Holiday Haircut

It's as hot here in Trelawnyd as it is in Sitges .
80 degrees and rising.
Half my family are in Spain , the other half , including myself will be going tomorrow.
It's Ann's 70th birthday tomorrow..
There should be twelve of us going!
I've just had my holiday haircut.
My barber told me I looked too straight for Sitges
(She went last year with a gay friend and  reliably informed me that she didn't sleep for three days !)
I intend to sleep for three days.I told her.

Big thanks to Affable despot Jason who is giving me a lift to the airport at some ungodly time and also to Islwyn who will be walking the dogs before the Prof arrives home.
I will leave you with the above video. It serves no more purpose than to provoke discussion on a boring post
Hey ho

Pride

🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈

Before I came out  , I led a busy, social if fairly asexual life.
I had a large urban family of friends , most of whom I still keep in touch with, had a good job in a city that was as interesting as it was grubby and was as happy as I could ever be.
But I was gay and then hadn't quite let the cat out of the bag to myself so to speak

In this Pride week I recalled a moment that helped turn the tables on my slightly apathetic closet lifestyle
And it was all to do with Sheffield's Central city library's reference reading room.
I used to go there on a spare day off or a morning before a late shift.
I always liked the desks that all pointed in the same direction . The fact you only saw the back of people's heads as they studied and the delightfully Deco wooden book filled shelves and the giant  metal rimmed windows that filtered the light from Surrey Street and Tudor Square

That day I was reading. I can't remember what ...but I do remember  a young man walking by my seat from behind with his rucksack creaking as he brushed past. He half turned his head as he passed and dropped a small piece of paper in front of me before walking to the front of the seating area then turning right and back out of the room.
He had thick dark hair and wore a untidy green jumper like students often do.
I was suddenly conscious that other people may have seen his note drop and I felt strangely embarrassed by it, but carefully I opened the paper and read a Sheffield telephone number proceeded by the name Alan.
I had been cruised!
Cruised in the Sheffield City Library!

How exciting!
I may have not fully recognised my own gayness back then but thankfully someone else had and from almost nowhere and one phone call later I had my first proper gay date with a guy called Alan who had a scruffy green jumper and who lived in Sheffield.🌈🌈🌈

Mental Health

I'm meeting an old friend for brunch today.
It's at Bryn Williams at Porth Eirias .......they do a fucking fantastic avocado on toast there even if the service can be a little slow .
( google it if you want)!!!
My friend has a few mental health issues which we both often  talk about and laugh at.
Mental health issues are no different to any other issues I think...they are as part of a person as their  shoe size!
We all need support and a plan in order to deal with them...
And thank fuck most people now realise this is a truism ....it's part of modern life

Also thank goodness for William, Harry and Kate , they have recently championed just how " normal" mental health issues have become....
....to me mental health issues are as normal as breathing......just like physical issues...and I remember now with some affection that in 1998 that I had counselling about my unstable mother ...therapy that  grounded me better than any self help review would ever done.

Share you mental health stories today...share and be empowered.... eh?
" share it with the group". X

Lady Troubridge

It's 23 degrees in the garden and Winnie has been given strict instructions to lie nipple down of the cool concrete of the shady patio.
For the next five days I am on my own in the cottage and I have been musing what to do with myself today.
The roads have been busy with day trippers, so after buying salad items, crab sticks and lime cordial and half toying with a trip to Colwyn Bay, I have contented myself with a comfortable sit under the garden parasol with the 1926 publication of Etiquette and Entertaining by Lady Troubridge
I'm presently reading the chapter entitled Modern maids and how to use them! 

I'm liking Lady Troubridge, her encouraging words to the faint hearted 1920's housewife is true spirt that won the war stuff.

"We are not all born with courage, but it's latent in all of us and can and should be pulled out whenever the occasion arises. Pulled out for all these fears. For the little ones first, by way of practice , and then, when you've made friends with courage , you'll only have to stretch out your hand to find it materialising at command. .............never ever be afraid . Be sad and sorry sometimes , because we all must be that way now and then . Be perplexed because life is not all plain sailing . But never let life be too much for you. It won't if you take as your motto these three words which I'll repeat again........NEVER BE AFRAID." 

Lady Troubridge

" Who lives here?"

It's a beautiful summer morning and the cottage windows are wide open.
I was ironing a shirt in the kitchen when I heard the ramblers outside.
They had walked up through Graham's sheep fields and were heading for the Gop.
I heard a tinkle of a laugh and a woman's voice.
" who do you think lives here?" She asked
The women were playing a sort of game children do
Who lives in a house like this?....
The game had started next door when the walkers had spied sailor John's homebuilt sailing boat
I paused my ironing to listen
I wasn't surprised with the comments
" lovely little garden"
" nice flowers in the window "
" awwwww look at that little dog asleep" ( George)
" tasteful" 
" an older lady with class?" ( I liked that one)
" no an older couple " whispered " underpants hanging!" 
" no look at the kitchen tiles, very retro , it's someone younger "
" they have a wood stove whoever they are?"
" a holiday cottage perhaps?" 
" no there's an antique soup tureen on the window ledge... its someone older and they own it"  

I couldn't resist joining the discussion so I popped my head around the kitchen wall
" actually it's a middle aged homosexual with fabulous taste who lives here !" I trilled
And the women all cackled with good humour

Lighten Your Heart

Well I don't know about you but after the earlier post I am in need of a lifting of the heart.

Have a look at this video, it will do the trick.

To red light funding of the movie The Greatest Showman ,the studio big wigs got together with the cast and crew to run through some of the libretto. The proposed star of the show , Hugh Jackman had been told he could not sing at the event due to recent cancer surgery on his nose but in this moment captured on film, he couldn't stop himself taking over from his understudy and the result is pure magic

For Joe And Kerry

who lost a dear friend on Tuesday

The Power of the Dog by Kipling

There is sorrow enough in the natural way
From men and women to fill our day;
And when we are certain of sorrow in store,
Why do we always arrange for more?
Brothers and sisters, I bid you beware 
Of giving your heart to a dog to tear.

Buy a pup and your money will buy
Love unflinching that cannot lie
Perfect passion and worship fed
By a kick in the ribs or a pat on the head.
Nevertheless it is hardly fair
To risk your heart for a dog to tear.

When the fourteen years which Nature permits
Are closing in asthma, or tumour, or fits,
And the vet’s unspoken prescription runs
To lethal chambers or loaded guns,
Then you will find – it’s your own affair, –
But … you’ve given your heart to a dog to tear.

When the body that lived at your single will,
With its whimper of welcome, is stilled (how still!),
When the spirit that answered your every mood
Is gone – wherever it goes – for good,
You will discover how much you care, 
And will give your heart to a dog to tear!

We’ve sorrow enough in the natural way,
When it comes to burying Christian clay.
Our loves are not given, but only lent,
At compound interest of cent per cent,
Though it is not always the case, I believe,
That the longer we’ve kept ’em, the more do we grieve;
For, when debts are payable, right or wrong,
A short-time loan is as bad as a long –
So why in – Heaven (before we are there) 
Should we give our hearts to a dog to tear?

Repeat Performance

For Ellen

Ocean's Eight

The film begins with a white faced Sandra Bullock in prison fatigues talking to camera.
She has lank dark long hair and is botoxed to buggery
My sister turned to me and whispered " Bloody hell It's Michael Jackson!"
Unfortunately Bullock does indeed resemble the plastic pop star and her expressionless face takes something vital away from this the latest of the " Ocean" comedy heist franchise.
It's hard to make a good comedy when the leading lady looks somewhat vacant .
Which is a shame.
Having said that Ocean's Eight is what it is.......it's an entertaining heist romp with a star cast of female crooks stealing the diamonds from a greedy old fashion house that can take the loss. The " ladies" are therefore all sympathetic Robin Hood types and although Bullock is no charm filled George Clooney you do end up rooting that the gems are indeed swiped from the bad guys.
As the complicated and totally unbelievable heist plan is uncovered we meet the mixed bag of lady criminals recruits.   Helena Bonham Carter ( looking like the wreck of the Hesperus) , an underused Cate Blanchett, Rihanna in dreadlocks et al all have their brief parts to play in the comedy romp but surprisingly it is Ann Hathaway as a not-so-dumb superstar actress who showcases the robbery diamonds and James Corden as an insurance investigator who turns up at the end of the movie who shine above the ensemble performances. Their turns are naturally funny and satisfying.

Ocean's Eight is a light , frothy romp. And at that level, it entertains.
7/10

Sulky Bitch

I was completing some paperwork and videoed her as I was doing so.

She wasn't happy at being ignored

Bulldogs cannot stand being ignored

Constants

My Sister Ann Williams BEM ( British Empire Medal)

I have known my sisters for 56 years.
56!
It's the longest relationships I've ( or they've ) ever had.
I'm sure that Ann won't mind me stating that she is 70 this year, actually her birthday is next week and she has arranged an open house celebration at a shabby chic hotel in Sitges to mark the event.
Circumstances meant that we were unable to go, but finally after a bit of wrangling and some   Herculean easyJet Internet work I've managed to sort a flight and have organised a whistlestop jaunt to Spain .
My entire family will be there the day I go and it is right I am there to raise a glass to a family matriarch who has stood in my corner for over half a century. 

Never Enough

EveryONE has a story

The other week I saw teenage boffin out walking with a young lady, they were ambling down the lane chugging beers as they did so.
I waved from the car!
Last night when messaging the boffin about prospective dog sitting I asked him about her
"I KNEW you'd be itching to ask me 😂😂😂."
Came the reply!
I'm such a transparent nosey old git!

Everyone has a story to tell.
Everyone.
And we often forget that, so obsessed we are with our own lives, and the lives of celebrities and the famous.
Mrs A stopped by the kitchen wall yesterday. She marvelled at a deep purple clematis flower that was growing over our back shed.
" Many years ago I once went to a dance in Mayfair with an officer of the Coldstream guards and wore a flower like that in my hair" she remarked rather wistfully
" The Guards'  motto rather suited him" she added with a sly smile " it translates from the Latin as second to none "

Like I said....everyone has a story to tell
You only have to ask.....
I cut her a flower and presented it to her over the wall.....

Everything Has A Story

I started full time paid employment in the September of 1980 when I was just 18
I was a junior bank clerk at the National Westminster Bank in Rhyl.
I was a terrible employee, but I was popular enough with the junior staff, a big bunch of youngsters who worked behind the scenes in the machine room.
In October 1980 I received my first pay cheque
And what did I buy?
A CB radio? A new grandad shirt?. Brand new furry seat covers for my Austin 1300? The latest Yazoo LP?
Naw
I bought a Carlton ware 1930s lobster fruit bowl

And I was pleased as punch with it

Postscript 
On Friday I received a fuel delivery from our local coal merchants. As the delivery guy stopped to present me with the invoice he noticed the bowl on the kitchen counter top and said pointed to it saying " I like that!" It was only then I realised I had owned it for 38 years

Fathers

My father in 1945

It's Father's Day here in the U.K.
So I thought I would let the readers do the leg work, seeing that if is often the case that they have the more interesting stories than I do.
My father died back in 1989, so time has kind of dulled my memory of him now. But he was a strong character within the family even though he wasn't a hands on dad like the sensitive  and 'present' ones we see today.
I have always had an aversion to men wearing jewellery. This slightly irrational dislike stems from childhood bathroom moments when my father would occasional encourage  me to wash my hands and face. His supervision would always take on a slightly exasperated air and when my fat little hands didn't move as quickly as he would like he would rub the soap over them brusquely, often catching his wedding and signet rings on my skin as he did so.
A small memory perhaps but one, on reflection , that left its mark.

So what are your small, or significant , painful or joyous memory of your father on this Father's Day?

Thank You

Several hours of good food,conversation,  wine, and two chatty girls competing with each other to tell the best ghost story. Thank you to the affable despot family for an evening of sweetness.

Film Fest

The tv is broken , which can only be a good thing.
So last night was a bit of a marathon of film waiting via laptop.
I sobbed at Fernanda Montenegro's performance in Central Station...thought that My Best Friend's Wedding looked ever so slightly dated and lost myself in How to train a dragon 

Today I am off to Chester with my sister in law then it's a barbecue with the affable despots .
No film watching today

Fernanda

Julia 

Watching

Winnie has been watching me from her corner of the couch.
Her piggy eyes look curious and a tad concerned....I've been watching the sob fest My Best Friend's Wedding
After an age she dragged herself up with a sigh and after hitting the floor heavily she ambled over to my arm chair and lifted her giant fat paws on my footstool in order to present her face to mine.
You can kiss me she indicated
And I hugged and kissed her giant gintrap mouth like a sad child would kiss his grandmother

Co-op Hillsborough

I once saw a woman in the co op in Hillsborough pay for a stranger's shopping.
I was at the back of the queue at the checkout and a rather shabby middle aged guy in front was searching and re searching  his pockets to pay for such basic tidbits as milk and bread and a tinned meat pie.
He looked pained and embarrassed
Quietly a youngish mother in front of me leaned forward and without fuss told the checkout girl to put the items on her bill.
I heard her say " it's ok .its ok"  to the shabby man, who looked as though he was about to cry
It was all over a minute later.
As she was packing her own shopping I caught her eye briefly  and smiled " That was very kind " 
I told her
" we all need a little kindness "  the woman answered before she and her children walked off...
I remember thinking just what a lovely lesion in life that woman had shared with her children that day at the checkout in Hillsborough's tired old co op

Paperwork and why falling in love is like owning a dog!

Nose to nipple
The kitchen table is a mess of paper and folders.
I'm getting to grips with jobs long overdue.
Winnie's pet insurance changed......tick!
The warranty on the wood burner and thermal store found.........tick!
William's inoculation record.........tick!
Sheep registration.....tick!
Guarantee on double glazing .....tick!

Of course the work gets sidelined for an odd hour.
You always find more interesting reading than an old electricity bill.
I found a box of papers this afternoon.
More shite to wade through.
Nursing assessments of my student days, my mother's obituary, a photograph of a consultant I used to work with wearing a sombrero! A one dollar bill! Various newspaper cuttings...
My first assignment for my film studies degree exploring the narrative structure of The Poseidon Adventure, postcards and lists of things to do.
The box was a snapshot of some thirty years
Tucked away in a moleskin notebook that was filled with lists and receipts was a hand written poem.
It wasn't my own work....god no......I'm not quite that fey
But it was a poem I liked
It was written by Taylor Mali