
The ponies have left my field now, which is a shame but the weeds and nettles have gone leaving the allotment areas free to be dug over again
" Bosoms " are on the rise again
Which is nice.

I bought the above poster for my bedroom

The View From Work

I nearly broadsided one of the wild goats of Llandudno when I got into work this evening
He was a magnificent fellow who gave me the Dead Eye as I drove into the hospice car park.
We are situated a stones through from West Shore and its magnificent views at sunset

The Church Laburnam

I couldn't engage with anything yesterday.
The VE celebrations left me cold and unmoved and instead of chasing up friends  which seems to be a daily occurance in these lockdown times,
I busied myself with mundane action move clips organised from Asian websites and the odd tiktok video of attractive but indulgent young men dancing to camera.
Things that underline the new lockdown norm.

I feel as though there is a change in the air !
Does anyone else feel this way?
My friend Nigel perhaps has underlined the restlessness I feel by explaining my last two years  in his usual understated way
" You got through it rather all rather unscathed in my opinion......I'm proud of you"

Time to plan ahead and anew ...that was the subtext of his comment ......and he is right
All of last year I coped with a series of new stressors, a new job, new responsibilities, financial ups and downs and finally a fucking emotional backward step regression revisited by a degree Absolute I thought Would never come 

Now I feel that lockdown has given me a chance to take stock and get straight.
Financially now I almost have my head if not above water at least into the shallow end of the pool and over the past few weeks I'm making a whole series of plans for myself , albeit lockdown confined plans, to move forward in this strange new world.

The travel book I bought a few months ago on the city of Venice lies open and read on the top of my book shelf as a constant reminder of future things new and hopeful.

I have my constants now
I have my dogs and my family and my friends and my job and my village position
The Cemetary laburnam has started to flower just this morning , like it does every year,
And this morning I photographed it yet again with a renewed sense of time and place that doesn't need to be stuck in the routine and the tried and tested.

The lockdown means that change isn't immediate
But like all change , it's the mindset that is the most important and when things are lifted and normality creeps back into our lives.
Instead of waiting for things to happen

I will be ready for them

Enjoy