What's Your Drag Queen Name?

An occasional guilty pleasure in Bwthyn Y Llan is the screamingly over-the-top RuPaul's Drag Race.

Now, for those that don't know, DragRace is basically a foul mouthed, alternative beauty contest where 14 dragqueens sashay, scream and bicker for a top spot in front of the stunningly diva judge RuPaul. 

It's all terribly loud, contrived, bitchy and full of those sassy stereotypical one liners that Terence Stamp out of Priscilla would be proud of.

Yes all incredible fun!

The queens' drag names are just as entertaining as the frocks
Jiggly Caliente, Pandora Boxx, Jinx Monsoon, Sharon Needles Laganja Estranja and Ginger Minj are just a few of the ladies giving it large !

What would your drag name be?
I asked my friend Nigel this question once and without a pause he said Gloria Abyss
Good answer!
So what is your drag name ?
Answers on a postcard! 

Boys Will Be Boys

It's a long time since I was an adolescent .
But I still recognise teenage behaviour when I see it!
The three abandoned juvenile bantam cockerels have now set up a bachelor pad in hut 4 in the Ukrainian Village.
They spend most of their time mooching around on the street corners eyeing up the bigger girls with the false look and  swagger of boys that had never touched a female breast .
From time to time one of the hens will tire of their chirpy energy and will strut over to where the boys are chattering, sending the teens into a panicky mass of insecure hormones.
Chaos will then ensue, with awkward feathered feet galloping through the grass that needs a strim.
I need names for them....any ideas?

The boys don't know what to do with a real woman! 

What went wrong

1. Auntie Glad cut up one of the exhibit cakes which had been placed in the kitchen for safety and distributed it for the refreshments! 
2. Mrs Williams ( not her real name) who lives very near the hall spent the day muttering and yelling about the " inconsiderate parking" which galled me seeing that she was once the Flower Show Chairman and knows full well the amount of work that goes on setting up exhibits.
3. Mr Rowlands ( our biggest vegetable exhibitor) broke down ( car not emotionally) before the show and missed the deadline for entries. He arrived an hour late, and through a bit of hysterical pleading ( on my part) we were able to get 6 out of his 20 exhibits placed and judged. Thought the man was going to have a stroke! 
4. The winning chutney was in the wrong jar! 
5. Through personal circumstances several of our domestic class and Veg entrants were unable to show this year which is a shame and pretty understandable but I was slightly miffed by a couple of no shows including one villager who, when seeing me in the pub after the show stated loudly that they hadn't got a decent thing in their garden to exhibit! ( not realizing that  had just gone past their house and had seen the beautiful display on offer! - attendence apathy does irritate me, but I guess it's as valid enough reason not to come as any other. 
6. Real life sometimes gets in the way of this  chocolate box view I have of the world and it's good to be reminded of the fact sometimes. Teenage boffin, Cameron is having a bad time (with a  poorly grandmother) and I was glad to share some advice about nursing care with him as he checked on how his chutney got marked. Trelawnyd Val, I understand was having a hard time too, as The Flower Show was always loved by her partner Peter who died in the spring -this year's show must have held bittersweet memories for her.. We send her our love and best wishes.
7. Although we made slightly more money this year than we did last, attendence was noticably down yesterday, which depressed me somewhat. I guess Flower Shows are a bit of a dinosaur nowadays......
8. Hey ho 

And finally......

No more Flower Show talk for another year I promise

But I wanted to share this photo which was sent to me 

this evening,

It's Gladys' speech

Flower Show 2016

Thank you to our hard working committee

To the people that made the effort to enter and to visit the show

And to everyone who entered the international veg comp

We had a nice day xxxxxx

Gladys preparing the judges table

What are YOU doing this evening?

It's 22.32 pm on a Friday

I am 54 years old

What am I doing?

Making fucking art deco racing cars out of baby aubergines 

That's what I'm doing!

Humanity

Owners of bulldogs always say that their dogs have true humanity in their personality

This evening is a case in point.

I looked up from my paperwork around nine

and carefully watched Winnie sitting comfortably in her armchair  gazing into the middle distance 

She was obviously thinking about something important

Checklists

It's dawn and as one particulary dozey bulldog sleeps the sleep of the righteous with her head on my foot, I am mentally ticking off jobs that need completion.
The list seems endless
Noticeboards for the children's art ( tick)
Make Chocolate cake ( tick)
Make Coffee Cake ( tick)
Make Boiled fruit Cake ( tick)
Mrs Trellis reminded of entering that nice rose in her front garden ( tick)
Collect the previous winners' cups ( tick)
Box up the hundreds of craft hearts made by June from Kent to be sold ( tick)
Photocopy the international novelty vegetable  entries ( tick)
Unravel the bunting ( tick)
Challenge teenage boffin Cameron into entering another poorly supported class ( tick)

Luckily there are more ticks than not in my mind at the moment, but there are  outstanding jobs to be done
My mother's hand embroidered tablecloths are yet to be ironed,
A quiche lorraine needs baking
I need to mooch around Alan Walker's garden to pick his entries for the flower section ( he's been a bit under the weather recently )
Susan from Erw Wen needs gentle bulling about that bloody lovely dahlia she's in two minds cutting
Oh and I need to check if the hot water heater is still working in the hall's kitchen.

A few minutes ago, when I was wandering the lane in my night clothes, I spied " Trendy " Carol standing in her doorway with a wooden spoon in her hand ( she was dressed btw  in designer paint splattered jeans and a floaty top)  
" I've just made a carrot cake and there's not one on the schedule!!!!" She wailed

Such are the trials of running a flower show.