Monday, 30 July 2018

Dirty Bastard

When I was in primary school there were a group of kids who lived in the grottiest house on the council estate.
By anyone's standards they were " loppy"
And were referred to somewhat cruelly as The Stinkbombs
Nowadays the kids would be seen for what they were....deprived and abused children .

I got to thinking about the stinkbombs after emptying the dyson today.
Every day I Hoover the cottage and every day this is what is retrieved from the carpets
Smelly filthy crap!


Every day! 
In a week I could probably fill a large scatter cushion with the detritus collected from animals, humans and a sooty wood burner.
In a month I could fill an average mattress

I can't believe I've just posted a blog about the contents of my vacuum !



64 comments:

  1. You vacuum every day?!?! I now have serious house cleaning guilt. -Jenn

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    1. As you can see four dogs and a wood burner creates a whole lotta. Shit

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    2. Anonymous2:47 pm

      I live the in an old house (as in C14th), two humans, four cats and a wood burner in the middle of the countryside. I too, now, vacuum every day. I say now because I have a cordless Dyson. With a corded vacuum it was too much of a pain. If I were house proud I would vacuum twice a day!

      Traveller

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    3. Thank goodness someone else who understands

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  2. Every estate had them. A 'delightful' family known as The Drains were ours.

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  3. Even out in the country in a one room school we had a family that was less than delightful....I think even then we knew enough to feel sorry for those kids. The year after I left that school I learned that the oldest boy was hit and killed on the road making a late night run on his bike to the store for an ice cream for his mom.

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    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    2. We had such a family too. They lived in the council flat above ours. Their house smelled really bad. The mother never came outside. Now, we would realize their mother suffered from depression. Tragically,like your family, their only son died on a school trip to the the mountains in Scotland when the weather took a bad turn.

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  4. You have no idea how much better I feel now. I only get this from the whole house once a week! I also have a dyson btw. I am sure that we have less though because we don't have any pets, let alone all of your crew! This is probably quite modest considering all of your doggies.

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  5. Just imagine if you only cleaned, once a month, you'd need a bigger dyson. I walk around the house barefoot, one thing I have found with the wood floors, I have to clean more often, I can feel every grain of sand, every crumb.

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  6. Do you put that stuff in your compost bin? (Assuming of course that you have one)

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  7. I have three cats and this year they all have never stopped moulting. There are hairs absolutely everywhere - wish I had a Dyson!!

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  8. I was just back visiting the tiny little place where I lived when I was five years old to nine or ten and the memories of how poor almost everyone was came back to me strongly. So many of my class mates had black and rotten teeth. Many had only one or two at the most different outfits for school. Baths were obviously infrequent. Health problems like worms were dealt with at home if dealt with at all. And yet, I don't remember ever being disdainful of any of the children. We had very little but I did get a bath every night and my teeth were good and we had enough to eat. In fact, I was the one most bullied because I was a chubby little girl and my mother was a teacher and I loved to read. So in that scenario I was the outsider.
    I learned a lot about life in those few years.

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  9. Ours is exactly the same; filled with dog hair.

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  10. How dare you shame us for vacuuming only once a week. My God John! Give us meer humans a damn break.

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    Replies
    1. ps. new word....grotty. I like it.

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  11. If you saved all the dog hair up, you could have a few lovely warm jumpers made from it!

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  12. My mom took in foster children. One girl was so distraught when she first came to live with us she often wet the bed. My mother would bathe her and give her freshly washed and ironed clothes to wear before we left the house. I imagine living in our home was the best part of most of those kids younger lives. One became so close to our family that she and my sister had a double wedding together. It must be horrible for a child to know they stink and are looked down upon for it. You take wonderful care of your pets, they are better kept than many people are. You're a great housekeeper, too. The stuff in my vacuum cleaner looks just like yours, nasty stuff!-Mary

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  13. I vacuum about once a year, though don't change the bedsheets quite as often.

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  14. Why are you doing a "Cro" (knife)? And what's the dead matter doing on the kitchen counter? And why are you employing a Dyson? The latter question not as far fetched as it sounds. I have a theory about people who use a Dyson - but you having more on your plate than appetite warrants I'll better keep my insight to myself.

    Anyway, you have done a grand job of proving that no dog is better than any. Once a day? That much hair? Are you shearing them?

    Vaguely disgusted yours, wishing you many more battles not lost,
    U

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    1. Why not a dyson ? It works better than any other I have previously used and it's cordless so is easier to use..

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    2. Let's leave the Dyson equation out of it. You won't like it. Maybe another time.

      However, you may like to know that the best vac ever (though, admittedly, not cordless) is German engineering: Miele "Cat and Dog" - no bull. I don't even have a cat or a dog. Its pulling power is sterling. Not only do you extract dirt you didn't realize you had (non existent); when I wear a skirt or a dress (which is most of the time) its sucking power such that Miele C&D and I do, intermittently, battle (you know when you take off the brush and just use the tube). Oh to be eaten alive! That's on its MAX setting. There is one for curtains. Gentle. No pulling power.

      Anyway, fun can be found in places where there isn't any [fun that is].

      U

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    3. Won't believe it more like

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    4. Anonymous6:52 pm

      My “old”vacuum is a Miele Cat and Dog (as in three years old) a year ago I got a cordless Dyson. The Miele has not been used since the day the Dyson came in the house. Not only is the Dyson more convenient it is better than the Miele at picking up cat fur.

      Traveller

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    5. I'm still interested in hearing what Ursula has to say of dyson owners...I suspect it is illuminating

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  15. I have a Dyson Animal and hoover about twice a week getting just a bit more than the mucky fluff in your picture each time.

    The rest of the time the dust bunnies play with each other ... and I
    look the other way 😉

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  16. Do you brush the dogs every day? Helps lessen the dust bunnies.

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    1. And that nasty pile does not belong on the kitchen counters, John. eeew.

      lizzy

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    2. They get cleaned too

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  17. The cat has been moulting a lot in this hot weather. The other day she had been sleeping on the top of the duvet, when she finally got up she left behind a small black circle of hair. She's been brushed a lot more since!

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  18. LOL...and how are you today?

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  19. I never apologise for the contents of my vacuum. It's a dissection of my life.

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  20. I do try each day to keep a orderly house-I vacumn,sweep,shake covers & throws but I collapse with exhaustion before it's satisfactory to normal standards.Never mind.Today new dog has dragged a toy box across a room,emptyed it with over 20 toys and destuffed one.As I was outside tidying up he was dragging his bed around the garden & trying to rip the fur off x

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  21. I'm reading this while combing my semi longhaired cat - I've taken off enough fluff to fill a cup, packed firmly (no, I don't put it in a cup, just wanted to give an idea of scale!). I don't comb him every day, nor do I vacuum every day. I probably should.

    I really, really want a cordless Dyson and if I had one maybe I'd do it more frequently. I have a theory about people who have theories about people ...

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    1. I have a cordless Dyson. It uses its power up in 5/10 minutes, but it can't half pick up a load of fluff, fur and crumbs in that time. Think of just doing one room at a time, when it needs it, and you'll wonder how you lived without one.
      (I bought it because I fell over the cord of the old hoover!)

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  22. We dumped our Dyson after it broke down too any times, have used HENRY for years.
    We've been staying with family so I used their cordless Dyson to get up our dog hairs and it blew out more than it picked up.
    I know people swear by their Dysons and even know a couple who fought over it in their divorce, both had hold of one end and wouldn't let go !

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  23. My husband used to tell me I could build another cat with all the cat hair sucked up :)

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  24. Anonymous5:39 pm

    I'm not sure if this counts as a sale pitch for the cottage... But maybe that is just what you intended?

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  25. This took me back to my days at primary school where there were several less than fragrant families. In high dudgeon I reported to my mother that I had seen one of the little girls not wiping after going to the toilet - must have been broken or absent doors - and my dear mum said 'Ah, poor little thing.' I'm afraid it was several years before I worked that one out.

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  26. My vacuum contents used to be very similar to yours, thanks to my big, long-haired Border Collie who loved getting wet and mucky. But now my vacuuming work has decreased drastically, because I have a Bichon Frise - he doesn't shed hair at all.

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  27. That's a lot of dirt in a day.

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  28. Thereby proving that one really CAN blog about anything. Ha!

    I'm impressed you get that much stuff daily!

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  29. My husband sheds, so I should think our Miele is filled with his fur. ;)

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  30. You could have the animal fluff spun and made into a nice sweater, if you'd a mind to. Bosch and Sebo do it for me (shut up!).

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  31. I vacuum maybe every other month. I just don't give a fuck about housecleaning. and I have a hoover.

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  32. Years back I had to take a teaspoon of vaccum detritus to an allergy specialist. What I took him was dirty cat hair. It looked quite similar to your selection.

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  33. I found it most interesting John - but what I want to know is do you vacuum your duvet too?

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  34. looks about the same amount as I brush off my long haired cat everyday... I vacuum about twice a week and it probably should be more...your followers always delight with their comments...

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  35. You must not 'Hoover' your house with a Dyson. Every time you say the H word, a fairy dies.

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  36. Goodness John, you are a great house keeper! The vacuuming is done once a week here, but there are only two of us, electric heating, and no pets- other than the overnight visits from our 'granddaughter Goldie' when the family go off for a weekend. My housecleaner reckons she can always tell when Kiwa has been with us, even for one night! I'm interested in the Dyson v 'the rest' comments. Our vacuum cleaner is pathetic - it's an Electrolux.

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  37. As Steve said, you can blog about anything, and when it's YOU doing it, it's always interesting! Our best vacuum (long story) is broken at the moment and we have just discovered that the repairman shut down his shop two years ago. Now we're looking at driving four hours round trip to drop it off for repair and four hours to pick it up again!

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  38. Looks like an excellent Hoover!
    And you . . . what an excellent homemaker, vacuming every day!

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  39. For your Aussie followers, what does loppy mean???
    Dyson and an incontinent rabbit =similar result.

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  40. I once took a bunch of cat hair from the sofa and put it on my head. It was a perfect match. Just a thought.

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  41. That is why we love you! You make an interesting blog about dirt.

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  42. Have had Dysons since they came on the market, have now upgraded to a Shark. It's like being born again. The amount of hair and fluff of three dogs and two cats. Oh my it is wonderful . . .

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  43. We have a cat and two dogs. Our big dog Lulu who is a german shepherd and mixture loves to be vacuumed, she bumps the back of my knee till I get the upholstery brush.. After I do her upper side she lays with her paws in the air for me to do her under carriage. When L get done she usually shakes and hair still flies everywhere.

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  44. I had to laugh, I can't imagine anyone wanting a scatter cushion or a mattress filled with that stinky stuff! But I know what you mean ;)

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