Kicking The Cat

Of all of the mental mechanisms that we all employ to survive the brickbats of daily living, it is transference , that I think is the most common and the most easily recognised if you have a modicum of self awareness.
In the first few days after Finlay died I was a volcano of anger( to those newer readers Finlay was my first Welsh Terrier ). I kept things ticking over until I found myself walking down the high street in nearby Prestatyn. At one narrow point I came face to face with two teenage boys riding their bikes on the pavement and after a short stand off I found myself yelling " YOU DONT RIDE BIKES ON THE PAVEMENT !!"into their astonished faces like a banshee at full moon.
The pressure cooker needed to blow off some steam.

Yesterday, the old transference thing found itself bubbling away on Colwyn Bay Promenade .
I recognised the signs and felt the pressure cooker shaking away.
A bland looking woman with a staffie off it's lead suddenly loomed into view .
The staffie looked good natured but as it spied Mary it's head lifted into that stance that could go either way, so I picked Mary up by the scruff and bounced her onto my forearm.
" It's ok she's friendly!" The woman trilled but I wasn't having any of it as the staffie trotted round me   rather too forcibly
" That dog should be on a lead " I said firmly but not rudely
and then the argument started .
The " mind your own business!" comment got my dander up as did the pointed " Little Hitler " reference but I reined it in at the eleventh hour of the row when I just knew I was just about to lose it bigstyle.
Instead of letting off the roar that was inside of me just screaming to get out
I took a deep breath as I lowered Mary to the ground with a dignified sweep of my arm ( the woman had by this time slipped the lead on her dog but was still bumping her gums ) and I pointed downward with well rehearsed practice stating loudly
" Take your dog and your VERY cheap shoes and get lost!" 

Ps. It's  dry, warm and slightly overcast morning...Ideal for The Flower Show which was originally scheduled for today..hey ho

I'll leave you with something happier

A lovely dancing dentist

The Power Of A Film Scene

I was asked recently just why I love the cinema so much.
The answer is a complex one, but I think the main power of film is that it often captures tiny moments in time, moments that we so often never ever able to see and understand.
I was reminded of such a scene last night.
The movie Hostiles has one of the most powerful endings of any film I have ever seen. Shot in slow motion we see the film's traumatised anti hero ( Christian Bale) slowly walking down the platform of a western train station as a train steams away. The audience knows that on the train is an equally traumatised Rosamund Pike  which whom Bale has had a relationship with , and only minutes before had the opportunity in joining for a new life away from the brutality of the Indian wars. Bale rejected the chance of salvation , his expression sort of indicating that he will return to his life of violence and savagery, but as the train moves away, right at the very final moment of the film we witness him stepping on the back of the train to physical and mental safety.
It's a lovely moment.

Like I said last night I was reminded of such a pivotal cinematic moment.
Winnie and Albert and George and I were over in the field checking on the ponies. I'm especially fond of the little gelding who is quite over friendly at times and I love blowing into his nose, taking in  that musty nutty smell horses often possess.
We were standing not far from the little cemetery behind the church and I'd already noticed that a young couple were sitting on the grass in front of a grave. The young woman, had long blonde hair and was drinking from a small bottle. I heard her laugh and watched her for a second as she gathered up some flowers to lean against a gravestone.
It felt as though she was visiting a loved one , informally and with a relaxed warmth.
And as glanced over again past the curve of the gelding's back.
I saw the girl lean over and gently kiss the top of the gravestone.

A little cinematic moment, captured in my head forever.

Where Is Mel Giedroyc when you need her?

I had a mini melt down this afternoon
A phone call gone awry
What I needed was the comic actress Mel Giedroyc to be there standing in the living room in a lurid pink jacket
Does anyone remember her comparing "  The Great British Bake off" a few years ago..?
It was the one where the pouting Ruby lost it over her complicated bake in the semi finals
Ruby was getting all flouncy and bad tempered when Mel went all Women's Institute on her.
The younger woman needed a firm hand as she was being all snappy so the ever pragmatic Mel turned on the sulky young woman with a sharp
" Ruby ...get a grip ok?...get a RUDDY grip!!!!" 

Class

Research

" I have another blog question! How old are they and what sex are they?" 
So asked Mr A when I stood paying for petrol at the village garage and shop.
( Mr A, as you may recall asked the  where are you all from ? blog question earlier in the year, the one that gained nearly 700 comments in 48 hours!)
This second question not only caught me unawares but confused Margaret the cashier somewhat
" How old are who? "she asked " and are who having sex?" 
It got all a bit confusing after that

And so, Mr A in one of his more vague posed questions wants to know dear readers

How old are you?( you can give a wide demographic here if you wish eg " over fifty , over sixty etc" 

What sex are you?

And thirdly ( for the bemused Margaret ) 

ARE YOU STILL HAVING SEX?

Should be an interesting read
( let it be said that Mr A suggests that I have an 80 % female readership of ( and I'm quoting) " a more mature demographic " 
He also suggested that most of my male followers are "LGBT"  ( I didn't correct him as he was on a roll)
We have a bet going ( a few quid ) that I have no followers under 25! ( I said I must have at least 5)

ta Muchly

After some reflection I removed yesterday's post.
It's time to generally diversify the conversations if I can
Having said this I looked at my blogger stats this morning and was surprised to see the numbers of people returning to Going Gently for a look during  July.
Thank you all for popping in . Your support has been fantastic.

The Clock

I initiated one of those elephant in the room conversations today
They are never easy ones to give or to hear.
I asked if my husband could start to think about items he wants to take from our home.
Items of personal importance .
I don't want ambiguity and spats over shared and loved things further down the line.

However I had to be honest when I told him I wanted to keep our grandfather clock.
It's a magnificent locally made Welsh clock from the mid 19th century

He had bought it , but my sister and I had bid on it in a local auction sale many moons ago now and it was , as I recall an exhilarating and stressful twenty minutes out of our lives
The clock had be owned by my best friends' parents for many years and by their family for generations . It was sold when their dear parents had passed away, people who I cared for deeply.
It stood by their front door and I knew and loved it well when I was growing up.

The clock will stay with me.
And....It's a comfort.

S

Runs

Three of the dogs have diarrhoea
Stupidly I used a non known batch of tinned food last night  as I had run out of their usual
I have just returned from a four hour mentoring stint and now realise that Albert has let them in from the kitchen to have the total run of the cottage .
"Runs in the cottage" more like.
And to make things worse the postman has been.
The dogs love galloping around like fools when the post comes!

Mage the badge

http://urban-archology.blogspot.com/

Thank you for your kind gift!
I'll never lose my keys ever again! 

Dirty Bastard

When I was in primary school there were a group of kids who lived in the grottiest house on the council estate.
By anyone's standards they were " loppy"
And were referred to somewhat cruelly as The Stinkbombs
Nowadays the kids would be seen for what they were....deprived and abused children .

I got to thinking about the stinkbombs after emptying the dyson today.
Every day I Hoover the cottage and every day this is what is retrieved from the carpets
Smelly filthy crap!

Every day! 
In a week I could probably fill a large scatter cushion with the detritus collected from animals, humans and a sooty wood burner.
In a month I could fill an average mattress

I can't believe I've just posted a blog about the contents of my vacuum !

A Big Hunk Of Spunk

I went to see Mission Impossible Fallout this evening,
It's really no different from any of the previous five or is it 6 in the series, except the chases are longer, the fights bigger, and the IMF team is now pared down to Tom Cruise, Ving Rimes and a gaunt Simon Pegg.
Don't bother understanding the story, its a usual romp against a nutter wanting to take over the world a fact complicated by infighting by CIA, FBI  and MI6, a blond femme fatale with a flick knife and the obligatory black American intelligence woman looking tough in a power suit (Angela Bassett)
Its shite, but it is terribly polished and entertaining shite which is marvellous fun.
Rebecca Ferguson turns up again as a British agent who can break a neck with her thighs ( a nice move as she is an accomplished actress who brigs a heart and believe it or not some warmth to the movie.)
There's the usual gadgets, prosthetic masks and bells and whistles to please everyone
But for me it was the six footer muscle mary Henry Cavill who steals the film with his turn as a double agent baddie assassin
he's one massive hunk of spunk!

Glorious Rain

It remains warm but is gloriously wet  this morning
And in shorts and t shirt I took the dogs out in pairs so I could get drenched in the rain
The parched grass, gardens and trees looked as though they were taking a collective gulp as it came down  under a grey sky

Disappointment

I'm doing ok
Not great Not brilliant but ok.
Over the last couple of months I have found out I have a lot of good friends and a good family
I have been of the receiving end of thoughtful thoughts and touching gifts
I have received cards and postcards, strange gifts of food and jam and even an anonymous bunch of flowers.
and people who I would have never have expected have stopped to say something when driving by would have been easier...... it is that small effort of saying "are you ok?" that has helped.... it really has
I have also been dreadfully disappointed by a handful of people I care for   and that I expected better from.
I guess that's common when people think that they have to take sides or they know not what to say.😟

A dear friend of mine said something similar to me recently. He  felt let down by a close friend of his who seemed crass and insensitive when dealing with my friend's serious illness.
My friend recognised the fact that serious illness can paralyse some people into inactivity, but the hurt was real and understandable.
unfortunately , for many reasons some friends cannot say what needs to be heard he said......and I agree with him many can't  BUT THEY BLOODY SHOULD

I have some advice for those that feel, for whatever reason, that they cannot say something supportive to people like me or like my friend.....people going through a shitty time
make the effort and say something, email something, message something
You don't have to take sides , you don't have to provide a counselling service , you don't have to lend a supporting ear daily until your ears bleed.....no
you just have be nice and ask
"are you ok?"

Set Up

Albert is being bullied by a new cat on the block
It's a tortoiseshell mix with a whole lotta attitude.
I know it's got attitude because it squared up to Mary when we were out walking around the Churchyard ( yes I walk the dogs there daily as a protest to the uniform ban ) and a cat that will hold its ground against a dog of any size has balls.
Although Albert is a hunter, he is no fighter. His deformed back leg makes him slower and slightly ungainly at times and so when faced with a more determined assailant he usually decides that retreat is the order of the day and makes a bolt for the cat flap home.
This morning the fight with the tortoiseshell  took a tern in Albert's favour.
After the dogs morning wee stop, Winnie, William and Mary went back up to bed as per usual. George disappeared into his bed underneath the kitchen table and leaving the back door open , I went to read the news on the toilet.
I'd only got to a juicy tidbit about Anthony Hopkins stating he should have been a Welsh drunk, when I heard Albert frantically bouncing up the stairs followed by a deafening howl from George which was followed by some very angry barking, a few bangs in the kitchen and the scrabbling of clawed feet on the coalbunker's wooden cover.
With my pants round my ankles I looked out of the window just in time to see the tortoishell streaking over next door's lawn as the rest of the dogs thundered down the stairs to join in with the chaos.
The tortoishell had seen his opportunity in finally cornering Albert and had chased him through the open door into the kitchen.
He hadn't banked on George lying quietly in his bed.
Now George is a typical Scottish Terrier. He has a big mouth and a stout heart and a strange cat, no matter how tough and streetwise is no match for him. And so , like old lions have to do sometime,  George at twelve roared and roared his head off.
The tortoiseshell shat itself and after bouncing around the kitchen for a bit, legged it through the kitchen door and up over the coal bunker with George in close pursuit .

Albert rubbed my scabby knees with his head as the barking increased to fever pitch downstairs
Like nothing had happened

The Acorn Didnt Fall Far From The Tree*

I helped out at my sister's flower Show today. It was nice to see several of Trelawnyd Flower Show's regulars win prizes in the art, cookery and vegetable classes....another case of the ebb and flow of such events.
I was tired when I got home and had to clean the cottage for it's first viewing.
I need not have bothered as the woman who had booked the appointment never actually got out of her car.
"I don't want to live on a main road" she said through her drivers window
"It's actually a quiet lane" I corrected her as Winnie blew bulldog kisses from the front garden gate
but she didn't slow her car down before she drove off.
I can't say I was bothered
It stopped me writing another, more waspish post
* my original blog title

Late Night Sandwich

I worked at Samaritans on the late night 22.00 shift last night.
I wont have access to a car for the next three days so popped in to Sainsbury's before hand for weekend provisions,
I was hungry so as well as a watermelon, bread, milk, eggs,  chicken pieces,noodles and stir fry veg I bought some almost out of date ham and pitta bread, and made an impromptu sandwich as I drove.

In Rhyl ( a place that unfortunately resembles a war zone at the best of times) I spied a homeless guy in a shop doorway. It was late and he was settling down on a pile of something alongside a cheerful looking black Labrador type dog and as I was enjoying my sandwich of ham and pitta  so much I stopped on impulse and offered the rest to him with a slightly awkward " Can you two use these, Ive just made a sandwich"
The man smiled showing teeth like a row of bombed houses and took the bits gratefully
" The dog's been well fed today....but we thank you for your kindness" the man said
I was totally surprised....
His accent and speech was pure boarding school England's home counties
and he held out a dirty hand in thanks.
I shook it firmly.
and felt as humble as anyone could have possibly felt in a moment in a car in a back street of grotty Rhyl

Grass Cutters

There is little nutrient in the grazing in most of the fields around us now and horse owners are resulting to bring in summer hay supplements which is usually unheard of this time of year.
As a favour to a old school chum I have agreed for her ponies to come onto the field for a short time.
It is a win win win situation for all of us
The Ponies have excellent virgin grazing
The field gets cleared of nettles and weeds
and Irene has two grazing friends once more

It's Pronounced....

found these old videos on a youtube

 account yesterday, thought they may be worth repeating

some of the villagers pronouncing "Trelawnyd"

The Place Is Tidy

http://peterlarge.com/sales/cwm-road-trelawnyd/

The Down Side of Dog Ownership

Bulldog Breath that could cut steel

The weekly Cleaning of brown scum from every fold of facial skin

Two bouts of mild heatstroke in one month

One bad tempered spat over a lurid green tennis ball

One wet fart shit stain on my favourite sofa cushion

Deafening snoring after a 7 am lie in

a dyson full of pet hair

Daily bouts of unsightly masturbation.

No one tells you all this before they arrive 

BORIS remembered

A jar of homemade Jam and a kind card left by Gentleman Farmer Ralph and Lady L on the garden gate was another treat today.......
Thank you both,
they only live up the lane.
At 3 pm two old men stopped at the kitchen wall for eggs, I thought one was  blogger CRO for a moment he looked so similar.. They were walkers with ski sticks and backpacks.
Both stopped for eggs 8 years ago and remembered the cottage
"How's Boris?" one guy asked and I broke the news that he died a good while ago

"I liked that old bird" the man said sadly

"SO did I " I told him with feeling