Monday, 25 June 2018

Mental Health


I'm meeting an old friend for brunch today.
It's at Bryn Williams at Porth Eirias .......they do a fucking fantastic avocado on toast there even if the service can be a little slow .
( google it if you want)!!!
My friend has a few mental health issues which we both often  talk about and laugh at.
Mental health issues are no different to any other issues I think...they are as part of a person as their  shoe size!
We all need support and a plan in order to deal with them...
And thank fuck most people now realise this is a truism ....it's part of modern life

Also thank goodness for William, Harry and Kate , they have recently championed just how " normal" mental health issues have become....
....to me mental health issues are as normal as breathing......just like physical issues...and I remember now with some affection that in 1998 that I had counselling about my unstable mother ...therapy that  grounded me better than any self help review would ever done.

Share you mental health stories today...share and be empowered.... eh?
" share it with the group". X

117 comments:

  1. I am dealing with this also.
    Happy that the Royals came out to support this illness. All help is needed !

    cheers, parsnip

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    1. Nice one gayle. Xxxx

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    2. Dr. Ekpen Temple Your spell worked and brought my husband back to me. You gave me support when I was feeling hopeless. I feel truly blessed to have found your email address. I sincerely hope others will take that leap of faith and let you help them as you have helped me, for those of you who want to contact him reach him on his email address: ( ekpentemple@gmail.com ) OR WHATSAPP +2347050270218 you will never regret contacting him… He is capable of restoring your relationship and marriage problems like he did for me.

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  2. It sure sound like your friend had a good time.
    Coffee is on

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  3. opps ...
    I have several auto immune problems from Fibromyalgia, Valley Fever and Arthritis I have had some of theses (Valley Fever) since I was 14. Having pain everyday gets to you I am 72 now and pretty much house bound. I now have a doctor that is helping my depression from the pain.
    When I was 62 the X walked out because he didn't want a sick wife. I was getting worst. I am so much happier now that he is gone. Mental abuse is no fun.

    Hope you had a great visit with your friend.

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  4. I'll eat avocado on anything. I like it best with a spoon. :D

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  5. We are not made perfect; we all have problems. It isn’t easy being human.

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    1. A good starting point x

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  6. I sought help after my parents died ... with my complex, dysfunctional and crazy family it was hardly surprising. A good counsellor did wonders for me and I'm much more perceptive about "what is pushing my buttons" now. However, since I've been ill, I've realised that I was depressed (as someone said, pain IS wearing). It's really hard to recognise that in yourself. Recognising and naming the problem is half the battle... at least it was for me. Reading your blog (and others too) recounting the ups and downs of life has really helped me in the last months. Thank you.

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    1. Diversion is therapeutic in itself Virginia x

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  7. I think depression is more the norm that we think, there are many forms of mental health. I would be surprised if there was a family that did not experience it on some level.
    Currently I am dealing with anger issues from my 50 year old son. Everyone walks on eggshells and just tries to smooth the waters (so to speak) Today I told him that his egotistical & uncaring disrespectful attitude would no longer be acceptable.
    Of course its a lot more involved that I would spill here, but illness starts with a small thing then spirals out of control.

    In fact John, I took Lady Troubridges' advice and took the courage to actually tell him my thoughts and concerns and yes I was very afraid!

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    1. Lady Troubridge would be very proud of you x

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  8. I have had anxiety and depression since puberty. My mother suffered years of the same and my father had a nervous breakdown when I was in my 20's. It took many years to learn to cope as best I could with all the ups and downs, and just when it gets better, life will throw you a curve ball. I find if I have some kind of control of at least one thing in my life, be it keeping my environment organized (shades of OCD anyone?), or losing myself in a good book usually help somewhat. I also suffer from osteoarthritis in my back, so now I have chronic pain in the mix... ah, such is life. Is there any such thing as a normal person...somehow I doubt it-we are all dis-functional to some degree. Thanks John. I love this kind of format to see what others are doing.

    Barb

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    1. We are all,products of our parents either. In learnt behaviour or in genetics

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  9. I am thrilled that more and more people are accepting mental illness as just that, an illness. I firmly believe that things hidden in the dark have a tendency to fester and grow.
    There have certainly been times in my life when if the men in white coats had come round I would have happily gone with them.

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    1. Can I sneak just a small one in please?talking of butchers.I escaped one morning from hospital and headed for the village,near to a churchyard.I fell down a ditch as I was medicated and wobbly.Luckily Parrs sausages van stopped and asked me where I was going .They then kindly returned me back safely x

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  10. Yes, if only more could understand that mental health issues are no different than physical illnesses that need to be treated. Although it is some better now I find there is still a stigma attached to mental health problems. I have a family history of depression and related illnesses but in the era of my parents many self medicated with alcohol as my parents unfortunately did. I have fought depression all my life and it was aggravated by my parents' alcoholism. I have taken medication for over twenty years although I have treatment-resistant depression. It is frustrating and I get by but I don't do well. Still, it can always be worse and I am thankful that it is not.

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    1. So many people self medicate with alcohol and other drugs!

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    2. Trust me to pick food to self-medicate with. Something I can't quit, and often can't control. And clearly my weight must CAUSE my mental health issues, according to my GP if only I lost weight All Would Be Well. Fortunately I have a counsellor who agrees with me that the weight issue is a symptom of maladaptive coping mechanisms... depression and generalised anxiety disorder here, I suspect un-diagnosed ADHD/ADD underlying, and medicated since 2001 (I was away on a work conference and having very strange reactions to my first SSRI when the two towers fell, the whole day was completely surreal, and it means the date is etched into my brain - fortunately current med has fewer side effects for me)

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  11. Being Diabetic, I have to take pills every day which drives me nuts. Does that count?

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  12. Strange attitudes prevail with so many people — understanding and compassion for others visible physical problems, but the unseen ones in our brains/mind often don’t receive the same caring concern. At one time or another in our lives I I would think most of us would benefit from professional intervention of various types — talk, meds, or both.

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  14. I wrote about this on my blog a couple of weeks ago, and found so many other people have had or are having spells of depression in their lives.Mine is controlled by a small dose of tablets every day and I no longer have to be ashamed of taking it, thanks to changing perceptions of depression.

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    1. We need to continue the dialogue
      Continue to normalise

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  15. Depression visits me in a cycle every few years. At the moment I am not depressed but I am very anxious. There is no one I could talk to about this as people around me have their own issues they are dealing with. Government and high profile people come out to talk about this but do not offer services or advice to back this up when people seek help due to lack of funds. I feel very much alone but I paint and draw and create and amuse myself as a form of 'therapy'.

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    1. Art therapy a much more powerful panacea to depression that most people think

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  16. Blimey, don't get me started on my 101 neuroses. Anxiety being the main one. Yes, we all have mental health issues of some sort, which we might or might not try to conceal. It's good that they're becoming less of a stigma and people are more likely to seek help.

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  17. I feel almost guilty saying that I have never had a mental health problem. I have obviously experienced sadness and anxiety but never for long enough or invasive enough to be a diagnosable illness.

    My mum has driven me nuts all my life and I only figured out that she has anxiety when I recognised similarities with a friend who has been diagnosed. It might have made more sense if I'd known she had an actual illness. I still kinda think she enjoys torturing us

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  18. We've been very open for a long time about our own issues. I have lived with clinical depression almost my entire life. Finally got help when i was 32 years old. I've been on medication most of the years since although it took me a long time to appreciate my depression was truly an illness and not just something I wasn't trying hard enough to manage.

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  19. My daughter comes home from uni this week. This means 5 adults in the house, 3 with mental health issues. My son is suicidally depressed (again) but is getting help and he feels 'safe' with us and his girlfriend. My daughter has anxiety, social anxiety, depression and PTSD. She is on sertraline and doing well. Soon she and my eldest (okayest adult in the house) will be flat sharing. I am on sertraline too which helps with the anxiety, but I still feel depressed. Maybe because of kids moving on, reactionary depression because of middle son and major life dramas but mostly because I am married to a narcisstic personality type. Aka 'The Fuckwit'. I've always managed my (undiagnosed) postnatal depression and pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder quietly. Until the menopause knocked me for six and made me weaker. There is depression in my family and anxiety in hubs family side. None of us abuse alcohol or drugs so I think we're doing well. This is half my story. The rest is a soap opera. x

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    1. I was married to a violent narcissistic fuckwit too so I know what you are going through. Happily for me he ran away but for the first time in my life I had mental problems of my own - but they cleared up when he left!

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  20. I am always so happy to read your blog...I suffer with mental health issues and find days hard at the moment, as I have people around that don't understand how debilitating it can be, but you brighten my day with your nutty blog..have a great time with your friend and thank you for being you...honest, funny and a great hearted person x

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    1. Perhaps with comments like your people will now understand just a little more

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  21. A loving husband and family helped me get through 6 years of depression which is very tough if not tougher for them. After losing a baby and treated for the wrong reason I was eventually diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. Litrally reborn at 30 years old and my son was born when I was 32 and I've had a good life ever since even with my present illness.
    Greetings Maria x

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  22. For the partners of those with mental illness life is difficult.

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    1. And those stories are so often never heard and those people do often inadequately supported

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    2. Rachel my husband was diagnosed bipolar and I hung in there for so long but in the end a partner can only take so much - on top of the alcohol and violence. In the end I had to save myself.

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    3. I am saving myself. I was advised about this the first time round 20 years ago. x

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  23. I have a daughter who is bipolar and a husband with anxiety and depression who self medicates with alcohol, life is fun!

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    1. I used to self medicate with alcohol Hester-but for the last 9 years I have not touched a drop and seem to cope.The headaches were too debilitating afterwards x

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  24. In my family we've had 3 generations of women who have all had severe depression (2 had nervous breakdowns) and all suffered from alcoholism. It was only the youngest one who really had any effective treatment; the older two were never properly diagnosed and the problems had to be dealt with in the immediate family. It was possibly due to a lack of understanding from the doctors (I'm not blaming them - this goes back to the late 50s - but as the decades have passed the issue of mental health is seen as a real condition). It was harrowing to say the least witnessing this; but for them I think it must have been far far worse and I have the utmost sympathy.

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  25. Depression, a grey fog that dulls down everything and prevents you seeing any way out or any hope of escape. Thankfully most of it turned out to be the add on to a B12 deficiency but it still creeps back sometimes. I've learnt to weather it with creative hobbies - and can even make bad jokes about weathering the fog of depression... ba dump ching.

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  26. I grew up with a Mum who had a lot of issues from her childhood. She would sulk and not speak to me for days if I had in some way upset her, which was very upsetting. She was always trying to turn my siblings and our Dad,against one another, which unfortunately we didn't realize until we had left home. I have low self esteem and anxiety. I have made a massive effort to give my daughter a loving and confident childhood...

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  27. I've taken antidepressants since I had fybromyalgia when my son was young and had asthma so I would be up all night with him. I was always tired out. I am happy and support friends with their difficulties and if one little pill helps me out so be it xx

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  28. I had no idea that avocados could in fact **** but I guess that that is how baby avocados are made.

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  29. 4 years of therapy to deal with my abusive home upbringing and my abusive ex-husband. NO ONE uses me as their personal doormat any more!

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    1. My hero!!!! I hold on to your story when times are hard. I know there is hope.

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    2. THERE IS, LINDA! I refuse to be bullied any more!

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  30. I grew up in a house full of undiagnosed mental health challenges. My mum did an admirable (read, unintentionally destructive) job of keeping these a secret from the outside world. A world which may, potentially, have ‘rescued’ us from some pretty awful times. My up-close experiences of the suicidal thoughts and attempts and eating disorders of others made me feel I was the strong survivor when I left home and married young. That feeling has slowly crashed and burned over the years- although I am on my way back up. I ought to bloody well be, at 38.
    The reality is that I live with daily anxiety and fear and cyclical depression. Counselling has been extremely helpful, as has reclaiming the narrative of my childhood (that process is only just beginning- thanks for letting me own it)!

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  31. I've had severe mental health issues in the past, but thanks to the amazing NHS especially the Crisis team in my area, I'm still here and functioning. At present all is calm-ish and stable-ish, but I'm very aware that this is something that will be a lifelong friend. I say friend, as it's not an enemy, it's just a part of who I am and I accept that.
    Huge love to any one battling with the "Black Dog" and his many and varied companions x

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  32. I have only once suffered from severe depression, following a very traumatic incident at work. I resisted medication for a long time, but my doctor was truly wonderful when I did eventually seek help. Although it's a part of my life I never want to revisit, it's something I'm glad I went through, it's certainly an insight.

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  33. I find it's better to be silent as you tumble down the rabbit hole. That way when you climb back out and dust yourself off no one knows.

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    1. Silence isn't the answer me thinks

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  34. All so long ago and far away now. I barely recognise that 13-year-old on the Librium and Valium. Today there are much bigger issues to deal with...

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  35. Debbie1:14 pm

    I’m on day two with medication. We shall see. I’ve already told a few people which I wouldn’t have done a few years ago. Of course, with trump as president, we should all be medicated!

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    1. Avoid politics and issues that you have no control over. That will ease your mind.

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    2. I was brought up, where an admission of depression was looked on as something to be ashamed of. Thank goodness the "pull yourself together" mentality is long gone.

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  36. sorry but silently falling down the rabbit hole is a terrible thing. you are just adding isolation to the problem. And there should always be "someone who knows" ...

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    1. I'm just saying it as it is for me ... there's no need to tell me I'm even doing that wrong :-(

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    2. ... and for the record it's isolation I crave. It's not being able to find it causes my problems.

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    3. I understand you.
      All the years of walking on eggshells the best day of my life was the divorce. I lived in California you divide everything. I waited till my last child was 18 before I really stood up to the x. When he walked out I said ok but what a jerk He was a blackhole that sucked the life out of everything.
      I live now out in the country not a city love the wildlife and quiet. Of course my illness keep me house bound but I will get better.
      You take care of yourself !

      cheers, gayle

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  37. My mother had 2 sisters and a brother. She had me when she was very young. So I was cared for and loved by young people and loving grand parents. * my father died in an accident before I was born*
    One aunt, "the Beauty" was slightly unstable .. married often, had a few children, never that happy but the most gentle person I can ever remember. She never grabbed, pushed, shouted or scowled.
    She had terrible sense when it came to who to marry.
    So she did it often.
    She ended up in an asylum worthy of a Kathy Bates film.
    She came out changed but thankfully not completely.
    These days, meds would have fixed her or at least made life manageable. Being silent just locks you in with yourself and your problems. Being able to talk to someone is a gift and a step to being well again.
    Never think that it is not important for a person to have someone to talk to.
    Never put yourself in the position of wishing you had listened when that person needed to talk ... when it is too late .

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  38. Anonymous1:30 pm

    I have a illness that rarely flares up (years between events) and the treatment is a large dose of steroids over a two-week period. The manic and anger effects caused has given me great insight into the lives of far too many others, as well as a great collection of shoes I was unable to resist. The humbling empathy has been a gift.

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  39. Your mind is just like your physical body. Your mind becoming unwell from time to time is surely inevitable. It can present in many forms. Mine is extreme anxiety. People who say they have never suffered from mental health issues are probably in denial or fibbing a little bit.

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  40. My brother, deeply bi-polar in the seventies, with only lithium and poor counseling. He killed himself. His daughter, bi-polar, forties, currently in an unmedicated manic state. My sister, who self-medicates. My daughter, trapped in a cult and cult counseled for years. She is in good treatment now, but such a mess to untangle. Her children I had to take. Two bullies who blew off counseling and would not change. The child they made suicidal. Sometimes I think effing hell.....I have a counselor who helps me make reasonable decisions.

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  41. As a teenager I was anorexic.I ate very little and sometimes ate cream cakes and then took laxatives.I threw my meals in the dustbin when my parents weren't looking. I was weepy as a teenager and my mum took me to the doctors.He prescribed Valium.I soon became addicted.This was the 70 s.I had repeat prescriptions and only very rarely saw a doctor.My parents took me to see a private doctor eventually and I was by then poorly mentally and I was taken to a day centre attached to a mental hospital.Mixing with other fragile people seemed to exacerbate my situation.I then was taken to a mental hospital to stay at 19 years of age.I think it was for 6 weeks. I remember saying to a doctor ''I feel much better now thankyou''& I was I was released.From then on I made some very bad choices in life and dogs have been my happiness x

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  42. Currently taking care of my terminally ill husband at home. Our local Hospice has been great, but it does take its toll, mentally and physically.

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    1. Again ..we need to care for the carers x

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  43. I shared this previously but I'll repeat it. My ex husband insisted I go to a therapist who was HIS patient, because I have had migraines since childhood, which DH said were caused by chronic anxiety.[let me mention DH is not a mental heath professional but an eye specialist]. This woman was a whacko, she proudly had reinvented herself by [mis]spelling *her* name backwards, as if my name were Yzzil. After a few visits for big bucks, not insured, she one evening heaved a big sigh and said, "I am so sick and tired of you sitting here bitching and moaning." I found the ''bitching'' characterization especially offensive and unprofessional, and hey, my buck, my bitching? I stood up, said, "I hope you don't expect to be paid for this or any future visits, goodbye." And I left. LOL She DID bill me but I never paid and of course never went back. Therapy, what a crock of s&^%. [my opinion only.] And of course true mental illness should be treated by a professional, as any illness would be.

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    1. One psychiatrist ask to speak to me alone and my mum waited outside.He asked me to explain what was wrong with me-I didn't know & just said that I thought I was fat-he got angry and sent me out of the room and fetched my mum -mum was then upset too as she thought he was unproffesional.Another one as soon as I sat down had his hand down his trousers and I was embarrassed and nervous as I was alone and in hospital and he asked me if I had any sex problems.I was a young teenager x

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    2. Let's hope these negative experiences were the exceptions rather than any norms

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    3. Well I had more than the one above, other negatives--perhaps more bec my ex spent our years together trying to make me into his preferred and ideal partner, and not so much because I actually needed help. So that has no bearing on the need or reality that care, possibly good care, may exist if one needs it/ finds it/ can afford it/ accepts the stigma.

      lizzy

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  44. I've was seeing a psychologist earlier this year, and while I can't say it made my particular issue go away, it was good to talk about it.

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    1. Better out than in kirk

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    2. GD. The issue I spoke of.

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  45. Mine went something like this:

    GP: Antidepressants?
    Me: I'm not depressed.
    GP: Try them anyway.
    Me: No thanks.
    GP: Well, there's nothing else.

    CBT Counsellor: It's not working.
    Me: I know
    Counsellor: I can't help you.
    Me: I know

    So. I 'dug deep', and ground out each day with the mantra: Life's shit....get used to it.

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    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    2. I deleted a typo that made my post senseless. Just had said, ''Yes! Exactly'', about the conversations above.

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  46. You need a good Samaritan

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  47. Anonymous6:54 pm

    I love you, John Gray! Anxiety, though, I hate. I hate the thud/thunk in my chest, the breathlessness and even my bit of arrhythmia. And then I had an epiphany. It's anxiety, for pete's sake. It's not terminal cancer or end-stage lung disease. It's not leukemia or Hodgkin's. It's not MS. It's not ALS. It's anxiety. I am fortunate because I know there are SO many suffering from mental health issues far more severe. So I'll get some Buspar and shut the hell up. Mindy L

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    1. The pouring out of adrenaline in an anxiety attack often makes people feel they are dying . They are in fact physically stronger . The hormone just.makes you feel like shit

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    2. I think I love you too John Gray xx

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    3. ps Love to all who have posted, done it, got the t shirt, the citlopram !!! xxxx

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  48. I remember my husband suffering from depression in the 80's very traumatic I had a four year old and a two week old baby as well as looking after him but there was funny sides to it as well such as he was in St Lukes in Huddersfield for a month and while he was in an Irish one armed man came in he had tried to gas himself and because it was taking too long he decided to sit down and have a cigarette BOOM ended up on the pavement outside. There was young men walking in with us at the weekend and next thing you knew they had tried to suffocate themselves cut their wrists the 5ft professor that more often than not ended up in the padded cell with violence towards the staff but there again he would sit for hours with my four year old and talk to him and offer him sweets. I am glad it is so out in the open now and people are able to talk about it . Back then it was taboo you kept it to yourself within the family or it was never talked about.

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    1. When I was a patient an intimidating lady who was poorly kept marching around shouting about religion -she got quite violent and the nurses had a struggle and she was then placed in a padded cell.She was banging very heavily on the door.Several of us went to the door-it was awful.She died of a heart attack .I used to wander around to the different wards\rooms and there were some very old people there and one lady who I thought seemed fine said she had been there all her life because she had a baby.There were others only partly dressed.This hospital is now closed x

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    2. I saw similar odd/ funny/ bizarre sights as a psychiatric nurse.
      I was once hit by a turd flung from 30 feet away.
      It hit me on the back of my head and slid down my shirt collar

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    3. Anonymous11:23 pm

      Glad you weren't facing the other way with ya mouth open John. x

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  49. I am a chronic depressive. I take one antidepressant a day. Am happily married 25yrs last Wed and have 2 son's and work as a nurse. My worse time was after having my first son. My mum had died I had a fractous windy baby and knew no other mums. I managed after 13months to get myself together. I won't say I didn't feel suicidal. My gran was a great comfort to me at that time. She told me that her brother in law way back in the 1930's found the body of a mum and baby in the river. She had post partum psychosis and had kilked herself and the child. It never left him as he and his wife failed to conceive a child. However I have seen what suicide does to those left. I am a smiling depressive. You are right it can hit anyone from all walks of life even royalty. Thank God times have changed for the better. Otherwise I would be in an asylum probably with a few off of here.


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  50. Sorry to comment again-years ago my mum soon as she gave birth to me tried to commit suicide.She went to a mental hospital but she had signed herself in and only stayed one day.She did see a psychyatrist for a while who must have had his own problems who later shot himself in a wood close to were my dad worked.My aunt-dads older sister also tried to kill herself after giving birth at last having several previous miscarriages.She loved it in hospital though and knitted a lot and didn't want to return home x

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    1. I worked on a psychiatric mother and baby unit for a few years. Childbirth , stress, depression, hormones.........some of the most severe mental illness' I have ever witnessed

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  51. I was committed after the birth of my first son. My Father loved me enough to take me to the hospital. He knew I wasn't right.

    Inpatient care for six weeks and then home (1000 km from my parents and friends) to a baby that I loved but couldn't stand to be near. A husband who always put his career first and a climate where it's winter six months of the year.

    I survived, had a second child with a mild depression after his birth. Again I was alone and far from my family. The husband's job always came first.

    I realized during this time my Mother was not good for me. Her mother died when she was in her early 20s She has nod idea of how to have a relationship with an adult child. It's her way or the highway.

    I ended my first marriage at her urging. Had children because she wanted to be a grandmother. Nothing I have ever done has pleased her.

    I cut the string for the final time at New Years. I have nothing to do with her.

    My sons want me to visit her but I know that my mental health is more important to me. Over the years it's been hell and after one of her attacks, I get depressed and it takes months to get over it.

    You can pick our friends but you can't pick your family. You also don't have to see or be part of your birth family.


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  52. Using medical terminology from the United States, I have major depression, recurrent, severe and generalized anxiety disorder. I manage with four different medications and see a therapist every other week. I am so thankful for the meds and my therapist; but very few people outside of my friends--and certainly no one at work--knows I struggle with depression and anxiety. Things are getting better, but it's still not "safe" in terms of job security to admit what I struggle with. When I worked for a major hospital system, I did find help and used the Americans with Disability Act for some workplace accommodations.

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  53. I've been curious about this new phenomenom of "avocado toast". It sounds good to me since I like both of the components.

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    1. Avocado toast has been around for quite a few years. The fad may even have passed! [because so many people now must be gluten free, ie No Toast] So you didn't miss anything. Avocado belongs in guacamole. Or salad. The toast can be croutons I suppose, if gluten is tolerated.

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  55. You have stirred us all up again, John :) ....so says this alcoholic drug addict who has been clean and sober 34 years.

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  56. I'm at the other end: I treat mental health. I am very glad to see people less hiding this in shame but sharing and getting support they need.

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  57. Your readers' accounts moving, some distressing (for the person suffering). A caring mention for those at the receiving end. And I am in awe how open your readers are in what, after all, is a public space.

    However, and I wouldn't be me if I didn't point this out: There is a lot of mention that stigma isn't attached any longer to mental health issues (or at least less so than in times gone). Is that so? Let me give you an example:

    Why is being "accused" of being mentally ill, being recommended to seek "help" used as an insult/personal attack in some bloggers' comment boxes? Why are long distance laymen's diagnoses freely dished out? Even you do it, John. Surprises me. No stigma? Are you sure? Why not shout at someone "You have got a broken leg, Bastard. Go and see a doctor. Get a cast! And limp off my blog!"?

    U

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    1. As you have brought this up, not I ,
      I shall answer but I will not be drawn into further debate or argument with this.
      I commented ( genuiningly) that I thought your obsession and fixation with slights from certain bloggers was psychologically odd. I had concerns for your mental state

      Discussion is now over

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    2. I wasn't necessarily referring to what's been dished out to me. It happens on many blogs, to many people.

      I was making an observation which, unfortunately, you haven't addressed as valid as it is. The day you'll say to me "Yes, Ursula, actually that's an interesting point" or "ok, you are right, mea culpa", will be the day I rejoice. Anyway, I am not here to cause aggro. We have made our peace - so I hope; and I respect that in order to be welcome here it's best to not be critical, best not to throw up an alternative/uncomfortable perspective, best not to be questioning.

      And, as you so often say when comments are not to your liking the discussion (here) is over. Alas, it is an interesting subject to discuss in general terms. Which I may do on my own blog, exploring the "stigma" of mental illness and how it manifests in both use of language and communication.

      U

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  58. One of our daughters always picked the wrong guy until her mid 20's. She decided to stop dating all together and go to counseling. It was a wonderful experience for her and lead her to a very good choice, which she married 5 years ago and they are dong quite well. When my husband was recently diagnosed with terminal cancer and his mother was taken off life support the day before, our daughter flew here the next morning while her husband held down the fort at home. She has encouraged me to go to grief counseling and found me a good grief counselor right away. I wouldn't be standing on my feet without her. Counseling made her a stronger woman, and a woman able to make good choices. We all benefited from her year of counseling, and we continue to benefit still.

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  59. No more advacardo on toast

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  60. Ahh John.. I would so like to comment here... but I fear it would be too long a post and it would seem I am hogging the post... not because I am any worse off than anyone else... but I haven't yet worked out how to abbreviate my "journey" as it is all still too raw and raspy.

    Jo in Auckland, NZ

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  61. I thank all the commentators
    Shows how brave and how important everyone's experience has been xxx

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  62. Yes, mental illness ought to be treated and accepted by society like any other illness/disease.
    I was lucky to have the father I had (still have) to give his children balance when things got rough for my bipolar mother.
    I thank the gods that he decided to stay with us because it did get pretty scary at times.

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  63. Really a beautiful blog.It is very astonishing and marvelous design.

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  64. Dr. Ekpen Temple Your spell worked and brought my husband back to me. You gave me support when I was feeling hopeless. I feel truly blessed to have found your email address. I sincerely hope others will take that leap of faith and let you help them as you have helped me, for those of you who want to contact him reach him on his email address: ( ekpentemple@gmail.com ) OR WHATSAPP +2347050270218 you will never regret contacting him… He is capable of restoring your relationship and marriage problems like he did for me.

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I love all comments Except abusive ones from arseholes