Damm Covid
Damm you for having us to make rules to keep everyone safe
Damm you for stopping a potentially covid infected family from seeing their loved one
Damm you for forcing what may be a final " goodbye" on a mobile phone
My mobile phone
One I was honoured to hold .
Damm you for having us to make rules to keep everyone safe
Damm you for stopping a potentially covid infected family from seeing their loved one
Damm you for forcing what may be a final " goodbye" on a mobile phone
My mobile phone
One I was honoured to hold .
Damn is right!
ReplyDeleteNo words, just deep sadness.
ReplyDeleteand from me.
Deleteand from me xx
Deletefrom me, also.
DeleteYes, damn covid. It's one of the worst things about this, making death so lonely. Nurses become even more important because of it, as they are often the only ones that can be there when someone passes away.
ReplyDeleteDamn Covid!
ReplyDeleteWe lost a dear friend to cancer today. Our hearts are aching mostly because we can't be close to support his wife and children.
ReplyDeleteOh dear, this wretched virus affects us all after a while. I fear no-one will remain untouched.
ReplyDeleteA friend lost her husband during this crisis. He was unwell for quite some time but she said the hardest thing was not being allowed to go to hospital to say goodbye. They were married 60 years. And then they could only have his daughters and her at the funeral; they are a large family and others live in Australia.
ReplyDeleteDamn Covid indeed!
Jo in Auckland
Jo, my best friend's father died a few weeks ago, aged 90, at home and from natural causes. She and her mother are so grateful that he never had to go into hospital, where they wouldn't have been allowed to visit, and he would have died alone. For John's patient to say goodbye on a phone seems cruel indeed.
DeleteI know that people in hospitals are dying alone now, or at least, without their family and friends around them. But, my MIL aged 93, died in Southampton Gemeral of natural causes in the middle of April and my husband, daughter and my husband's niece were able to be with her at the end. Ten people were allowed at the funeral. Rules and regulations don't seem consistant do they? Yes, dam Covid-19.
DeleteWe all need that proper goodbye
DeleteThis is what bothers me the most. No one should have to die without their loved ones.
ReplyDeleteOur hospice allows 2 people in at the end of life time. Unfortunately this family were themselves in lockdown
DeleteSadness... this virus hurts our hearts and souls as well as our bodies.
ReplyDeleteToo many tragic deaths, the hardest thing to come to terms with must be that they probably don't know how they became infected?
ReplyDeleteThank heavens for the compassion of nurses like you John, although having to step into the breach day after day must be agony for your soul.
ReplyDeleteNo it isn't
DeleteIt was sad and heartbreaking but also it fires you up to make that last bit of Care the best we can make it
Spoken like the true professional that you are John... I salute you.
DeleteJo in Auckland
Indeed, buddy. ✔
ReplyDeleteCompletely agree with you! 💯
Damn Covid. This is what I think of and why I get so angry when I see so many flouting the rules and pushing the boundaries.
ReplyDeleteIndeed.
ReplyDeleteMy dad died 4 weeks ago (non Covid related). My mum had to put him in an ambulance and never saw him again. None of us got to see him before he passed and none of us could see his body. 8 people were allowed at his funeral. Damn Covid indeed. STAY AT HOME!
ReplyDeleteSo sorry, Ali. If you read what I said to Jo, the ambulance did go to my friend's father, but by the time they had suited up in all their gear, he had passed away. Whether they could have saved him if there hadn't been that delay, they will never know. It's having such an impact on non-Covid patients.
DeleteThanks. I've heard a few terrible stories like that one. Dad was in hospital for 2 days, alone. When he died a nurse angel was by his side and held his hand. I have no idea how nurses can do what they do day in day out. They deserve all our love and respect and should have their salaries doubled!
DeleteAli , we are trained to do a job and I hope most of us can do it well.
DeleteDamn damn damn Covid. My friend has finally been able to arrange her mother's funeral. The family members allowed to go will have to stand apart, not hug each other and not get together afterwards.
ReplyDeleteLonely funerals are the worst admittedly
DeleteJust so sad and so much loneliness.
ReplyDeleteDifficult for too many people all over the world!
ReplyDeleteSo very sad. This pandemic has deprived so many people of accompanying their loved ones in their last minutes.
ReplyDeleteThis is something that people who think COVID-19 is not a threat are condemning the rest of us to.
So sad.
XOXO
In much the same boat. A treasured friend is in the last stages of life and I can’t be there to give hugs and support to the family. Let’s share a big hug across the ether.xxx
ReplyDeleteCan you FaceTime ?
DeleteWish I could but I am a complete technophobe but be assured my hug sent to you is heartfelt. 😘
DeleteI do share your sentiment. However, it's hardly as if you can (con)dem a virus. Or any bodily function. The virus does what a virus does. But, unlike humans, the virus doesn't do it consciously, in order to harm.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, and I can't begin to tell you my sorrow which I believe you too shared on some other blog how terrible terrible absolutely terrible that people are forced to die alone (other than you at this particular person's side).
However, and this is a heartfelt question, John, and with your experience of life on the dying ward, any ward, don't you think it should be up to the dying or rather their immediate family to decide whether they want to hold a hand one more time? Plant a butterfly kiss?
The question being: Who are we protecting? Who are we neglecting?
U
I won't really bother to explore the first part of your comment as I think , like do often you misunderstand the nuances of my damm Covid statement.
DeleteI'm actually damming the changes and rules covid brings.....
In reference to your last question.
Of course a patient should choose how they end their life and with who.
That is of course something for them to make happen but nursing staff in hospices are well versed in discussing this subject openly and hopefully with.Sensitivity and can act in an advocacy role .
However real life ( or death) of course will get in the way and things don't always end up the way you want them.
So what I am saying to you Ursula is yes. It is always up to the patient.
But real life often gets in the way
But that is my point, John. Namely, that in these virus stricken times, people are NOT given a choice, neither are their relatives. I find it shocking beyond belief that we are not given agency short of breaking the law. Which, frankly, I would do for one or two people.
DeleteU
We have to make the best we can
DeleteSo many sad stories. Good on you for holding the phone.
ReplyDeleteA very dear friend died a few weeks ago (not of Covid) but the restrictions meant I didn't see her for 3 weeks before her death and couldn't attend the funeral. Several times since then, I've thought, "I must ring Val . . " before realising that she is gone.
ReplyDeleteWhen you can't be with a loved one when they are dying or attend the funeral, there's no final goodbye, no actual parting, no memory of their leaving. I am having trouble accepting that I'll never see her again.
I'm so very sorry x
DeleteThank you, John.x
DeleteThank you for being there and holding the phone. We are asking will this experience push health care to provide WiFi, tablets and other tools in the future.
ReplyDeleteWe have tablets donated but unfortunately I could not access them ...hence using my own phone x
Deletedamn.
ReplyDeleteIt does suck and it may not go back to the old ways for a long time. You are very caring though.
ReplyDeleteThis is where isolation hurts. We are lucky that things are returning to normal here where visitors are allowed at hospital and especially when family members are dying. That is when they need their loved ones the most. I am glad that you could be there for them.
ReplyDeleteAnd thank goodness for the technology we all used to hate......thank goodness for Zoom and FaceTime and everything else
DeleteThat must be so hard John. Not quite the same I know but I had to say goodbye to Stan my fur baby yesterday. The vet was so kind and let me stay with him. He came in quickly put the meds into a line and left straight away. He didn’t have to do that and I was so grateful.
ReplyDelete(((((hugs))))) for you, Tayz. Heart-breaking to have to say goodbye to a dearly loved pet. x
DeleteYou're right Tayz it's not quite the same. In fact it's nothing like the same. However much we love our pets (and I do love mine very much) it doesn't compare with losing a child or a husband/wife. I've lost a child and a husband and several dearly loved pets but I can tell you it is definitely not the same. To put the loss of a pet in the same bracket of losing a child is trivialising the death of that child. It is not the same. Perhaps you've never had to endure the death of one of your children, I hope you never have to but I can assure you that you'd never class it as being the same as a pet.
DeleteTayz I am so very sorry for your loss and I am in tears now.It was so lovely that you were able to be there and comfort your darling Stan.I loved my parents who both died at 56 years of age but have been affected far worse by my dogs passing of which the most recent was 2 years ago and I still grieve him.He is embedded in my heart xxxxxxx
DeleteKatie, of course the loss of a pet is not comparable to that of a beloved human; and nothing surpasses one's child's demise. I'll leave my heartfelt commiserations there since I don't wish to outstay my welcome on John's blog.
DeleteFor what it's worth, stranger to stranger, I feel for you,
U
I disagree with total respect
DeletePain is pain is pain
And we all experience it fir whatever reason
No one can claim their pain is any bigger or more important or more worthy or more painful than anyone else's
It's Just pain and grief and awfulness
I am very upset by Ursula's comment as I believe every creature has as much importance in this Life as any human.We should not think it's our right to dominate The World x
DeleteNo need to be upset
DeleteConnections and love between any living creature are as important as anything else
So many awful things about these times, but that is so particularly heartbreaking.
ReplyDeleteIt seems especially cruel to prevent hospice patients from seeing their families. Who is going to make them sick and what does it matter? As for making the families sick, if all wear masks and gloves, what are the chances since they'll all have come from their homes in their own cars? Perhaps the dying patient could be moved to a room with an exterior door so family could come in directly and leave directly. There has got to be a way.
ReplyDeleteDamn covid, indeed.
Hugs!
Have a million upvotes for what you said, Barbara Anne. If I've said it once I have said dozens of times in the last few weeks. Yet, for some reason, people don't seem to get it. Reminds me of my grandmother who, dying, a few hours away from her actual demise, asked for a glass of cold beer (she was in hospital). I suppose to some extent it was more the idea of a sip of cold beer than her ability to drink it. Want to know what the nurse said to her daughter (my mother): No, no, she is too ill.
DeleteHonestly, "she is too ill". The woman was DYING. Even on death row you get granted your last meal. My mother didn't take no for an answer. And one of the other nurses just said (not in English and anyway in those days no one talked liked that) "what the eff … let her have that effing beer". Just what the doctor ordered.
U
Barbara actually u have read thing wrong the hospice ALLOWS relatives to come in at end of life. It was the family that couldn't come in as they were u der quarantine
DeleteMy mistake, John, and I thank you for the correction. Perhaps I should have coffee before I read blogs in the mornings!
DeleteHugs!
Xx
DeleteHey Katie and Tayz-
ReplyDeleteI am sorry for both of your losses. I truly am... but, Katie, I don't see what good at ALL it does for you to quantify Tayz' grief over losing Stan. For YOU- losing your beloved pets did not compare with losing your child and husband- but you have no basis to judge her and her feeling of loss. It's not a contest. Loss is loss. Pain is pain. Grief is grief. Love is love. In this time when we are all feeling so vulnerable couldn't it just be enough to support each other when we express those losses?
It is heartbreaking and so very painful I'm sure when loved ones cannot be close physically when they are at the end of their lives.I witnessed my dear aunt who was near to the end at a Hospice,not alone as my uncle and myself were with her but her only child her son could not get home in time as he was abroad working.He phoned her whilst I was visiting and I left the room as they spoke for the last time on their phones x
ReplyDeleteStay away from hospitals if at all possible at all times. If you think your loved one is about to die, don't call an ambulance. Face death and let them die peacefully at home. Listen to nobody.
ReplyDeleteSo very sad, John
ReplyDeleteMy daughter is a nurse and she has witnessed and stood vigil over dying covid patients. Family on phones giving permission to pull life support. Young and old patients. She is beyond weary. Wears the same n95 mask for 5 days. She has the cough and shortness of breath, however they won't test the staff, for fear of having no staff. All I want to do is hug her.
ReplyDeleteShe should report her unit to the Royal College of Nursing and Midwives as unfit and cease working. If you would like to give me more details I will do it for her.
DeleteThis is in New Jersey US. We have the most cases in the country. But thanks for the offer of help
DeleteWe lost over half the residents on our unit... I still can’t even talk about it
ReplyDeleteIt's ****ing awful. My Nanna passed a few weeks ago, just as we were locking down over here. I never got to be with her during her transition as we had planned. Te only solace is that I got to hold her a few days before. No one should die alone. It's health workers like yourself that get do the gods work in this stupid times. x
ReplyDelete