What Made You Laugh This Week?

The Donald Trump inflatable baby which has had the green light to be flown over a London when the President arrives 

This made me chuckle

This blog is over to you again my pretties !
What made you laugh this week? 
I want details here as we all are in need of a good chuckle
Mine? Well mine was watching the final of the Dave Tv comedy quiz show Taskmaster 
Now for those that don't know Taskmaster is a silly competition where 5 comedians have to perform batty  challenges for chairman Greg Davies and his sidekick the delightful little Alex Horne
It's an incredibly funny programme made better by my favourite performer Lisa Tarbuck winning the final.

So what made you laugh until you were knicker moist?

Basil and Trevor

The sun has now bleached the deep green of some of the pasture land around Trelawnyd. South facing lawns , the Churchyard and village green all now resemble amber weetabix and apart from the cottage roses many of the summer flowers have burnt away to nothing.
Cheerful Ann from the old Flower Show committee has been organising a last meal celebration for us all at The Crown for a week on Saturday.
There are twelve of us going with only Trendy Carol unable to attend, which is unfortunate.
Incidentally the fine weather has brought out a whole new wardrobe in Trendy Carol's vast collection.
Yesterday she floated past in something very loose fitting and ethereal .
She looked rather cool in this hot spell.
Anyhow , as usual , I am digressing.
The story today is a typically meandering and gentle one.
Last night Mary and I had walked to the outskirts of the village in order to drop of a menu to matriarch Irene for the aforementioned bunfight.
Her cottage is one of the oldest in the village and is called chwarel a Welsh word which means "quarry"
As I sweated and Mary panted, a familiar figure came into view . It was old Trevor out on his evening constitutional.
Trevor marches on at least two power walks daily. He was born in Trelawnyd in the 1920s and never left, and since he received a new knee he has been powerhousing around like a lobsided puppy.

Trevor, miles from home

We chatted for a while before he marched away down the lane and as he did so Basil , a local farmer drove up behind and stopped to chat too.
This stop / start thing is common in the country.
A half hour walk can often last well over an hour.
Basil marvelled at Trevor's jaunty gait and we joked that he walks faster and longer than I do, a man 35 years his junior .
Basil picked up a 25 kilo bag of sheep feed like he would have done a small handbag and slung it in the back of his truck, it was 8 pm and he was still working hard on farm matters...he remarked on the heat saying the his wheat was ready to cut, weeks before it should be.
We watched as Trevor marched off in the distance  and Basil asked " How old is Trevor now?" as he prepared for another job to do.
" I think he's 94!" I told him
"Yessssi !" Basil exclaimed " He's bloody grand for 94!" 
And Basil flipped up the heavy tailgate of his truck and jumped into the cab with a skip

I picked up Mary so Basil could pass by in the overgrown lane and I smiled to myself as the farm van roared off.
It was evening and Basil was still plugging away
He is in his mid eighties.

We All Need Our Own Baby

In Ireland I bought a toy dog for my great neice
Mary fell in love with it and it's never left the cottage

Scabby Knees

" What's the matter with you Albert?" 
I was on the loo when I heard Mrs Trellis talking to the cat over the garden wall.
I'd been sitting there for half an hour, reading the news on my iPad.
Apparently this heatwave is set to stay for another two weeks or so.

I wondered just what Mrs Trellis was referring to as Albert had moments before ambled into the bathroom  as I read, so I peeped through the bathroom window and sang out
" what's up Joyce !" 
( yes Mrs Trellis' first name is indeed Joyce)

Mrs Trellis looked somewhat confused for a moment, as she tried to locate where my voice was coming from and as she pulled greyhound Blue around in a circle away from Albert who was sat on the wall swishing his tail in irritation, she sang out
"Albert is covered in paint" 

I was suddenly embarrassed as I realised what had happened
I had previously treated my psoriasis knees with a thick film of sudocrem before Albert had confidently ambled into the bathroom to head butt me his morning hello .

Better

Not As I Left It

It's as hot in Trelawnyd as it was in  Sitges, only not as humid.
I got home in the wee small hours after a particularly ardious journey thanks primarily to easyJet and a few dysfunctional passengers with no manners, class or/and morals.
The cottage looks tired today
It took me a full hour to realise just why.

The flowers in the vases I had so carefully dotted around before I left had withered away in the heat

Seen Better Days

I like my hotel.....it reminds me....well.........of me........

The Santa Maria is just a tad past it's sell by date.
It's a bit scruffy and worn around the edges and may even be called tatty in places, but it's friendly and warm and familiar to those who may value the traditional and the solid.
La Santa Maria is not flashy.
It is dependable and run in a practical sort of way.
It has fresh flowers every day and makes good coffee.
It welcomes dogs.
It values old friends, can be occasionally staid but at other times be the life and soul of the party and because it's made up of several complicated and eclectic buildings it remains a hotchpotch of 'personalities' and styles many of which don't suit those that enjoy minimalist lifestyles.

It also looks much better when viewed from afar....

I'm typing this over breakfast coffee. I'm coming home later today .
The thousand swifts are still circling the spires of Sitges Church this morning

Parròquia de Sant Bartomeu i Santa Tecla

Sitges is dominated by the ancient Church of St Bartomeu and St Tecla.
It presides over the town with all of the warmth and care of a broody fat hen and I love it because of that fact.

Yesterday I walked around it's base and giant walls as I have done so many times before and felt somewhat melancholy for a time as my husband wasn't there to enjoy the views with me as usual.
Even when you are silent,sharing a view from Sitges Church is a powerful event no matter how many times you have done it.

From the plaza in front of the Church doors I looked across the Promenade. I could see my great nephew on his skateboard, and his dad, my nephew, waved up at me. The rest of the family were dotted around, either swimming or walking or sleeping on their Sun chairs or playing rugby, but it was sort of  nice to sit by the Church in the setting sun and watch a thousand swifts soar around it's bell towers like a giant swarm of friendly bees.

Breakfast

The three palm trees outside the poshest villa on Sitges Promenade

Yesterday I played the " steal your lunch" game with a Spanish lady at the next table.
This was at breakfast, which at the Santa Maria is a large al fresco affair over looking the Prom.
I caught her eye after I watched her make two ham sandwiches out of a baguette .
She was lowering the sandwiches into her handbag.
She smiled as I countered by slipping a boiled egg and an orange into my man bag .
The game was on.
She ambled to the buffet table and replied with a donut and what suspiciously looked like an individual yogurt.
She smiled in that smug way people do when the think they have won.
But the smile faded as, in a last minute dash to the winning post I countered again with two cheese mini baguettes, a large piece of garlic sausage and a banana, which poked out of the side of my bag in defiance.
Funny what games you play on holiday.

Gay Club

My family know " f" all about gay matters

They know nothing about twinks and bears and lipstick lesbians, bulldog dykes and chubby chasers

They do now!

We had an active learning teaching afternoon on Sitges beach and tomorrow I shall be quizzing the family on knowledge learnt! 

A lovely day 

My neice ( in law) Rebecca....one of life's lovely people

My brother in law with a local drag queen ( who looks remarkably like my mother)

The family tonight....

Birthday

Ann with her flaming Whiskey cake

With Janet

Great niece Ellie

Sister in law Jayne with mick Jagger 

Rebecca and nephew Chris 

Nephew Pete , Traci, Louis and just seen Evie

The Shame!

At Liverpool, John Lennon airport.
Just been felt up by a very unattractive old man at security
He had trouble running his fingers around the waistline of my shorts
V V V embarrassing

Smile

Dear readers, as you know just recently a great many things have made me tear up.
This video is just one other....but it is one that does so in a rather lovely way.
Listen and enjoy Goodall's pragmatic gentleness
And through the tears
Smile

Holiday Haircut

It's as hot here in Trelawnyd as it is in Sitges .
80 degrees and rising.
Half my family are in Spain , the other half , including myself will be going tomorrow.
It's Ann's 70th birthday tomorrow..
There should be twelve of us going!
I've just had my holiday haircut.
My barber told me I looked too straight for Sitges
(She went last year with a gay friend and  reliably informed me that she didn't sleep for three days !)
I intend to sleep for three days.I told her.

Big thanks to Affable despot Jason who is giving me a lift to the airport at some ungodly time and also to Islwyn who will be walking the dogs before the Prof arrives home.
I will leave you with the above video. It serves no more purpose than to provoke discussion on a boring post
Hey ho

Pride

🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈

Before I came out  , I led a busy, social if fairly asexual life.
I had a large urban family of friends , most of whom I still keep in touch with, had a good job in a city that was as interesting as it was grubby and was as happy as I could ever be.
But I was gay and then hadn't quite let the cat out of the bag to myself so to speak

In this Pride week I recalled a moment that helped turn the tables on my slightly apathetic closet lifestyle
And it was all to do with Sheffield's Central city library's reference reading room.
I used to go there on a spare day off or a morning before a late shift.
I always liked the desks that all pointed in the same direction . The fact you only saw the back of people's heads as they studied and the delightfully Deco wooden book filled shelves and the giant  metal rimmed windows that filtered the light from Surrey Street and Tudor Square

That day I was reading. I can't remember what ...but I do remember  a young man walking by my seat from behind with his rucksack creaking as he brushed past. He half turned his head as he passed and dropped a small piece of paper in front of me before walking to the front of the seating area then turning right and back out of the room.
He had thick dark hair and wore a untidy green jumper like students often do.
I was suddenly conscious that other people may have seen his note drop and I felt strangely embarrassed by it, but carefully I opened the paper and read a Sheffield telephone number proceeded by the name Alan.
I had been cruised!
Cruised in the Sheffield City Library!

How exciting!
I may have not fully recognised my own gayness back then but thankfully someone else had and from almost nowhere and one phone call later I had my first proper gay date with a guy called Alan who had a scruffy green jumper and who lived in Sheffield.🌈🌈🌈

Mental Health

I'm meeting an old friend for brunch today.
It's at Bryn Williams at Porth Eirias .......they do a fucking fantastic avocado on toast there even if the service can be a little slow .
( google it if you want)!!!
My friend has a few mental health issues which we both often  talk about and laugh at.
Mental health issues are no different to any other issues I think...they are as part of a person as their  shoe size!
We all need support and a plan in order to deal with them...
And thank fuck most people now realise this is a truism ....it's part of modern life

Also thank goodness for William, Harry and Kate , they have recently championed just how " normal" mental health issues have become....
....to me mental health issues are as normal as breathing......just like physical issues...and I remember now with some affection that in 1998 that I had counselling about my unstable mother ...therapy that  grounded me better than any self help review would ever done.

Share you mental health stories today...share and be empowered.... eh?
" share it with the group". X

Lady Troubridge

It's 23 degrees in the garden and Winnie has been given strict instructions to lie nipple down of the cool concrete of the shady patio.
For the next five days I am on my own in the cottage and I have been musing what to do with myself today.
The roads have been busy with day trippers, so after buying salad items, crab sticks and lime cordial and half toying with a trip to Colwyn Bay, I have contented myself with a comfortable sit under the garden parasol with the 1926 publication of Etiquette and Entertaining by Lady Troubridge
I'm presently reading the chapter entitled Modern maids and how to use them! 

I'm liking Lady Troubridge, her encouraging words to the faint hearted 1920's housewife is true spirt that won the war stuff.

"We are not all born with courage, but it's latent in all of us and can and should be pulled out whenever the occasion arises. Pulled out for all these fears. For the little ones first, by way of practice , and then, when you've made friends with courage , you'll only have to stretch out your hand to find it materialising at command. .............never ever be afraid . Be sad and sorry sometimes , because we all must be that way now and then . Be perplexed because life is not all plain sailing . But never let life be too much for you. It won't if you take as your motto these three words which I'll repeat again........NEVER BE AFRAID." 

Lady Troubridge

" Who lives here?"

It's a beautiful summer morning and the cottage windows are wide open.
I was ironing a shirt in the kitchen when I heard the ramblers outside.
They had walked up through Graham's sheep fields and were heading for the Gop.
I heard a tinkle of a laugh and a woman's voice.
" who do you think lives here?" She asked
The women were playing a sort of game children do
Who lives in a house like this?....
The game had started next door when the walkers had spied sailor John's homebuilt sailing boat
I paused my ironing to listen
I wasn't surprised with the comments
" lovely little garden"
" nice flowers in the window "
" awwwww look at that little dog asleep" ( George)
" tasteful" 
" an older lady with class?" ( I liked that one)
" no an older couple " whispered " underpants hanging!" 
" no look at the kitchen tiles, very retro , it's someone younger "
" they have a wood stove whoever they are?"
" a holiday cottage perhaps?" 
" no there's an antique soup tureen on the window ledge... its someone older and they own it"  

I couldn't resist joining the discussion so I popped my head around the kitchen wall
" actually it's a middle aged homosexual with fabulous taste who lives here !" I trilled
And the women all cackled with good humour

Lighten Your Heart

Well I don't know about you but after the earlier post I am in need of a lifting of the heart.

Have a look at this video, it will do the trick.

To red light funding of the movie The Greatest Showman ,the studio big wigs got together with the cast and crew to run through some of the libretto. The proposed star of the show , Hugh Jackman had been told he could not sing at the event due to recent cancer surgery on his nose but in this moment captured on film, he couldn't stop himself taking over from his understudy and the result is pure magic

For Joe And Kerry

who lost a dear friend on Tuesday

The Power of the Dog by Kipling

There is sorrow enough in the natural way
From men and women to fill our day;
And when we are certain of sorrow in store,
Why do we always arrange for more?
Brothers and sisters, I bid you beware 
Of giving your heart to a dog to tear.

Buy a pup and your money will buy
Love unflinching that cannot lie
Perfect passion and worship fed
By a kick in the ribs or a pat on the head.
Nevertheless it is hardly fair
To risk your heart for a dog to tear.

When the fourteen years which Nature permits
Are closing in asthma, or tumour, or fits,
And the vet’s unspoken prescription runs
To lethal chambers or loaded guns,
Then you will find – it’s your own affair, –
But … you’ve given your heart to a dog to tear.

When the body that lived at your single will,
With its whimper of welcome, is stilled (how still!),
When the spirit that answered your every mood
Is gone – wherever it goes – for good,
You will discover how much you care, 
And will give your heart to a dog to tear!

We’ve sorrow enough in the natural way,
When it comes to burying Christian clay.
Our loves are not given, but only lent,
At compound interest of cent per cent,
Though it is not always the case, I believe,
That the longer we’ve kept ’em, the more do we grieve;
For, when debts are payable, right or wrong,
A short-time loan is as bad as a long –
So why in – Heaven (before we are there) 
Should we give our hearts to a dog to tear?