Bulldog Breath that could cut steel
The weekly Cleaning of brown scum from every fold of facial skin
Two bouts of mild heatstroke in one month
One bad tempered spat over a lurid green tennis ball
One wet fart shit stain on my favourite sofa cushion
Deafening snoring after a 7 am lie in
a dyson full of pet hair
Daily bouts of unsightly masturbation.
No one tells you all this before they arrive
Winifred thou art beautiful xxx
ReplyDeleteAh bless. Who could resist a face like that.I love my two little rascals to bits and wouldn't be without them -wet farts and all!!Best wishes and hugs to lovely Winnie. Wandaxx
ReplyDeleteBit like a lover John, you’ve got to live with them to know them. Can’t wait for Winnie’s blog.
ReplyDeleteLX
The upside is she melts your heart every single day. She is also rather beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI could cope with William but I couldn't cope with Winnie's folds! x
ReplyDeleteMakes me wonder what our dogs would say about living with us??
ReplyDeleteMost of that could be said about teenagers,
ReplyDeletehello gorgeous girl!
ReplyDeleteHa ha ha!!!! I will never complain about Buster again. He will occasionally show his lipstick tube when guest are here.....and I have to tell him to put it away. Other then that he's gold.
ReplyDeleteDaily.... My goodness....
ReplyDeleteElsewhere from amsterdam
Oh what a sweet little doggie! Coochie coochie coo! There's a good girl!
ReplyDeleteYou're talking about the dog, right? I mean, I know some people like that.
ReplyDeleteIt's the same thing with kids.
ReplyDeleteYou must be "blessed" if you speak from experience and wonder where you went wrong.
DeleteI have yet to encounter a child with bad breath or any of that maligned Winnie's other foibles. Or maybe mine is just an Angel. Which he is.
U
I meant the 'no one tells you this before they arrive part' lol.
DeleteThis is when non-animal owning friends look baffled and ask 'Why?' But we know why, don't we. Pure, unconditional love.
ReplyDeleteBut isn't she lovely!
ReplyDeleteAll worth it! Who wouldn’t love that faces?
ReplyDeleteThe joys of pet ownership!
ReplyDeleteAnd you wouldn't have it any other way!!
ReplyDeleteWinnie - you naughty girl;)
ReplyDeletePriceless
ReplyDeleteJohn, you pretty much just listed everything about dogs in general .. give or take a better never seen item...
ReplyDeleteShe is beautiful bulldog. She is not a hound or a collie or shepherd, she is a beautiful sweet Bulldog.
Give her a kiss from me.
...but it is all worth it. I don't know what I would do without my dog. He has gotten me through some tough times in my life. I took him on a five mile walk/run this morning and when we returned home he rubbed his slimy beard filled with dog drool all over my carpet. I sighed, cleaned it up and gave him a belly rub.
ReplyDeleteBut then they come up to you when you are sat head in hands, your heartbreaking and tears flowing and look at you with those eyes.
ReplyDeleteThe eyes that bore into your soul dredge out the pain and the sorrow, they push their wet noses into our thigh, as if to say 'I love you my human, when your heart breaks mine does too, lets cuddle up and send the world away. I will heal you.'
Then they go into comedy mode, chase a tail, spin in circles, make your tearstained face crack into a smile ... then demand a sausage, a meatball or a chew ...for services rendered.
We have our dogs in our world but to them we ARE the world ❤
Aesthetically some dogs can be most pleasing which I am afraid, and it's fine - I am not the one living with her, poor old Winnie is not. If she were human she'd be the butt of many a cruel joke. Actually she is. Even by one who loves her (you).
ReplyDeleteConsidering how much I am put off by her appearance it'd be a rather interesting experiment how I'd react if I met her in the flesh. As long as she doesn't slobber all over me, and takes no for no, her soulful eyes (full of woe and, possibly, mirth) might win(!) me over. And, of course, the fact that she is YOUR dog.
Her look reminds me of someone, a woman of either fact or fiction - but who? One day it'll come to me.
Winning greetings,
U
PS Come to think of it, she is probably just putting on an act to to keep both you and your readers entertained. Now, THAT is a good girl.
Miriam Margolyes? x
DeleteOh, Winnie. What a handful you are!
ReplyDeleteThank you for telling me.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure I could deal with the wet farts or the skin folds.
ReplyDeleteHarry is a compulsive bin raider which is annoying but doesn't involve bodily functions, which suits me just fine
That face says it all.... you love, love, love meeeeee!!
ReplyDeleteOur George never has wet farts, but they really, really stink! Ginger has never farted near us and we were unaccustomed to dogs smelling bad! Her fur never smells bad either no matter how long it's been since her last bath, but George is stinky again within an hour of a bath! I never knew dogs could be so different!
ReplyDeleteWinnie makes up for all her shortcomings with her sweetness, I think!
An I can see he has dry nose, as well. Nose butter works well!
ReplyDeleteShe is beautiful and a character so these small problems have to be overlooked. Winnie obviously adores you and is part of the household so it's forgivable. I expect she makes you laugh with her antics.
ReplyDeleteWhy do I think I want a dog? I'm going to read every single comment on here, and remind myself every time I weaken. My cat suits me fine!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletetoo many typos.....
DeleteYours is a list of mere trifles to cope with, JayGee, vastly outweighed by W. being the treasure she is. Isn't that so? There you are, see!
ReplyDeleteAnd you love them all the same.
ReplyDeleteBut look at that face!
ReplyDeleteI've just caught up on all your blog posts. Things certainly have been busy around your way. I'm impressed by all the butterflies on your buddleia -- a peacock AND a tortoiseshell at the same time!
We met a couple on our trip here in Vietnam who live in North Wales and work in nursing for the NHS in Chester. I wondered if they knew you, but they apparently don't! (A chance in a million, admittedly.)
We had a bulldog who had similar symptoms. She also had to wipe his ass.
ReplyDeleteYIKES . . .
ReplyDeletePlease list the plus sides next!
Quickly . . .
Somebody has to love the less loveable among us!!
ReplyDeleteMany dogs do none of these unpleasant things. I think John secretly gets a kick out of wayward Winnie. My pug's only icky thing is the nose fold cleaning---I use medicated pads and a medicated powder. Once your vet recommends the right Rx products, you can buy them online.
ReplyDeletelizzy
Those are natural habits that make up an interesting character. She is very beautiful and has soulful eyes. And at least she's not leaving you little critter corpses laying around. I think one serial critter killer is enough if there isn't a vermin problem in the house.
ReplyDeleteBabies poop and throw up and pee all the time. And when they grow up to be tiny little people, they go to school and bring home diseases like the pink eye, the flu, and the chicken pox from the other infectious germ factories they call friends...
Be thankful she is not a moody, rebellious, hardheaded, know it all teen with terrible taste in music, angsty and overly dramatic over perceived slights and the smallest things, making a great show of ennui over fun family activities, ignoring your sage advice while they make awful fashion and lifestyle choices, all while eating you out of house and home.
Yes, I can tell: You are one those marvellous people who give both babies and teens a bad name.
DeleteU
eroswings, you made me laugh!
Delete
ReplyDeleteAnd to add to eroswings comment, be thankful she won't ask you for money .
What's wrong with asking for money - indeed asking for anything? I am always far more interested in the answer. Tells you all you need to know about the person you asked.
DeleteU
at least half of that sounds like my husband.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking the same thing!
DeleteMy bichonpoo humps her bed several times a day. I thought maybe she had an itch, because she behaves the same way I do when I have a (T.M.I. alert) bad yeast infection! I figure as long as it's not my, or anyone else's, leg it's all good! She's twelve. Could it be an age thing?
ReplyDeleteWinnie's dear face puts me in mind of my father, not that he looked like Winston Churchill, he just always wanted an English bulldog. A basset hound would've done in a pinch, but he settled on varied mutts.
Honestly, the sort of lodgers you have to put up with these days - it's shocking.
ReplyDeletebut..... it is all worth it !
ReplyDeletecheers, parsnip
But you love that dog, warts and all. . .
ReplyDeleteYes. They barf where they want, scoot around on fresh clean throw rugs to clean their butts, they eat nasty things and try to lick you after...no need to go on and on.
ReplyDeleteUnconditional love both ways x
ReplyDeleteI thik there are always down sides to pet-owning John but on balance I think they are worse with the snub-nosed breeds.
ReplyDeleteMy new dog I got home yesterday they think has not lived in a house before.He is weeing & pooing indoors.I don't mind at all.Someone said whilst I was walking him today that she thinks he is a welsh terrier or a cross.He's been castrated before they let him come home & still has to have his stitches out.His hair has been cut short as it was matted & had tooth removed-bless the baby x
ReplyDeleteVery plump babies such as my firstborn have folds that need similar tending....
ReplyDeleteThat is the trouble with pure breed dogs. There are so many health issues. It is why it is best to go for a non pure bred and not to breed anymore
ReplyDeleteTraveller
apologies for not replying to all of the comments. just got in!
ReplyDeleteI will probably never own another dog, I will just borrow them from friends for a day.
ReplyDeleteAnd she looks like she cares, John.
ReplyDeleteBut doesn't she look at you with love!
ReplyDeleteI agree with you about the hair; the rest must be a Welsh thing.
ReplyDeleteThat is the trouble with many pure bred dogs.
ReplyDeleteI'am glad to read the whole content of this blog and am very excited,Thank you for sharing good topic.
ReplyDeleteดูหนังà¸à¸à¸™à¹„ลน์