" What's the matter with you Albert?"
I was on the loo when I heard Mrs Trellis talking to the cat over the garden wall.
I'd been sitting there for half an hour, reading the news on my iPad.
Apparently this heatwave is set to stay for another two weeks or so.
I wondered just what Mrs Trellis was referring to as Albert had moments before ambled into the bathroom as I read, so I peeped through the bathroom window and sang out
" what's up Joyce !"
( yes Mrs Trellis' first name is indeed Joyce)
Mrs Trellis looked somewhat confused for a moment, as she tried to locate where my voice was coming from and as she pulled greyhound Blue around in a circle away from Albert who was sat on the wall swishing his tail in irritation, she sang out
"Albert is covered in paint"
I was suddenly embarrassed as I realised what had happened
I had previously treated my psoriasis knees with a thick film of sudocrem before Albert had confidently ambled into the bathroom to head butt me his morning hello .
I was on the loo when I heard Mrs Trellis talking to the cat over the garden wall.
I'd been sitting there for half an hour, reading the news on my iPad.
Apparently this heatwave is set to stay for another two weeks or so.
I wondered just what Mrs Trellis was referring to as Albert had moments before ambled into the bathroom as I read, so I peeped through the bathroom window and sang out
" what's up Joyce !"
( yes Mrs Trellis' first name is indeed Joyce)
Mrs Trellis looked somewhat confused for a moment, as she tried to locate where my voice was coming from and as she pulled greyhound Blue around in a circle away from Albert who was sat on the wall swishing his tail in irritation, she sang out
"Albert is covered in paint"
I was suddenly embarrassed as I realised what had happened
I had previously treated my psoriasis knees with a thick film of sudocrem before Albert had confidently ambled into the bathroom to head butt me his morning hello .
Housemaids knee! A house husband's work is never done. lol x
ReplyDeleteAin't that the truth
DeleteHow sweet! ;-)
ReplyDeleteI swear by Sudocrem. Not only does it keep babies' bottoms rash free, I'd eat it if it were edible.
ReplyDeleteWhy do you sit on the toilet for thirty minutes? It's not good for you. Though, arguably (not that I am convinced) and if you don't need to strain, the toilet is as good a place as any to sit down.
Psoriasis? Really? Is it confined to your knees and elbows or is it all over your body? As autoimmune diseases go it sure is highly visible. And itchy. An uncle of mine had it so bad he went to the Red Sea, practically paid for on his doctor's prescription.
Dare say, by now Albert will have licked the damage off his fur. Stand by for a white laced furball put at your feet.
To summon up: Business as usual at Chateau Gris.
U
knees only and it's fading fast. Probably stress related
DeleteI am trying not to imagine the ring round your nether region caused by the toilet seat. But I must admit I often do the Times 2 word puzzles from such a position, Glad you are home.
ReplyDeleteIt's only a half hour and I hadn't bleached
Deleteback to normal at the little cottage...
ReplyDeleteYes it's all shit and piss
Delete"No, Mrs Trellis, Albert is the cat that got the cream"
ReplyDeleteSorry. You were on the toilet and peeped through the window to talk to Mrs. Trellis... What was the rest of the story?
ReplyDeleteDon't you read on the loo? I thought most men do
DeleteJohn: I read on the loo. I've just never peeped out the window and had conversations with the neighbors.
DeleteYou should have had a dip in the sea while you were away for those knees. Seawater really does help. I use Exorex (on prescription) when my gets really bad. It's plant based (bananas).
ReplyDeleteI did.....it flared up in Spain but now it's just a healthy pink
DeleteThe cat that got the cream - I love it.
ReplyDeleteBoom boom
DeleteGawd! I just LOVE you :)
ReplyDeleteI can't think why
Deletedid she figure out where you were? I bet she has by now.....
ReplyDeleteYes.....nothing was on show
DeleteI love Albert!
ReplyDeleteSo does albert
DeleteIt’s raining in Somerset! Not normally headline news but today it is, and the plumber called us about replacing the showers, a saga that has taken two plumbers ten months, much angst and no action.
ReplyDeleteLove the flowers in your previous post. I had a wander around the town of T in May when I escaped from ferrying my mother in law to the Tweed Mills outlet shop with my wife. Looked very pretty in the sun but I imagine a little bleak in the middle of winter.
Glad you returned in one piece, cheap flights and airport security have kept me grounded since 2015.
All the best
Charles
Charles do tell! What did security do?
DeleteI wonder if Albert's skin will be nicer? My mother would scream through the door, "that is not a library or reading room!" - some things never leave us.
ReplyDeleteLOL, Living with 3 cats, yes, 3, god help me ... this is familiar..
ReplyDeleteOh, Albert!
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of my, then 2 year old daughter, who is now 35. I'd just had her little brother and was busy feeding him when I was aware that all had gone quiet. I peered over the back of the sofa and my daughter was sat looking up at me with the best part of an industrial size tub of sudocrem plastered all over her hair. It literally took weeks to wash it out. I still cringe when I see a tub of sudocrem.
ReplyDeleteChristina, your memory made me laugh. Reminds me of my sister (six years younger than me). She was about seven or so when she mixed no, not Sudocrem, but Nivea with my mother's favourite red lipstick. When my mother asked her "What's that smeared all over your face?" my sister denied all knowledge. I was incredulous. Talk about evidence staring you in the face. Which, no doubt, the reason my mother got uncharacteristically angry, pulled her into the bathroom and closed the door behind them. It was the start of my sister's life time career of deception. Not that she isn't a great person. She is. Just watch your Nivea. And your lipstick.
DeleteU
We used to cover nurses hair with sudocrem when they left a placement ,
DeleteThen we showered them with any crap from they dinner trolley
Ah! The intimacies of village life!
ReplyDeleteChristina's story reminds me of a female friend of mine, she was getting ready to leave for the airport to visit with her cranky in-laws, her two year old daughter plastered her hair with petroleum jelly just minutes before the taxi showed up.
ReplyDeleteResult!, ,,,!!!!!!!!
DeleteI can advise The Puzzler on the loo. Not for your knees of course ;-)
ReplyDeleteI love the news!
DeleteOne of the reasons I enjoy following you, reading your posts, (on the loo or off) is that It becomes a delight to read all comments, and replies to comments . . .
ReplyDeleteThere is no other “blog post, poster” like yours/you!
A story a day!
My iPad often follows me “to the loo!”
Lynne, often the comments are more interesting than the original post
DeleteThat took me back a very long time. My daughter was about two when she found my lipstick.... it was up the wall, up the curtains, all over the windowsill and very liberally spread all over my daughter. When I asked if she had been touching my makeup she completely denied it. How we all kept our face straight is beyond me.
ReplyDeleteNow. I wonder what Winnie would like with make up?
DeleteET
Alberts been greased. If he licks it off can it make him sick?
ReplyDeleteI was wondering that also.
DeleteAnd me.
DeleteI caught him after this photo was taken and gave him a brusque rub with a damp flannel
DeleteProbably not [cause reaction/ illness] or it wouldn't be sold for infants.
DeleteGod bless Steve Jobs for inventing the best toilet sitting device in history. Oh, and portable dirty pics and videos*
ReplyDelete*so I've heard. ;-)
Well, at least Albert will have a rash free, healthy skin under all that sleek fur!
ReplyDeleteThe stray cats that I feed deliberately leave their tiny paw prints on my car after I wash it. It looks like a stylish paint job. Much preferable to the poop the birds like to leave on my car every time I park the car under the tree for shade from the heat. Having stray cats scatters away those filthy birds!
Our little cat visits whoever is up first using the bathroom but as yet never been covered in sudocrem x
ReplyDeleteHe hasn't lived
DeleteMy cat has a habit of headbutting me when I've got a mug full of tea...he's well practised as it invariably spills on me and misses him by a country mile! Arilx
ReplyDeleteAlbert's bad habit is to follow us on our walks
DeleteHe's not good in traffic.
Tonight a nearby tom looked amazed when me the four dogs and Albert in the middle of walked past
Sudocrem is brilliant for all sorts of things .... I always have a pot handy ! Albert probably doesn’t think so ! XXXX
ReplyDeleteI've put some on Mary's sore ear
DeleteI'm trying to figure out what sudocrem is. Does it smell like camphor?
ReplyDeletePsoriasis could also be a lack of vitamin B12 John.
Greetings Maria x
It is primarily a nappy rash cream Maria, for babies, but is used for all sorts of situations where a little dab of cream is called for.
DeleteOr a big dab as in my case
DeleteThank you xx
DeleteI've heard of people having their bald heads licked by a cow to make their hair grow back. Maybe it'd work for your psoriasis?
ReplyDeleteNatural remedies are always the best. Some doctors are nothing but drug dealers.
DeleteI'd love a cow to lick my feet
DeleteI’ll do it 🤣 XXXX
DeleteDirty gal
DeleteAnd what, John would then get hairy knees?
DeleteMy Blackwell has stopped eating and has lost a ton of weight. We've tried everything but have no solution. Sad to see a creature that can't tell you what's wrong get ill.
ReplyDeleteLiver function blood test may be something
DeleteI've been using sudocrem on my arm as I have been bitten by a mosquito I suspect.My lovely lily has been to the vets twice recently with a skin problem and had lab tests.I may have to be referred x
ReplyDeleteHave you nowhere more appealing to sit and read? And...I hope you did not explain to poor nosy Joyce.
ReplyDeletelizzy
Most men read a paper on the loo lizzy
Delete30 minutes on the loo? Did you hear they've discovered rings around Uranus? (12 y/o boy runs off laughing)
ReplyDeleteHahaha!
DeleteJo, in Auckland, NZ